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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Anyone ever terminate a pregnancy? Esp. after having children? Was it awful? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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i am sorry, but you are going to drive yourself crazy. you have to do what you have to do. you have 2 healthy kids, just be happy and go on with your life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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Yes, No. It was the right thing to do. Do what makes sense for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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my cousin did. she had a 14 month old and a 2 month old and found out she was pregnant and she just couldn't handle it. she was only 24 yo at the time and her dh was away in the military so she was truly on her own. it was the right decision for her. she did not go on to have more kids later either although i think she thougt she would at the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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yes, two times: once before having children, and once when dc was 2 (during a *very* difficult time in my marriage). it was difficult both times, emotionally, but it was the right thing to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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I got PG with twins when my 1st was 4 months -- we had planned 2 kids, but my attitude was we would just adjust & things would be very fine. My much more controlling husband & his mother pressured me to abort. My mother pressured me to keep & vowed all kinds of help. I kept them & love them dearly, but has made life harder in many ways -- husband totally resents me, but we were on rough footing from the beginning of our marriage. I wouldn't say I don't have regret & I would completely understand the decision to abort & probably would have been OK with that route, too. Both decisions can be right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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your dh sounds like a d!ck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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yeah, he is... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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my sister did. no regrets whatsoever. none. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] how is it outside? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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hot and sticky [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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ok, we are staying home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
[ - ] can anyone rec. a good supportive sports bra for large chest? thanks 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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i wish i had your problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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OP: Grass is always greener. Sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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i am an A cup, its not fun [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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neither is not being able to walk without a back ache or wear clothes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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Duct tape a couple of cantaloupes to your chest and see how fun that is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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title9sports.com has a lot of good options - their frog bra is my favorite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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OP: thank you, I will check this out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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i'm big breasted and ITTA. they have a lot fo choices [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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I always wear two. A regular one with no wire (I know, not great support) underneath a champion sports bra. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Not sour grapes but in this climate of private schools admissions don't you think the mom who has two legacies at two privates and will most likely get in to both is selfish? She should be happy with just one connection, one accept and take whatever she can get! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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I read her post as worrying that she would get neither if she applied to both, not wanting to get into both [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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that's right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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She wants the best for her child as we all do. Its not like we are talking about hoarding the last UNICEF rations here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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OP of the other post, hilarious!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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why is it selfish? that doesn't make sense. it doesn't make you selfish for wanting the best for your children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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there's nothing selfish about this. selfish are people who get into multiple schools, know which one they will send dc to and then wait until the last minute to decline the others without consideration for those who may be on a WL wo an acceptance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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Here we go again--every year, the same sour grapes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:30 PM Flag
[ - ] I am sure this has been discussed to death, but what did we all think of the NYT article about kid noise in NYC co-ops? I just read it. We are about to move and I am totally paranoid about the noise issue. we are very lucky in our current apt. for some reason there is very little noise and we have really sweet neighbors who never seemed bothered. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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I was into the article b/c I have a neighbor who has complained about something I don't know how to fix nor really think it needs to be fixed. She ALWAYS casually mentions that she can hear my youner dd talking/crying, etc. Mind you we do not let her shriek in the middle of the night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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np: some people are jsut really unpleasant about kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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I am fortunate to live in a small building where everyone in our line has kids, so there is no issue. Where we used to live, we had a 2-3 yo living above us in a 1 bed apt (so no room of her own) and she was constantly running up and down the hall up there. It drove us crazy, but we would never have said anything to the parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:31 PM Flag
[ - ] clique post got me thinking...my 4 YO DS is not social with his own age group. Loves older kids, etc. I'm finding it difficult to set up playdates because he is really reluctant and unengaged. My ped told me to relax that there is too much pressure to socialize our kids early on but I feel like everyone else already has friends and he'll be left out in coming years. Am I being a micro-mom? Should I let it go or insist? Sigh. TIA 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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Give it time, he'll come around. My oldest was like that--incredibly slow to warm and not social at all. The year he turned 5 he went to a very low-key, outdoorsy summer camp and made his first friend. It was so cute. Then he started kinder, had a totally awesome teacher & a nice bunch of kids in the class. He ended up being very well-liked by his peers and having playdates. He's back @ that camp again now and has made another good friend. It just takes time. My DD is 2 and already has a good friend and meets new friends everywhere she goes--totally different personality. Both are okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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op: Thanks for your post. I get so heavy hearted for him sometimes. I know I just have to truust who he is and accept that he may never be very social, but a couple of friends would be nice... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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He will have his circle of friends. Don't worry about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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Hang in there. He's so young. I know it's hard when you see friend's kids out there socializing and he's hanging back, but there is really hope. DS barely spoke through all of preschool. The different between him at 4 and now at 6 is so huge. His kinder teacher adored him, he got excellent feedback and he is really popular with the other kids. Your little guy will get there in his own way. I have a friend w/ a similar little guy who is 2.5 (my dd's age) and I keep reassuring her--her boy sticks right by her side, doesn't talk much or socialize out in the world. And my dd is overy there making friends w/ everyone, chatting up the kids & grown ups, singing and crowing and carrying on. If I had seen her when DS was that age I would have been dismayed for him. But not I can see there are so many ways for them to be social and happy. He'll be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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. . . have dismayed of DS ever managing w/ friends, but he's really totally fine. He's never going to be as outgoing as DD or some other kids, but he's funny and smart and sweet and has friends now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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op: Thanks, I'm crying now ( in a good way). You have both been really sweet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] thank you 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Talking about Bugaboos. I can see why the Frog and whatever they are called nowadays are popular and quite pricey. It is a really good stroller and the price is justified. I don't see how the Bee fits into that picture, though. $500 for an umbrella stroller just doesn't work for me. You cannot say that you bought the Bee because it is such a great stroller. Bugaboo Bee owners just bought it because they like the brand and the "hey, look, I can spend so much money on a mediocre stroller!", no? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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ita on the bee. it is way overpriced and still heavy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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We were going to get the Bee, but every time we tried it out, the collapse would be sticky. Very annoying. We ended up buying a Maclaren Techno XLR on Sunday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 03:33 PM Flag
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We're considering the Bee because we need a lightweight (everyday) stroller and like the idea of the baby facing us and an easy fold. Concerned about having a 6 month old in a Mac, thinks it tips over too easily and like the idea of single handle bar. There doesn't seem to be a better compromise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.23.09, 12:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Is $1500 a fair price for an experienced doula? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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for how long? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I don't understand the question--through the labor and birth, I guess. It's my second baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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seems very high to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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Most experienced doulas are MORE than that. Some are in the mid-$2000s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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Mine was twice that and totally worth it. -np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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you mean, as in $5000? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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Sorry, was over $4K. There's a big range. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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wow, that is a lot of money. Was it Amy Brown? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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Yes. She is fantastic, and I felt it was totally worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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np: did that include post-partum work, too? or a lot of prenatal visits (massage? acupuncture, etc.?). that seems like a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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It's only this one doula who charges that much. She has quite the racket going. She's no greater than any other great doula is, but her market is wealthy people who feel like the more exorbitant a fee they pay, the better the doula must be (doesn't quite work like that.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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My doctor recommended her and she's one of the most experienced doulas around, which is why I went with her. The fee didn't factor into the decision either way. -OR below [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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Let me guess, Moritz. They have a mutual back-rubbing thing going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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nope. wasn't at slr either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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No "racket" involved , we interviewed five others and found her to be by far, much more experienced and savvy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.11.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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not a racket for us, we know value when we find it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.11.08, 03:49 PM Flag
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A lot of long phone calls before the birth, practically a guarantee that she would be there for my delivery (she takes only a few clients so rarely uses backup), a three hour consultation, and the standard home visits pre and post labor. At the end of the day, it really didn't work out to very much considering the number of hours she put in. Loved, loved, loved her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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just curious how experienced she is. how many births has she attended? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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I'm sure hundreds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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agree. she's been doing this full time for ten years. i think a lot of doctors like her because she's very knowledgeable and knows how to spot trouble and knows exactly where you are in your labor, so will get you to the hospital when you need to be there but not a minute earlier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Okay. Not to be troublesome, but what you're describing is what a doula DOES. It is her job. ANY good doula will do all this and do it well, most for a lot less money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I'm sure there are many great doulas out there. She is the one I know, and I really liked her, and I know a lot of doctors respect her. That's all. Carry on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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wow. That is expensive. That's like $150/hour. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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If someone has a 24-hour labor, it's actually only $62 an hour. And, a doula does a prenatal visit AND a postpartum visit--if you figure 2.5 hours for each visit, the fee considered per hour goes down even more. not to mention the time a doula spends on call for you, not going out of town or anything waiting for you to give birth anytime between 38 and 42 weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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it's fair. we hired a very experienced doula 5 years ago, and her fee was $1000. now expecting #2, we interviewed several other doulas, and the going rate seems to be around $1500. this includes prenatal visit, being with you for as long as you need her during labor, and a postpartum visit. totally worth it, i feel. the doula we decided on charges $1600, which i feel will be worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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i paid $1300 three years ago, so yeah, it seesm fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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kkk [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.11.08, 03:46 PM Flag
[ - ] maybe a dumb question, but what do you do in terms of bedtime, when baby turns 1, starts on regular milk, and i hear it's good to go off the bottle? right now my 10mo has milk in a bottle before bed, naps, etc. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.09.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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you brush baby's teeth between bottle and bedtime, yes? So if db is not falling asleep with a bottle, just give that bedtime milk in a sippy. You can also get sippies with rubber lids that are very similar to bottles- Nuby makes them I think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Going to Maine in Aug, never been, what is it like, what type of clothes do i need to bring? tia 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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mosquito netting and a sweatshirt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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but how casual is it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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very [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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may be a bit cool at night and in the mornings, so layers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:00 PM Flag
[ - ] found out I am a month along with a 2 1/2 year old and 4 month old. This was obviously unplanned and I am not financially or emotionally equipped to have a third right now. Advice? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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what does your husband say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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sorry, replied in wrong place-- he does not want one right now or at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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np: have you told him you are pg yet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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well, you have two choices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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do you need someone to say it's okay to consider abortion? Because it is. It's okay to consider abortion and it's okay to abort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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yes, that is what I need. I was so thrilled with my other two and now I feel awful. I feel guilty because I still want a third but not for another two years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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Well, it is ok. You need to talk with your dh and decide what is best for all of you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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it's okay. It really is. YOu have a TINY baby, an infant. I don't want to seem like I'm encouraging you to abort if that's not really what you want, but it seems like it would be a very hard thing to have this baby, in terms of already having an infant (and are you nursing?) and in terms of dh's feelings. I'm so sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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You have to do what is right for your family and if that means terminating, than that's that. OTOH, if you think you want another just not right now, you may want to sit with this decision for a bit and see how you feel when you recover from the shock. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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Look. I'm going to get flamed here. I know it. But, I was in the same boat as you are in two years ago. I chose to abort. We are struggling to get pg now. I look at my friends who had unplanned pgs, kept the baby because they knew that they wanted another, but the timing was way off; they are all doing really well. I say there is no good time for a baby, so just have it. Flame away everyone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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No flame here - thanks for sharing your experience, I am sorry you're now having trouble conceiving, good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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^^^ my bff was 5 mo with her second and in the middle of moving house when she found out she was pg with #3. She describes it as a bomb going off in her house. I actually encouraged her to abort. It's been tough at times, but it is what it is and they are all very happy kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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np: I agree with this. Things that can seem insurmountable now can be manageable in 6 months, or 12 months. If you want a third eventually, I would keep this one now, and take it all one day at a time. But you and your husband are the only ones who can make this decision- just offering my perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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OP: no flame. I wish I could... I just feel like if I terminate I would rather do it between 5-6 weeks... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:16 PM Flag
[ - ] 50 max. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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