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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] 1. the pages take a long time to refresh 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Site Feedback 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it legal for a company to lay you off while you are on short-term disability for health reasons? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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i think if they are laying you off for reasons that have nothing to do with your disability, then yes. say they close your department, or company wide layoffs, or you are fired for cause that's "discovered" while you are on leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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this happened to a friend (not to me). think it was company-wide layoffs. so, is there anything she can do or does she just have to accept whatever benefits they offer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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In the current economy, with many companies doing massive RIFs, she's probably not going to get anywhere by making a stink. If her employer is laying off half her department, she's not going to have a legal case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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or: ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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thanks. it's helpful to know whether or not it's legal/actionable in any way. it's just a terrible situation all around. hope things get better for her soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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It all depends if she can prove they chose her because of disability. Is she on maternity leave? I would advise her to get a lawyer and at least try to negotiate a better severance package. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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She's not on maternity leave -- they found a tumor and she went on disability leave about a month ago. I'm assuming this would be a labor lawyer, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Employment lawyer. She can call the NY bar, I think, to find one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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^^^even if she doesn't have a legal case, they may be worried enough to give her a bit more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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op here: thanks for the advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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OR: FYI, when I did this (I was on maternity leave and laid off), the lawyer cost me about $5K, but I did end up getting a lot more severance than I would have otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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can you recommend your lawyer? Or did they just specialize in claims related to maternity leave? tia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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or, before you even speak to a lawyer she should just talk to her former manager and see what he can do for me. I was laid off once and I was able to get a bigger severance package through my former boss who worked this out for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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what he can do for HER (not me, of course) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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thanks for that advice. I think she had a great relationship with her boss, so maybe this will help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Live in the city. If #1 is three when #2 is born, and both will go to daycare most the week, what stroller/pram would you recommend. NYC. Have a Maclaren and a jogger already. I'm sick of buying baby stuff. Can I get away with just a buggy board? Sometimes take two strollers out if DH is around and then bring a bjorn thingy and a stroller if I have them both? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Our dcs are exactly that age difference. Found that we had to have a double because dc #1 got tired. You want to buy my Phil and Ted for cheap? I'm about to post it on Craigslist. Blue 2005 model. Second seat in back. Infant insert that's great in winter. $300! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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I would like to buy your stroller [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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#1 won't need stroller. Let her walk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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at 3yo, for shorter distances i think buggy board is fine. but if walking home from daycare in the evening like 20 blocks, than you may need a double. get a used one for cheap to tide you over. we gave up double when ds was 3yo and by 3.5 gave up buggy board and made him walk. just shy of his 4th bday we gave up his single stroller too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 12:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Would a stainless Steal wedding band be a crappy ring choice? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Los Angeles 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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not if it's what you can afford (and it's steel, fyi) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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that's what i meant. Sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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would titanium be any better? I am only a really small budget [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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Hmmmm - I don't know. I think so, but I am no expert. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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my husbands ring is part Titanium, and other metals. He thinks its very cool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.22.08, 07:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a financial planner? If so, do they actively manage your money, or just help with allocation, insurance decisions and the like? How much do they charge? Are you pleased? Can you recommend anyone? REally want to someone to help with strategy and allocation more than someone who is going to sell me a buch of stuff and churn an account to generate fees. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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too bad: I had a great planner to rec. who does lots of churning and sells me tons of useless crap. Dammn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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aren't you witty! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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well why would anyone want a Planner like that? Kind of dumb to post this imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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My brother is one and he is SO smart and not cheesy. I wouldn't post his name here but I can maybe set up a fake email and put it on here if you would like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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there are many different kinds of financial advisers/planners out there and they all work in different ways. the most improtant thing is that you find someone you are comfortable with, whose general philosophy matches your own. although the media would ahve you think that how they are compensated is of utmost importance, in the end it's not. someone who is going to not treat you well is going to do it regarldess of their compensation scheme - whether they charge you a flat fee and then brush you off with a "canned" plan or whether they put you in poorly suited investments with high fees or whether they churn your account for high commissions. A good adviser will disclose everything up front, offer you options, spend a lot of time with you and make recommendations that you feel comfortable with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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Do you have someone to recommend or can you point me to a source of such people? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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np: we've been very happy with a woman at Ameriprise. We're not wealthy and she's been great with helping us make the most of what little we have. They charge $600/yr, flat fee. I think you can interview people until you find someone you're comfortable with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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Can you describe the type of advise she has given you? Does she also recommend specific securities? Is she knowledgable about college and retirement savings, estate planning, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Like I said we don't have much, so her advice has been focused on maximizing what we have for retirement and college savings. She goes into in-depth descriptions of the different stock/funds she reccomends and why, and she's very knowledgeable about everything you asked about--college/retirement/estate planning. We've been with her about 6 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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no, unfortunately, this is what I do, so I can't recommend anyone. you look for this the same way you look for anopther professional, ask your friends or colleagues whom they use and what they like/don't like about them. your lawyer or accountant might also be able to recommend someone. but keep in mind that what works for one person may not work for you. one person may want someone who makes aggressive recommendations and calls them weekly, whereas another person may liek someone low key who only contact thems quarterly or in the event of something significant. and no one adviser can be all things to all clients. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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Meaning you are a financial planner? If so, can you describe the services you provide and the related fees? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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i was on here eating my late lunch so i can't stay and go into this. personally, i work for a large financial services firm (like Merril Lynch, but not Merril Lynch). In general, I offer my clients conservative, asset allocation type planning (inc education and estate planning), with a buy and hold philosophy. for most clients i work on commission because i find that it is the lowest cost alternative if you are following buy and hold. that being said, i work with "middle market" and mostly younger clients (ll try to come back to this after work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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np: I've also been working with someone at Ameriprise for 7 - 8 years and am very happy with him. Their fees are reasonable and they give a lot of personal service. I would interview some of their planners and see what you think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.13.10, 09:19 AM Flag
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Yes, my financial planner works on a percentage of holdings basis, about 1% of the assets that she manages annually go to her fee. That way she is incented to risk balance the portfolio and grow the bottom line, not churn the account. She uses Schwab to execute trades, so they tend not to cost much. I would HIGHLY recommend her - she works for a small, private firm with an incredible local reputation, but they're located near San Francisco, CA. They are licensed to have clients in other states, but you'd probably interact largely via phone (assuming you don't live out there). If you're interested in hearing more, go to http://www.grossmanfinancial.com/staff.htm . Again, they are an independent firm, so they do not have any corporate doctrines about what funds, etc. to sell to clients. I like that a lot. Also, Frances specializes in real estate and college planning for families. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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I can't imagine paying someone 1% of my portfolio. That's a huge amount of money...I do it all myself. Why can't people do this themselves???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 07:06 PM Flag
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NP: ultimately people need to assess whether they can do it well enough themselves so that they would end up with better results than a financial planner would, minus his/her 1% fee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 08:18 PM Flag
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nnp: for the same reason people can't or don't do their own dental work, probate an estate, take out their appendix, sell their own home, put an addition onto their house, etc. it's not that they aren't able to learn and develop the requesite skills, but they usually ahve their own full time job to attend to, plus a family or a partner and they'd rather outsource it then spend their time on this. i had a fried who would never hire an accountant bc Turbo Tax was so great. but he didn't have the time to follow up on every change in the tax laws and how to best take advantage of it and how to change his investment plan to save taxes, etc. and 10 years later, the few hundred dollars he saved each year "doing it himslef" he paid a thousand times over in lost opportunities to save taxes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 09:20 PM Flag
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I have an accountant...although I know the tax code quite well I do see the need for an accountant. very differeent from a financial planner. I can do my own financial planning and hae been doing it for many many yrs. Financial planners very often arte trying to make $$$ themselves which involves putting their interests before yours. Stupid to compare financial planner to dentist, doctor, lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.13.10, 07:21 AM Flag
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that's where i disagree. all professionals are trying to make $ for themselves - it's called work. and many have said "lawyer just does it to up billables" or doctor likes c-sections bc they pay better or dentist insisted i needed expensive dental work that could have been avoided. the fact is that an eithical professional, will do what is in they client's interest and get paid for it. and unethical professional will put his or her own interests first. just bc YOU feel qualified to do your own financial planning and investing, does not mean everyone is. and just bc you are willing to take the time to be educated about it, does not mean everyone is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.13.10, 07:27 AM Flag
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And do you realize that you and your family benefit from the tax revenues that my earnings generate. Can I opt to fund your benefits that my tax dollars fund? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 07:00 PM Flag
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One can get financial planning from a standalone financial planner or from someone (e.g. a broker) who has some training in that area. The former seems cleaner to me, and I'd expect to pay a fixed or hourly fee for the service. The latter would take a percentage of assets. If you don't know anyone, the standard recommendation is to get one who is a Certified Financial Planner(?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 08:16 PM Flag
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If you are looking for overall financial life direction and planning, I recommend Frank Astorino of Astorino Financial Group: http://www.astorinofinancialgroup.com. Yes, his office is in NJ but he is in NY all the time. He is one of the honest ones in the industry. If for any reason you don't click with him, you can check out the Certified Financial Planner web site to see profiles of others in your area, including fee structures: http://www.cfp.net/search/. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.12.10, 08:51 PM Flag
[ - ] So following the rash of toilet-training posts, here's mine. How do you get a boy (or girl, I suppose) to poop on the potty. He will pee, but will not poop (even though I have given incentives). 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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how old? Mine wouldn't get near the potty to do anything until he turned 3 yo, and then he started pooping in it (with the encouragement of incentives). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:51 PM Flag
[ - ] So 3 yo ds insists he's a baby and doesn't want to grow up ergo is resisting all things that he sees "big boys" do (potty training being foremost, but there are others.) I have tried the "well, if you're a baby then you can't [insert thing he likes to do here], but it's not working. Any suggestions? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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i love the term ergo. my dh uses it all the time. sorry, carry on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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do you have a younger kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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nope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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What's his temperment like? My oldest (also a DS) was like this. Potty training him was so, so, so hard. I thought I was doing everything wrong. In hindsight I realize it was really his temperment and personality. He is VERY slow to transition with most things--but especially anything major. He is 6 now. He potty trained @ 4 very quickly (not easily). He is much more independent now, though still very attached to me. I'd try to give it a little time & not be too hard on yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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well he's quite stubborn and definitely attached to me. He will pee on the potty but not poop. And he doesn't want to do anything else "big kid". You're right, though - just gotta go with the flow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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He sounds a lot like my DS. There are upsides to it. Once we potty trained it was done in under a week--night & day dry and 100% independent. And he's a sweet, sweet kid--he does a lot of art now and almost every picture has "mom" on it and some hearts. My second is very sweet, but not as into me and waaaaaay more independent and quick to grow up. She potty trained easily at 2, every transition has been easy for her. She's given me a lot of perspective about how different each kid can be. Try not to stress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:16 PM Flag
[ - ] So my dd got a hold of a bottle of Tylenol last thursday and managed to open it up and got at least one extra strength Tylenol down before I ran over and pulled them away. I tried to get her to throw up and nothing worked. We spent the entire day at the ER 2 blood panels and 1 8 oz syringe of charcoal later we were heading home. Before we left the ER doctor told us we should follow up with our pedi on Monday. So I went in on Monday to find out that one of my dd's enzyme levels in her liver (nothing to do with Tylenol) is out of whack, it is 4 1/2 time what it should be. So, now we have to go and get a liver panel done today and a bunch of other tests. FYI alkaline phosphatase is the out of control enzyme. I am a little freaked out and i can not look online anymore it is to freaking scary. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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what does this mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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It means we have to get a ton of blood work done and then wait a month to see if the levels change. If not we will have to do more extensive testing. Causes could be bone cancer, leukemia, blood disorders, etc. not good stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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it could also be nothing. Get her tested again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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We are. The first test was last thursday, then Monday and now we are going again today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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Try not to worry too much. I had several liver infections as a kid as side effects of some medication I was taking, and once the medication was stopped, they subsided. No doubt there is something simple that can be done for this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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Thanks, that is what we are hoping for. When you google and go to WebMD and see cancer, leukemia, etc it is always a little heart wrenching,. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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Never do medical searched online. My MIL committed suicide after she looked something up on WebMD and was convinced she had cancer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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I know it is the worst. I have to just trust and wait until we know something is wrong. otherwise it will drive me nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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also, try to remember that even if something is wrong, it is most likely very fixable and you have access to great medical care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Yeah, most defintiely. I have great ins. and great acceess to amazing medical centers. I am in LA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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OR above about liver infections and NEVER google symptoms. According to the web, I should not be able to have kids for about a thousand reasons, and I have one and another on the way. You are an individual, not a statistic, and so is dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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Yeah I know, unfortunetely I am googling an actual diagnosis, we are just hoping for a binine state of the enzyme. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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Still, it holds. If you google the diagnosis for what I have, I shouldn't have kids. Honestly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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I ate half a bottle of pills for a horse's heart when I was 17mos and was fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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except for that constant braying..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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lol, nope, totally fine although I'm sure my mom was completely freaked out. Grandmother left them on a low bench (not safety tops of course) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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good to know. Did you have to take the charcol, my dd actually took it like a champ. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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how old is your dd? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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16months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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just wondering - why the huge panic when she had 1 tylenol? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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I wasn't sure how many she actually got, I knew that she swallowed at least one, but better safe then sorry. Tylenol is extremely hazerdous to the Liver if od. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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but one would not have hurt her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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you are correct, this enzyme level has nothing to do with the Tylenol. We found out about it because of the blood work that was done that this was caught. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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why do you say it is not related to the tylenol? overdose of tylenol does mess up your liver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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Not this sppecific enzyme. We have already had that ruled out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:54 PM Flag
[ - ] DC Moms-- are there any good local sites for DC parents? That might discuss schools etc like NY schools are discussed on UB? We are thinking of relocating to DC or suburbs and need to do some research on good family areas with good commutes into the city. TIA 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Washington D.C. 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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I am looking for exactly the same thing. Used to live in DC if I can be of any help but we are thinking of moving there again and I know nothing about schools. Do know hoods though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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dc urban moms - subscribe at: http://mailman.dcurbanmom.com/mailman/listinfo.cgi/dc-urban-moms-list [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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http://mailman.dcurbanmom.com/mailman/listinfo.cgi/dc-urban-moms-list [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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Yes - DC Urban Moms. Subscribe at http://mailman.dcurbanmom.com/mailman/listinfo.cgi/dc-urban-moms-list [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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Wow, thanks all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I just need to talk about this. Does anyone else have a DH who is just ridiculous about money? We are not poor, but not wealthy (HHI around $130K), have a fine lifestyle, etc. Due to several recent deaths in the family, we have about $250K in various accounts (brokerage, IRAs, etc) and DH is just awful about dealing with it. It's like pulling teeth to even get him to discuss investing, etc. and he acts like a fool, which he is not, when faced with a form or something. He was raised not to make a big thing of money, which I love about him, but it seems to mean that he basically can't deal with even being responsible about it (not spending--he's fine there). It's so disappointing to me, and makes me feel like I'm some kind of freak that I want to invest what we have well in order to send dcs to school, etc. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:29 PM Flag
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i am not sure what you are saying? he doesnt want to do anything with the money? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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Sorry--what I mean is that he is unable to participate in any decisions about what to do with it, and since it belongs to both of us, it's been sitting there for ages b/c I can't do anything without him. I just find this so weird and disappointing. It's like he's so guilty we have some money he has to pretend we don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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he just wants it in the bank? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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I don't know. He just wants to not talk about it, which is idiotic. If we were really wealthy it would be one thing, but this is basically all the money we're ever going to have for dcs school, etc. and I think we should be smart with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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would he meet with a financial planner? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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we did this, but then when it came time to actually put the plan into action, he couldn't deal (met 6 months ago and still nothing has been done). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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You CAN make decisions about joint money without him. You can say "I am meeting with a financial planner and we are going to make a plan about the money. I'd prefer for you to participate, but if you choose not to, I'll go forward and make the best decisions I can on my own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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Well, I don't think he'd go for that. He'd probably come along and then act mortified and dumb, which is so embarrasing for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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then find a financial planner that you are comfortable with and discuss this issue in advance. really, they see people at their worst - what's embarassing to you is not so much to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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see above. we did it once and.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Potty training question: 3 y/o still gets 4 m&m's when he poops on the potty (been a month). How/when do I wean him from the m&m's???? He's so excited about them still. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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keep at it for another month, then tell him if he keeps going for 1 week he can pick out a toy or something at the store, then end the rewards [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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if it's only been a month, I might let it go a little longer. 4 m&m's per poop isn't going to doom him to a life of junk food. We stopped giving m&m's by appealing to dd's desire to be a 'big girl'-- only kids who are learning have treats after potty, and you're such a big girl now you don't need that, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:31 PM Flag
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Cool. Thanks for the advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Hey. How's the vibe today? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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great, now that you're here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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