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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Why is it the fruit in the grocery store, say Food Emporium, is so expensive and mediocre, yet the fruit at the carts run by the Pakistani men on the sidewalk is half the price and great quality? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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do you really think it's great quality? I've gotten crap there a lot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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You have to pick the right cart. The one four blocks from me is great. The one 1/2 block is not great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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They make less money, have less overhead, less selection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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funny you mention that -- i live in the burbs and just got some terrific, cheap fruit on one of those carts. wish they had them in nj... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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the fruit cart guys buy the ripe stuff that has a short shelf life, which is good for them because they need to turnover for inventory. Grocery Stores can't buy that cause they usually need to store it for a while. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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WRONG [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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??? this is exactly right. also b/c they buy what the wholesaler has surplus of. also why the corner stores sell roses for $8/doz while florists get $60+ for them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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i think this is true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:59 PM Flag
[ - ] So my ds with an April birthday will be one of the youngest boys in his class-maybe I should hold him back for another year of preschool 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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How does April make you the youngest? December would make my ds the youngest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Privates rarely take boys with bdays beyond May, therefore April boys are among the youngest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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My ds has an April bday and is the youngest child in his private school class. He's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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what about the kids who are born from May-December? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Their parents hold them back so they will be the oldest in the next grade down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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OP- They are all held back so that they are 6 when they start K [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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oh please!!! (signed, mom of late Dec. boy who is doing GREAT in K at 5.5. Stop making excuses for paranoia) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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When is your district's cutoff? That sounds pretty silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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NP: It doesn't have much to do with the district. In NYC, summer birthdays and increasingly late spring birthdays are held back a year in preschool for PRIVATE school admission. They want older kids. Makes their records look better when everyone is reading by middle of K. Of course they're all reading, they'd be in public 1st grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] how many months of ttc before you get pg?how old were you? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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2 months at 33 and 19 months at 35 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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first try, 33 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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1 month, 34; 1 month, 37 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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1st try, 38 (have a dd), 2nd try 39 (but m/c), 2nd try at 30 (preg) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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^^ woops, the last one should be 39, not 30 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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Wow, how did you take ten years off your age? I want to do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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1st try, 31. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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1st try 29, 1st try 33 (M/C), 34 1st try (chem preg), 6 months for 2nd child at 34 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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3yrs ttc / 1st pregancy at 36 with IVF [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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1 month; 29 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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1 mo at 28, 2 mo at 31 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:12 PM Flag
[ - ] There's a 10 yr old girl from my dd's school who is such a nice, fun, sweet, considerate kid. I met her mom and was surprised by her, she seemed pushy and annoying actually. I expected her to be different. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Well, the mom is not 10 yo now is she. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I expected her to be elegant in many ways. Then again, look at Ramona and her daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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That's me! Yeah, my dd is fabulous and I just think that you're boring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] how long after a miscarriage you conceive again? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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8 months total.... (but it took me a while to get my period again) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Nest has 5 classes, Anderson has 2. Therefore, there are only 175 children who are going to be offered spots at these schools. Maybe 200 if they over accept. Of all the 99s I know, including our DS, none have even applied to privates let alone are holding a spot with a private. How many families could this affect - 100 at most? Approximately 21,000 children took the OLSAT. Yet people want the DOE to rearaange its schedule for 100 or so families who might have to forgo one year's tuition. Of all the reasons to change the process, and there are many. This is not one of them. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.24.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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Oops sorry for the double post, I was trying to reply to someone posting about losing tuition if they get into a city wide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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Sorry, referring to a post regarding changing the notification dates to accommodate families already in private. Don't know how I messed up this post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Tell us one more time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Can't get it right tonight. Signing off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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I think it's a pretty valid reason. Loosing private school tuition is one of the zillion other hardships the DOE is impossing on families with its rediculous timeline. Families who need to relocate have only two months to do so. This whole thing is so backwards. The DOE has been doing this for years. they should have it straight by now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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You want the DOE to change its timeline because greedy privates insist an entire year's tuition even when they can easily fill the open spots from their waitlist. Why is this the DOE's problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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If your DC scored over 90 then he/she is guaraneed a spot in a G&T so no need to move. If not you already know that you have to move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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yes, the doe is to blame for private school policies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 09:18 AM Flag
[ - ] why is it that either dh or i get sick right around ovulation time? i'm never going to get pg at this rate. this sucks 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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just do it, sick or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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dh is stomach sick. he's got diarrhea. it's totally not happening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Hello everyone, 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Hello everyone, 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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(((((((((((go away))))))))) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] any street fairs in northern nj or nyc for tomorrow? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Check gocitykids.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Profoundly gifted children often suffer from anxiety and depression that cannot be treated in the same way as one would treat similar symptoms in non-gifted children. A gifted program that truly accomodates the whole child is prepared to deal with this. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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um, thank? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Gifted writer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Yes, but I can't type or spell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Einstein was a terrible speller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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You, I love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Profoundly gifted kids aren't what gifted programs are about, though. The latter is for smart kids who benefit from accelerated curricula. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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But who offers that kind of program other than Hunter? I know so many off the charts kids who didn't make it past round 2 at Hunter. Hunter only has 48 spots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I think there are very few, if there is any, PG kids even at Hunter. PGs are above 99.9%tile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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says who? where are you getting this stuff? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Any article, text, study or book on gifted kids. It's a common and roundly accepted idea in early childhood education. highly gifted children are developmentally unbalanced...the intellect is out of whack with the emotional maturity (please excuse spelling). A four year old with an accute sense of time doesn't have the emotional strength to endure a whole day of preschool. the thought of surviving 3 to 6 hours of structure and parental separation is too daunting an idea for such a young child and not meant to be so intimately understood. A five year old who can sight read at an adult level, who can understand adult conversation and therefor does not filter out snippets of conversation, news, tv and radio understands too much about war, poverty, sickness and crime for his emotional core. He lacks the maturity to understand levels or to distance himself from real life facts outside of his own world. Children lack the life experience to understand that threats are not always present even while they exist elsewhere. That is why a 5 year old is not meant to understand these subjects, but a highly gifted child WILL understand without having the strength to process. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Oh, my DC fits that description, and is a bit sensitive (was obsessed with death at age 4, for instance) but with a bit of parental support is totally fine. WL for Hunter, FWIW, but thriving. Some kids have emotional or developmental issues, regardless of whether they are cognitively advanced or not. Each child is different. Being "gifted" doesn't automatically mean they will have problems if not in some hothouse program for school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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np: It's well documented. OP is talking about true giftedness, not bright children in a G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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she is talking profoundly gifted, which is very rare. Most kids who score b/t a 95 and 99 on the SB are gifted to highly gifted. PG is another ball game all together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:25 AM Flag
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OP: My child scored over 99% and suffers from extreme anxiety. Seeing a therapist now but not sure where to take DC for school. Homeschooling not an option, one because DC is very social and loves being around other kids and two because I'm just not smart enough! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:49 AM Flag
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Have you looked at private schools? Many have a small enough class size and enough specialist that they really can give a PG child what he/she needs. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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np; many privates are structured and wont' be good for pg kids. I'd try for progressive schools but it doesn't mean they want to take in kids with severe emotional issues no matter how smart they are. It's tough. I think OP should exert all her energy to help dc cope with anxiety and when it's better, try again with privates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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Do you have Pg child? Why are you interested in the topic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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I have a gifted child with anxiety and there does not seem to be a school that suits my DCs needs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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If you're in NYC and can afford it, you should talk to David Salsberg. Talk about gifted - he's gifted at matching children to schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:18 AM Flag
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Thanks, Dave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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My PG child is happy at a TT private, so it's not like there is no school for them. You have to find out where the anxiety comes from. It could be related to his giftedness or maybe not. If his anxiety is a separate issue from his giftedness, you may have to find a psychologist instead of looking for a school that can deal with this. Not all PG children have this issue. Some PG children suffer from ill-suited curriculum, but I don't think being a PG induces anxiety problem in itself. As the poster below said, please try to join Davidson Institute if your child's score is qualified. It could be of great help in many areas. We [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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^^are one of the Davidson family and it is a great support system besides being able to meet with other families like ours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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I agree, though I think PG kids are more at risk compared to general population. Doesn't mean every PG kid will have anxiety issues, but. Is your PG child in the lower school now or in MS or HS? I was wondering about what the school does for dc when PG kids finish HS curriculum in middle school... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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My dc is in MS and our school has been accomodating my dc. We will work with our school to find ways to accomodate my dc as we go along. So far, we feel grateful for the openness and efforts our school has been making. I don't think there is a school that knows the issue re PGs besides the Davidson Academy in Nevada. However, if it's a good school, the intelligent administration would be able to collaborate with the parents to think out of the box. If you have a PG child, I understand that it could be frightening at times, but it is important to be positive and know that there are people out there like you. You're not alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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Contact Davidson Institute. They give free help, even fly people out for you if needed... You have to submit IQ test scores (SB5 99.9 is cutoff, ERB is not a full IQ test so it won't do)... Good luck!! It's EXTREMELY hard to have a PG kid and these people don't understand - they think it's something to be jealous of. You can try again next year or into Middle School when he's had a little more time to cope with his anxiety with private schools (not structured ones - they would stifle him. Self-paced ones and progressive ones)... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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We went to get the results of our sons IQ test and the first thing the psychologist (who specializes in g&t kids) told us was that kids with high IQs have higher chances of developing depression and a higher suicide rate. She said they tend to focus deeper on issues. The day after 9/11 she had 10 7-9 year olds in her office freaking out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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ITA. Being in denial (which happens often in parents who are frightened with what they're dealing with) does NOT help the dc. I read a book that gave very helpful tips on raising exceptionally gifted children (including PG) but can't remember the title now... Anyway, EG/PG kids are a higher risk group than average kids and often underperform at school (if they stay at school, that is) and tend to more physical issues as well and O/E. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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My son attends a small, small private school in New Rochelle that allows children to work at their own pace. They allowed my son to skip a grade and now he is in a math class that is two years ahead of the grade he is in currently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Which citywide public school did the Benders attend after losing money on the LREI contract? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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link? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/nyregion/23bigcity.html?scp=1&sq=bender&st=nyt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 08:44 PM Flag
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How could they possibly already know about a citywide? Is it Hunter? Maybe their kid scored 99th percentile, and they are hedging their bets???? Anyone know?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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it was last year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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Oh... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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Not Anderson and probably not TAG. I'd bet it's NEST from deductive reasoning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 09:37 PM Flag
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How do you know it's not Anderson? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 09:43 PM Flag
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well, they are downtown (just one factor that may indicate NEST over Anderson) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 01:09 AM Flag
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But someone above definitively said it's not Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 04:44 AM Flag
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I"m sure it was discussed to death but I really didn't feel that sorry for them. They were willing to pay full freight tuition for the long term and were fortunate enough to get a city wide g&t spot that they preferred. LREI formed their class based on the assumption their specific dc would attend and even though they can easily fill the spot, they probably "lost" many of the dc they would have put in that spot to other private schools, parents moving etc. LREI forgave them part of the tuition. They should be glad it worked out the way it did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 01:13 AM Flag
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ita. they should have read the contract more closely. LREI doesn't have a huge endowment the way many other independent schools do-they were just enforcing their contract. the family came off as entitled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.27.08, 03:58 AM Flag
[ - ] How does Face Book work? Can people see when I visit their site? Do I need to join? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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who are you stalking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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lol, old friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Until last week, one could see who most often visited a site, but I think they closed that loop hole after gawker outed it. I'm on facebook and don't know how to check if one can [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Very shy but smart june bd ds. Should we hold him back 1 year and not apply to privates this year? I think academically he'd be great but he'd be one of the youngest in his class on top of his very introvert personality. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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depends upon what type of school you're thinking of. In my experience in two schools, everyone holds back boys born after may [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I never understand this question...don't you have to just go with the cut-offs? If you wait until next year won't they just say you have to apply for first grade? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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no, not how it works [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Put him in public K then and apply out from there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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but then I wouldn't have the PSD to help us through the process [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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My PSD helped people who did that. Talk to her. The alternative of staying in preschool an extra year is fine, too, you know. Lots of kids do this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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she helped even though the kid wasn't at her school anymore? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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thanks. it's good to know this could be an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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np- I agree but often wondered about the kids that don't get shut out the following year. Do their kids go straight into 1st grade in public school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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you mean the kids who don't get into private the 2nd year either? They would go to public K, I guess, but never saw this happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Really? I imagined it must happen to some considering how hard it is to get in. Possibly the choose several safe schools just in case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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np. No, they skip K and go straight to 1st grade in public. The NYC DOE is very strict about the cut-off dates. I've seen this happen, and trust me you don't want it to happen to your dc. I agree with the other poster who said send the dc to public K and apply out from there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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You may not have a choice. I would talk to his teacher and see what she thinks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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Why wouldn't she have a choice? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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Because the schools may say her dc is too young. FWIW, not one boy is dc's preK class who has a birthday after 31 May got into a private. They were all told too young. That doesn't mean this will happen to op's ds as there are boys who are ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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OP asked whether she should even apply this year or just hold him back. She does have a choice about that. Of course of she chooses to apply, the schools may all tell her he's too young, but that's not what she asked about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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This redshirting concept for summer kids is nuts. There was a woman on here who held her dc back and then got shut out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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That can certainly happen, which is why I think it is best to try. Schools will tell you if they think dc is too young. I do find it absurd and unfair that a family would have to go through this horrible process twice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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I would apply and see how it goes. You can always apply again next year or go public if you don't do private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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ITTTA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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When is the birth month? If born in April or earlier, no private will take him next year and will say he's too old. There are some kids who were told too young one year but the next year, were told too old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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The OP says June. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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Oh, then no problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.08, 06:17 AM Flag
[ - ] A couple divorces, DH moves 1.5 hours from city where DW and DD live. DH gets DD every other weekend and holidays are split evenly. He pays support. They have joint legal custody. Who should be driving the child back and forth for visits? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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meet in the middle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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He should. He can choose to live where his child lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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he can't, because of work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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He could drive 90 minutes to work each day. Whatever. I think it should be the father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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wtf? no, not going to spend 3 hours in a car. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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no wonder you're divorced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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no wonder you're stupid. we prefer to spend our lives doing something other than sitting in traffic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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put the kids on a bus or train then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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I'm the OR and I'm not divorced, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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You'll turn the kid into a pawn if you insist dh do all the driving. kids are smart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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depends on more than we know from this post (does the dh have to live where he does? does the dw have long hours at her job that make the extra driving too onerous?) but I would say to split it as evenly as possible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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why can't each drive 45 minutes? just pick a meeting place in the middle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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without a dought dh should do ALL the driving!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:17 PM Flag
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they either meet in the middle or one drops off while the other picks up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 08:26 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone successfully purchase a home with their parents (you, dh, and dc live there, parents do not)? am considering this, but am worried. repost from last night, where everyone said not to do it. wwyd? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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We have a weekend place that way and I'm grateful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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this wld not be a weekend place. wld be our primary residence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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What was the issue last night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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issue is i am worried about privacy and control. we'd be splitting the cost of the house down the middle, and they live 2.5 hrs away. still, i worry that they will want to visit whenever they want and not respect my need for privacy or control over who comes and when. even if they say now that they will respect it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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What exactly is the point (other than sharing costs) of splitting this if you are going to live there and then want to limit their access. Just call it a gift and be done with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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it's not really up to me to call it a gift -- that's up to them -- and they see it as an investment and helping us live somewhere better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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So, you have to be VERY clear on how this is an investment for them. Do they get 1/2 of the proceeds of the capital gains when you sell? When will you sell? Also, that will leave you with less of a dp when you move elsewhere. If you can't work all of these details out they should just help you with the dp and you buy the place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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yes,i've been talking with them about this. the idea is we'd split the proceeds; they're thinking we might sell in 5-7 years and split the money, OR start paying them back for their half/buying them out; or they'd buy us out, depending on who could afford what. feels too vague to me, and yet realistic in the sense that none of us really truly know the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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How could you control when they visit even if they didn't give you money? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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by saying "this isn't a good weekend for us to have company," same option i have now -- not that i ever exercise it, but i feel i have that right now (we rent our home) and i don't know if i would feel i have that right if they own half the house we're living in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Sounds like you want to be told not to do this. Go with your gut. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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This is called a gift. If they don't live there and you do they are giving you a downpayment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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not if their name is on the deed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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My parents helped us buy our house -- DH and I are both teachers and we didn't have the $ and they did! But I trust them and knew that they would hold it over me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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LOL, Freudian. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Nah, I'm just spoiled! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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re-read your post. "They would hold it over me". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Oops!! They DON'T hold it over me. (Their parents did not help them and my dad resents that tremendously -- and sometimes that makes him even more willing to foot the bill!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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Time to grow up and stand on your own feet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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these kinds of answers are so unhelpful. i am grown up and have been standing on my own feet for 20 years. this situation wld help them, too, as they newly have a lot of money and want to invest it as protection against spending all of it (they are not good savers). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Then they should put it in stocks and bonds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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I think you are better off with them "gifting" you the downpayment, and you covering the mortgage and deed only in your name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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ita. why would they insist their name be on deed/mortgage? it would only improve your credit if you'relisted alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know about public beaches in NJ???????? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I know about beaches open to the public but you pay a fee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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the Jersey Shore beaches are wonderful. What do you want to know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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OP- Live in Chatham. Please give me some suggestions on beaches that I can pay and get on with family and not a far drive. Boardwalk a plus but not necessary. many tia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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^It's a day trip so no more than 2 hrs from Chatham. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Sea Girt, Asbury Park, Ocean Grove, Bradley Beach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Point Pleasant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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OP- great - do any of thses have boardwalks? Which is the closest? Again, many tia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Asbury, Ocean Grove, Bradley, Avon keep going all have the boardwalk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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point pleasant has a boardwalk, too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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There a tons of beaches in NJ. Can you be more specific? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Have you not heard of the Jersey Shore beaches, i.e. Point Pleasant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I grew up on the Jersey shore - Point Pleasant is not all that. What's your point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Point? Well she's quite inquisitive about where are beaches in NJ as if she lives far away. There are many many great beaches in NJ and it's surprising that someone living there hasn't a clue of any. Does she talk to her neighbors at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Oh now I get it, you were responding to OP, not to me. Ok then. good point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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sorry, I see I posted in the wrong spot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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OP- You just jumped on an excuse to be mean. My neighbors have summer houses at the beach and I don't want to seem like I"m begging for an invitation so I don't bring up my day-trip idea....Is that okay with you??????????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Excuse me, I'm not being mean. I've been giving you various suggestions in this post. You just are heavy on the ?. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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PP has a boardwalk and rides. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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definitely check out Long Branch -- nice boardwalk with pretty shops and restaurants -- tons of parking... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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OP- thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.24.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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