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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Anyone else keeps getting logged out when you want to reply to posts? It drives me nuts as anytime I try to reply UB asks me to log in again. Help! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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Same happens to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Did you try closing your browser and reopening it? I find I can respond to everything so far today and yesterday (using Firefox). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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the closing the browser isn't working for me... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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It's a glitch for everyone, randomly. You just have to use your back arrow and reply to the original post. Annoying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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np: yes, it's very random. the easiest thing is to hit the back button and answer another part of the post. sometimes it's the op, sometimes it's one of the responses. it's very weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:32 AM Flag
[ - ] I would like to get people's opinion. I know I am very lucky - my mother married a very wealthy man 8 years ago. She is very generous and helps us with our Nanny payments, down payment on house, etc. My husband feels that she should give us more (e.g. $1.0M - its nothing when considering his net worth) to help us with things like renovations, etc.) I am just grateful for what we get. We are not free-loading kids - we both work with over $200K plus jobs. What would you think - should I expect more from her and my stepfather or be grateful. My husband's arguement is that he's so wealthy it is a meaningless amount to them. Not trying to brag - this is an ongoing debate in our family and I'd like some thoughts from unbiased party. 45 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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I think your dh sounds gross, personally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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I think you should be grateful because they don't owe you both anything. Your dh sounds selfish and spoiled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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You are not entitled to a cent. Your dh should be VERY grateful for getting anything at all. To expect more seems really off to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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your dh is so Wrong. He sounds entitled and this really bothers me. You are right. Be grateful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Your husband is a child. This isn't your dad we're talking about, it's a step-father that married your mom when you were an adult. He probably wasn't expecting that he was going to help you live the high life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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ITA! How very strange for DH to expect her/stephusband to give you guys anything (especially with $200K+ jobs ?!?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Wow. Just wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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be grateful for what you have - you and your dh are not entitled to your stepfather's money by any means. I have a similar situation and my mom is generous - but on the other hand i also want her to enjoy her retirement and not have to worry about $ later on...your dh really needs to butt out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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he shouldn't expect anything - weird that he would. just because your stepdad has that much to give away, it could do something really good - feed the hungry rather than go toward your renovations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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^you and your dh are doing well on your own anyway. why would this even occur to your dh? and you aren't your stepdad's blood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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OP: I appreciate everyone's responses; if I said the step-father was a billionaire and considering giving money away to charity would that change anyones opinion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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it should go to the charity - i'm the replier just above this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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No. It's his money to do what he likes with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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not in the least. he should be giving money to charity, not to two people who make in the top 2% income bracket who aren't related. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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exactly - OP and her DH don't need the money like a charity does! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Absolutely not. It is his money to give to whoever he wants. if he figures out your DH is a golddigger you may end up with nothing. BTW, does he have his own children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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OP: yes and treats us consistently the same so no favoratism to step or actual. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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not at all... you are not a charity. you are two successful adults and his giving away to a charity is honorable. your DH sounds like a petulant child who feels deserving of what is not his or yours... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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I think this question indicates that you may have been "brainwashed" by DH... Are you seriously implying that you should get the money before a deserving charity ?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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this post makes me sick - my mom married a relatively wealthy man when i was about 30 yo and he was so generous to me and loved my mom; i never ever expected anything as I was grown by the time they were married. he was killed in a plane crash and we have been heartbroken ever since - i could care less about the $ and we would do anything to have him back. your dh needs some serious perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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if you and dh were struggling, i could see where this might come up. but you aren't - you're doing well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Seriously, he has gotten flamed but the only thing you dh could suggest is that he contributes to his new step grandkids 529 funds. Possibly he could discuss estate planning and the value of outright gift giving vs paying death taxes but that would be in the context of discussing his will - are you all close enough to have that discussion? Does you mom's husband have kids of his own? Then assume anything/everything is going to them & hope your mom is taken care of. There is no way your step dad should pony up for your house renovations just because "he could". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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np - I agree with you, but I'm assuming the stepdad is pretty financially saavy if he has this much wealth and he's probably thought of the usual gifts grandparents (using the term loosely) make [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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I have to ask, how long have you been married? Your dh wasn't expecting to marry into a really rich family was he? He sounds like a gold digger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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OP: no, nothing like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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What the F happened to being responsible for yourself as an adult? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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If I were your stepdad and found out how ungrateful dh was, I would cut you off entirely, so be careful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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ITA with all the comments here that your DH is at best greedy...or at least it sounds that way. The level of the stepdad's wealth really doesn't matter...you're not teenagers, you are adults and should behave that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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totally OUTRAGEOUS sense of entitlement on the part of your DH. And his (or your?) argument that he should give money to you instead of charity is just gross. It doesn't "change" the situation, like you're wondering, it just exposes the callousness even more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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DH is way way out of line... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Dh needs to just learn to be grateful. What does he do for your step father? He should give a little bit of himself back to show his gratitude in a genuine way rather than just expecting more more more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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Any sense of entitlement is sad in my opinion - no matter who is expecting and who they're expecting it from. Your dh is making himself miserable when he should be grateful about his life. He's no better than someone sitting around with no job expecting the government to take care of him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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Sounds like your dh has a sense of entitlement. Just wondering how much his family is contributing toward the need to renovate the house? I think he should just smile and say thank you. I am living through a somewhat situation except that it is a df not a step father and the step mother would be happy to see us get nothing so she had $$$$$$$$ all for herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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I bet you're a Y mom with the SUV to drop kids off [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you for everyone's reply. As mentioned in opening - I feel very grateful. I'm not going to make excuses for my husband but say we have the discussion internally only. This helps our last discussion which was to ask others opinion - and in this forum a very unbiased one. Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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you make 1/2 million a year and are looking for handouts from your STEPfather. gross, gross, gross. your dh makes me sick. you sound more levelheaded, but I personaly don't know how you live with this man... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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Your husband is a freeloader. If I were the wealthy father-in-law, your DH had better be giving major oral pleasure in exchange for a million bucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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Wow! In my many UB years, I think this is the first time I've ever seen so many replies that all concur! WOW! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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be content w/what she gives and move on. Never ask for more IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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I am not sure what you mean by 'should give us more'. Why should he? You are adults making an income, right??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Your mother and her stepmother have no obligation to give you anything. The only thing you should expect from your mom is love and emotional support. Everything else is gravy. Tell your dh he is a greedy, superficial pig. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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is this why your dh married you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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It occurs to me as I read this post - do you have a pre-nup? If not you might want to consult an attorney - I would be concerned if my dh had this attitude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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smart post... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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Since he is so generous perhaps he can send some cash my way. TIA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 01:13 PM Flag
[ - ] My assistant lost her Father 8 months ago and I would like to get her something today becasue I think Sunday will be hard for her. Any ideas? TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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that's so nice of you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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Maybe flowers. I'm not sure what else would be appropriate. It's nice you are thinking of her feelings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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That really is nice of you. I think that I would do chocolates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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a card and some candy? or some token of something she'd like. and yeah, really nice thing to do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
[ - ] I am in a serious RUT. My job is a dead end one yet pays well. I am 38 yrs old, 1 db and have NO direction. I want to set goals BUT have no idea as to what I even want. I've been like this for years. I have depression/anxiety (taking meds) BUT I can't seem to get motivated. I hate living like this - I feel like I am just getting through each day. I love my baby sooo much and feel guilty for being so negative. Any suggestions as to what can make me do something already? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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i know how you feel. how about a hobby that you really enjoy. something you can do with and without child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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well I started reading a lot and I truly enjoy that. It helps but not enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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hmm, totally understand that feeling. i think honestly that with a small dc, lower your expectations of your life goals moving forward, and if you don't have them yet, of creating them. you're already pretty occupied and if you have a good paying job, if you can try to just be satisfied with that and enjoy your time with dc and figure you'll get goal-full about your life in a few years, do that. i really think it's hard to think big personal picture when you have a small dc, and the stress is distracting you from what's there now. and, i also think the watched pot never boils applies here- life direction will probably come out of happy distracted state more than focusing on it. as you can see, i've been there (and maybe still am) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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and if you're enjoying reading, just do a lot of that. also remember, if you really ask people, most people don't have much direction, most people are muddling through somewhat. so, at least you're not alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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THANK YOU - you are so right. appreciate your advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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Accept your job for what it is (a way to earn money). Try to think of goals around doing things with/for your dc that you will enjoy working towards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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really depends. i think there's a difference between being in a rut and being in a funk. if you're in a funk, you need a hobby, an activity you do once a week or so (tennis? swimming? pottery?). if you are in a rut, you need to reevaluate what you want out of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
[ - ] If you were given a free pass to slap someone for something: who would you slap, and what would it be for? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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joel klein [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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You go after Joel and I'll deck Bloomie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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dh, of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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robin williams - for being so freaking annoying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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There is a mom at school who is nice but she can be a major Type A PITA. Sometimes I wish I could just smack her and yell mean things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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wow... at this moment I don't feel like slapping someone... give me an hour or so... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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OK, now I'd like to slap the mom who wants to file a FOI request regarding the DOE in New York... just a slap for stupidity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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my MIL just for being her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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In re" Quote below about swimming pool - that is just plain rude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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my step mother, for being so annoying all the time and being in my business [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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My old boss, for being a narcissistic, manipulative jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Al Sharpton, just for being a fat gross racist media whore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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George Bush....need I say why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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Bill O'Reilly for suggesting a "lynching party" for MO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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My boss! For being pompous, sexist, condescending, and wanting only the proverbial "yes-man" at any meeting, and for doing things that are shady. And for making me commute to the location that is 1.5 hours from home instead of 5 min and then not reimbursing me for mileage. Wow! I love this post! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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Wow. What the hell are you doing working for him??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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I would slap this friend of my dh's, I'm 18wks pg, we were at their pool last weekend and he said "look at that chubby girl with the big tits" to my dh about me so I could hear. I guess he thought he was being funny but I'm standing there in my swimsuit with my chin on the ground. I couldn't even respond. I should have slapped him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 11:17 AM Flag
[ - ] going to give db sweet potatoes tomorrow - making my own - boil and then puree in blender? food processor? add water? HELP! I am a terrible cook so don't know what I am doing... 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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Yup. Chop, boil and blend with some added water. I use a stick type hand blender. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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just boil or bake and mash. No water or food processor needed. Just overcook a little so they will be really mushy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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can I keep the leftovers? for how long? I "cook" by dialing!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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You can freeze it in small pots or ice cube trays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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wrap in foil, bake at 425 for an hour. take them out and mash with fork. when cool, give to db. make a bunch at one time and freeze. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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op - two questions how long can I keep frozen stuff and if I just put in fridge should that be used in the next day or two? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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I made all my own babyfood. I steamed or microwaved the food, put it in the food processor (generally no water added), and then put that into ice cube trays to freeze. Worked great. (As db gets older you can mush the food up less and less until they are ready for table food.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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op - did you make your own apples and pears too? how did you do those? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Time and again, I find myself cringing when I see a 35 + y.o. woman wearing inappropriate clothes. Most of the time it is the pear-shaped ladies. I am afraid I too am becoming this way. What is flattering on this figure? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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I have never liked dressing in an age appropriate way. Sigh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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what kind of clothing do you find inappropriate? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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For example - saw a woman today wearing a sweater set. It was black with a magenta trim. It sat right above her waist, accenting the pear hips. Seems appropriate, but looked horrid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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or: ohhh I thought you meant really inappropriate like low rise, very tight, see through pants with a teensy top that is see through too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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NO - I mean, women wearing what they think is ok - like business work stuff - and it really doesn't fit their figure any longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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gotha. I think women of all ages where things that don't go with their body type. It's just not that important to some and some really don't realize it doesnt' look good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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We all have blind spots. I have that figure, and have to pick & choose clothes very carefully as a result. And I feel I'm always on the edge of appearing frumpy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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you're bigger on bottom than top? what's your build overall? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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skirts: aline is best or at least flared on the bottom to balance hips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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^pants: wide or medium leg. no pockets that sit on your biggest part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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^tops: fitted below bust to give you a waist. but if you have a tummy, find things that skim not bind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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^dresses: skimming your lower body not hugging it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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^if you are short wide pant legs make you look like a munchkin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] what does your db (6mo) sleep in? right now I have her in a long sleeve onesie no sleep sack - should I get short sleeve pjs and give her a sleep sack? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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Short sleeved onsie nothing else. It's hot here and dc isn't getting cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 AM Flag
[ - ] would you/have you taken a 16mo on a caribbean cruise? any tips? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.13.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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I'd be terrified of them running off and jumping ship! If it was a family friendly cruise ship I might consider it but it wouldn't be my first choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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yes we have. Dd was 12mo old. Very easy. Cruise lines are great wtih families. We did the Disney Cruise when dd was 12 mo and used their nursery svc at night to have 2-3 hrs alone. We have also done Carnival and RCCL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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^^btw we have done like 6 more cruises since then and never an issue with our 2 dds. You just want a fam. friendly cruise like Disney, RCCL, NCL and Carnival [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:42 AM Flag
[ - ] odd. 1yo db woke up over an hour late this morning and was still yawning and rubbing her eyes by her regular naptime. no fever. what is going on? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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Did your dc have a busy day yesterday. Maybe they are more tired due to the heat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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could be teething - or a growth spurt... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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growth spurt or fighting a cold [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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maybe she's just tired. don't you have days when you feel more tired than usual for seemingly no reason? unfortunately, there's no way to know if she's getting sick until she actually gets sick or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] I need to come up with something I can buy at B&N or, better yet, Best Buy for an 80 yo well educated man who is stuck in the house recovering from an operation. Any great ideas? Can spend up to $100. I don't know his interests at all, except that he's a judge. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.13.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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see if barnes and noble has a coffee table book with photographs of courtrooms around the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Magnificent-92-Indiana-Courthouses/Jon-Dilts/e/9780253336385/?itm=5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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or this one might be really nice. http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Celebrating-the-Courthouse/Steven-Flanders/e/9780393730708/?itm=7 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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if you don't know his intrests, that is going to be hard. Is he internet savy? I would send an online GC or find out what he likes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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I would bring a stack of dvds, provided he likes movies and has a dvd player. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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I'm leaning toward movies. Any ideas for a set of movies that would appeal to an 80 yo man? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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maybe the goofy wwII movies from the 50s and 60s? Probably wouldn't do the supper serious ones because they may be too much. Throw in some regular comedies maybe. Stick with things that almost everyone liked, and you will probably be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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Odd Couple tv series dvds. My 75 yo so wants this for father's day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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I just bought my 84YO grandfather opera DVD's as well. great gift from someone who can't leave the house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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You must be my sister! Ditto, but my dad is 74. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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What does he like, movie wise? :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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He can't stay focused long enough (I feel as if I'm the same way). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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I just finished Bernstein, The Invisible Wall audiobook. Very touching story from young boy's point of view, written when he was 93 (he wrote another book after that) about growing up in a Christian/Jewish-neighborhood in England. I think he'd like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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The John Adams bio, upon which the series was based; check for other great, current non-fiction or history. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 08:56 AM Flag
[ - ] CAn we discuss ERB report wording...what are the hidden negatives to look out for? dc scores 99/99/99 report is very good, and totally gets dc's strengths and weaknesses, but I am wondering if I should be reading more into it. TIA (not prepped btw so not worried that report says that somehow) 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.13.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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sorry. i know nothing about ERBs. i live in ny but send to parochial school. no testing, no admissions process. just fill out a form and give them a deposit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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that's seems nice! I WISH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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yeah. there are certainly issues that we have, but the competition and testing things that i keep seeing people talk about aren't an issue for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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np; I sent dd for one yr (preK) to a parachial school and she was interviewed by 2 teachers without me (Epiphany School). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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we did meet with the principal when we went in but it wasn't a big deal (it was part tour on our part and part interview on their part). i guess every school is different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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yes I think they are but I think more are like your school. I don't think many catholic schools test (interview) the applicants [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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none. congrats on a good score and don't analyze it to death... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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Distracted, had to be brought back to task, emergent, developing...but I wouldn't sweat it with those scores. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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had to be refocused [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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didnt say any of that. said child's concentration was varied based on interest, but responded quickly and well to reminder [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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op: which i took as had to be refocused. rest of report is very good though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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How many exclamation points? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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op: what do exclamation points mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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op: my dc's had none, but I saw a friends dc's report and it had some , i think 2. is that weird to have them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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btw, friends report was from last year, not this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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NP: Just a shot in the dark, but maybe you are overthinking this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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i am overthinking! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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snort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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np: my dc's had 1 exclamation. what does that mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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That is slightly negative but not terrible, and with those scores it probably won't matter a whit. Does DC generally have good concentration? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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yes, but also very true that if dc is not interested loses concentration and would prefer to do other things dc enjoys. i think tester understood my dc very well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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99x3 means nothing if dc has issues, but not saying OP's dc has issues. Usually, 99 kids have good concentration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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I think it's fine but they might look at dc to see if he/she had to be refocused. No big deal but responded quickly and well to reminder is code for had to be refocused, but I don't think you should sweat it bec he/she responded well. I think playdate will reveal to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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op: thats what i thought. dc is very chatty and wanted to chat with tester [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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here we go already with the 99 x3 VBAs...and it's only June... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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op: im not bragging, there was a few things in report that good be viewed as negatives so I was wondering what to make of it is all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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Oh, so what? OP asked a real question, and even if she had been bragging, who cares? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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it isn't news to anyone here that the 99 x3 posters get very tiresome very quickly, and it's still early in the season. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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Op: so what do exclamations mean. honestly, i thought prepping. just wondering if I was right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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Not prepping. Perhaps just the style of the tester? Dds report had 4 or 5, like, "Concentration is exceptional!" and stuff like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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I think it's the style of the test. Our dc also had very high scores and a strong report with lots of "exceptionals" and "outstandings" and "impressives" but no exclamation points. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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Depends on the tester. Dc was not prepped at all and had a few exclamation marks (also 99x3). But one little negative comment doesn't matter. My dc's report said dc was stuck on one subsection, but once she figured it out, she was able to do it very quickly. I figured, at least this shows she was not prepped at all. Report also said once the instruction was given and example was shown, dc was able to do every task very fast - I was wondering about this bec dc had to be asked what the tester wanted her to do (she's not a mind reader)... and thought maybe the tester wanted to make sure dc was not prepped (already familiar with tasks). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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btw, dc's tester was a young woman in her 20's so maybe that's why so many exclamation points [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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op: thanks all. logging off - going to play with dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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we also had 99x3 and one "needed to be redirected" comment. DC got into 2 coed TTs (WL on trinity) and one 2nd tier. I'm guessing PS report was good and so redirected comment immaterial. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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With a 99x3 score, I think that comment about needing to be redirected may actually be a signal that they child was NOT prepped (and therefore a good comment)! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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DC got 4 exclamation points! Got 98/98/97. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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Hence why your DC did so well :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 04:54 PM Flag
[ - ] i'm making a rule. for every one 'new post' you post, you have to reply to three other people's posts. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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good rule. That might pick things up a little around here (that's 1!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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I'll play. This counts as one for me. : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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and I'm snswering you now, does that count as 2 since I answered above? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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are you the first OR? if yes, then no it doesn't count. sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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yep - 1st OR here. So I have to respond to 3 dif posts for it to count? That's getting too confusing. I think 3 sep replies should do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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no. three separate replies do not count. it has to be replies to three different posts. even if it's just to say "sorry, i don't know anything about it." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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ah crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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lol. sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:55 AM Flag
[ - ] I just had a little crying fit. Was handed a letter about how to prepare my preK daughter for K and it reduced me to tears. Long story short, I have been having strong feelings lately that I want another child. I am 42 and we had to do IVF for #1. After some M/Cs (I got pg a few times naturally after having #1) DH and I talked it through and concluded we were stopping at 1 DC. I feel like my reversal of position will be a big shock to him and he could very well not see things my way. I have been unable to get the words to come out of my mouth even to start the conversation up. It's silly. He is a sweet guy and we have a fine marriage but I am so wary of his reaction. Can anyone relate to me?? Can someone here who has BTDT give me the words to get the conversation started? Please no snarky responses. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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you have me really confused. is it the thought that your dc is getting older/growing up and that's what made you want another dc? In any case, don't build up your dh's position before you speak to him. Tell him what you've been thinking and ask him to think it over. then you can each discuss where you are standing and hopefully come to a conclusion that you are both ok with. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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OP: Sorry to confuse. We always wanted more than 1 dc and when things weren't working out we just decided to quit trying. I think DD going to K has caused those feelings of "I am not done" to boil up to the surface again. (She always askes for a sib, and has imaginary ones and while I try not to let that stuff factor into this, it does.) It's mostly about me feeling like my family is not yet complete. Thanks for your input. I know I have to just spit the words out and see where things go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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i do that all the time with dh. i have a whole imaginary argument in my head adn i'm fuming at him before i even broach the subject with him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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OP: I do this too. He sees some things so black and white and I never know if I will be getting black and white guy or contemplative guy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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NP: I am you and have finally decided that we're going to make a very last attempt for another. Odds against us but we will be going to RE in Sept. If you feel this strongly now, you will regret not trying. And DH may very well understand this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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OP: How old are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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I think that it is definitely something you need to bring up with dh. You are always going to wonder what could have been if you don't at least try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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I agree w/ the others (and you) that you have to bring it up and see what he says. FWIW when I had a surprise pg w/#3 I was scared to tell DH. We had just put our house on the market and things were crazy with his job. I actually told friends (and our realtor) before I told him. He was thrilled when I told him and he said "You always 2nd guess how I'll feel about things for no reason." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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I think it is normal to cry when your child enters kindergarten. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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I think you should try but that's jst me, I'd love another child. Just be prepared to use donor eggs (which is a wonderful option) & you will probably be completely successful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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OP: I know he is opposed to donor eggs. A cousin did it last year and he said he would never consider that. Maybe he would change his mind on that too....I think what I am learning from this thread is I/we shouldn't 2nd guess our DHs or assume the worst. I think it would be adoption for us, something I used to not be too interested in but as I get older I think it's a definite option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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If it is adoption, you had better get on the stick, most have age cut offs. It will take months to get thru the home visits/application process & then usually another year before child actually arrives. I was going thru that at same time as doing DE since didn't really believe it would work (had had 3 m/cs) but lo & behold got pg right away. What are his concerns? My girls are 5 now so can probably answer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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I guess just that it's not biologically mine and a little too sci fi. Back 5 years ago he was a little on the fence about IVF too....like, if we can conceive maybe we were interfering with nature by doing IVF. Did you or will you tell your DDs that they were conceived using DEs? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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Have already started to, mostly because one is ALWAYS asking for a baby sister so I tell her how difficult it was for mommy to have her & her sister, that we had to go a special doctor and have this nice lady help us get jump started. We will fill in the blanks as she gets older. The important thing is not to spring it on her when she is a teenager! If he can past IVF then maybe he can go for DE. Anyone that really wants a baby can, I had no problem getting pg (did it 3 times) just my eggs were too old and made defective babies which was its own kind of hell. As far as sci fi, it is really no different than sperm donor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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what happened? I just wrote a long answer & it is not coming up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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^^^never mind! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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Sometimes I write dh a letter to get it all out when I need to have a serious conversation and don't know how to start, sounds silly but it has really worked for us, leads to very good conversation, my dh is the same sometimes very black and white, sometimes contemplative...personally i think you should go for #2, use donor eggs if you have to, i wish you the best of luck and have a feeling your #1 will have a sib... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Hon, 42 is way too old to be having kids. Face it, you waited too long. The ship has sailed. Focus on the child you have now. Or consider adoption. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Who are you to say that 42 is too old? It is none of your business!! To each his own... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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i have a gf with 2 healthy kids and a great marriage, she had the first child at 42 and second at 44. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.16.08, 07:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I are planning to take 18mo to Mexico. Humor me, can we buy regular whole milk at groceries there? I feel ignorant asking this, but truly wondering...TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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sorry, never been there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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Me neither but I'd guess so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Poughkeepsie. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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If you are at a hotel they will have it...but if at a house, I would think you would be able to if near a larger city??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:45 AM Flag
[ - ] This might be a VBA post. but i figure there's not enough people here to really flame me :-) My question is: if a child is very good at hearing something (like a story) and remembering it (details, expressions, etc), would you consider that a good verbal ability? or is it a good memory? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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I think both but possibly more memory. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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to me a good verbal ability is the dc every day use of words not of what he remembers and repeats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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op: i'm starting to think the same thing. (more VBA...) My other dc is really verbal...he has a great command of language, very good at picking the right words for what he's trying to say. but with my first dc, she does have a good ability at picking up on things that she hears. i don't think it's really a memory thing b/c she's not as good with visuals. So i'm wondering if they are different types of verbal ability or if it's just a different type of memory that she has. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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or: my 2 dds were both early talkers but my younger dd is far better verbally at 3yr old than #1 was. She uses her language the way my other dd did at 4yr old. It's really weird since we didn't do anything different but maybe because she had an older sib. Not sure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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i find the whole thing very fascinating. i think i might ask my friend who is a speech therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:58 AM Flag
[ - ] completely freaked out. had abnormal pap YEARS ago and had to have Leep procedure. have been fine every since, had baby last year and now it appears i have another abnormal. very concerned since it's been soo long. anyone go see a specialist (gyn-oncologist)for this? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.13.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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i don't know much about it but i think that abnormal pap smears are more often than not nothing to worry about. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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I really wouldn't sweat it. As long as you go for your annual pap, anything really bad would be caught quickly, and anything slightly abnormal can be dealt with by LEEP. Just went through this with my mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone with severe allergies that bought a HEPA vacuum that has made a difference for you? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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asthma? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:30 AM Flag
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no - dust mites, pollen, etc. Supposedly vacuums with HEPA filters help a lot if you have some carpeting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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are you going to try it? i was worried about things like that b/c dd has food allergies and it is often related to other allergies. but so far she's been symptom free, thank God. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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