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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] what's the longest dry spell you and dh have gone through? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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2mo (this past yr) when I found out I was pg. I was so nauseated constantly..I couldn't do anything [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Right now - about 2 mos (but I'm 8mos pg) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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op here. also at about 2 mos and i'm not pg! dh has been sick, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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now - 5 months which includes bedrest during pg and post partum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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7 months--pregnancy complications, c-section complications, exhaustion. not good, but it got better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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17mos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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wow. how did you get through that? was it you or him or both? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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It was both of us. The funny thing is we just started scheduling the deed. Did that twice last month and now I'm pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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about 3 months - postpartum. db is now 6mos and we have sex once every week-10days or so but i am still totally not interested (still nursing, db not sleeping thru the night, etc.). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:43 AM Flag
[ - ] ARRGHH!!! Why are other people's mothers so helpful with their dbs and mine is so useless? She was a SAHM, raised me with zero help from my dad, and yet seems to have no idea what to do with a baby. All she wants to do is take pictures of him. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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np: I'm a pretty decent mom- (I think), but loathe playing with toddlers, preschoolers, etc. Love to read to them. Always feel so inadequate that I don't like to play. Feel like all the moms I know love doing this.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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My MIL has grandkids ranging from 4-22. i have known her for 14 yrs. Never seen her really engage with any of the grandkids. I just think she is DONE after raising her own. She is not nasty, just disengaged, but like OP's mom loves to take pics of her grandkids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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my grandmother was like this - completely disengaged from her grandchildren, but when we were older she did nice things with us (took us to shows, etc). Of course, she wasn't a very engaged mother either, from what my mom says... foisted the kids on the nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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my mom lives across the country but my MIL is like that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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op: Anyone have advice on how to ask a mom for more help, or get her more engaged with the kids in a gentle way? It is just sad for me because I feel like others so much help from their parents and the kids know their grandparents so well. And she was so into me having a kid (at 36)! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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some parents/grandparents aren't the "get involved" type with babies, but they can still be very close with grandchildren as they get older. My grandmother was like this (not the baking cookies type, I call her) but I love her very much and have many wonderful memories of being with her as a child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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I think you just have to respect who your mom is and not expect her to be your babysitter. Not sure how old child is, but reading to child is pretty easy task and good bonding experience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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how old is db? my parents are *much* better now that my dd is 3yo and can talk, play with them, etc. maybe she's just not a baby person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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my advice is for you to forget it. you won't change her. She is who she is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Hit a new low as a mom this AM. 4 YO was tantruming and being mouthy and defiant. He went on the naughty step. Somehow things escalated and I swatted his bottom twice. Never spanked before. Feel embarrassed and hating myself. Got to work and period exploded all over my pants. Crying. Sigh. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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don't be too hard on yourself. This happens to more ppl than you think. You are human and make mistakes. Later on talk to your 4yr old and tell them how sorry you are and wrong BUT discuss why you were so upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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op: Thanks, will do. Just hate myself for not keeping my cool and excersing control over the sitch. Also, he is still unable to share well but expects all others to share with him. It started over a toy and I just want him to hurry up and learn the golden rule. Unreasonable probably, but it makes me truly frustrated with him. Sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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or: like I said you aren't alone. I have 2 dc (and pg with #3) and have lost my shit too. This past weekend I lost it with my 4yr old (pooping in the undies) and after my explostion, I went into her room and spoke to her. I said I was sorry and I explained how wrong I was but why I was so upset. We spoke about what's been going on and the next day I actually saw her really trying not to have an accident. Gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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op: thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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:) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:37 AM Flag
[ - ] I am a SAHM and haven't had a nanny because my parents are a few blocks away for when I need a sitter, HOWEVER, my dd is an only child and would like playdates with kids who have nannies. What do I do? Hire a nanny for one day a week for playdates? What type of a nanny wouldn't have a mostly full-time job? I don't even know where to look honestly. Suggestions are welcome. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.22.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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take your kid on the playdates with the nannies. some nannies may not want to socialize with you but some won't care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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why do you need a nanny? Can't your dc just go to playdates with you? So what if the other dc will be with their nanny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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I am trying to find random babysitting jobs here and there and would definitely do playdates with your child. My email is creinekullman@yahoo.com if you are interested. I am a 36 year old currently unemployed NYC woman. I am college educated and have been babysitting the past few months in nYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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I WAH part-time. Somedays my sitter takes DS to playdates and sometimes I do. No reason you can't do it yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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take her to playdates yourself. why would you hire someone just to do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:23 AM Flag
[ - ] 9 wks pg and I have been very thirsty lately - a lot more so than usual. Is this common while pg? I do not remember this with #1. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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It's common. Also it's summer and hot as h*ll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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I was thinking that too. It is just killing me since I pee every hour practically including during the night! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 AM Flag
[ - ] I am seeking pediatric psychopharmacologist in NYC for my 5 year old son to monitor and/or change his drugs. Any suggestions? Preferably, someone who takes insurance; 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.22.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Alexander Kolevzon at Mount Sinai seems knowledgeable but he does not take insurance. But still might be a good person to try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:21 AM Flag
[ - ] taking 9mo dd to the dr today. her finger looks infected. taking the sitter with me. should she go into the dr's room with me or stay in the waiiting room? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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because she's here for the day. should i just leave her at my apt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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poster from below: why not have her stay at your apt and clean or do laundry or run errands for you while you take dd? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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np: maybe OP needs to leave right after Dr appt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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why would she have to go into the examination room? If there is something you need to tell her you can do that afterwards [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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take her in if she has info that you do not have (e.g. how she hurt her finger) or you want her to hear dr's instructions on how to care for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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what happened to neosporin and a bandaid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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have the sitter stay home and clean while you take dd to the dr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:48 AM Flag
[ - ] Those of you that had db after turning 35 did you have amnio? Either way, what helped you make your decision to have it or not> Very torn. had #1 at 34 and did not have amnio. Will be 37 with #2 and unsure what to do. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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Both kids after 35. Amnios with both. If there is an issue you can terminate or start planning for the extra resources you need to raise a child with issues. M/C risk is low, esp if you have an experienced dr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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This is why I woudl do it - especially since I already have one db. But, would be devistated if m/c from it. My practice says they never had anyone m/c but the odds are 1 in 200. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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You are still young. If you had a miscarriage not like you would be unable to try again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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np: poster from below. I agree that the risk is very low if you have someone who has lots of experience. If you are in Manhattan, I had Dr. Saltzman do it and it didn't hurt like my 1st one did with another Dr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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FWIW, I had amnios and one child still has spec needs (something you can not test for). Still glad I had amnio, but now I think there are so many bad things that can happen to kids, it is just part of parenting package, you can not control everything. there are no guarantees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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With experienced docs in Manhattan, the odds are actually more like 1 in 1600 according to the genetic counselor I saw at Cornell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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I had my 2nd dc at 36 and had the amnio. I'm 40 now and pg. I had the amnio 2 mo. ago. I'm about information. If the baby had Downs then I would have time to research and prepare. This is totally personal. If there was a horrible condition, I don't know if I would terminate BUT I would def. be prepared for what was to come [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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I am also all about getting as much info as possible. Just seemed like the OB was almost discouraging it if nuchal results were good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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Well that is the purpose of the nuchal, to determine those wiht higher than average risk and encourage those types to go ahead with the amnio. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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or: but even if your nuchal comes back good, it's not 100% like the amnio. That's why for a Dr. to discourage an amnio when they know the nuchal is only 75%, seems a bit nuts to me if the mom to be wants the amnio [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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If I wanted it should wouldn't discourage but since I was on the fence she said to wait for the nuchal. She also said it was 90% not 75%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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she says 90% and my OB and my sis (who's an OB) say 75%. I just think it's up to the mom and the OB should just be there to give us info [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Yep, so I will not decide until after that what I'll do with the amnio. aT the end of the day, i will likely do it anyway even if the nuchal is good. I just wish there was no risk and that it was done earlier in the pregnancy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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or: I would do what YOU want and not what your OB is pushing you toward. My sis is an OB and has seen ppl with good nuchals, go on to have babies with issues like DS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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I had #1 at 35 and #2 at 37. I didn't have amnios with either: I had a history of miscarriage and was too concerned about risks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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I'm 37 and I had a CVS. I figured the peace of mind I could get afterwards (and early on) was well worth the small risk. I would definitely do it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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I was in the same situation as you -- 34 with #1 and 37 with #2. I did not have an amnio with #1, but I did with #2. The statistics are more probable (although still very unlikely) that you'll have a problem, and I felt a duty to my ds since having a child with a problem would affect his life as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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This exactly what dh and I were discussing and why I was leaning more towards having the amnio. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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I had my kids at 37 and 39--amnio with the first and cvs with the second. i wanted to be prepared in advance for any medical issues. i don't know if we would've terminated for downs, but I definitely would've for something like trisomy 18. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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I had #1 at 38 and no tests because it wouldn't have made a diference. #2 at 42 did CVS, Due with #3 at 44 and will do CVS again, even though I probably wouldn't terminate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:41 AM Flag
[ - ] I am so sick of my MIL. I am having a baby soon and all her friends are sending gifts. Fine. I sent them TY notes and MIL says "Oh, thank you for sending so and so a note," like she's surprised I've done it. So irritating I think b/c I always send TY notes and it really has nothing to do with her that I send them you know? She just grates. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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My MIL does that too. It also bugs me but I do not think mine is doing it to take a dig or anything - I think she just appreciates it when I accknowledge her friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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op: i'm pretty sure mine means it as a dig, this is just an example but it happens every time i see her now. i want to tell her to knock it off but there's no way to do that of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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I would politely let her know that you always send thank you notes when people send you gifts and that there is no need for her to thank you for something like that. But, be sure to be lovely when you say it. When I had real issues with my MIL I just mad eit a poitn to alwyas be ver sweet and lovely when talking to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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My MIL does exactly the same thing. And her daughter (my SIL) NEVER writes TY notes, so it isn't as if she can claim to be Emily Post! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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tell her that there is no need for her to thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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When you send a thank you note, you make HER look good. She knows you sent one because she either asked her friend or her friend mentioned it. So why are you making it into something negative? She's pleased with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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if you could hear her tone of shock and amazement (often expressed loudly in mixed company) you'd understand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 07:46 AM Flag
[ - ] THIS is why i moved to the burbs. ds and dd are playing on the swingset, im sitting at my patio table, drinking coffee and doing some work. I know its not for everyone, but i just love it 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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Sounds lovely. Wouldn't work for me, since it would be my nanny sitting at that patio table while I'm at work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] are there potties that have liners or do you have to scub the poop ever time? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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you can just use old grocery bags and line the potty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 06:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Do they have a garage sale fuction yet? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.22.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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