• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Ever tried to sell a house without an agent (not in NYC)? We need to put our house on the market soon (unexpected move) and DH doesn't want to use an agent. I'm trying to convince him otherwise. Thoughts? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:58 AM Flag
»
in this market it is a ridiculous idea [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:01 AM Flag
»
how long have you lived in the house? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:01 AM Flag
»
4 years [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:11 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:18 AM Flag
»
i've read this too. we've done about 30K in kitchen and bathroom renovations and replaced the roofs (main house and guest house). properties in our nabe have not experienced a decrease in value - house next door sold in 6 days recently. i think we can sell it relatively quickly with an agent but if we try to do it ourselves it will be a disaster. i just don't want to insist we use an agent and then hear dh complain that we could've done it ourselves for the next four years so I'm trying to find a way to make him understand why we need one. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:21 AM Flag
»
^^ we are in an old neighborhood in atlanta fwiw [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:22 AM Flag
»
You live in a family-sized home but you want to sell right before school starts and families that need to move have already done it. So who are your other sets of Buyers? How will you reach them without an agent? Aside from the 2.5-3% you will save in commission what hit will you take on the Sales side in terms of $$ (Realtors almost always exceed their commission in increased sale price). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:25 AM Flag
»
thanks. i will tell him this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:29 AM Flag
[ - ] Miscarried last week and cannot break out of this funk. How long until i'm back to my normal self? The only thing that keeps me smiling these days is my 13mo old dd. anyone btdt that can offer some advice? I'm dying to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometime soon. I'm sick of crying! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:56 AM Flag
»
a week is not that long. let yourself grieve and be sad and you will come out the other side soon. and keep looking at your beautiful dd! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:06 AM Flag
»
you are not only grieving for your child but also for you lost illusions. Until one has lost a pg it never seems possible and since you already have a db you know exactly how much you really lost so it is a double whammy. I am sorry for your loss. I had 3 m/cs and none were as diff as the 1st because after that I tried not to "believe" in the baby till it was safe. However, I did go on to have 2 more dbs after so do not give up hope. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:14 AM Flag
»
op: thank you. thats good advice. i keep saying "i'll feel better when..."...my hormones go back to nomal...i get my period, i get pregnant again, etc...probably not the healthiest attitude...when did you start to feel like yourself again? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:17 AM Flag
»
Honestly? Not for a long time. But I know for me it was also such a knock to my self identity - up till then I'd prided myself on being the ultimate "earth mother". I'd gotten pg twice at the first try & was a sahm so it never occurred to me that anything could go wrong. It just knocked the stuffing out of me. Of course after, every 2nd woman told me "of that happened to me too" [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:25 AM Flag
»
wow, i feel the SAME way. although, i feel very alone since none of my friends have had mc's so there's no one to tell me, "hey, i've been there"...i know all the "right" things to feel: it wasnt meant to be, this is natures way of taking care of something that wasn't healthy, etc...i feel like i need to just wake up one day and say "you know, my life is pretty good...we'll get thru this...I'll get pg again and go on have a healthy baby" but for now i just keep waking up and remembering that i'm no longer pregnant. and thats a pretty sad way to start the day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:31 AM Flag
»
don't try & make yourself feel what you "should" feel. You feel what you feel & you will get past it. The important thing is to focus on what you do have right now - your beautiful db. Just spend time with her & you will eventually feel better. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I need help/advice. DH and I seperated six months ago and started therapy. But it's a ridiculous sort of seperation. He leaves me alone with kids two nights (he stays with friend in city). The other nights he comes home and puts DS to bed (two kids, ages 2 and 9mo). He spends the weekends at house too. For a while stopped sleeping in bed but then told me he was trying to take steps to come back and so wanted to sleep in bed. We had major sex probs for many years and I was very depressed after my dad died. Now I am so angry at DH for abandoning me, basically that I am starting to question if I want to be with him. He tells me he loves me all the time and sends me romantic texts. I am like, if you love me, why do you need to spend five nights a week away from me? I wonder if he really wants to be a DH. It's like he likes the idea of it, the house in the burbs, but not the reality of it. He says the schedule we have "works for him." I dont know how much longer I can do this for and I am starting to feel so angry all the time. Therapy doesnt seem to be helping. Any advice? Whenever we talk ultamatums he gets uber defensive. Please help me with your wisdom. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 AM Flag
»
If you still love him, do everything you can to make it work. You have young dc and have lost a parent, huge stressors in your life. STick with the therapy--both couples and individual if you can afford it. He did NOT abandon you. You are separated and it sounds like he is very much a part of your dc's life and still wants to be a part of yours. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:58 AM Flag
»
I agree. He really is not abandoning you - he's there and trying via therapy, etc. and spending time with kids. You have to think about it -- if you can make it through this some how it would probably be worth it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:03 AM Flag
»
The fact is that no one person can fulfill all your needs. You need to modify your expectations of your spouse. We all do. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:19 AM Flag
»
No experience of this but I can see he has the perfect situation a family life when he want it and freedom when he wants it. This doesn't seem to have any advantages for you. Maybe you need a proper separation so you have a chance to work out how you really feel. Could you go away for a week or two for a break? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:58 AM Flag
»
So are you having sex? Were the sex problems yours or his? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:02 AM Flag
»
You need to have your own night out and staying with a friend while he does everything . [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:18 AM Flag
»
what a mess! in my view you're either "in" or "out" none of this in between business. What does your therapist say? are you a sahm? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:22 AM Flag
»
Have him come home, now. Tell him you want this work (even if you don't/arent't sure...fake it). Hire a babysitter for every single week once per week, for a date night, just the two of you...this is cheaper than divorce and worth every penny.....I'm serious.....and probabably more useful than therapy, at this point. I saw how separation did not help my bro and sil....being together and making a decision to be married, nnot divorced, has been more effective, even if things are not perfect. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:31 AM Flag
»
^^^btw, you are making yourself think that you are "abandandoned" and dh does not perceive it this way. Move from this language and being emotional and depressed. Be active. "DH, it is time for us to be a couple and a family again. I need you in my life and I need you to be at home. I have a sitter for us on Friday nights so we can just have fun and go to the movies instead of hashing out our wounds. I've told our therapist that we are taking a break. I've made room for you in our evenings and at the dinner table and in our bed and at the breakfast table." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:37 AM Flag
»
^^^^btw, my guess is that he hates commuting and doesn't want a suburban lifestyle atthis point, which doesn't mean he doesn't want you...don't personalize it. Dealing with that is your next step. And, my guess is he doesn't believe your "ultimatums" or he woudl either move home or the two of you would be in divorce proceeedings. Don't give an ultimatum on which you won't follow-through. Don't give any. But if he won't move home in thirty days, serve him with papers for divorce (worked for my sil). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:40 AM Flag
»
I'm sorry, I have to correct you since this is a pet peeve -- sepArate. And I'm sorry about what you're going through. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 08:04 AM Flag
[ - ] What age were dc when you started letting them take a bath without you being in the room? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
New York City 07.09.08, 06:54 AM Flag
»
At 2.5yo my son slipped over in a pool that was only a few inches deep and I was amazed that he couldn't get himself out of the water and would have drowned if we hadn't seen it happen. I will not leave him unattended yet now 2.7yo [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 AM Flag
»
6? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:05 AM Flag
»
OP: ds is 5, that is why I'm wondering. I've begun doing a few things around the apartment and checking in on him, but it still makes me a little nervous. Just wondering if there is a consensus. I think I remember taking a bath by myself at that age, once I started school. He will start K in the fall. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:42 AM Flag
»
ds is now 6 and can take a bath and shower by himself. It's great. I wouldn't let him before 5 1/2 though. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:45 AM Flag
»
thanks. Sounds like I'm on track, then. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 08:05 AM Flag
»
I figure if he can swim, he's ok in the tub. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 08:09 AM Flag
[ - ] What are great books for a 4 yo DS? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:52 AM Flag
[ - ] my almost 22 yo dd has started to walk on her toes quite a bit. She shows no other signs of any other developmental delays/issues and the doctors says not to worry about it now as long as it does not persist long term. She runs on flat feet and runs well. I've been told it is just a phase/she'll grow out of it. Thoughts? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:50 AM Flag
»
ours did that, too. just a phase [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:52 AM Flag
»
If she can walk/run on flat feet sometimes then she probably just likes the feeling of walking on tip toe. If the ped isn't concerned it doesn't sound like you have any reason to worry. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:53 AM Flag
»
Make sure you've had her feet measured correctly. Is this happening more when she's wearing shoes? Mine went through this and I discovered her feet had grown. It started whe wearing shoes that "fit just right" and carried over to her barefoot style. We got some new,properly fitting shoes and kept barefoot walking to a minimum; The tiptoe walking was resolved in a week or 2. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:03 AM Flag
»
just be glad she's finally walking, now she can date and get out of the house! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:50 AM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have an electronic roach/pest thing? Thinking of getting one, since a recent few stray roaches has made us very queasy. We've living in our apt. 7 years and hardly ever seen one - might be the humidity, might be nearby construction but we need to do something asap. TIA for any advice on those plug-in deals. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
New York City 07.09.08, 06:47 AM Flag
»
ime, they do not work. Probably is the construction. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 AM Flag
»
I got one 3 weeks ago. We found 7 dead roaches in our apt. when we returned from our trip [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:11 AM Flag
»
little roaches or the big water bugs? in either case, you and your building need to get an exterminator in asap. Construction stirs thingsup and yu don't want them nesting in your basement [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:14 AM Flag
»
you mean like one of those high-pitch sound things? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:18 AM Flag
»
sprinkle boric acid (from the drugstore) around the corners of the house - helps keep them out [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Just need to complain... Why am i suddenly feeling that I want to own a house? (never had one-never really cared) Why do i now at 37 wish I had more money? I am sick of budgeting etc.. I also want to see my baby more than I do. 2 hrs per night Mon-Fri is not enough. I know these things are not a big deal in the grand scheme of life, just weird how all of a sudden I want these things. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Newborn 07.09.08, 06:46 AM Flag
»
I am kind of like that too. I also just really want nice furniture. I am upsetting my husband with it I think. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:49 AM Flag
»
-- also 37. It's like 40 is coming. I work 4 days so I am almost okay with my work/mom balance though. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:50 AM Flag
»
exactly - it is a little scary. I feel like it is coming so quickly. I am also pondering a 2nd db which in my particular case has its own challenges. Oh and that is funny cause I really want new furniture too!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:52 AM Flag
»
Me too. I feel like I was 28/29 three years ago. I am about to ttc for #2, although I feel kind of old for that. Then I am also a level behind where I *should be* at work. Seriously though, my DH and DD are healthy and wonderful. In my twenties I was more "on track" but dating and dating and getting depressed. I need to get it together. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:01 AM Flag
»
Typical mid life crisis. Men rush out for sports cars, affairs etc women want security and comfort. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:51 AM Flag
»
OMG I never looked at it that way! kind of funny actually :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:53 AM Flag
»
Yeah sorry. After I posted that I realized it was a bit harsh. No offense intended. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:54 AM Flag
»
no -not harsh - I just never saw it that way but I think you may be onto something [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 AM Flag
»
OR from above. I don't think that's harsh at all, it's probably what's going on. You are taking stock of what you dreamed of and comparing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:59 AM Flag
[ - ] i need to buy sheets for my dd's newly converted crib to todder bed. will a twin flat sheet fit as a top sheet, or is there such a thing as a toddler bed flat sheet? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:38 AM Flag
»
if it's a converted crib why not use the crib sheet? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:42 AM Flag
»
i will...as the fitted sheet. but I'd like a flat sheet on top. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:43 AM Flag
»
I know you can get them but I bought mine in the UK so have no idea where to look over here. A twin sheet would be big but would work. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:45 AM Flag
»
I think Ikea has them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:25 AM Flag
[ - ] can anyone recommend a website for invitations? they would be for my dh's 40th birthday party. thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:38 AM Flag
»
evite.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:53 AM Flag
»
sorry, i wasn't clear. i want to order printed invitations online. any websites for that? i want the kind where i will supply the text and they will send me the complete invitation, not the fill-in-the-blank kind you have to do on your printer. thanks again. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:55 AM Flag
»
chelseapaper.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:16 AM Flag
»
Sorry, I just checked the site for the first time in years -- it seems they must have been bought by papyrus. Too bad. They had lots of cute stuff & were inexpensive and fast. Maybe Papyrus is the same? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:17 AM Flag
»
i'll check out papyrus, thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone here who got a 100% mortgage in 2008 with not the highest credit scores? Please tell. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Toddler 07.09.08, 06:33 AM Flag
»
ain't gonna happen, sorry [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:52 AM Flag
»
op -- requesting no snark. thank you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:03 AM Flag
»
Not trying to be snarky but I think its a touch silly to expect this when you cannot open a newspaper or turn on the t.v. without hearing about the credit issues in the housing market - somehow you thought this wouldn't affect you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:20 AM Flag
»
I hardly even tried for a mortgage and considered ourselves lifelong renters but we are making 110k while people around us are getting bailed out for big expensive places when we want a place that costs 230k at the most--doesn't sound crazy to me. If it's not possible then certainly I will wait. Also, news is being reported and lending standards are changing as a whole and housing sales are down as a trend but people are still getting lent money and are still buying houses. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 09:19 AM Flag
»
Yes they are but generally banks want you to put at least 20% down these days, maybe you can get away with 10% somewhere but 100% financing is a dying breed given the uncertainty of the housing market. Feel free to call and ask a mortgage broker but I would not hold out much hope. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 09:23 AM Flag
»
I believe 10% down is the best you're going to be able to do, and with good reason. Are you thinking it's now time to buy because the market is crap? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 11:01 AM Flag
»
100% mortgages do not exist anymore [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 11:02 AM Flag
[ - ] DS is going into 1st grade. Taking ERB next week for 2009 admit. He has never taken a standardized test before and school does no prep at all. Is there something I should be doing to make sure he is familiar with the types of questions? Or is it like an IQ test and prep doesn't help? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 07.09.08, 06:32 AM Flag
»
It is an IQ test (thought not a complete one). I don't know if you can prep. I didn't prep dc and prek doesn't do any prepping at all and dc did fine. However, Brainquest is a good game. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:41 AM Flag
»
Have him follow multi-step directions, ex: ask him to get the pencil, then write his name. Make shapes with cubes and have him copy the shape. He should know basic shapes, circle, square, rectangle, triangle, diamond. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:44 AM Flag
»
OP: thanks both. All descriptions are really helpful for me as I am fairly clueless. These are good starting points. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:48 AM Flag
»
use this url to read more https://online.epocrates.com/u/10a509 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:49 AM Flag
»
There are also workbooks for colors and shapes, sequencing and memory etc. So DS get's used to following directions [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:56 AM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:14 AM Flag
»
Make sure they eat so they have energy to finish the test. Have them well rested and tell them what to expect. They will be doing "special work". A teacher wants to know how smart 5 year olds are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone taken Clindamycin while breastfeeding? Do you think its safe? Websites say it is transferred through breastmilk. NOt sure what to do as I have a major infection (tooth) - very painful and am allergic to a lot of different antibiotics!! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:30 AM Flag
»
Tricky. Unless I was sure it was safe (and I have no idea) I would not take it while breastfeeding BUT you do need to treat your infection. Can you pump and discard your milk to keep your supply up but give formula for a few days. GL. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Favor help: filling cosmetic bags with a 7 inch emery board; customized lip gloss; wedding named nail polish. What else can I place in the bags to help fill them up a bit but still keep them items useful for ALL? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:18 AM Flag
»
Cute mini pack of kleenex (the patterned kind), mini tube of moisturizer [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:20 AM Flag
»
nail polish remover pads, clear mascara (good for keeping brows in line!) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:20 AM Flag
»
travel size q-tips or cotton balls, (in addition to the above ideas) sample size waterproof mascara from Prescriptives (or wherever you buy your make-up where a sale girl will give you stuff), hand cream or foot cream (love aveda's foot cream), mini tube of aquaphor [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 07:27 AM Flag
[ - ] How long is whole milk in a baby bottle good for? I know you aren't supposed to drink formula after an hour - what a/b milk? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Newborn 07.09.08, 06:13 AM Flag
»
BTW that formula rule was invented by the formula companies so you'll use more formula. Milk is fine for awhile. If in doubt, heat and cool. no need to waste. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:25 AM Flag
»
I usually give it a day; I put bottle in fridge after dd has spent a few minutes with it. When in doubt, I sniff it. But usually I put a few oz in the bottle in the morning and wash everything out in the evening. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.09.08, 06:43 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions