UrbanBaby

07.09.08, 12:06 PM New York City
6 replies

clique post got me thinking...my 4 YO DS is not social with his own age group. Loves older kids, etc. I'm finding it difficult to set up playdates because he is really reluctant and unengaged. My ped told me to relax that there is too much pressure to socialize our kids early on but I feel like everyone else already has friends and he'll be left out in coming years. Am I being a micro-mom? Should I let it go or insist? Sigh. TIA [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 07.09.08, 12:06 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

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UrbanBaby Support

Give it time, he'll come around. My oldest was like that--incredibly slow to warm and not social at all. The year he turned 5 he went to a very low-key, outdoorsy summer camp and made his first friend. It was so cute. Then he started kinder, had a totally awesome teacher & a nice bunch of kids in the class. He ended up being very well-liked by his peers and having playdates. He's back @ that camp again now and has made another good friend. It just takes time. My DD is 2 and already has a good friend and meets new friends everywhere she goes--totally different personality. Both are okay. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:13 PM Flag

op: Thanks for your post. I get so heavy hearted for him sometimes. I know I just have to truust who he is and accept that he may never be very social, but a couple of friends would be nice... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:21 PM Flag

He will have his circle of friends. Don't worry about it. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:27 PM Flag

Hang in there. He's so young. I know it's hard when you see friend's kids out there socializing and he's hanging back, but there is really hope. DS barely spoke through all of preschool. The different between him at 4 and now at 6 is so huge. His kinder teacher adored him, he got excellent feedback and he is really popular with the other kids. Your little guy will get there in his own way. I have a friend w/ a similar little guy who is 2.5 (my dd's age) and I keep reassuring her--her boy sticks right by her side, doesn't talk much or socialize out in the world. And my dd is overy there making friends w/ everyone, chatting up the kids & grown ups, singing and crowing and carrying on. If I had seen her when DS was that age I would have been dismayed for him. But not I can see there are so many ways for them to be social and happy. He'll be fine. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:29 PM Flag

. . . have dismayed of DS ever managing w/ friends, but he's really totally fine. He's never going to be as outgoing as DD or some other kids, but he's funny and smart and sweet and has friends now. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:30 PM Flag

op: Thanks, I'm crying now ( in a good way). You have both been really sweet. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:33 PM Flag