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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What is the going rate for a live-in nanny in the city? I'm assuming that you pay by the week. What about time off? Also what about full-time nanny. Is it by the week, or hour and what is the going rate? Thanks!! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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going rate is the same -- $600 for one child, $750 for two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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I pay my live - in $600 for one child - Manhattan UWS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.08, 06:35 PM Flag
[ - ] looking for inexpensive but good (not too heavy or clumsy) double stroller 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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oxymoron. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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We bought a Jeep double for $80 delivered. It's not light but it is our folding vacation stroller. It's been great so far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone regret the age spread betwn their dbs and if so, that is that spread? What do you think would have been better? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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2.7. i had wanted them further apart. not sure if it would have been better or worse but older dd is definitely having a hard time with it. i suspect its more her personality than her age, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:07 AM Flag
[ - ] How much annual increase in salary to you give your nanny? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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$1/hour/child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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oh please. That's absurd. At that rate, your nanny will be too expensive after only a couple of years! That's fine when you only have one child, but once you have two or three, and after giving raises for the extra child when they are born, you will end up paying $1000 after only a few years! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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I started my nanny at $12/hour for one dc. After a year and another baby went up to $14. Next year we went only to $15 and we'll stay there just increasing bonus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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That makes sense. but some nannies really do want a raise every year and if you have a nanny who thinks that way, you are better off raising $25 each year (and $50 for a new baby) than raising $100 each year with two kids, as the OR suggested, and then you can't raise anymore after a couple of years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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I am or... That is true, but if you have a nanny paid hourly then you need to work it out differently [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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np: Very few nannies get raises every year after the first 3-4, unless you have a lot of kids. Once kids hit school-age the hours are less so there is just no way to justify a raise, in fact less hours for the same money is kind of a raise too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:19 AM Flag
[ - ] looking for kids bedding. Not pottery Barn or Garnet Hill, etc. Something a little different. Any tips for sites? Many TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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Land of Nod? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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What is your style and is it for a boy or girl? I have a two year old and I am decorating her room with normal bedding and furniture so it blends with my house. The toys and art make it a kids room anyway. I love Pine Cone Hill. I think many Ralph Lauren patterns work for boys or girls. Macy's has a lot of options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:09 AM Flag
[ - ] whats the going rate for a wedding gift these days. Its for a first cousin. Money or gift? How much $$? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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I always thought you gave what you could afford. A wedding invitation isn't a ticket to be purchased. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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gift, and whatever you can afford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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If you really want an idea on how much $ to give, I usually go by how much it cost to pay for my meal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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how would she know this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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you can guess based on where/when the wedding is. My wedding at the Yale Club was $160/pp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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whatever you can afford. where is the wedding being held? is there a predominant ethnicity? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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Big close Jewish family - being held at an abigail kirsch place on a saturday night [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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I would give a gift around $200 if you can afford it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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np-We gave dh's cousin $500, but they invited our 2 dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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everyone is different. If a very close cousin or friend and you can afford, give more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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not familiar with Jewish customs...but my Southern WASP family gave gifts and would have thought money was crass. Everyone from dh's Polish Catholic family from Ohio gave money. I would give what you can afford, between $100 and $200. But we had distant relatives who were elderly and probably on a fixed income give as little as $10...it's the thought that counts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone use worksheets or send DC to a camp with academic review over the summer? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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please tell me you are kidding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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lolol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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how old? we did summer tutoring for dd for 2 or 3 years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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^^^after 3rd and 5th grades [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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at a center or private tutoring? Any recs? Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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private. I got recs from her teachers before school was out. She'll be going into 10th grade, so I don't think my recs would be very current. We were dealing with specific learning issues though. One of her tutors was a reading specialist who worked at an elementary school (not dd's, they aren't allowed to tutor students from their own school for some reason). The other was the principal of a school for kids with learning differences, Churchill, I think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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But that's different since she had LDs. How is it going in high school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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she was really diagnosed with LD, because it wasn't bad enough that she was falling behind. It's just that her performance in certain areas was far below what it was in other areas. The tutors just sort of gave her a little boost. By the end of 4th grade, her reading was where it should have been. and by the end of 6th grade, her math was there too. She's been on honor roll for 4 years straight, and last year, she made honor roll with distinction, meaning her average was above 95. I think of her issues as speed bumps, they were really developmental more than anything and the tutoring helped with self-esteem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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^^^she WASN'T... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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No, but we are doing SCORE for 1hour sessions after day camp 2 days a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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How old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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7 and 10 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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Why? What's the point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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Short answer- to give older dc a little more prep for rigorous middle school especially in math, and younger dc likes doing it and needs to tag along anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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Does older dc like doing this in the summer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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She doesn't love it, but we don't make a big deal out of it, and it will help decrease academic anxiety in September. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:24 AM Flag
[ - ] I signed my 4 y.o. up for the erbs. She is pretty bad with separation in new situations. Will that affect her score or is that something they're used to? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.22.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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i am watching this as i am worried about it, too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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they are used to it. My dd won't talk to people she doesn't know and the erb is almost entirely an oral test. I was really worried. But they tester stayed with us in the waiting room for a long time until my dd was ready to talk to her and it all went perfectly well (96/96/95 -- FC school) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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My dd is similar - she had no problem going with tester, but would not verbally answer questions at first. The tester noted that her verbal skills are probably higher than reflected in the test due to her reticence to speak at first. She got a high score overall & we got fc. GL, op try not to stress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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Don't worry. Even my dd who is totally anti-social did very well. She is 7 now and still won't separate. She was attached to my hips 24/7 for the first 4 yrs of her life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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They mention how the child separated in the report. Schools will look at this and separation for playdate. I thought my outgoing kid separated well (as usual--had never had issues) and tester wrote that dd "hesitated" but went along with her. Not what I saw. Aced the test, though (which matters more), and got into fc tt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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Does she separate better from DH, or babysitter? If so, send them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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Yes, but I don't think that would work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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np Why? Everything your kid does/says is in that report, and if she freaks, all the details will be noted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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I guess I could try it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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My dd took it at 3 & had to go back to the office 3 times before she would go into the room with the tester. She got a very high score & absolutely nothing was mentioned on the report about the previous attempts. The director assured me they were used to this & deal with it all the time. One tip - don't take her yourself - have a trusted friend take her who she won't mind separating from & go ahead & tell her she will go to ToysRUs after, the testers all know anyway! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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The Toys R Us thing is fine--if you don't have a problem with that being written in the report. Everything your kid says and does will be noted. Specific statements my child made were written out verbatim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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Believe me, after 3 times of going and 3 times of her not going in I had many discussions with the director about how to get her to separate and it was HER suggestion of a "special treat" afterwards. As she said, most if not all parents offer a reward after the test. And, for the record, there was no mention of a promised trip to ToysRUs in the report. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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Wow. Guess I got off easy with that muffin at Starbucks beforehand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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Does her preschool offer the ERB? If so, she'll probably separate much easier there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 02:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Tips for dealing with my whiny 4 yo ds? Also, he recently stopped wanting to go to school. He used to love to go. It's a lovely sweet school and I don't think he's getting bullied or anything. What's up with that? Is this a stage kids commonly go through? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Is he in school over the Summer? Try and ask why not like school? It is probably something small and isolated. Ask do you like your friends? Your teachers? Recess? Lunch? etc and then hopefully he will see how much he likes or let you know what is bothering him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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It's camp, but it's in his regular school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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REmember counselors are not teachers. Camp has much less structure than school, could be reacting to these issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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Actually, the counselors at his camp are the teachers from the school year. And the camp is pretty similar to school, only it seems a lot more fun (although it now has a new nap component which ds may not like). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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yes, it can be a stage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:27 AM Flag
[ - ] 9 month old dd got her little leg caught between the bars of the crib last night..we took the bumpers off last week b/c she can stand in her crib and we were told that she might use them to climb out of the crib. but now we put them back on...do we really need to worry about her climbing out at this stage? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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My 9mo stands in the crib and if he had bumpers there would be a small risk of him flipping out. I've never used bumpers with my kids and they very rarely got stuck and it never caused problems when it did happen. Maybe try again without the bumper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:57 AM Flag
[ - ] I am a horrible, horrible mom. Told my two quarreling kids that if they don't stop the fighting/bickering that it could lead to splitting the family up. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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wow... did they care? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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The older started tearing up. I'm awful. I told them it's not going to happen...that the point is that we need to work through problems and that's what sibs need to do instead of calling each other stupid all the time. Still feel awful about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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that's what siblings do....didn't you fight with your sibs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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not good. wait till things settle down and tell them you were wrong to say said that and you didn't mean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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Well that's a bluff that's pretty easy for them to call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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dont beat yourself up - your post made me laugh. i caught my a friend telling her nephew this weekend that if he drank pool water he would die then she asked him if he wanted to die...kids was 3 1/2..we all say crazy things sometimes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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I told my 2 yo that if he didn't stop trying to pick-up his newborn brother he would have to live somewhere else. I'm just hoping he doesn't remember if not i guess it will give him good therapy material [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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well, my dh's grandfather was sent to live in an orphanage by his parents when they had a new baby, for 4 years... nothing could be worse than that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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people just dont think my dh was sent to live with his grandparents for 5 yrs after he was born b/c parents couldn't handle 2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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that's better than an orphanage at least! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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grandparents lived in India [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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yeah, that's not so good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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^^^ but not uncommon in a lot of cultures. Dh's colleague's son (now 3) has lived with his grandparents for most of the last 2 years. in Singapore. His parents live in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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my oldest sister was sent to live with her grandmother when she was 2 after her mother died. My father couldn't deal with being a single parent while finishing his residency and setting up private practice. She didn't come back to live with my/her dad until after he had remarried, 3 years later. I think my mother was already pregnant with my elder sister by then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:51 AM Flag
[ - ] No flames please but does anyone feel like they push their kids too much? I have my DS doing worksheets this summer, and he tells me he needs a break. 3rd grade. Camp now and no extra activities but during school year has music and a sport and we work together on extra math/reading. I'm trying to instill discipline and hard work early. But how much is too much? 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.22.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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worksheets during the summer - ridiculous unless he needs extra help. if he's doing fine in school, i'd let it go. summer vacation is called vacation for a reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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ita - unless he is well behind at school give him some time to relax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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Worksheets in the summer? That's not cool. I used to do them on my own, but my mom would just leave them out for me to voluntarily pick up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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He is right. Kids need a break. Leave him alone. Let him experience boredom - will help build creativity and imagination. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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ita. I used to love creative play in the summer when I was that age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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worksheets in the summer if he doesn't want to do them are too much. Going to the library to pick out books he wants to read, then encouraging him to read them is fine, but no need to give him more work, he will end up resenting it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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you do push your son too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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He's going to burn out and rebel by the time he's a teenager. That's what I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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We work 15 min every day with our going-into-k dc. I figure that this is pretty much what will be expected of her in kindergarten, and I don't want Sept. to be a shock or her to hate school. It's not a big deal - she reads us 2 books plus we do some math card games. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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that is very different from making a child do worksheets. I'm sure if she didnt' want to do it one day you wouldn't force it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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I guess my point is that of course kids want to have fun every second of the summer, but I don't think it's bad to have them focus on something academic for 15 minutes of the day, plus free reading. Teachers say the summer math slide is a major problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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NP: I agree. 15 minutes in a day otherwise filled with plenty of fun kids stuff is not the end of the world. And you're right, the summer math slide IS a big problem for a lot of kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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ITA, but making them do worksheets every day isn't necessary. engange them in things like your daily shopping to help with math, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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your dd is going into K. How could there be a summer math slide? Plus I don't remember going through any math slide over the summer, and I was a stellar math student. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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I'm not worried about dd's summer math slide! I'm just saying that I don't think it's bad to have dc focus on academic skills 15 min a day, one way or another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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If dc likes it, then fine. But if dc resents it what a recipe for disaster. My dd is beat after all day camp, and reading is the only thing she is up for during the week. I'd never push her into worksheets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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NP: I think that is the point- if your dc likes it. There are some kids, mine included who like doing worksheets. If your dc is not one of those, I wouldn't push it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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OP said her ds is asking for a break. She should give it to him no question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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that's what going to the library and taking out books is for [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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or going to a museum. What the hell is OR thinking? Is this for real? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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did you read her post? I hope she is just kidding but her kid is going to K next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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you don't have much confidence in your child, eh? Do you really think your kid will suffer in K if you don't read books and do math cards every day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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You are nuts lady. She is going into K not 9th grade. Relax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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OMG. Leave him the freak alone. Especially since he has told you specifically to leave him alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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I call this one fake. She is just trying to push some buttons here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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This just in. A woman in Chile beat her dd to death b/c she wouldn't do homework. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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http://www.nytimes.com/reuters/world/international-chile-killing.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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I think it's good to keep up skills learned during the school year--especially in reading and math. I would just try to keep it on the lighter side and not for too long. This makes sense to me for a child entering 3rd grade--not for a child entering K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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Her son told her that he needs a break. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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You sound like a horrible mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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hey, she said no flames. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Not to beat a dead horse but I now UB purely out of habit. Cannot recall the last time there was a great heated thread, with real smart back and forth or simply a great belly laugh post. They really screwed it up with the redesign. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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i think it's kind of getting back to normal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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np: I don't agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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well it's at least getting more traffic than it was, or more people are responding to posts anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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Me neither. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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I know, I miss the old UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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I think it would help if people would just post to one board, like old UB. Clearly, the new management isn't going to change this, but I think the present option to post to up to 3 boards dilutes the material [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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I've had some pretty major fights here lately [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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about schools maybe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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It's all about schools. It' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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^^^ It's pretty dull. Doesn't anyone have anything else to discuss? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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No, people are just idiots. The design is great, but people are provincial. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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It's not the design. I can get used to design. There's no fire here anymore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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op: Exactly, ITTTA. But I attribute it to the redesign. That day forever changed the vibe for the worse. And yes, provincial is the dominant vibe now. Really sucks the air out of this place. It used to be my little special place - now, its all white noise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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Fire? I've been on UB for so many years now and I just don't see much difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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Really? It doesn't even move. There was so much activity before. In a way it was annoying because you'd post and then it would be buried three pages down but now you can hit refresh for ten minutes and it's the same posts. There was much more energy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:16 AM Flag
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the design is not great, you don't get any instant interaction like you used to on old UB. Now it's a message board, with same threads being active for days and sometimes weeks. Totally different thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:47 AM Flag
[ - ] 2yo is in a nanny share with a 2.5yo - both families pay a combined $700/week to nanny. we have a baby due in october. can we add baby to the mix? how much more should we offer to pay? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Is nanny good with newborns? If she works with toddlers she might not be confident with babies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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op - she has indicated that she wants to watch the baby, but prefers if it is just our 2yo and the baby. we can't afford to ditch the other family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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I would add another $100 from just your family per week for the baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:38 AM Flag
[ - ] I am a new mom (7 week old dd). Last night FIL was here for dinner and holding dd who was really fussy. I told him I'd take her if he wanted and he never offered her but she kept fussing and I knew if he'd give her to me she's stop. It was torture for me to listen to her be unhappy and him trying to sooth her and making it worse. What do you do in that situation? I just couldn't relax about it though I really do try to back off and let grandparents have their time. Finally I just took her and sat in the dark and rocked her and of course she went right to sleep. Was that OK? I felt like a bitch doing it. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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I would have just taken her. I wouldn't ask. If she's fussy it's for a reason [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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op: really? in the middle of FIL oh-so-painfully acting like he knows what she needs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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yes, it's ok. it sounds like FIl ws trying his best, so don't be huffy about it, just say, oh, i think she needs to be fed and take her nicely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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i wouldn't be huffy about it, but i think he'd be put out by it. with my parents i could just do it but it seems trickier with dh's for some reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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he can be put out by it if he wants. if she's fussing for more than a few minutes, something is up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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sometimes you have to just let it go. babies fuss, then they stop, having her fuss for a few extra minutes isn't hurting her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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yes i agree but it just went on so long [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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how long? I would have intervened after 15-20 mins or so, saying, "Oh, she must be hungry or need a diaper change" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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about 30 minutes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:47 AM Flag
[ - ] I am so happy I have a dd. I don't care if I have more kids or what their sexes are. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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I felt exactly the same way. Isn't it great to get exactly what you want? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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yes, never admitted to myself how much I wanted a dd until she was here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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I had a boy with #2 and he's awsome too, but I'm still just thrilled to pieces with my dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Question to NYers - would you take a cab w/o carseat? I'll be there for a few days with 5 mo. dd, don't want to lug carseat on the trip. Staying in E. 30s, would like to take her to Children's Museum (W. 80s). 1st - is it (museum) even worth it? 2nd - would you do take a cab? Any other options (car service with carseat ,etc.)? tia 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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There are car services with car seats (Legends is one--there are others). I have taken a cab without a car seat (once, in a pinch), but I take mass transit when I can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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I always had dc in the snap n go at that age when taking a cab. I grew up in this city and didn't go without a car seat until dc was older [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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I'm trying to find air-conditioned options of things to do if it's really hot out. Any other ideas? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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just go to a regular museum that YOU want to go to, db will sleep in stroller. Or department stores, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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What do you want to do? Shop? Restaurants? Adult Museums? All possible with infants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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go to regular museums. Your dd will get as much (or little) enjoyment from them as she would from the Children's Museum. MOMA is great and is near where you will be. Oh, and the Swedish House in the upper E. 30s and Park has a children's playroom although, again, your dd may be too young to full enjoy it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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CMoM isn't worth it with a 5mo, sorry. And I would always take a snap n go or something with you unless you're taking a car service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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Don't bother taking your 5 mo to the Children's Museum. She won't appreciate it. Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean. I used to take my dc when he was a baby and really it was a waste of time and money. Not to mention the stomach viruses he caught there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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ooh, good point, didn't event think about the viruses... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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yeah, both times he caught a stomach virus when he was younger, he had just been at the Children's Museum. Kids that age like to mouth things, or pick up things and then put their hands in their mouth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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I never use cabs without car seats but lots of people do. CMOM is great but I'm not sure how much a 5mo would get out of it. There is NYKidsCar who provides a taxi service for families and has car seats. Look at the website to see if they are what you are looking for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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Yes, most NYers take babies/kids in cabs without car seats. Hold tightly on your lap during ride. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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This is the worse thing to do. If you have to travel with a child not in a car seat you are supposed to put them next to you on the seat NEVER on your lap. If the car is in an accident the child is crushed by your bodyweight even in a minor collision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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It is legal but a bad idea. At 5 months it is SOOOOOO easy to come with a snap and go. You can go to museums, restaurants, shopping with the baby - enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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We use cabs without car seats reasonably often - say every couple of weeks. Won't do it if we are, say, going to the airport and will be on a highway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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you are a joke. don't you even dare to blame anybody but yourself when your cab gets into an accident on Manhattan streets and your child flies right into the partition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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np - I have done it on occasion (not every few weeks) and not with an infant but with a 3yo. They wear a seatbelt and I have my arm over them the whole time. Unlikely that they'll "fly through the partition" if there is an accident on a Manhattan street. Don't forget, most of us grew up without carseats as kids and we survived, somehow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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yes, but you also know, hopefully, that the rate of fatalities went down a lot when the seatbelt laws went into effect. Just because YOU survived your childhood does not mean that everybody did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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^^^^ or carseat laws in this case [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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of course, but the odds of something happening are still lower than dc getting killed crossing a street. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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at least you have a chance to keep the child from running into the streets and get hit by a car. You are not able to prevent anything at all if you get into a car accident. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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Unless your 3yo is gigantic a seatbelt will do exactly nothing when you get into a head-on accident. Might as well just leave her unbuckled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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of course a seatbelt will help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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Keep telling yourself that and pray nothing ever will happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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Unlikely? You've never been in an accident, eh? Trust me on this (BTDT) you will not be able to hold your kid back into the seat. It is physically impossible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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so your dc flew through the partition? sorry to hear it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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1) It's okay. Not really special but ok for an hour or two. 2) Hell, no. Take the subway and/or MTA bus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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Seriously people, give it a rest. There is soooo much negativity and fighting on here every day, it makes me sick. By all means, keep your child safe and take public transportation when it's convenient. BUT, taking a cab is not the worst thing ever. I carry my dc in an ergo and put the seatbelt around my waist and put the shoulder strap only on me. I'll take the brunt of any "head on collision in manhattan" and she will not "fly through the partition" because she's attached to me. We all must make decisions that are not perfect everyday, especially living in NYC. So many on here are so mean, I guess all you have to do all day is think of potential disasters and the next negative thing you can say to someone. I am done here and will choose to focus on my dc instead of reading all this negative trash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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I say the same thing to myself all the time and then find myself back here, reading more trash. UB is weirdly addictive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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If your convenience is more important than your child's life so be it. It is your right when it comes to taking a cab or car service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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Are you implying that the need for an infant car seat doesn't really exist? Why do you think it is the law to use one in your own car? And don't tell me that the cab drivers is a much better driver than you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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Your 5 month old will probably have more fun looking around the subway then she would at the CMoM. Try the Met or American History Museum. Plenty of room for strollers and "suggested" donations for admission. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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What is the actual law in NY for cabs? I am expecting in Sept and have wondered how I will take a cab with a baby. How does Snap and Go help...don't you still have to have the base and secure it to cab, which is complicated and time consuming? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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You don't need the base to secure carseat. The base is just more for convenience when you own a car. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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Thanks - very good to know...so you just strap the seatbelt into the Snugride, for instance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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I know nobody who takes a carseat in the city after the infant stage. no problem [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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isn't a 5 month old still considered an infant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:22 AM Flag
[ - ] The 15 lbs of baby weight I have to lose is basically keeping me from eating. It's like I've developed a semi eating disorder about it. I cannot rest until this weight is OFF. None of my clothes fit and I just feel so lardy even though I actually think I look fine. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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Exercise. It is not healthy not to eat (you obviously know that since you mention eating disorders). it is truly amazing how your body reacts to exercise when it is not used to it. To get rid ofmy last 10 lbs (which I had until db was 18 mo) I follwed weight watchers and exercised 3-4 days a week (cardio). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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i have been going to the gym daily and also walking. i'm not actually not eating, just not eating much. i don't even want anything to eat but am making myself. it's just so weird how very much I want this weight off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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If you are not eating enough your body will shut down and you will not lose weight. Try eating 6 small meals per day as opposed to 3 big ones. I find when I eat more often I never feel hungry and it gives your metabolism a boost. Maybe add more high intensity cardio to your workouts - I find if I do not do high intensity cardio I tend to gain weight (or not lose if that's the goal). I run - I know that is not for everyone but there are other things you can do - elliptical, stair master, bike riding, swimming. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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Not eating slows down your metabolism & will get you on a vicious cycle. Lift weights, more muscle increases resting metabolism and will tone you up.Also, try meditation, acupuncture or something to keep you from focusing so much on losing weight. IMO, it's counterproductive - stressing about weight makes me gain weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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