UrbanBaby

07.09.08, 12:29 PM General Topics
10 replies

I just need to talk about this. Does anyone else have a DH who is just ridiculous about money? We are not poor, but not wealthy (HHI around $130K), have a fine lifestyle, etc. Due to several recent deaths in the family, we have about $250K in various accounts (brokerage, IRAs, etc) and DH is just awful about dealing with it. It's like pulling teeth to even get him to discuss investing, etc. and he acts like a fool, which he is not, when faced with a form or something. He was raised not to make a big thing of money, which I love about him, but it seems to mean that he basically can't deal with even being responsible about it (not spending--he's fine there). It's so disappointing to me, and makes me feel like I'm some kind of freak that I want to invest what we have well in order to send dcs to school, etc. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 12:29 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

i am not sure what you are saying? he doesnt want to do anything with the money? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:31 PM Flag

Sorry--what I mean is that he is unable to participate in any decisions about what to do with it, and since it belongs to both of us, it's been sitting there for ages b/c I can't do anything without him. I just find this so weird and disappointing. It's like he's so guilty we have some money he has to pretend we don't. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag

he just wants it in the bank? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:33 PM Flag

I don't know. He just wants to not talk about it, which is idiotic. If we were really wealthy it would be one thing, but this is basically all the money we're ever going to have for dcs school, etc. and I think we should be smart with it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:34 PM Flag

would he meet with a financial planner? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag

we did this, but then when it came time to actually put the plan into action, he couldn't deal (met 6 months ago and still nothing has been done). [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag

You CAN make decisions about joint money without him. You can say "I am meeting with a financial planner and we are going to make a plan about the money. I'd prefer for you to participate, but if you choose not to, I'll go forward and make the best decisions I can on my own. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:35 PM Flag

Well, I don't think he'd go for that. He'd probably come along and then act mortified and dumb, which is so embarrasing for me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:37 PM Flag

then find a financial planner that you are comfortable with and discuss this issue in advance. really, they see people at their worst - what's embarassing to you is not so much to them. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag

see above. we did it once and.... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:38 PM Flag