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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Has anyone tried selling off jewelry online? I'm going to try with a small item and see how it goes. basically they send you a pre-paid mailer, you send the jewels to them, and they send you a check to cash if you choose to accept the offer. anyone btdt? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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I wouldn't do that. Too much risk of things getting lost in the mail. I'd take it into a jewelers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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they insure the package. but agree there seems to be more risk involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:12 AM Flag
[ - ] DH had a vasectomy last month and I am ovulating. I am a little sad. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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don't you stil have a chance??? I thought takes a while for the pipes to clear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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yes, but we decided to not have anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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how do you know you are ovulating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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don't you know when you are ovulating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I'm irregular, so no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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np. No idea never needed to work it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Another thing to worry about. Now granite counters may give us cancer. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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where did you hear that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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I don't spend enough time in my kitchen to get much exposure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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I just read about the cancer research guy who warned his whole staff to limit cell phone use due to cancer risk. Speaking of, how do I get a hands free something for my cell phone? Just got car. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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go to the verison store (or equivalent) and buy one. DUH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I mean can I buy one online? Do I have to get one from "the" store? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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my car has it built in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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Link? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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it's a headline on yahoo news [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Our 10 month old has had a light rash around her eyes for the last few weeks and is slightly congested but always in a good mood. her dr wants to give her claritin for at least 2 weeks. I'm not sure I want to do that - what do you think? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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you come here to ask for second opinion? shouldn't you be consulting another doctor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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i'm wondering what YOU as a parent would do. i will also consult with another doctor. jeez... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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as a parent I would ask another dr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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as an np i would say you suck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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it feels like people on ub are bored and in need of releasing anger. try some deep breathing. i come here for advice, for an exchange of ideas, not to get yelled at by losers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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aww come on, ub was always full of angry women [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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np: and what is your recommendation to op? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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i'm sure she was looking for either a. a horror story to firm up her idea that she shouldn't or b. a bunch of moms that said it did wonders. this question is what ub is for. not some bitchy mom to say ask a dr. thats a given. as for op they don't test any medicine on infants, so unless you really really need it and snot becomes a major daily issue, than no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I would do nothing. When I tried to convince my ped that dd had allergies around the same age, she said do nothing. I did nothing, everything cleared up on its own. She's fine - 3 y/o now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Is $12 an hour too much to pay a college student babysitter? Also what would you think the minimum amount of hours would be? I don't need more than 3. Thanks! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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not too much, and as a former college-student babysitter I wouldn't work for less than 3, so do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I pay 12 and think I'm on the cheap end but my kids are older and generally asleep. If I had an infant and a toddler I'd pay 15. We always try to do a min of 3 hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:46 AM Flag
[ - ] i had a gender determination ultrasound tuesday. baby was sleeping and wouldn't turn around we just saw the spine and back of it's head. they will redo the ultrasound but what can i do to wake that baby up?? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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poke [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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my doctor was poking and trying to get it to roll, but it just kept shrugging him off and stretching and then going back to the same position as if to say "leave me the crap alone man, i am sleeping for crying out loud" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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lol, that happened to me, they made me drink cold and sweet juice and walk for a bit.. gl! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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Cold drink [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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I thought OJ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:13 AM Flag
[ - ] How bad would it be to join ww at 11 weeks pg? A friend who I haven't told yet wants me to join and I was thinking about it anyway for maintenance purposes only. obviously not looking to lose. TIA 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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are you obese? if not, then don't do it. If you eat sensibly, your body will gain what it needs to be healthy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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not bad at all as long as you follow appropriate points. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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they won't take pregnant women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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I think that's not true - doesn't ww have a plan for pregnant ladies, or is it just a bf plan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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bf - I did that one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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as long you don't tell them you are pg, they let you join, tell your friend that you can't spend the money right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Obviously this is a question for your OB, not strangers on UB. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let you join if they knew you were pg, so you'd have to drop out when you start showing anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:20 AM Flag
[ - ] two things- named my daughter Vivienne two months ago- how bummed am I now thanks to Brangelina? Also, making stuffed zucchini- recipe calls for green pepper with the ground meat. I only have red- will that matter or should I just omit? Not a cook, obviously. 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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are you friends with Angelina? Will they go to the same school? Get over it. Red pepper is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Oh man, that stinks about Vivienne. It's a beautiful name though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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serious, I mean, how will you know which child will respond when you're on a playdate with Brangelina? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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Oh give her a break. Everyone will think that she named her kid that because they did. I'd be bummed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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her child was born BEFORE AJ's, so why would they think that? And anyway, why care what they think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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By two months? Maybe if she was four years older but I don't think two months is that noticeable. But you're right, we shouldn't care what others think of us. But for some it's easier said than done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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who cares what others think? only very socially inept people would ever say something, and what does it really matter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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np - you're nasty. it was an original name which is a characteristic a lot of people like, it is not longer original but common. it changed the name entirely. a person's name is all about the public's perception of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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how am I nasty? I agree it is a nice name, but honestly, the fact that a celeb named their child the same thing isn't going to ruin op's child's life. I know several people with the name, fwiw, both adults and children, so it isn't all that original. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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the child was just born, i don't think the op thinks the child's life will be ruined, but is just irratated that her name just went to the most widely known baby in the country. it's disappointing, can't you at least give her that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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sure, but whining about it gets nowhere - and there is no need to be "so bummed" imo - I am also the poster below who named my dd Violet right before Ben& Jen, so I have been there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Jeez, she's bummed, not suicidal. Pls give OP a break. Let's not pretend that it's not a buzz kill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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ok, her first post sounded more upset by the fact than a later one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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everyone in jr. high. it would never occur to me that someone would name their child after a celebrity's child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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me neither [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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You go to NYC playgrounds? Believe they'd think it. Hopefully she isn't in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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who cares what those petty people think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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Listen, no one should care but if you're totally immune to what others think about you I suggest you write a how-to book for the vast majority of people who aren't. You'd make a fortune. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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of course I'm not totally immune to everything but petty stuff like this I let roll off my back. FWIW, I named my DD Violet about 6 months before Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck had their dd, and while it gave me pause for a few minutes I certainly haven't let it ruin my - or my child's - life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I love that name! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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thanks ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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op- just back- it's not that it is going to ruin our lives- come on now- but already people are asking if it is after Angelina's baby. People mention it everywhere I go. It was a nice, classic name that now has Brangelina associated with it. It's a bummer. But I do realize there are much worse things in life, trust me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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I guess the people you interact with have no class. your dd has a lovely name, just tell them Brangelina stole it from you and laugh them off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Jennifer and Ben are no where close to Brangelina status [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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np - when their dd was born they were pretty popular, the name became very known [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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ita - i hate violet's mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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why would you say something like that? honestly? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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cuz she was self-righteous and annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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1) get over it, the name is public domain. 2) red pepper is fine (assuming you're talking about fresh bell peppers, not dried spicy pepper) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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Lets just hope Brangelinas DD doesn't do anything stupid, and at least you don't have the last name of Pitt, right? Remember "Michael Bolton" in the movie Office Space? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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I don't like Vivienne and I don't like Knox. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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on Socks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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No, Knox on box and fox in socks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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I named my dd Marcheline... how bummed am I? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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i hope not too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:48 AM Flag
[ - ] What do you think about the blues, oranges and yellows in this piece of art as inspiration for room colors? The walls would be that same blue with pops of orange and yellow (girls room). Thanks 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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Oops, link here: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=13600647 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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what do you mean by "pops"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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OP: accents. I was going to do an aqua blue with orange, but I like these colors for some reason [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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nice colors, but that's not art [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Not buying the art, just like the color combo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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gotcha. Looks nice, and would be fine for a boy too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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I think it's cute. Very graphic and modern [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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Very cute--go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
[ - ] My 5 1/2 yo daughter is making me insane. She hits, screams, says "too many rules too challenging", tells us we're the "worstest parents ever", negotiates everything, will distract her and calm her down and then...she'll say "but, how about just a little ____" and then repeats cycle. I see others like this, know it's a phase, that she continues to reach for control over her environment (which includes us parents) in ever more creative ways as her brain develops - but I have no idea how to help her learn to process her frustration and anger. Know we're not military type disciplinarians, but have always set boundaries,had rules, reward and punishment. What to do? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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^^^ and, this behaviour is at home with us - she's fine in playground, in pre-k, on play dates, camp, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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remember, you are the parent. plain and simple. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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np: I'm sure she remembers this. But she needs help. Not all kids cope the same way and her DD is having a hard time. Sheesh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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You don't have a child within the 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 yo age-range, do you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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OP- of course, which is how she got no tv and a time out last night, but the whole thing went on for way too long, then she comes out of time out, apologizes, is fine, then I see that light bulb go on and she's back to asking for the thing we told her no, and cycle repeats - all right before bed, when she's already toast and only half in control. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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I posted below (have the 6 yo ds) - I think it's hard with this age group because they KNOW we're in control and yet they WANT TO BE in control of EVERYTHING. It pisses my ds off to the inth degree that I say things like, "I'm the parent and you're the kid and I get to make the final decision!!" That's typically when he'll start slamming doors and telling me everything in his life is "stupid!!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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OP - thanks for all this, you at least made me laugh. DH and I thought we'd just lost our parental groove. I thought I was failing to teach dd to deal with her emotions. Thn occurred it might be a phase (especially when I saw one of her class mates hit another classmate!). Nice to know it's a phase and not just us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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Same thing we're doing ... let this phase ride out. Our ds is 6 yo and it's still the same - I'm hoping 7 is the magic number??! My ds's biggest thing that he does now is: we tell him "no" about whatever it is he's asking for and he goes in to his room, slams his door HARD, and starts throwing his stuff around. We leave him alone, pop a few Tylenol, and then - usually around 15 minutes later, he cools down and acts as though everything's alright. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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6 y.o. DS is tough in this way. He actually said to me one night after he had a meltdown "but I want to be the one in charge." We are pretty firm w/ definite boundaries (and have always been that way). If he's behaving in a way that's making things tough for the rest of us, then we send him to his room until he can be civil. But I've also tried to give him a few things that he can be in control over. It's hard to come up w/ the right things, but giving him jobs or areas of the house he is the "master" of and responsible for keeping a certain way, that has helped with him. In quiet moments I try to talk to him about this, about his feelings. I think in his case he is doing a lot of separating he didn't do at a younger age and having lots of feelings about that. Stay calm and cool and do the best you can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Oh, and out in the world he is absolutely lovely. Perfect behavior at school--I mean, a model student, very respectful, helpful, cooperative. That part gives me hope. I think he is very comfortable at home so he's working his "stuff" out here with us and not taking it on the road, so to speak. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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My 6 yo DD does this! We fight daily--every little thing she contradicts me on--it drives me nuts. Not to mention it's tiresome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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OR. And like some of the posters above--she is perfect at school and at other parents' homes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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my 4.10 yo is exactly like this. i was hoping she would grow out of it soon,. guess we are in it for the long haul [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:38 AM Flag
[ - ] 2.5 yo ds recently stopped napping but sleeps 11 hours at night. He has had short-lived tantrums occasionally but lately they have been more frequent full-on screaming brawls that last forever. Is this normal when the nap first drops, or is something else going on, or is it just the two's getting worse? Any tips on stopping/limiting this behavior? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.24.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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My 2.7yo ds behavior is always at it's worse when he is tired, He hasn't napped since he turned 2 but still really needs to imo. No tips because I'm dealing with the same as you. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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seems to happen even hours before he would normally nap though. have you found anything that stops the tantrum once started - do you do a time out or just let it ride its course? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:11 AM Flag
[ - ] We live in NYC. Grandparents are in LA. They have been begging us to visit. Our DS is 1 year. We have been resisting b/c of the time change, the flight, and the overall adjustments of staying at a new place. Should we just give in or is it the nightmare we expect it to be? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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Go. It won't be a nightmare unless you make it a nightmare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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How exactly would we MAKE it a nightmare, other than by going? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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by giving yourselves unnecessary stress. Things won't be as "routine" as you might be used to, but if you adapt you won't have a problem. Actually, it would have been easier if you'd traveled earlier, as db would be more used to it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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You can't but if you go with awaiting for disaster to happen attitude, a disaster will probably happen. We took DS to L.A. and England and had no problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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ITTTTTTTTTA. Have been traveling with dcs since they were 6 weeks old with no problems. Occasionally a screwed-up schedule for a night or 2, but isn't a visit with grandparents worth more than your routine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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OP: The way I see it is that they can get on the plane and come to NYC. Way easier. If they don't want to then TFB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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wow, you are incredibly self-centered, has anyone ever told you that? maybe they can't travel, don't have the money, or want to show you and db their hometown? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I'm sure my 1yo DS would really love to be [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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your child will have fun wherever you go if you go with a good attitude. Get over yourself, stop overthinking, and go visit your in-laws! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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That's the problem. She doesn't have a good attitude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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no, she doesn't - she sounds incredibly self-centered [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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She won't enjoy it so she doesn't want to go. That's the bottom line, not the kid having a wee bit of jet lag [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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oh, I totally agree. I think her dh should take db and leave her at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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But she might like that. Better to take her with and torture her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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oh, I agree, but with such a PITA the in-laws might not want her... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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That kind of attitude - you're definitely going to have problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Agreed. It's only 3 hour difference!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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What's the strategy for adjusting the sleep schedule? Would DS go to bed at 5PM PST rather than 8PM EST? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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He goes to sleep when he's tired. That's what I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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no, you just let them adapt the same way you do... you're over thinking this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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I would keep ds on regular schedule. It is only a week. And then you get to sleep in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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you're really over thinking this. Flexibility and adaptability are two important traits in adults and children. I think you'll all be fine, just take the first step, figure it out and adapt....boy goes to bed when he's tired. Maybe will be cranky first day. World will not crumble as a result of that fact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Do it - I can't believe you haven't already. We're in NYC, one set of grandparents in SoCal (not LA) the other in Europe, and we've visited both since dcs were 6weeks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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These are dh's parents, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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Right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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that explains it all. get over yourself and go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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ITA - good cath or! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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why don't you just stay and send db with dh? seems to me that you don't want go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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PS - it sounds like this really might not be able your son and his adjustment. Do you talk to them regularly? Do YOU want to go, regardless of your son? If not, own up to that and deal with that, rather than blaming it on the kid and his schedule. Maybe your dh and ds go together by themselves and you have your first alone weekend? Kids are adaptable, but only if you model it for them. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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I've gone btw London and New York about every 3 months since db was 6 months old. Lots of people travel with babies and while it's more difficult than traveling without them it's not so bad. You can easily take a 1 year old from NY to California. Suck it up and go visit your in-laws. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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it doesnt sound like you've been resisting for anything other than you dont feel like going. this is not a big deal! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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this is insane. both my kids went from NYC to california at less than a year for vacations. it was not a huge deal to adjust, and i find it odd that you haven't taken the baby to see grandparents yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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I agree with the above posters that you need to look at the other reasons you don't want to go. I also live in NYC and my family is in SoCal and we visit about 3-4 times a year. I often make the trip by myself which can be tough carrying the junk but my DD does great! She adjusts better than I do. I suggest taking the 5pm flight because you might get your DS to get a little sleep and give you a break. Once you're there, he'll be more apt to sleep right away and start getting adjusted. I also recommend you try and stay at least a week. Buy the ticket - go! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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You have to go. Yes, it's going to be disrupting ot DS' schedule but you should still go. Just got back from a trip from NYC to LA with my 1 year old and yes, it took him almost 3 weeks to readjust upon returning to NYC. But I wouldn't trade that for a visit with my family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.08, 05:52 AM Flag
[ - ] We live in NYC. Grandparents are in LA. They have been begging us to visit. Our DS is 1 year. We have been resisting b/c of the time change, the flight, and the overall adjustments of staying at a new place. Should we just give in or is it the nightmare we expect it to be? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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Why not give it a go. It might be tough or it might not and even if it is you will soon get back to your normal routine. Have fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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she doesn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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you again? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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did you mean to post in "the other website" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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Please go. It's not THAT hard! Just be organized and flexible. Once you are there, accept grandparents help too! Let them do stuff with db. It will serve everyone well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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Stay home and send dh with db, obviosly YOU don't want to visit your in-laws [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:19 AM Flag
[ - ] I am thinking about switching our health insurance to dh's plan. we currently have aetna but the deductibles are so freakin' high on the plan my company subscribes us to. Is anyone familiar with United healthcare/Oxford? Are they fair and cover things, is it easy to find doctors, or would you stay with Aetna? TIA. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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Aetna has better doctors but UHC has better customer care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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Not at all, we just switch from my crappy Aetna to Dh's Oxford, which is MUCH better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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we've liked both UH and Oxford. I think you'll be fine with either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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MD here: They are all similar, depends more on whether or not your particular MDs are on the plan, whether your particular medications are on the plan's formulary, and then the actual minutiae of what your individual plan carries. As a general managed care company, all 3 are equivalent, IMHO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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We used to have Aetna and have just switched to United Healthcare. We haven't had to change any of our doctors and don't really notice a difference in the number of doctors who take the two. For us, the UHC plan is better, but that would depend on the specific plan options you have with each company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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The deductibles and copay is all part of the negotiations of the employer with the health insurance. My deductibles with Aetna are totally different than the somebody else's using the same insurer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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op: thanks everyone. I have had aetna with the last 3 companies I have worked for, and each company has subscribed to a different level, or plan, within aetna. the company I am with now subscribes to one with an impossible family deductible to reach in a given year and it's expensive. DH's UHC-Oxford plan looks better in terms of ded and cost, but I wanted to make sure we would be looking at the same level of doctors and customer service. Thank you for your feedback-I am more comfortable now switching when re-enrollment comes up in a few months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Would it be wrong to not tip camp counselors? 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.24.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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I'm not going to. UB is the only place of heard of this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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np: i'm not going to either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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Some camps will send you tipping instructions actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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Don't be cheap guys. I can guess your ethnicity, actually. If you have to wonder, why not just tip the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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Norwegian here, tipping is out of control. I was never tipped as a camp counselor and I didn't expect to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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what does this have to do with ethnicity? you're ridiculous! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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No. I've never heard of this before UB. Those teenagers get paid more as counselors than any other summer job they might have had [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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so not true. They'd make much more driving the drink card at the golf course or any other service-oriented job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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I was a camp counselor and a waitress, and was paid much better at the camp (usually $10-12/hr, 8-10 years ago). Service jobs may make $$ in tips but that isn't reliable. Never tip a counselor - that is just teaching today's youth to be more entitled than they already are! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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Then why do camps send out guidelines for tipping if they don't want to encourage it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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that is really inappropriate, in my opinion. I would write a note to the camp director explaining that I feel that tipping is for excellent service, and unless one specific 16-year-old counselor did something exceptional with my child I would not tip anyone. A camp that employs teachers/childcare professionals should absolutely not be asking for tips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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It is common practice in NYC, like it or not. camps that provide guidelines are doing so to help and guide parents who do not know what is appropriate. camps also don't want it getting out of control. You can opt out, but writing a letter to the director is way over the top. you need to chill. where do all these entitled people come from anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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I've never heard of it. I guess it's an NYC thing. When I was a counselor at a summer camp, 8-10 yrs ago, we only made around $100 a week. But they fed us and we slept there too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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I'm not tipping mine. They are paid to do their jobs--they aren't waitresses providing personalized service or special touches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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ITA. And I was a camp counselor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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ITTTA, so was I. If someone had offered me a tip I think I wouldn't have accepted it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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OMG. You MUST be in NYC. I'm in MA (used to live in NYC) and that thought hadn't even crossed my mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:21 AM Flag
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Next time just flash your boobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I was a counselor at a day camp in NY > 20 years ago and about half of the kids tipped $20-50 each. I was elated. I def plan to tip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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wow, thats really unusual [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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most of the kids came from Riverdale and Manhattan FWIW. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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Camp counselors are paid lousy. I was always under the impression it was customary to tip them or give a gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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they're paid better than other summer jobs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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hostessing/bussing tables, working at fast food restaurants (teenager jobs), regular babysitting (though depends) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Then why do we have to pay an arm and a leg to send our kids to the camp? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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do you not tip the waitstaff at an expensive restaurant b/c the bill was so high? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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Tipping at restaurants is expected in the US. Tipping camp counselors? No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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No, really, I was just wondering where the money goes then. Restaurants have to purchase the food, pay the rent for a good location, etc. Camps that are held at a middle school building that is not in use during the summer otherwise should be putting most of the money to staff. Right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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insurance would be a biggie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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liability for the hosting school, primarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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it always bothers me. you pay so much to send your kid to camp and the money is going someplace but not to the counselors. so then i feel obligated to tip and then i get annoyed that i have to tip on top of paying for camp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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I was a counselor at a day camp on LI. We were paid next to nothing - our entire salary depended on tips, which all the parents gave us (though there was a range). Please tip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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I used to work at Asphalt Green- we were paid horribly and relied on tips. Same with many camps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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OR: i know that. and i'm the kind of person who hates tipping and doesn't always do it. but the counselors i feel are really taken advantage of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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They are getting paid next to nothing to run around and play with your bratty kids all day- tip them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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should I tip their teachers at school too? Oh and their doctors and dentists and everyone they come in contact with? I hate jobs that depend on tips - employers should pay a decent wage if it's not don't work for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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many of my childhood friends were camp counselors. I made much more money at my summer jobs (working at boat yard, stocking groceries, etc.) than they did. They lived for the tips at the end of the summer. That was their spending money for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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wow, I worked as a camp counselor for 8 summers and never once got tipped [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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I worked as a counselor at 2 different DC top private schools and was never tipped. Never even heard of it until this thread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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i grew up in suburban philadelphia and went to two different day camps growing up and my parents and my friends parents always tipped - it wasn't a huge amt, but they definitely tipped [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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only in NYC! i'm from the midwest and i have NEVER heard of such a thing. but then again, i never knew people hired baby nurses too.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 03:40 PM Flag
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I was a camp counselor in NJ for 10 yrs... and we always got tipped. The camp sent out guidelines. In 2001, I got about 50$ per kid in my group and 30$ from the bus kids. We expected tips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:15 PM Flag
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I worked at a camp in CT in college, most of the kids were from Manhattan & LI, and camp tuition was extremely high - 8wks sleep away camp. Counselors were not tipped and it was never even discussed between staff to my knowledge. We were paid decent, so I guess it was a non-issue. Looking at it now, my opinion would be if your DB has a great counselor who they developed a special bond with, then tip them because you want to. Don't do it because you feel you have to, rather top where you feel it's appropriate. Obviously it's not a black & white issue, just go with your gut I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.29.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Our camp sent out vague guidelines, but definitely said tips were expected. This is LI. I feel like it's emotional blackmail if I don't give enough. Will my child suffer the next year? Will the counselors remember how much I gave. I wish it was more black and white - or that the staff pooled tips, or it was based on seniority. Just seems so random. And WHY do I need to tip a bus driver that is hired as a 3rd party from the camp. Seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.10, 04:09 PM Flag
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I worked in a day camp and a sleep away camp for 4 years. Our camp had a policy against tipping. Why would you tip someone who gets a salary? It's crazy! I agree..this tipping thing is out of control. These are college students generally, not PhD students [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.10, 04:16 PM Flag
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Terrible. My daughter is working at a day camp now. They are not paid much...it is all based on tips. Most of the parents who's kids have left have tipped great. Hope none of her families are on UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.10, 05:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there a childcare board on UB where I can post for my nanny? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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do it on craigslist, much more effective [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:12 AM Flag
[ - ] How did you know that you were ready for a second child? I'm struggling with it. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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not sure I ever felt ready -- db#1 was such a huge life change for me, had mild ppd, took a long time to feel "normal" again. then tried, couldn't get pg and thought "just as well". stopped trying, got pg with #2, and soooo happy, she is such a love. 0 to 1 is way harder than 1 to 2, though that has its challenges as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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We always knew we wanted two. I was worried about being able to love another baby as much as DS but now we have DD and she's wonderful too. Seeing the two of them together playing is so great. And honestly, the move from 0-1 was a bigger adjustment than 1-2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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If you are struggling with the idea, then don't do it. There is nothing wrong with having or being an "only". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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I was old. I had to do it or not do it. I did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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I just knew I wanted a second dc when 1st dc was still a baby. Did not have that feeling after #2, and in fact, had the opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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I'm the opposite to you. Never broody after #1 but terribly so after #2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] good beach reads? haven't read a book in forever and i'm flying for a wedding this weekend! 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.24.08, 10:00 AM Flag
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Barefoot by Erin Hildegrand (something like that--new in paperback). Very trashy but fun was Mrs. Perfect. All the Maisie Dobbs mysteries are great, though not that "beachy." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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I always go for a nice, fat classic over the summer--Dickens is usually good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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I like you. Have you read Our Mutual Friend? God I love that book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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No--I haven't read that one yet! Last summer I read the Pickwick Papers, which was very funny. This year I'm actually reading the Count of Monte Cristo, which is great so far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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How cool. I read Monte Cristo ages ago. Mutual Friend is awesome, but pretty dark (esp. compared to an early work like Pickwick). It's his last completed novel--he wrote it while he was having an affair w/ an actress young enough to be his daughter and you can see a lot of double-life ideas in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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Sounds familiar--I think I've picked it up and decided against it because it sounded a bit dark for summer reading. Plus I just love his humor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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Yeah, definitely a fall-winter vibe to that book. Some funny bits too though. I just love him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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Well that settles it then--it's next up after Monte Cristo. Thanks--I have my fall read! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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ITA. David Copperfield, ot jane Eyre [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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Just finished Hound of the Baskervilles. Pretty nice, fast read [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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i only have a few hours of reading on the plane...then back to my twins so no big books now! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:21 AM Flag
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Trophies: step above regular chick lit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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on the thread of good classics, anything by Thomas Hardy. Most of us had to read Tess for school, but Return of the Native and Far from the Madding Crowd are great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:59 AM Flag
[ - ] I've made friends w/ a group of moms from DS's school. I like them & they're fun to hang out with, but one thing is kind of bugging me. I notice that they seem to talk a lot about 1) how much (or little) they've exercised 2) food--like if something has fat or not, or how much they've eaten. I have quite a few female friends and we've never focused on those topics. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:59 AM Flag
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it is something that most all women can talk and bond about. real friends you've made over time have their own things, friends you have just because your dc's go to the same school don't have much to build on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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Good point--I had not thought about that perspective on it. Still find it annoying and weird, but maybe I can just be patient and it will lessen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Sorry for the crazy vent. dh is out of town this week on business, my work is insane with multiple deadlines, and db (8 mo) for reasons unknown has woken up every night at 3, demanded to nurse and then refused to go back to sleep. I'm tired and out of it, and want to run away to a deserted island. How do working moms all over the world do this? I'm too f&^%#*g old for this, I swear. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.24.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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Lots of caffeine and I have a husband who really pulls his weight (not criticizing yours just saying what helps my situation). FWIW I am primary wage earner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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no, my dh is awesome....he's just 3,000 miles away until Sunday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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can you get a baby sitter over the weekend to give you some time off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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yep, it's tough. when dh gets back you should take a day (a whole day) off [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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btdt - I feel for you. the only thing you can do is know that it won't last and just go to be super early tomorrow night to make up for lost sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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It's hard and I'm sure you are doing a great job. I think everyone just tries their best to survive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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thanks. I snapped at db last night. It was 4:40 in the morning. I feel terrible....... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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Take it easy on yourself. You are juggling a lot right now. When times get particularly tough, I was say to myself "dig deep and just get through the next 5 mins". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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This is good advice, and, rest assured, your 8 mo will never remember you snapping at him! It's hard, just take deep breaths and get through and, I try to be extra diligent at work rest of time to make up for the times when motherhood and 2 full time jobs puts me out of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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Just be grateful you aren't sick this week. I had the same experience a year ago but with two kids and also had the flu. It's really hard when you WOHM fulltime and have no help or family around. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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