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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Just got out of the pediatric ward with 6 day old db#1. She was hospitalized for jaundice. Feeling so extremely guilty for trying to breastfeed and not really knowing the whole jaundice and bilirubin situation. Mother is totally blaming me and I just want to throw up. So sad. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 05.26.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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this happens all the time, that's why peds see the baby soon after discharge. it's the ped's job to check, not a brand-new mother's. and if your mom can't say anything helpful, ask her to say nothing at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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well said. ita with this. also, it's very tempting to say "i told you so". especially b/c something like jaundice was much more common and much more dangerous when your mom was having kids. glad it was caught. good luck in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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so what happened? she wasn't feeding enough? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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She was feeding all the time but not getting enough hydration (my milk was not totally in yet). She was putting out diapers but all of a sudden her bilirubin count went up and we had to rush to the hospital. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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so she was feeding and had wet diapers so how would you know anything could be wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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What is your mother blaming you for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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For trying to ebf and not giving the baby formula when she was obviously starving and dehydrated. She called me last night at midnight to make sure that I fed the baby.... Sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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np: She was "obviously starving and dehydrated". Tell your mom to STFU. You kid was eating (normal) and peeing (very normal). How in the name of god could you EVER know something was wrong???? You sound like you did everything the right way, which is great! You need some sleep, a big glass of wine and a break from your mom. Hang in there and job well done on bringing db home! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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please don't feel bad, both of my baby's had jaundice, the first was hospitalized, they wanted to hospitalize the second but I asked them to wait a little and she was fine. It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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yeah, but did you insist on ebf? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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np: EBFing just shows the problem sooner, it doesn't cause jaundice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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PLEASE do not blame yourself. It has nothing to do with EBF'ing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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is everything okay now? that's all that matters. it's not your fault. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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congrats on your new daughter. first dc and first few days are always really tough. get rid of your mom-seriously, if she is staying with you, send her away. and tell your dh or partner that you need them to stand in for you-make them the bad guys. if you are looking to ebf, see a lactation consultant or get to a bf support group (I had gl with the women at realbirth). my 2nd dc was jaundiced-it ended up being fine but scary for a few days. I can imagine how stressful this was for you. gl and congrats on your dd. it is hard but enjoy your new dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] if weather forecast says "scattered thunderstorms" for next weekend in Florida, does that mean our vacation is ruined? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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there are always thunderstorms in FL, they pass quickly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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ty! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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It will scatter every day in the afternoon for the most part during the summer. Follow the blue if you have a car- chances are 10 minutes away it's sunny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:35 PM Flag
[ - ] how old is too old for a nanny? two dcs 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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ours is mid-50s, and i was slightly nervous before i hired her. totally depends on the nanny, i think--i have a toddler and baby, and while our nanny doesn't do some things physically that others might (eg, carry db in the bjorn), she has endless energy, ethusiasm and patience for them. she also has a ton of experience, 4 kids of her own, and does an amazing job with their schedules, healthy meals, teaching them manners, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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op: lol sorry, that was poorly worded. i meant how old are dcs when they are too old for a nanny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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LOL! poster above, and sorry i went on about the wrong thing! mine are young, so i'm not sure, but my sister has a 10yo and 14yo and basically transitioned her nanny to be a f/t housekeeper who also picks the kids up from school and helps with homework. so i guess it depends whether you continue to need f/t help or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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i don't think there's such a thing as too old. i think some kids might get bored. but that also depends on the nanny and the activities she'll do with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:38 AM Flag
[ - ] we had alot of ambitious plans for today but we are just lazing around the apartment drinking wine, dd drawing pictures... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.26.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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It's not too early for wine? I'm getting a glass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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np we finished only 2/3 of our bottle at lunch so time to get my last glass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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it's def too early for booze [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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oh please. go back to the nunnery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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it's never to early for wine -only if you have a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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same. we were going to go to brighton beach and have dumplings and beer at one of the russian places on the pier. i guess we can still make it and watch the sunset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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did that last weekend-- super fun! we had blinis and red caviar [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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mmm... smoked fish, pelmeni and icy vodka on the boardwalk! also sushi, the russians in brighton beach are mad for sushi! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 03:27 PM Flag
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sounds perfect to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:16 PM Flag
[ - ] we had alot of ambitious plans for today but we are just lazing around the apartment drinking wine, dd drawing pictures... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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drinking wine in the middle of the day? ew [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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we do it every weekend. it rocks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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very drunkard of you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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whatever you say sanctimommy. I enjoy my wine. I'm no soccer mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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ok great. GL to your dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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you're alkie mom if you do this every weekend. let me guess, you don't like car seats, holding hands when crossing the street or waiting to give db solids either, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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lovely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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ita. gross. is this ghetto mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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Me too -- but I couldn't sleep and have been up since 5-ish (so I'm awake, but a zombie). I had a medical procedure done on Friday and can't shower, so my hair is a big grease-ball (which also makes me not want to be out and about). Watching TV and vegging out and then planning to take a sleeping pill and turn in early tonight. Exciting stuff, I know! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] due to a deep anger and unhappiness, i'm finally motivated to make some changes in my life. so for those who actually have done this, how many hours a day of housework does it take to really get a house running in order? i'm thinking a minimum of one good hour a day. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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i do one big cleaning day a week and then make an effort to maintain on a daily basis (pick up glasses and towels, wipe off sinks, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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how much time do yo uspend on a daily basis? is it 15 minutes or 60 minutes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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i have no idea, i just kind of do things as i go. closer to 15 i think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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^^i am OR from above. i have one dc who is 3 mo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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op: thanks. i have three dc and i think it'll be closer to the 60 the other responder said. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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at least 60. I have 3 dcs and by the time I load/unload dishwasher, etc. the time adds up. Also, I can't stand much clutter so am constantly picking stuff up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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i'm thinking it'll take 60 minutes. there's just so much to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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I just started doing this -- and, right now, I need 2+ hours to "deep clean" a 2 BR apt.(Swiffer, vacuum, mirrors, etc.). I hoping that I get faster with practice! I do think that "daily maintenance" is key -- clean up before bed, don't leave dishes in the sink, do a quick daily bathroom clean, etc. I spend up to an hour on this each day (some days are messier than others). The FlyLady website is crowded and can be a bit much, but has some good tips (I follow the "shine your sink" rule). GL -- it will become habit and you won't want to go back to your old habits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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i'm not concerned as much with the deep cleaning. it's the maintenance that i'm wondering about. things like dishes, laundry, keepign rooms straightened, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Gotcha. I work FT, so I tend to do it in the PM, all at once. (Nanny keeps apt. reasonably clean, but I come in with the mail and dry cleaning and DH leaves his coat out and doesn't load the D/W and it builds up!!) I do laundry on Sundays and it takes a while (but I'm particular about it). If you can stomach it, take a look at the FlyLady site -- it helped me strategize. (I need every minute in the AM, so I don't tidy up that much in the AM -- but if I were home, I would.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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thanks. i work half days but my job will be over soon so i'll have even more time. but i'm starting to realize that it'll take more time then i thought. between dishes and laundry and crumbs and toys, it's a lot of work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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I think you just have to clean up and do housework as you go along. Wipe off the bathroom sinks after you shower or wash your hands, wipe down the kitchen after every meal, pick up dc's toys/clothes/books before naps and at bedtime, clear up all clutter before you go to bed at night. Maybe it's because I woh f/t and have a toddler and db, but I can't imagine having a solid hour a day where I do nothing but housework--it's all done in little bits, all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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i wonder if you added up all those bits of time how much time you really spend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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it's probably an hour, but i just meant i can't imagine having a full hour--say from 8-9pm--to do nothing but clean. you just need to do it as you go along. so some days it's probably 30 min and others it's probably 2 hours. but i get most of it done while home with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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check out flylady.net. It's hokey, but motivating and a great resource for getting organized about cleaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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i keep hearing about her. i've never seen her site though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:49 AM Flag
[ - ] ttc and had sex last night, today i have a lot of cramping. just my head playing tricks on me? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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maybe, maybe not. i had lots of cramping the month I conceived but I thought i must be imagining it. it lasted for several days for me, very mild. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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interesting! thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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you're welcome - good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:19 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm 1 week post-partum, and my back is KILLING me. Ten times worse than during pregnancy. Is this normal? I remember my back hurting a lot when I had db #1, too. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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how long was labor and did you spend it in bed? i had an induction and spent over 24 hours in bed and my back was killing me after. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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ice pack [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] We're starting cio tonight for 6.5 mo ds. Tell me the worst that's gonna happen. I'm not being a downer prematurely, I just want to brace myself. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 05.26.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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I suppose the worse is that he cries for 2 hours. I was so expecting a scenario like that, but then dd only cried 20 minutes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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ds is something of a crier by nature. i asked around, wondering if anyone else had erberized a fussy db, but didn't get an answer... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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I was so scared b/c dd was so incredibly fussy. She would cry for almost an hour while we rocked her to sleep - sometimes more. So she actually cried less during CIO than during our previous sleep routine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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our first db not only cried for close to an hour at bedtime, but then woke up several times during the night and cried--once for a long stretch. that was the worst night. i actually think it's because we started with ferber (controlled crying). we did weissbluth (extinction) the next night, and it was so much better. but all dbs are different--my 2nd barely cried at all when we did cio. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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thanks, I'm making myself crazy worrying about it. Extinction is just, close the door and re-enter in the moring? arrggghhh, I don't want to do this! but we have too, db is not getting enough sleep and we are getting almost none at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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CRUEL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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no, really--- what is your opinion on the matter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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figure out a less traumatic way to get db to sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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^^^^evidence we are not sleeping, my numerous spelling and gramatical errors! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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everyone's different, but ferber did not work AT ALL with our db--coming in every 5, 10, 15, etc, minutes just got her worked up. assure yourself that db is comfortable, safe, not hungry, etc., and just don't go back in. the crying may sound awful but, as with many others, my dcs end up doing a lot LESS crying over sleep than just about anyone else i know. i have a 2.5yo and a 8mo and they each sleep 11-12 hours straight a night, and go down easily for naps. they're happy, well adjusted kids. i, personally, think it's far more important to make sure your kids are well rested than worry about a little crying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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it's most important to make your dbs feel loved and secure than to ignore their crying for you so you can force them to pass out in exhaustion (aka "learn to sleep"- BS) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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i completely disagree with you. except for the parents i know who had dbs who slept easily from the start, no need to sleep training, every parent i know who didn't do CIO has a problem sleeper at least for several years. and all of those kids get less sleep and lower quality sleep than my kids do. depriving your child of adequate sleep is like depriving them of adequate nutrition--it's irresponsible parenting. every parent i know who martyrs him or herself by never doing CIO and happily getting up with their kids every night is doing their kids a disservice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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you are just jealous bc you are too weak to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 02:14 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 39 wks pg and having a lot more BH contractions, cramping down low, am achy in my thighs. Does this mean I'm getting close? It's #1 for me. I'd be happy to go another month, I'm so scared to have a newborn, but just wondering how much this all means. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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Dumb as this sounds, real contractions feel NOTHING like BHs. When you're actually in labor, trust me: you'll know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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i don't think i'm in labor now, just wondering if this means it's close [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:08 AM Flag
[ - ] if i am a size 2 suit pant in banana republic, what size will i be in jcrew? 4? 6? tia. buying online. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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2 probably. BR sizing is all over the place for me though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Feeling bad. I have a 4 1/2 yo and a 2 1/2 yo and they both drive me crazy, even when they're not doing anything particularly bad. I find that my patience is always thin and I can snap at the smallest thing. And I hate myself for it but I can't seem to stop. Maybe it's because they're both in semi-difficult phases at the moment and I don't do well when my world is a little bit rocked. But still. Anyone BTDT? FWIW, I have some help and they are in school PT so it's not like it's all me 24/7. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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are you stressed in other aspects of your life? or is it just with respect to your dc that you are snappy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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From what I can tell, it's only my DCs (and occasionally DH but generally not) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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I feel like I am so uncreative with them, you know? I feel like they already watch too much TV and therefore it shows how little oomph I have. DH is very good with them, always taking them outside to plant things, work in the yard, just be goofy. But with me we're either crashed inside or on the move, running errands just to be out of the house. I can't just BE with them, or relax. And I can't figure out why. It's like sometimes I can't wait for the day to end or for them to grow up. And then the fact that I feel that way makes me feel bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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you sound like you are in a rut. try some new ways of communicating with them and being with them. ask dh for ideas. or read some books or try therapy. I have seen parents have personality clashes with their kids...they are too much alike or too diferent to relate, but you can snap out of it if you are aware and try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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It's a lot easier to do stuff with one than with two. Take some of the time you have help, and unload one of the kids. Go out and do something with the other. The 4-year-old is big enough to tag along on stuff *you* like to do, so plan on some of that. Museums? Shopping? Lunch at a restaurant? Wandering through the park? Something that's about you that you can share with the kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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They are tough ages to really do stuff, even playing board games is almost impossible at this age. You can try painting--get a big piece of paper and have them trace their bodies and then paint, etc. Making brownies is always good too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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couple of ideas. some for dcs and some for you, to get you out of the rut. for dcs, you can get some books of stickers (ac moore has them for $1), some sidewalk chalk. get fingerpaints or those color with water books. get a package of balloons. these are all cheap and small things. you can put them in a drawer somewhere and whenever you see dcs getting antsy, you can just go to the drawer, pull something out, and it's a great diversion. the next thing i'll suggest is just something that worked for me, i don't know if it'd work for you. i started getting out with dcs relatively early. no tv in the morning. they can play, get dressed, eat, read books, etc. Then we go outside, burn a lot of energy, maybe make a trip to a variety store or a deli to buy a drink or a florist to pick a flower. then we come home and they are happy to play inside, eat lunch, nap, chill, etc. we only watch tv in the late afternoons. and then we can go outside again for a short period. i find that the alternating in and out of the house is better. and getting out earlier is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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are you a sahm? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:08 AM Flag
[ - ] do you believe in the evil eye? that if you talk about good things in front of some people, that they somehow jinx it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.26.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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what in the world...? are you an Italian grandmother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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not at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.26.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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