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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I had my heart set on public, but am having second thoughts now. I live on the UES. What are some good privates to tour (not the ones that are impossible to get in)? TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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You should even tour the ones that are impossible to get into. I did, and am very happy that I did. Girl or boy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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boy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 08:00 PM Flag
[ - ] is fendi still in? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] This is heavy. I believe my younger brother is a molester. This is based on his behavior as a child, my parents took him to counseling as a teen but I'm not sure if that has done anything. I don't have any proof, but he now has a child and I'm really scared. I also have a child and my family is always saying, "Yay when you come here you can go out and relax and we'll take care of the baby!" No way am I letting him be alone with my child. I have nightmares about him harming a child. Should I say something to the family, to him? Sometimes when I call home and my parents don't call me back right away I immediatly think "he's been caught" and they're dealing with that. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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what on earth? why do you suspect your younger brother is a pedophile? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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OP: It's just something in my gut. I can't explain it. As a child he kind of predatory towards younger kids and was caught abusing at least one that was several years younger. My family got him in counseling and I've never heard about it again. At the same time, I went away to college and moved across the country, so who knows what I don't know about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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how old was he at the time of this incident? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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wow. i wouldn't leave your child with him, but i also wouldn't call and ask. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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very odd- what do you base this on - if he's not then your feelings are really really damaging [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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OP: You're right, it is damaging but I can't shake this feeling in my gut. He's a great guy, very sweet, and my family thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. At the same time I feel like he's guarded, there is a side of him no one knows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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OP: I think the biggest thing is, my mother wants to watch my dd when I fly home. I have a gathering to go to with old friends and I really want to say to my mom, "Don't leave her alone with my brother." But I don't want her to ask why and then we get into an argument or a discussion. (He lives with my parents by the way.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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np: Is he old enough that he should be living on his own? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, he's 23. He's seriously a slacker with no ambition. He takes odd jobs here and there but nothing substantial [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Okay, but I was afraid you were going to say 35. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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and he has a kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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this sounds familiar. did you post about him before? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 02:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Doctor prescribed 1.5ml of axid for my 5wk old with reflux. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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It was really hard to get my DB to take that. I had to break down and give formula, so I could mix it in and hide the godawful taste. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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<op: it seems like alot, now that I have it in the dropper. Is this a normal dose? anyone out there with experience with axid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Posted above about trying to give the giant doses. The good news is that it REALLY worked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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great to know!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] saline infused sonogram. will it hurt? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:13 PM Flag
[ - ] ERB - to prep or not to prep. Fess up - did you and how did DC do? 61 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.11.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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We decided not to. I'm so the type to get caught and Ds's school advised us not to. I'm worried that someone might have a bridge to sell me though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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OP - I feel like DD would totally rat us out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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hire a tutor - seriously [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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But how do get passed the tester asking DC if s/he has ever played these types of games before? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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There's nothing wrong with having done these types of games before. What is usually the red flag to testers is WHO DC plays these games with. If it's Mom, Dad, or my babysitter, then fine. If it's "my tutor" then yes - big problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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I disagree with the poster above me. It's more complicated than just who the dc does the games with, and dc doesn't need to say anything for the tester to know; they can tell from dc's behavior and performance. If the tester sees signs of prepping, it'll be noted on the report. But they don't come right out and say, "I suspect the dc has been prepped." It's subtle, but the schools know how to read between the lines. For instance, the tester always comments on whether the dc listened carefully to the directions before beginning the tasks. If dc just jumps right in and still performs well, the tester will comment that the dc seemed familiar with the tasks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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do you know this for a fact, that they don't come out and say it? Because seeming "familiar with the tasks" sounds pretty subtle. Would the admissions people pick that up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.08.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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I really want to hire someone to do ERB prep with my DC. Any suggestions? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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define prep. sending dc to preschool, reading to dc, doing puzzles, etc, yes. grilling and tutoring dc-no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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^^96 (2 years ago). younger dc to go through process next year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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I will define it as: Hiring a tutor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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no. 96 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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OK [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.02.12, 05:06 PM Flag
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No prep, great teachers, we read a lot and ignore her a lot - 96 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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prep would have\ given her a 98 or 99 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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It probably would have, but she got into out FC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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^^^^ our [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Great teachers usually means that your preschool does prep-like work in the program, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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No, it means that they are great teachers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.08.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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No prep. Dc watched a ton of TV if that counts. 99 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Funny you should say this - ours watches a ton of PBS, also got a 99 with no prep. There's a lot of good stuff on sesame street/Word World, etc. that certainly isn't hurting this cause. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Actually funny anecdote--I remember when we attended the Hunter admissions open house and the PTA president described the kids and said "they love to spend time watching TV" My tv-loving daughter scored 99 and got in to Hunter. I have actually heard that for very young kids to actual understand a tv program is a sign of intelligence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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What about brain quest, mighty mind, etc. Are these considered prepping? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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No. Hiring OT/psychologist is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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What about using a teacher, not a psych? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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I think hiring anyone is prepping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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no prep. dc took as a young 4 over the summer because we figured he was such a smart, verbal kid, why wait. also felt no need to prep. dc never had shown an interest in puzzles or art. should have realized that meant he probably was not yet doing much with visuospatial stuff developmentally yet. score was 99 verbal (highest possibel, hence supporting our feeling he was a smart, verbal kid); 76 performance (should have realized) and 95 overall. ended up at TT nonetheless. later took SB and scored 99.9 (6 months later). later re-took erbs just to see if performance score had improved, and he was 99x3. guess the TT school could see he was smart, and took a chance on him despite his low performance sub tests. so you never know. if I had it to do over again, I might have pushed visuospatial stuff like puzzles to see if I could rush the development along...or maybe I wouldn't. maybe it would have made no difference since he wasn't ready for that stuff yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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I'm sure it was obvious from his playdate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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yes, and a number of months had passed by the time he interviewed. also psd discussed sb results taken in the fall with the schools who had concerns about the split. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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boy or girl? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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Good thing I wasn't UB'ing the months before DC took test (last year) - or I may have been tempted to try to practice with workbooks, etc. Being on the boards now I feel like I was a bit naive. My prep was going to be getting DC to sleep by 9pm for the few weeks before test since his bedtime had slipped to 10pm. I thought he'd test in Oct or November but he took the test w/o notice in September, so we hadn't even started the new bedtime routine. DC scored 99V/99P. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Just the normal stuff. Lots of reading her whole life, plus workbooks (because she likes them and because she needed some practice on the fine-motor aspect of things) and a fair amount of games and puzzles last summer before she took the test in the fall. 99. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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What are 'workbooks'? Can you give examples? TIA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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The Kindergarten Zone ones were good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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We did not, and dd got a 99. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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No prep. 96. Got into FC school. Scores were also amazingly even, which I am told schools like more than anything else (subsets ranged from 91 to 99, scores were 95/95/96). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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Which school may I ask? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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No prep, 84. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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btw, sb was 96 and erb a few years later were 99.9 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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No prep beyond lots of talking and reading to dc. Got the fabled 99x3 score. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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Yes we got some help getting DD ready for her ERB's and she did great. Even though they keep trying to tell us that you can't prepare for it since it is an IQ test, it actually seems like a skills test for the most part, so I say prep, prep, prep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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Do not prep! This is HUGE! I know 3 kids who are caught prepping by the tester. You may be ruined all your effort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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no prep. 97. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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Can you please share how these kids were caught by the tester? I'm planning on prepping this fall, and I want to know how to prevent that happening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Just don't prep. It is cheating! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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Some kids tell tester(or tester ask kids) they previously played "this kind of game". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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MANY kids have these kinds of games. And there is nothing odd about that. This does not come off as a problem, or the child and parents "cheaters". Just comes off as caring parents who like to work with their children on skills. Nothing wrong with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Ah - there's the true response. To you it's not about whether kids can be helped do better - it's just that you have resentment towards kids who step over yours due to having been prepped. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Yes, that folks with money who can afford tutors, preppers, etc. have advantages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.08.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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np. I posted above. Your dc doesn't have to say anything for the tester to figure it out. They can tell from the dc's behavior as much as anything else. And the tester will never come right out and say they think the dc has been prepped, but there are comments they can make that the schools know how to interpret. They'll take an extra close look at dc during the playdate, and if what they see doesn't mesh with the ERB scores, you're toast. Ditto for dc's preschool report. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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But if the child is prepped, child will do well at the playdates too. It's basically the same skills they're looking for at school playdates as are on the ERB test. Being "familiar" with these activites and skills is not wrong - at all. Most of the TT preschools do all of this stuff repeatedly with their three and four year-olds. Those kids are the most "prepped" in the city. But for kids who are at sweet play-based preschools, make no mistake - they need prepping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Can you explain exactly what happened? And were those children shut out of schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.01.12, 06:34 PM Flag
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Prep for sure. Depends on the age what is appropriate. For the youngest you want to be sure they separate from you well when beginning the test and can hold a pencil. As they get older they actually need to know things - math, reading comp, vocab, captial of Greece. It is not only an IQ test no matter what anyone tells you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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studies show that for older kids (over the age of 8)prep effects scores very very little, except in block design. Smart kids do well. Other do less well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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^^^^fwiw, starting in 2nd grade and through admissions for 5th grade, the erb does ad one achievement component: the CTP reading comprehension test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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What you are suggesting is not "test prep." BTW, how did your admissions season go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Good to know we have different opinions of preparation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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My 8 year old just took the erb and did not mention block design - but did mention she did not know the captial of Greece. Every child should have an idea of what they are going to be expected to do and what will happen - this is prep. I fail to understand how informing your child of these things will not in the least make the exam a less stressful experience. When is being prepared for and exam NOT a good thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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I think what you metioned is being "prepared"....but it isn't studying for an iq test. Reading comp is worth doing a few worksheets as it is achievement based. The quesiton you mention (and was mentioned by my dd as well) is part of general information...unless you have the test questions nfornt of you , you can't "prep" for it. Having a kid who reads, alot, in a well-rounded manner, like many high IQ kids, will help [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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I am confused to the difference in "being prepared" and "preparing for" a test. Or am I missing your point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Show dc the example questions on the ERB website so they are familiar with the style of the questions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.01.12, 07:12 PM Flag
[ - ] My husband is having a mid-life crisis about moving out of the city. I don't know how to help him. He is defined by the city and cannot get over the horror of moving to the burbs. It's getting ridiculous. What can I do? 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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stay? move to a good zone and reapply? why move to the burbs if its that important to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Cannot afford the city -- or rather, cannot tolerate the lack of space in the city with 2 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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ah...well that is a different question. then I guess you are forcing your dh to move to a place he would hate for extra space. assuming your dcs are very young, I would just say that the space issue gets better as they get older and need less stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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so you made him move because of YOUR need of more space? did you guys discuss this thoroughly and came to agree on something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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where are you moving? we moved recently, i felt the same way for a few months, like i'd lost my identity, but then all of a sudden i felt so much better and now i don't look back at all. the city sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Thank you for your nice optimistic message! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Tell him he needs to make more money if he really wants to stay. Its pretty simple. NYC is an expensive place and affording the have kids here with a reasonable amount of space, schools, etc. is a LUXURY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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hey, I think OP should give up a little space and raise her family here. sort of unfair to make dh so miserable, and definitely unfair of you to put the responsibility for $$$ on her dh as if he's a failure of a man for not providing enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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UB DWs are especially sexist. many SAHMs who feel their men should be the providers, and if they are not bringing home the big bucks, they have no say and are punished and moved to the burbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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so true. for all their leftist politics, for Ubers, feminism has gone by the wayside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:57 PM Flag
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the OP is a worthless sack of sh!t. doesn't bring in a penny to the house, has high expectations about setting the rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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except that we have no idea how little space she is talking. maybe we're talking a really small apartment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Brooklyn baby... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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No Brooklyn. Just can't do it. Just as expensive as the city and more inconvenient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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wow! your DH is going to hate you one day if he doesn't already [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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OMG are you kidding? She's right. The commute is just as long as from many real suburbs where you get some grass and a real house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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Name a real suburb where you get grass and a spacious house and the commute to wall street area is less than half an hour. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Can you move to Queens or Bkyln so it's a good compromise for both? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I'm on his side. Why do you need to move? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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Saying they live in the city props up many a person's ego. It is tough to meet someone for the first time and tell them you live in NJ. But it is so freeing to let go of the striving and just relax. After dinner last night I took my kids for a bike ride around the neighborhood for 20 minutes. So easy and pleasant. Pick a suburb that's close enough to the city that you actually can spend a lot of time there. Like Montclair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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you may need to listen to him - it will NOT be worth the extra space if he is miserable and has less time with dcs because of commuting. I have btdt - we left for 4 years because it is what we thought we 'should' do - misery - hard on our marriage; we are back now and relish every day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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This was our experience too. (except I did the commuting, not dh). its miserable. We're back. I also don't think city living needs to mean "striving". Live within your means, and learn to be happy with what you have. But for me that def means in the city! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I also think that when you honestly budget everything out... living in the city is not that much/any more expensive. It is just different things you spend your money on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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you people are so funny. yes, when you compare the city to the UB approved suburbs, then it's probably equally as expensive, but there are many places all over the tri-state area where it is much, much cheaper to live in the suburbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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Only if you compare them to the UB UWS/UES rat race. I live in a middle class neighborhood in Brooklyn. My housing costs are less than my suburban relatives (by the time you factor in their property taxes, etc.) My transportation costs are $81/month. I have no car payment. And I am less than twenty minutes door to door to Wall St. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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Depending what kind of housing you live in Brooklyn, your condo maintenance costs could be very high in comparison to regular home maintenance costs in a suburb. It's not a black or white issue. Everyone is jumping all over the OP when none of us have the facts about their apt. size vs. the size of the suburban home they want, where dh works, schooling situation. There's a lot to consider. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:16 AM Flag
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We have a two family home. There are no maintenance fees. Just the mortgage and the kind of stuff you would have anywhere. With the added bonus of rental income which pays about 40% of the mortgage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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That's great for you. Not everyone in Brooklyn has this situation, not everyone is cut out to be a landlord. I live in Jersey City and have 2 tenants above me, I have a lot of space and don't feel the need to go to the suburbs. But many of the people I know through my kids can't afford the kind of space they need w/ growing families anywhere but the suburbs. And everyone jumping all over this OP like she's making crazy demands is just silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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If OP had just said, "Thinking about moving to the burbs..." I would have said nothing. But she called her husband "ridiculous", said he was having a "mid-life crisis", and is presenting this as if he has no right to not want to leave the city. I think that several people here are trying to point out that between a closet in Gramercy Park and a ranch in Suffolk County there is a lot of in between. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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oh absolutely there is a lot of in between, but OP sounds very frustrated and gave no details about their current situation. Everyone is jumping all over her, but perhaps her DH really is being ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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I'll defer until she posts back. I just find her choice of vocabulary telling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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^^^ Sorry, wanted a hard return not to post yet.... I think it is fair to say that parts of this thread are more global than just OP's original post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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we moved to a small city in the south - 2 cars, lawn guy, country club, misc. house crap each month - it all adds up; plus we would have done private school there and are now doing public - when you factor that in it is definitley almost a wash for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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Which is exactly the point that a few of us are making here. Cost of living in nyc CAN be really high. But if you live practically (don't get me wrong, I have a great life and do lots of fun stuff) if you live practically, you don't need to make seven figures to be happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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np: right but you can live practically in the suburbs too and forgo some extras like country club memberships. And still save lots of money in comparison to your city lifestyle, and maybe just enjoy a little more space to spread out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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In all honesty, while you could gain space -- I don't think you would save "lots of money" in comparison with my city lifestyle. Granted, I bought my home at the perfect time in the NYC housing market -- Mid 2001 -- but not having to have two car payments, two car insurances, sky high property taxes, etc. The difference is not so big. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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And perhaps, you are only thinking of the approved UB suburbs that have sky high property taxes. I wouldn't move to a suburb w/ crazy taxes. I know someone who lives in Tenafly and pays $40K in taxes - I wouldn't choose that, but there are other places I would choose if I had make a decision to cut expenses and live in the suburbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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My brother and SIL moved to burbs ten years ago for space and grass. He is gone before they get up, home to put them to bed (if lucky), and spends half his Saturday mowing the lawn, etc. Funny thing is, she bitches more than him about how much she hates the burbs/misses the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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I'm w/ dh. I want short commute and time with family. I don't want more space to clean, heat, and maintain. My dcs have Riverside Park and Central Park as their backyard. I can't let them go unsupervised, but that means I spend more time w/ them. You need space in the suburbs to get away from each other. In the city, you have the entire city to entertain you outside your door. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I think that it really depends on the space we're talking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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First of all, stop defining your husband's very reasonable feelings as "ridiculous" or a "mid-life crisis" -- this kind of characterization does not help your argument. Maybe first, address what his issues are. Did you guys discuss this before you got married? had kids? etc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.12.08, 09:00 AM Flag
[ - ] If you know the DOA of an ongoing through a family member of theirs would you reach out to them (the DOA) as you embark on the nightmare of the ongoing process? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.11.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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How about: "PLEASE ACCEPT OUR CHILD. PLEEEEEEEEASE!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Your own family member or your BIL's friend or something? I would be very careful about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I am quite friendly with a nuclear family member of a DOA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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so ask the nuclear family member. as a member of a nuclear family myself, i can tell you that those relationships can be complicated and changeable ;) You certainly shouldn't reach out to the DOA without the permission of the nuclear family member with which you are "quite friendly." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Friend said I should but friend has a newborn and hasn't been introduced to the hell known as ongoing admissions so I thought I'd ask the wise sages of UB. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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well if you have the blessing of friend, by all means use her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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only if you knew you would send dc there. don't burn a bridge [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Would definitely send DC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I would ask your friend what to do. you love school, would send dc there, what advice do they have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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prepared to be asked if that school is your 1st choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Just got dc's 5th grade scores, and dc scored 4s in both ELA and math. Does anyone know if that is good enough to be asked to test for Hunter next year? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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They won't tell you until the fall but 95% yes with two 4s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Talking out of my *** here, but isn't there a composite score cutoff? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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don't know, but we didn't get any scores yet in our school. Did anyone else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Renting a beach house for the summer, do you think it's okay to give the rental address for deliveries, should I check with the owners first? Thanks 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.11.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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like what sort of deliveries? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Want to buy some weights and also a few things for db [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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i think it is fine. unless there is something in your paperwork stating no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:13 PM Flag
[ - ] DH here, any questions? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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would you like a playstation 3 and GTA for Father's Day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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ohh.. sounds pretty good. I'm dieing to play the new GTA. Plus you can use it as a blueray DVD player [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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DH is also pining for it. The whole debate has been Xbox or Playstation 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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op: I hear ya. I was going to mention the x-box. x-box has more games, but I hear that PS3 is gaining traction. I like the idea that you can use the blue ray player/ so it's duel purpose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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Slight hijack - how much is PS3? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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op: no idea actually.. I think ~$400 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Drat. A little over budget. Thx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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op: otherwise a bj will work too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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Hmmm... maybe I will go overbudget. :)* [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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op: exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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or: I think that's about right. This will be a combo father's day-birthday gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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op: is this board dead tonight or what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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dead. I disappeared to go order the PS3 and only a few new posts since then. It's sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is handsome, funny, creative and is better and mroe involved with our kids than anyone I know. BUT he's the worst communicator ever and I'm way smarter. Sometimes I think I'd give just about anything for someone who was more of a challenge. More successful, someone who put me to task more, who I could have real, live discussions about real things with. I have DH lite, I think. I adore him but I feel like I'm missing the passion and intensity that could only exist with someone who was more...complicated. I should get over myself and count my blessings, right? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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you should have an affair to get it out of your system [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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You know what life is like with a complicated person? Fucking complicated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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But I'm not joking, btdt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Yikes. If you really love him, you've got to stop thinking like this. "The rest of your life" is a really long time and the longer you wish for this, the more you might convince yourself there is someone better out there. I think you are just doing "the grass is always greener" - who REALLY wants complicated?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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op: Thanks. Helpful so far. I know I'm being crazy. Just looking for someone to tell me the meaning of life, I guess. And to keep me on my toes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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worst commuinicator? maybe you need to improve your ability to "read" in *his* communication style. way smarter? maybe he is smarter in different ways than you are. what areas does he have knowledge / skills in that you don't? if you don't know, find out. when has he surprised you by knowing something you didn't or something you didn't think he knew? I give these suggestions because I can relate with you on this, but a change of perspective / reality-check always helps... don't convince yourself you "know" him, just because he is a simple guy. there is always more. make it your task to look / listen more deeply than you have been, and you may find yourself falling more in love (or just feeling more appreciative of what you have). this is the same advice I give myself when I feel this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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I'm just reading this response now. you're a wise woman. thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.15.08, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] any freelance writers on? how much would you charge for writing biz plans, ad copy, web site copy, brochures, etc.? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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DH charges $650-750/day, sometimes will negotiate a flat fee (with strict # of rewrites, # of pages, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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wow - your DH must be a true pro or be able to crank out copy. i'm a slacker when it comes to my writing... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] $1.15mm 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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I'll see your $1.15 MM and raise you $500 M [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Why do men watch sporting events when they know the outcome? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.11.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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hmm, are we married to the same dh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Is he currently watching the 2006 World Cup? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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oh, no. though, to be fair, I could watch the 1980 Olympic Hockey games again and again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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Seminal events, yes. Random baseball games on ESPN classic? Not so much! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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my dh may ask why i watch the hills repeats though too. touche [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 07:03 PM Flag
[ - ] why do i love seaweed salad so much? i could dive into a vat of it and eat my way out. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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that's how i feel about red licorice and jolly ranchers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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