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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] ok - what is the word on the street about ps 234 - i have got some really really mixed feedback from parents lately - bullying, too big, kids who go to middle school doing poorly in math. it quite frankly has me really scared as dc is starting there in the fall. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.09.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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Look at the doe website to look at the scores. Don't just take everyone's word for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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scores are one thing - but how controlled the classrooms are, bullying, etc. aren't necessarily reflected there. i'm looking to hear about experiences from other current parents - hoping i've just run into a couple who are bitter lately [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I know nothing about 234. Did you take a tour? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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yes and liked it although it seemed a bit dis-orderly to me; but dh thought it was fine - but am getting nervous now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Dating question: At what point do you ask if the relationship is exclusive on his part? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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that really depends on how emotionally connected you are, could be three months, could be three days. what's your general feeling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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so, how do I ask it politely without sounding paranoid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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"I just want to let you know that I'm really enjoying the time we're spending together. I have stopped dating other people and just wanted you to know that." THEN SHUT UP. If he doesn't say that he's not dating anyone else either, don't make a thing out of it. Wait a couple of weeks and raise it then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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and if it's within the first three months of dating, I would wait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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For me: when you decide to have sex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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np: That was always my rule of thumb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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so first date... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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a dh: I think of that as a discuss not ask. "I feel like this is not some casual thing here. Like I'd like to be serious about this and see if we can make this work. Are you in the same place?" (From personal experience- if one is thinking it the other is too OR knows the other is. Either way, just throw it out there and talk about it.) Hell, if you can't have that kind of honesty, the relationship sucks anyway, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I been hearing that if they don't have enough kids to fill max in a G and T program in the fall they may pull from gen ed is that possable. Example My school g and T I know three kids who have turned it down. Brings class down to 24. This yr they had 26. So a parent told me they will pull kids from gen ed class. That they had kids coming in untill nov, I do know of a few kids that ended up in the class last yr and didn't have very high scores.School also told me they will fill it didn't say how. The parent told me it was also by letter and score last yr but kids got in. Please tell me this is not possable. 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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this is exactly what happened last year in dd's G&T class, all other K's in the school were at capacity 25 kids, late registrants we're given spots in the G&T k class which was 20 kids on the first day of school by week three it was 27 kids in all K classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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If this is true, then the whole process is a joke. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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no the G&T class did have an accelerated curriculum and the added kids did struggle but the law is that if you live in the zone then you automatically get a spot so pple who moved or registered late were rolled into whatever spaces were available and some happened to land in the G&T class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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in my school they pulled from one of the K.. Seemed parents who yelled loud enough got in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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last year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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op here. See I am freaking out. DC got 98 we really wanted nest. Have to deal with okay g and T ( not many in district) I really want it to be a true g and T. If i find out this is being done can I make a stink with the DOE? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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np: Do you want to be liked by your child's teachers and admin? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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The extra child that may end up there will not change the mix. And odds are it will be some kid tested over the summer, not spill over from gen ed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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get a life. you are going to make a stink about 1-2 kids who may have a slightly lower score? PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS. HOW DO YOU THINK THOSE KIDS OR THEIR PARENTS WOULD FEEL? MOVE ON. THE DOE IS DOING THE BEST IT CAN TO MAKE SENSE OF A COMPLICATED SITUATION, SUCH IS THE NYC PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTTEM. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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actually, in all fairness, it doesn't sound any test scores play a role in this. And that, indeed, is a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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I think they will take kids from gen ed who make the cutoff, but wouldn't have gotten in during the season. it makes sense to do this, and to allow principals some leeway here. it is good for community, and is a way to maximize resources, and allow the smarter kids in the gen ed zone to utilize the resources without a catchment preference. No one will be telling scores by the way, so useless to try to be the detective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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so i guess the moral of the story is to make sure your zoned school houses a g&t in the building. completely unfair, imo. if they want a way to deal with unfilled g&t classes they should institute a waitlist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 04:27 AM Flag
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If this happens at all, it only happens at G&Ts which can't be filled regular way. There were several in D3 last year that just weren't desirable enough to fill even after going through the WL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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there is no perfect system, norr can everything be fair. we are not living in communist china you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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since when is communist china the model of fairnesss? you seem to have missed the point entirely. nothing can be totally fair. that shouldn't be an excuse for taking the lazy way out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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district GT's do not have special curriculums. They are not accelerated. they do not receive special materials for enrichment. The students are an enriched or accelerated as teh teacher sees fit. If you have several students who don't move quickly, the teacher will slow down for those students, especially since there is nothing set to begin with tht is gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 03:11 PM Flag
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Citywides and district G&Ts are not the same. District is not an accelerated curriculum; It is a gen ed curriculum w/some opportunities for enrichment-nothing more. What do you mean by a 'true g&t'? Citywide is citywide and a whole different kettle of curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:01 PM Flag
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So why is it a negative to offer possible enrichment opportunities to gen ed kids already in the school community? Parental ego issues, much...? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:51 PM Flag
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not so different, actually. just accelerated. people want to believe citywides are so much different than other schools because they want to think they won the prize if they got in. of course acceleration makes a difference but it's not really a different curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 03:44 AM Flag
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Did letting in kids from Gen ed at last minute with low scores happen at one of the GTs that parents want or one of the GTs that parents don't want? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 03:09 PM Flag
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I was told this by the principal at a school I toured. I asked if that would be possible, next year with all the changes to g&t and she said yes, they would continue to put gen ed kids in the g&t to even out the classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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In many schools gen ed classes are smaller than the G&Ts so this reason does not make sense. Very few G&Ts are in schools with overcrowded gen eds, I know 116 is one and there may well be a lot of outer boroughs but not that many in Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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not the case in this school. unpopular g&t in D3. each class ends up with about 18 students [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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and the gen ed is overcrowded? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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no, neither is overcrowded. they just even out the numbers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I don't think the few kids they pull from gen ed into G&T will matter much. I am curious, though, how they will determine which kid will be moved. The children should be qualified for a G&T somehow. I am very sure, though, that a principal has enough power to do whatever is best for his/her school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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Last year my dd's K G&T class was 22 on day 1. They did fill it to capacity (28) two weeks into school, but they did not pull randomly from gen ed. The dcs added had tested and applied - half were from gen ed and half were from other schools. The additions were all very bright and there were no issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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OP is refering to last year as an example, so I was explaining that I don't think that they did what she said last year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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I am the op and what I am saying is that they may take kids who didn't get 90 and above and that is my issue. I don't want this to Be BS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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they will take kids 90 and above. but a 90 wouldn't have gotten the kid a spot at ps9 or ps166 this year. but if there is room in the G&Ts at these schools and a kid in gen ed has a 93, why not move him into the G&T at the last minute to utilize the resource and balance the school? I think you people get too caught up on the rules and your entitlement in the SYSTEM. You need to realize that most kids will be placed somewhere, and it only makes sense to move over the gen ed kids who still make the cut off. better for the community overall. heck, maybe we should bring back catchment preference. that will quiet you down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:38 PM Flag
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this "better for the community" argument is completely specious. your way of doing things give dcs who happen to be zoned for a school that shares space with a g&t an advantage. once people know that, the gen eds at these schools will only get more crowded. it's a stupid solution imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 04:39 AM Flag
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hey, they used to have catchment preference, and I could see that resurfacing along with the sib policy...and why not. doe should push for more people to stay local, and build up their schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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This would never happen at PS9. Gen ed classes are smaller than G&T and if more kids were moved they would be too small to exist (which happened last year btw, gen ed classes shrink from 3 to 2). It's absolutely against the principal's interest to do something like this. If the gen ed classes had 30 kids then yes, but that is far from reality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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You should call the DOE and ask about this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 03:32 PM Flag
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It was going to be a possiblity when cutoff was at 95. When they lowered it to 90, I knew they'd nix acceleration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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Op here. well I am in the city but not district 2 or 3. I really hope they dont take kids lower then 90.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 09:18 AM Flag
[ - ] I need some help with an awkward situation. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my father would like to take me and my dh out to dinner sometime in the next few days. That's fine, but here is the problem: He would also like to have his girlfriend there or have her babysit my dd. His girlfriend is one of my least favorite people in the world (religious freak who calls my faith into question, manipulative on many fronts, hunted down my dad 5 mths after my mom's death, etc.). He knows this is a very awkward situation for me, but if I say no, then he has me being the "bad guy" instead of seeing how this woman has treated me and my family. Should I just grin and bare it like I do any other time she is around, or do I get to say that I don't have to spend my birthday with someone who makes me this uncomfortable. By the way, my mom's unexpected and sudden death 2.5 years ago makes my birthday a slightly sad day for me. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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don't go on your actual birthday, and then grin and bear it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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yes, go out (you dont have to talk or listen to her) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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Could you suggest a lunch or dinner with just you and your dad? Tell him it would be fun to have some time together? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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^^^ sorry. I meant "bear it" not "bare it" although it may not have been much of a slip considering how vulnerable this situation makes me feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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i would rather have dinner with her than have her sit for my kids if i had to choose but you sound fairly grown up why not just stand your ground and say no to all of the above? i don't have enough spare time to be wasting it with people whose company i find repulsive and abusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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This is honestly how I feel. I don't have enough time to spend with all the people I love and adore let alone carve out time for someone who makes my skin crawl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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np: I disagree. This is her father we're talking about, not just some friend with an obnoxious girlfriend. She doesn't have to like the girlfriend (though obviously her father is hoping things will improve between them) but her father may not be around forever, and she shouldn't give up a chance to spend time with him just b/c she doesn't like his gf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I guess it just ticks me off that he would even think she should come around. She is just his girlfriend, not his wife or fiance. My brother isn't bringing his current girlfriend (who I actually really like). I feel like my dad is just being self-centered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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Unfortunately (for you) it sounds like your dad really likes this woman. I think you need to "suck it up" and spend some time with her, if it means spending time with your dad. It would probably be easier to do dinner with her than to have her with your kid. Just drink lots of wine at dinner - it's your birthday, you should be able to get drunk! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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I guess so. It would be much easier if she hadn't been such a jerk to me for the last 2 years. I've invited her to several dinners, glasses of wine here and there, and she won't come. Now that it's my birthday, she is willing to come. I don't really get it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:50 AM Flag
[ - ] Just read that there is organic honey in the Earth's Best snack bar I am giving my 13mo. What's the allergy risk on that? Cooked honey okay? Just the "raw" stuff to avoid? TIA. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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the issue with honey is not allergies, its botulism, and its irrelevant once kid is over one year. you're fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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i also think it's differnt if it's in a processed food rather than plain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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botulinm, but yes, over 1yo is no problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Oh good. I haven't kept up with foods she can't have at this point and thought honey was still one. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:23 AM Flag
[ - ] do foogo cups leak? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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yes, after awhile, but my kid throws his about 50x a day so that probably sped the process along. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:25 AM Flag
[ - ] DH just dropped off a pastrami sandwich for me from a place he went with a colleague. I don't even LIKE pastrami but I just ate over half of it... what's wrong with me?! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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you're hungry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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I guess... but now I feel ill! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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pregnant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:40 AM Flag
[ - ] lets take a head count (it feels like no one is on): 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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11215 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Sibling getting married. Wants cash, not registering. I am not comfortable w/ cash so looking for ideas or gifts you have given in the past. They do not have a house yet (saving for one) but live together in an apt. so have a lot of domestics (tho nothing very nice). Say $250 - 750 range. Thanks! 80 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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sounds like they want cash why would you give a gift? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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DH and I agree it is not the kind of present we want to give although its fine for others and I understand why he is doing it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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then if you won't give cash give him a gift card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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$300 gift card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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why would you rather give them something htey don't want versus something they do. the whole point of giving a gift is to think about the recipient and not yourself. they want cash bc the thing they want most is to buy a house. sinc eyou can't give them $500 worth of house, give them the cash, make them happy and call it a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I always buy off the registry and typically would give cash but this does not feel right for me for this occasion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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have it your way and buy them a gift even though they specifically asked for cash. you are really stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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Wow - I am many things but stupid is not one of them. Why so bitter I wonder? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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sibling asks for cash for wedding gift - you buy a present = stupid in my book not bitter just calling em' like i see em' lady [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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np: You are being very petty. I guess you have an issue with your sibling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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but thats what they want [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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give a check for $750 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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If you want to commemorate the occasion with something they will keep, then give that above and beyond the cash gift. You could give them $400 in cash plus a smaller gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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$750 is a lot for a wedding present... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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People here are RIDICULOUS in the amounts they give for presents. No one at my wedding spent over $100 (except two dear friends of my parents who spent about $250) and I thought people were being incredibly generous. I have never seen anyone spend $750 for a friend's gift (or a sibling for that matter) irl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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I would never consider it. My closest friend (all my siblings are cheap) got us something worth about $250, which was so very generous. A few older family members/friends got us some sligtly more expensive things such as silver from Tiffany, but no one spent over $500. Oh, and we got married 3 months ago! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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i got gifts ranging from $35 (from a friend in grad school) to $1000 from my grandmother. Most gifts were in the range of $100-$300 (single-couple) but a few families gave 1 bigger gift (say for parents plus 2 young adult children) that were in the $400-$500 range. And this was 12 years ago. I think that if the guest is very close to the bride/groom and/or their families and they have the means, they DO give more expensive gifts. This is particularly true at more extravagent weddings and among certain ethnic groups. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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I just gave nephew $1000 for a Bar Mitzvah gift. My bro got married 15 years ago and I gave $750 and I was single. Just because that is not your world does not mean people do not spend that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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wow, your nephew must be one spoiled kid. I hope that was a college savings bond [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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not spoiled at all. donated 35% of his cash gifts to a residential home for kids with autism, a place where he has volunteered at for a few years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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NP: Not for your sibling, for others yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Its a lot for ANYONE - np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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We gave more than that to both my brother and SIL (DH's sister). Would not give that to strangers but we have just one sibling each, and they both married fairly young and needed cash. And we could afford it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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well, you are very generous, but I hope that your siblings don't now expect that kind of gift all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Of course not, it was a wedding gift. Even if they divorce and marry again, the gift would be scaled down significantly -:). BTW, we no longer do christmas or birthday gifs for adults so it evens out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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ok, that makes a bit more sense. See, many people (dh's sister included ) would then expect big gifts for everything [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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what's your HHI? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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I am the or who said $750 is a lot for a gift - my HHI is over $300K, and we are generous people but I think that is a ridiculous amount to give anyone for a gift, unless, perhaps, your own children when they are married if you want to get them something very special (and you're not paying for the wedding) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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I was interested in the HHI income of the person who thought it was a right amount - sorry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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i realize that but I thought that the perspective of someone who thought it was crazy but was still pretty well-off would be interesting too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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It was me, i posted below, turns out HHI is similar, just view things differently I guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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apparently. I think $750 for a wedding gift is really ridiculous, I give gifts (including to my siblings) in the 2-300 range [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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You see, I give in the same range to friends etc. but sibling is very different IMO. Obviously you see it differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Well, I guess you are very close with your siblings, I am much younger than mine so they were married when I had no money, and dh's sister is a piece of work, but we are very generous to her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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why do you care if someone wants to give their OWN sibling $750!! When my sister got married I gave a 1000. She is my only sister and we are very close and I wanted to give a nice gift so she could enjoy her honeymoon. Why do you care? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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WOW. My very middle class ILs gave us $5K as a wedding gift and paid for the rehearsal dinner. I think $750 to your own kids is a pretty small gift unless that's all you can afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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I would give my kids a larger gift than that if I could afford - my point was I wouldn't spend $750 for anyone other than my kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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That's fine. But plenty of people are very close with their one sibling or their nieces or nephews, a godchild, their best friend, etc. - not everyone is so immediate family centric. And there's a huge diff between $750 and what was probably $10K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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that is true, i just am saying that for many middleclass people a $750 wedding gift is excessive. And yes, if I was very very close to another relative I would give them a very generous gift [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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It was about $300K at the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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you are very generous and also quite well off. I wouldn't suggest to others that they spend this much money as you do not know their financial situation. I find it presumptuous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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OP said she was willing to spend that much, I did not put that in her mouth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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She said $250-$750 range (which is a huge range). I apologize. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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I normally am opposed to giving cash for wedding gifts, but if it is someone close to me and they need it, I see no reason not to. Why are you opposed? It seems you must have a very strong reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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This board cracks me up. Post this another day and people will be appauled at the audacity of your sibling to ask for cash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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ITTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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lol, so true! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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nice linens for the bed? one thing I received (that I did not register for) is a mirror that frames the wedding invitation across the top of it -- looks quite nice, not sure where to get one tho. or a nice silver picture frame or clock from Tiffany. I'm with you -- I'm not comfortable giving cash as a gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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OP: thanks for the suggestions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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for a person who WANTS cash, this is a stupid gift. These people are obviously practical people who want to save. giving them an expensive useless knick knack is the opposite of what they seem to want. If anything give them something useful. That said give them money, that's what they want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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Can you give them a gift from a place with a very liberal return policy that would return cash to them. Back in 2000 I want to say we were able to return our unwanted Tiffany gifts for cash with receipt, and for store credit without. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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I also agree with just giving the cash on this one. It's not about you and what you want, it's about them. An expensive gift they don't want is not only a waste, but can also be a burden or hassle is they then have to find a place for it, store it, feel like they have to use it, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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Of course its not about me -- I will still be spending the $$ and I find it hard to believe there are no good ideas about alternatives to cash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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If you know which store they like, get a gift card there. That's as good as it gets for ideas I am afraid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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not if the person wants cash. They want to save or buld a nest egg or just decide what they want later. Why does this bother you so much. Giving a gift is about making the recipient happy. If I were them and you gave me some usless (albiet beautiful and expensive gift) I would think that is very nice of you and grateful for your generoaity but I wouldn't be excited and happy about recieving it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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np: that is sad for you then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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I agree with you - also wouldn't be happy. People have too many things. What's the point of having something nice but useless? It's a waste of money and resources. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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NP- this is so asinine. Give them cash to do as they wish. Your refusal will just create tension down the road. Cash is your bugaboo not theirs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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If they cook, le Creuset. They'll have it for ever. (So don't get a trendy color.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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FWIW, I would never want Le Creuset. It's way to heavy and I would never use it. This is why you shouldn't impose your taste on others when it comes to gift giving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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Do you cook? Braises and that kind of stuff? I've never known a serious cook who did not like LC. Granted it is heavy. And if you are tiny/not strong that could be a deal breaker, but... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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OP: I love this idea! They both love to cook and this is perfect. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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many people don't like LC(I'm not one of them). How about a Kitchen Aid mixer or really good pots & pans (like All Clad)? Probably more useful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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OR: OP said they both had housewares. (And I hate All Clad! I know... sacrilege. I got a 12" AC and a 12" Cuisinart. Like the latter 10x more.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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she said they had housewares but nothing really good. i LOVE my All Clad (had Cuisinart and it was ok, but nothing like the AC)... to each her own... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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or his... Truth is, I like my Wear Ever pro stuff best of all. It isn't shiny but it heats better and is much more comfortable in the hand. But as you said, "To each... their own." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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I also love my All Clad and would go with that over Le Creuset any day...more practical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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that is exactly why I would go with a nice set of LC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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Yeah, don't get a trendy color like white, like I did. A stupid thing to own in white. Kind of afraid to use it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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Why? You could just use softscrub to clean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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A Dyson vacuum cleaner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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FWIW, I don't do cash, either. I have done a gift certificate for a dinner at an expensive restaurant, arranged over the phone with the restaurant and their hotel and given to the couple when they check in as a surprise. You could do something like that, for their honeymoon. Another possibility, nice crystal wine glasses that will go with anything they will have later. They are almost sure to use them. Tiffany has some nice ones in the $50 each range-- so a set of 12 would run $600, 8 would be $400. And it's hard to imagine someone not using or liking them-- even if they already have wine glasses of another sort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:27 PM Flag
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if your sister wants cash, give her cash. stop being so controlling. i think if it's your sister, give as much as you can afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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NP: I don't give cash, b/c it feels crass and b/c (especially if it is family), I want to give something they can look at/use/pass down for a lifetime. I think the sister is the one who is controlling. You don't tell people to give you cash or anything else. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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this post is about YOU. the couple wants cash. give them what you want. stop thinking about what YOU think or feel about cash being given. they will think you are a jerk ifyou give them a gift. they will just return it and be angry about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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Then they weren't worth getting a gift for, IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:38 PM Flag
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^^And I mean any gift. Cash or otherwise. You sound like you were quite the princessy bridezilla. UGH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:39 PM Flag
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my sister gave me $1,000 for my wedding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:39 PM Flag
[ - ] diaper dekor or diaper genie? thanks. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I don't know anything about diaper dekor but the diaper genie stank to high-heaven! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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neither [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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I bought the one that basically is a trashcan with a flipping lid-- you put regular 13 gallon trash bags in it and take them out frequently-- bought for $25 or so at BRU [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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They're all the same. I have the Diaper Champ & I'm changing the pail often. It's inevitable...the smell leaks out of the pail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I am going to LA for 2 days. where should i stay? i also have one day to do whatever i want, what should dh and i do? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I'm here too much. You posted this the other day. Sigh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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yep me to. why post again! figure it out we gave you tons of suggestions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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see 2 days ago when you posted this. locations haven't changed, they're still there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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There. She has her answer. She should UB for two days while in LA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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its hard to tell you what to do if we don't know what you enjoy. studio tour? the beach? the Getty? lots of choiuces. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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OP: at this point I need some hotel suggestions. Didn't love the ones from the other day. Checked out the Peninsula and it was a wee bit pricey. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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I like TripAdvisor for opinions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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Maison 140 is a nice small boutique hotel in BH, the Mosaic a tad bigger, also well located, Four Seasons of course, the Avalon is art deco cool, the Cresecent is hip nad has a happening restaurant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:22 AM Flag
[ - ] I am going to California for 2 days. where should i stay? i also have one day to do whatever i want, what should dh and i do? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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California is a big state. City? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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didn't you post this the other day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
[ - ] my credit score is so low i want to kill myself. having a newborn has really sent me topsy turvy. my score plummeted so low in this past year. we finally want to get a house and now we are just big fat losers. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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How has having a newborn affected your credit score? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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kids cost money! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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op - and your available time to think about bills has shrunk and there are all these unexpected costs. For one thing, I'm not down to my prepregnancy size yet--almost--and all along the way, I've had to have professional clothing. I still have barely any work clothes but the little I own have cost money. Not to mention dd's clothes. I am so depressed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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np: i bet it hurt mine. i missed paying some bills/bounced a few checks that month, and i also had no income for a while. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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i hate the whole money thing, we were doing great at first, i realized i wanted to be sahm, so we lost 50% of our income, we are big fat losers right now, it sucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I have wanted to be a sahm forever and with gas prices being a wohm is rough but it's not pointless because i have much better benefits. i hate that we are the only ones renting in our area and that our crappy rented condo has run out of space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on who has 4 or more dc in NYC? I have 3 and would like another but think it might be crazy. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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It's all about money honey. If you have money anything can be made comfotable and doable. You are, however, creating a drain on our natural resources. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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What if she kills somebody else's kid first? Then it would net to zero impact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I like you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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give me a break [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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np: But that is a good point. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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if you can afford enough space and private school (or have a good public option), then why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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private school is the second thing that comes to your mind after enough space? Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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not OR, but yes, educating dc's is a big priority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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yes, but the NYC public school system is pretty good. No need to worry about private school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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OR: I did say have a "good public" alternative, but not everyone is zoned for a good public. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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LOL...that's why everyone is scrambling to get into a handful of G & T's, or paying $$$ to live in a few good zones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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why is that 'wow'? In my family, education is a huge priority. I guess food would be up there, but I am assuming that being able to feed another child was not an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I don't, but I'd imagine you'd need $$$ to pull it off in Manhattan which you might if you already have 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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The only people I know with 4 kids in NYC are very wealthy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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or very poor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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But if you aren't very poor, don't expect having 4 to open the door to a wealth of financial aid and other stuff. Expect that you will have to tighten the budget more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Or Hasidic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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Space is probably the main issue. You will need at least a 3BR, preferably a 4BR apartment, at least. It's going to cost you if you want to stay in the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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why do you want more? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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once you have three kids you realize how little additional work another child will create. I have three and I love kids. If I had the resources I would have at least 5 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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I have 3 and I think you are nuts to want 4. Can't you just be the house where all the other kids play. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Wow, how much help could you get? I don't know anyone personally with four in the city but I see women with 4 and FT nannies and summer/country homes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I just got the strangest phone call. At work. From someone who says he is my cousin, my mom's brother's son who has never had any contact with my family b/c my uncle did not want to have a child but got someone pg. Very weird. He sounded nice and asked if I wanted to meet - should I? We both live in NYC. I didn't know I had a first cousin... 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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Ask for a little more information that you can follow up on before meeting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I asked my mom and she said that she did remember my uncle getting someone pg about 30 years ago. I would only meet in a public place of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I would meet up at Starbucks or some very public place for coffee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Grammar moms: is "first-ever" hyphened? TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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If used as an adjective before a noun, yes--although there's wiggle room if you prefer not to use it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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yes, because presumbably it's describing an event or object [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:08 AM Flag
[ - ] What happened to the mom who was having problems with her 7 yo DD feeling left out of social cliques and not having time to set up playdates? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I was looking for her too, to tell her to MAKE some time for her child - duh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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ITA. Some moms do not understand the importance of social relationships. Especially when it comes to DDs, it is very important. You should never wait for other parents to reach out to you, you must do that calling and emailing. In fact, my own DD (almost 7) sets up most of her own playdates now and I simply confirm with other moms. There is nothing worse for a kid than feeling left out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] don't understand obama's "regret" speech about putting his kids on camera. the fact is, he did because they were "caught up in the moment". so than just let it be. he has no grasp on his beliefs. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
News 07.09.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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it's a slick lawyers prerogative to change his mind whenever he wants to about absolutely anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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Bush isn't a lawyer and he changed the rational for invading Iraq more often than I change the sheets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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