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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] DH and I have fallen on hard times. Money problems, marriage problems, we fight constantly, we are both miserable. I am torn about whether to stick it out (weve been together for 7 years) or end things now while i am still young and can start again. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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do you have kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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one DC who is 9.5 mo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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well,that's why. it's hard with a new baby. just wait it out for another year and reassess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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you owe it to your kid to try to make it work. and unless there is abuse going on, I think there should be a law against getting a divorce when you have a kid that young. every couple goes through rough times with a new baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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you aren't going to do your kid any favors sticking around in this situation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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bullshit -- you're doing your kid a world of favors. a kid's life is waaay better with an intact family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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did you read below how he constantly yells at her, can't make rational financial decisions? I doubt that's a great environment for the kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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remember that part about for better or for worse? This is the worse part. Stick it out. You will be glad you did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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But working on problems is different than enduring them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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I'm using her words but yes - working on a marriage is different than sitting around feeling miserable. She must have found something good about this guy to marry him, so hopefully there is something worth salvaging. I think OP just wants to be a victim here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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Well, that's for her to decide. I agree with you that we all have free will and if she comes to the realization that the relationship isn't salvagable, then she can choose to leave and build a new life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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of course. But I would like for that to much more of a last resort in most cases (abuse fraud etc excluded of course) I think most people are too quick to leave a marriage. Just my opinion though, ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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OP: Why would you think that i want to be a victim? You think i want this for my life? You think i want DC to sit and watch us fight? You think that i sit around saying woe is me, poor me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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Are these things you feel cannot be worked out in counselling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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I am guessing that if the money problems get solved, a lot of the marriage problems will go away. Unless it was like this before the money problems started, I would stick it out. No one is easy to live with when times are tough. Also, divorce will likely exacerbate the money problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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OMG!! Do you even realize how difficult a divorce is?! signed not so gay divorcee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you. Yes, the money problems are a big stress. Dh is a good guy but sometimes i feel he brings out the worst in me. I feel like it should be the opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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Have you considered counseling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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yes, ive asked him to go and he refuses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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hm, sounds like marriage counseling is in order. also sounds like money problems are making him behave erratically. some people do the exact opposite of what they should when they are stressed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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OP: Here is the thing. Dh is a good guy but his faults outweigh the goods by a mile. To start: He is selfish (ie: we are broke yet he goes out and spends $100 on rounds of golf after me begging him not to) he is racist, he is over weight and refuses to get healthy, he yells at me constantly, he argues with me about any little thing, like the color of the sky, which has in turn made me an argumentative person. thats jsut to start. why did i marry him? Im not sure, i think i was more into the idea of marriage than who it was that i married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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in that case I would be running to the door. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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From what you just described, I'm not quite seeing the "good guy" part. If he refuses counseling, I suggest you go on your own. That will help you see through to your own well being. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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OP: I feel trapped a lot of the time. I SAH with DC (my job before dc wouldnt cover daycare cost etc). I find myself looking online at apartments for me and DC to move to and taking a mental catalog of what is mine vs his in our home that i could bring with me. But if i were to leave or do a trial sep im not sure how i could survive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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that's a tough one... he obviously has some pretty big issues to work out, and is completely uninterested in doing so. How much of your life is this worth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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You could contact a women's shelter for advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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I divorced with NO children. It was hell for about 5 years because of the debt that came with getting divorced. I now make a good living but I have a MS in computer science. I would really try counseling first, then look at divorce. It is really tough financially. If you know you have help, go for it. But be prepared for a MAJOR lifestyle change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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If ou think you have money problems now, just wait until you get divorced. You will need to have that same income cover 2 households or you will have to go back to work and find cheap childcare. You really need to think things through. A divorce can be much harder than being married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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If you think you have money problems now, try having that same income support 2 households. Plus be prepared to go back to work and find cheap childcare. A divorce can be much harder than being married [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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Staying together in an unhappy marriage for the kids is very unhealthy for all parties involved. Your child will be happiest if you are happy...that's the bottom line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 02:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Going to a wedding in August. Any ideas on where to go for a ringbearer outfit for my kid? He is 3. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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he shouls wear a suit or a tux. what are you looking for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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If you have $$$, check out Best and co. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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My boy was a ringbear last weekend and I used www.everythingnicefinechildrensclothing.com they were very helpful and easy - not cheap though. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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My boy was a ringbear last weekend and I used www.everythingnicefinechildrensclothing.com they were very helpful and easy - not cheap though. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I would just rent something, it's usually cheaper than buying, and he's only going to wear it once. Definitely ask the bride what the dress is. If the best man is wearing a tux, so should your ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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whatever you do, do not put him in a tux or suit. he is far too young and it is just beyond tacky. He should wear an eton suit or short pants and round collared shirt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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or a sailor suit if it is a less formal affair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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or: ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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Yes, it's far more important for a 3yo to look like a dork in an eton suit or a round collared shirt. The days when it was acceptable for boys to dress liek that are so over. There is nothing wrong with a suit or a tux on a 3yo, if you can find one to fit properly which is not so easy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:44 AM Flag
[ - ] what do you do when....22 mo gets frustrated with trying to put on her shoes, pants, wants me to pick her up, and ends up on the floor, rolling around, frustrated and crying. it's new. need to know- do i ignore, hold her, what? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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ignore the tantrum, help her calm down and verbalize her frustration. "Oh sweetie, sometimes getting pants on is so hard! Do you need help, or do you want to wait a minute and do it yourself..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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and hug her when it is over? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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and, is that a tantrum? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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I would not ignore her if she is upset- agree with other poster, try to talk her through it, settle her down and then try again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Looking to spend up to 4K on watch - used Jaeger leCoultre or used rolex? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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rolex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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i vote cartier [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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why used? you can get a new rolex for 4k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
[ - ] any divorced moms out there that can offer any advice on how to end my marriage? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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just do it & treat others the way you want to be treated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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what does that mean treat others? DH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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sure, just bc the marriage didn't work out, doesn't mean you can't be civil. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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excellent advice - np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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why the divorce? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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bc i just cant see things getting any better. looking back i was so blind to the things that are trouble for us now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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get a lawyer first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have bursitis while pregnant? What did you do? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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I just went to the Dr. Today about this and found out that I had bursitis in my right hip. The pain has been just aweful and theres not much they told me they could do considering im 15 weeks along. Normaly they could give you a steroid shot but they opted not to. I was told to do the HEAT/ICE treatment and they refered me to a Physical Theropist ...... So I guess we will see how it goes from there. I do wish you luck because I feel your pain. :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.09.08, 11:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Can a 7yo boy and a 2yo girl share a bedroom?? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.23.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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sure. Not ideal but used to be done all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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Yes, but in about 3 - 5 years you may have to revisit it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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Yes, until boy hits puberty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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Then what happens? He rapes his little sister? Three generations share rooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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Yeah that would not happen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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I wouldn't, at 7 it's fine probably, but by 8 I think that it weird. If the girl was older, maybe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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the 7 yo will be pissed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:51 AM Flag
[ - ] which ballet schools are good in Manhanttan? is it in UWS or UES or downtown? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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wee dance on lafayette [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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everyone I know, from 2 year olds doing mommy and me ballet up to teenagers who want to be professional ballerias, goes to Ballet Academy East on the UES. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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thanks a lot. is it expensive? about how much for each time? I called and they said they do not know the Fall schedule yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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it is quite pricey. Considering the location and the families that go to BAE this is not surprising, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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thanks. how much for each time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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It's on their web site. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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did you know anybody going the drama program in this school? is this drama thing good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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It's a factory. They charge way too much money and insist the kids come way too many times per week. My daughter is in a preprofessional program elsewhere and i was really turned off by BAE. Might be good for little ones, don't know. Also look at Studio Maestro (UWS), NY Theater Ballet School (midtown east) or Joffrey (downtown). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.03.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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Also forgot to mention Alvin Ailey school (great ballet foundation) on UWS as well as Ballet Hispanico (great program). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.03.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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Wee Dance's director, Susannah Harris, is very unorganized and unprofessional. I don't recommend it. It might be good for 2-4 yr olds. But not older. It is cute with their story telling, etc. But, it is so expensive and unorganized. They also rent out space at the Sandra Cameron studios. The staff there do not like children and are constantly shushing and scolding them--especially Sandra Cameron herself. Harris still owes us money for dropping out of her class. We've made several attempts to no avail. She gives the excuse that she has twins and is always busy. But, when one owes a customer money, one should return it asap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.02.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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Does Wee Dance have a website? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.10, 11:12 AM Flag
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Ballet Academy EaST AT 92ND AND3RD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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Lucy Moses is quite good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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Ballet Hispanico is supposed to be less serious than BAE if that is what you are looking for. I think BAE Mommy and Me was sort of liek any Mommy & Me class on the UES $33ish per class? They have their prices online... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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American Ballet Theatre on 19th and Broadway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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How's SAB (school of American Ballet)? If I live in Manhattan, I would send my dd there for sure. (I love NYCB!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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By auditon only. VERY competetive. If you want your child to stick with the dancing, stay away. Too much emphasis on turnout and foot shape--if you don't have it naturally, it is forced. Too many of the kids end up injured and quit. And VERY few move into the company, FWIW [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.03.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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You also need to re-audition each year to stay in the program. I second the turn out comment - it's all about precision and matching positions exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.16.10, 11:12 AM Flag
[ - ] my little 2.5 year old - was pushed down, face grabbed and slapped by a 4 yo. I was so upset - but didnt want to make the mom feel too bad. My husband on the other hand - didnt care how she felt. My son went thru a hitting face at about 2 - but, is this another age-appropriate phase for a 4yo? seemed so agressive/over the top 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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face grabbing and slapping sounds waaaay over the top to me. i would have been livid on behalf of my 2.5 y/o. and my fear for the 4 y/o would be that he has seen something like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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okay. good to know. but so scary. wonder if he is a problem in school. or maybe his brother is violent wiht him. this was so scary - my poor little boy. he didnt seem phased a few minutes after - but still. i'm scarred! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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no benefit in dwelling on it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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true - move on - iguess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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or: well of course you are! but dc is not, and that's the important part ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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it's a little over the top, but it's not like the mom did it, I'm sure she felt terrible as it was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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true- if it was me, I would have said in a firm voice "do not hit!" to the kid & asked him/her to say "I'm sorry" to your kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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basically did that - but not firm about it. she looked so frazzled - as if this happens all the time. while i feel awful for her -- i was so sad/scared for my son [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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the good news is, little kids can't do serious damage to other little kids for the most part. Even with a two year gap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Not much you can do about it now. If your 2 yo is still upset, you can talk about why hitting isn't nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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did the mom move to stop it? was the kid punished? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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the mom ran over and made him apologize. no not punishes. and then his older brother and their friends started in a mean way taunting my son and my husband stepped in and told them not to ever touch him again.(They were grabbing his arm) made me think about this whole bullying thing.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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it sounds like she's not doing that great with teaching her kids boundaries. Your dh did the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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yes, i agree. thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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OMG! I would freak! I think I'm going to be need to be medicated before he starts kindergarten. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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I Think 3 was the hardest year for me. old enough to feel independent too young to understand why it's wrong. My sister had a 5 year old who choked a kid in school. Now her boy is 6 and has done a 180. The best kid ever. You never know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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it is scary when stuff like that happens. my neighbor's 3.5 yo ds always pushes my 16 mo down and tries to kick him in the head. dh and i call him damien. my neighbor doesn't really reprimand him either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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kick him in the head? oh gad - that is scary. When my son was about 10 months old an older boy - around 1 or 1.5 hit him in hte face. I was so appalled -- and unfortunatley had no idea this would be a phase my son went thru WAY too long. But kicking?? uh-oh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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i thought kicking him in the head was a bit much until i realized he has NO discipline. his mother refuses to do time out or follow through with her threats [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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ugh. its all so hard isnt it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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yes, next time I am asking them to leave if he cannot behave, but with a "you can come back another day when you can behave" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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that happened to dd around 2 yo, the mom didn't do anything. i avoided her after that, she got all ticked off about that. the willful ignorance of child's social problems was something i recognized from my own sister; the moms just start to get used to it and no longer see it as problematic behavior. guess it's sort of analogous to b.o., you get used to your own b.o. and don't realize other people find it offensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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yes, i agree. i didnt and dont ever see a father figure; am guessing w/those 2 agressive boys she is overwhelmed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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Please post when your little 2.5 yo is 4 and does the same thing to another kid. Were they playing on the playground? Boys who are 4 and 5 have crazy amounts of energy and their "pretend" play can get very violent. Obviously what he did was not okay -- hopefully his mother told him so. Signed, mom of 2 boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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i will! which is why i was asking if this is a normal phase? because every thing older kids do that i am shocked at my son seems to follow suit months down the line. this 4 year old was not pretending - it was pretty out of the blue - unprovoked. but was asking not judging. Signed, sigh - mom of 2.5 who is still learning every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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ita, thank you. hate these posts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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i think its a fair question. she was not judging. just asking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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these posts are really about what happens after the incident. if parent ignore the behavior, they are crappy parents. if they address the situation, i can overlook the whole thing because little boys can be aggressive. But just because it is "normal" doesn't mean it should be ignored...we all live in a society with rules...this isn't Nam ya know! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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well, to my mind, the mother didn't really address the situation. There was no punishment at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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It sounds like the kids mother did react though, and I see plenty of judgment. He also has older brothers which is likely where this all stems from (again, not that it's okay). But seems like parents like to make themselves feel superior to others in these situation (mother overwhelmed! father absent!) instead of just accepting kids as kids and moving on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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If your kid did this, especially to a kid so much younger, would you think it was acceptable just to make him apologize? I would be dragging that kid home so fast... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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wasnt meant to judge. and dont mean to offend. and by no means am trying to sound or feel superior. moving on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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ita...I also think it's important not to overreact to these things because it scares your kid when he sees you upset. try to follow their lead. if he's upset or hurt, obviously you comfort, but if he seems okay, try to play it down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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oh you must have a son who likes to kick 16 mo dc in the head [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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right... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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yeah, and yours probably cries when a kid looks at him crosseyed because mommy has taught him to freak out over every little thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I was responding to the incident in the original post, not your post. stand down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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thank you - thank you all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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itttta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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np: Another mom of 2 boys here, and they are incredibly active and intense and sometimes feel ahrd to control. And you bet your ass if they are violent with a baby there are immediate consequences, not just "stop it, Johnny." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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Definitely! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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I don't think I'd care how she felt either. I'd have the same instinct to protect my kid. 2.5 is still kind of a baby and a 4 yo could really hurt him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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Just remember that a 4 year old is still a baby too. Of course the behavior needs to be corrected, if it were my dc we would be out of the park after an apology, but going crazy on a little kid is really not ok nor is it ok for your dc to see that this is how one handles conflict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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how did his mom react? unfortunately there are some moms who don't care when their dc hurts other kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 03:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know what ERB scores you need for Fieldston? TIA 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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No private school has a ERB cut-off score. For all of them, the higher the better of course, but not the most important thing in an application. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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The only kid I know who got in had 99 ERBs. Not a wealthy family and their "connection" consisted of a supportive note from a current family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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It all depends on the rest of the picture. Just make sure that you apply broadly. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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OP--Thanks. We're thinking of moving to Riverdale if dc got into either Fieldston or Riverdale Country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:24 AM Flag
[ - ] so no one thinks I should be worried about the fact that my 9.5mo can't move/crawl, clap or wave? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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If YOU are worried about it, they go to some peds and get some tests done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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my ds didn't clap until 13 mo. he still really doesn't wave much. as for crawling, some children don't. talk with your ped. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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What do you mean "can't move"? Does your baby not move at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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is he sitting up? trying to crawl? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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sitting up great since about 5.5mos. Not trying to crawl at all. We put him on his tummy every day, he'll reach for things we put in front of him but doesn't try to move at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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honestly he sounds fine to me. clapping and waving is more of a 1 yr thing. but if you are worried there is no harm in asking ped more about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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No, not unless your ped is worried. There is a continuum of acceptable times to start different activities. Your db sounds is at the slower end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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np not true, ped miss a lot of things, a mother should go with her feeling and follow up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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(what do you mean, can't move poster above) yes, crawling is a tough one because I don't think that is considered a milestone, but if you don't think she's moving much at all (i.e., can't scoot, roll or creep to engage in play) then if it were my baby, I'd have baby evaluated. Clapping and waving also are connected to gross motor tone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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he grabs things and is very active with his arms/playing, but doesn't scoot or creep and has only rolled tummy to back, never back to tummy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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If you are in NY get baby evaluated for EI-would probably qualify based o nnot rolling from back to tummy--though in the world of delays this isn't really terrible, but there are some things that can be done to encourage movement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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^^muscle tone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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I did not see you original post, but I would be somewhat concerned if I were you. Is db able to raise self up on all fours and sway back and forth? How's eye contact and reciprocal facial/social emotion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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eye contact is great, laughs/smiles/babbles a lot. But he doesn't get up on all 4s, and even if i put him on his hands & knees, he flattens his knees out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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Great news bout the eye contact and laughing/smiling/babbling! Gross motor development sounds a little slow. Can db sit up well on his own? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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If you're worried about it, have it checked out. You are doing plenty of tummy time, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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pediatrician says he's normal as long as he's moving by 12mos but i am still worried. We do lots of tummy time every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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I've posted a couple of places above, mine is the same at (and is in PT). Find toys that are engaging and place them further away and coax baby over. Do that a lot. Your child isn't seriously delayed, probably just low tone. I think you really want to try to get baby to move in play as much as possible--that's the big thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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Relax. DS didn't crawl until about 11 months, and didn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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^^^I always hit return too soon, sorry. Anyway, DS didn't crawl until 11 months and didn't walk until after 16 months. Now he's 5, rides a bike, can skateboard, do cartwheels and he's going to NEST in the fall. RELAX and count your blessings that you don't need to chase him yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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thank you. That's what everyone tells me - generally he just has a very easygoing personality and that's probably part of it - but as a first time mom I'm still a nervous nelly sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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I agree. Mine never crawled and is at NEST now too. My friend has a child that is 5 now and she had exactly the same stuff going on with her kid. She took her to be evaluated at an early intervention center and she qualfied for so many free services. It was low muscle tone. sounds like your child is need of physical therapy and occupational therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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is she very tall or very heavy? a friend's dd was off the charts re: height, and didn't crawl until over a year and then walked "late" too. balance was hard to get a handle on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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how much does baby weigh? my lighter dd was pretty mobile, my heavier ds took longer to get on the move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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he's 30% for both height & weight, give or take. Not big. He looks like a chunker though and has a huge head, maybe that's part of it? Who knows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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friends whose ds had a very large head did not turn over or crawl until 8 mo or so - but then did a bunch of stuff all in one day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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My niece NEVER crawled. I was worried about it too. She would just lay down and sort of drag herself with her arm. Then one day she literally just stood up and walked. She's fine. She just graduate college a few weeks ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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my dd is 13mo is in PT for low muscle tone. she clapped and waved (although i think she did this stuff early) but did not roll from back to tummy and was very content sitting and playing. would not move. things to look for - does she sit kind of slumped with curved back, does tongue hang forward, are her legs in wide v or w when sitting, hate tummy time, can't get from back to sit. it is not a big deal if it is low tone - after exercise my dd is now cruising! so get evaluated by EI and don't panic. we waited until 10.5mo and then went ahead with pt. if delayed in more than just one area then you should see neurologist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Any dws out there who's dh was treated for low testosterone? I have a low sex drive thats hurting my marriage and I had several suggestions about getting testosterone treatments but would like to know others experiences with that. Did it work? Side effects? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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Come on! There must be SOMEONE out there with testosterone booster experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 04:37 PM Flag
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DH used the topical gel for low testosterone and it made him pretty nasty to deal with. he has stopped using it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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Thank you very much for the feedback. How do you mean nasty? Like irritable? Angry? Was he surprised by his own behavior? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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irritable and nasty and didn't ralize he was being so until I layed it out and gave him examples. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Wow. Did his sex drive get better at least? And did he switch to some other delivery method? Or did you just give up on testosterone replacement? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend a dermatologist UWS? For a 4-year old but I think a regular one is fine. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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Meryl Becker Joerg - Advanced Dermatology - West 86th Street. She's really nice to work with and it's easy to get an appointment. She doesn't specialize in peds but she has kids. She gets it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 04.21.10, 09:38 AM Flag
[ - ] I love my MIL but she is constantly giving me advice from when she had her kids (they are now 35 and 40). She'll say things like, I was walking around the neighborhood days after being let out of the hospital (while forgetting she was in the hospital for almost two weeks, not the two days we are) or, I mixed in formula right away (while forgetting that formula was "the thing" in the 70s and not recommended as wholeheartedly these days). How do I deal with this. She is trying to be helpful and while most things about babies haven't changed in 40 years, a lot have! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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I would nod and ask more questions about what it was like for her. Sounds like she's just trying to connect - and many women don't have the opportunity to talk about their experiences with others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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hahaha... I'm pregnant, no other dcs yet, but she's already starting on the advise. Right down to the fact that I don't climb stairs the right way for a pregnant woman, I absolutely need to hold a railing at all times. I excuse her though b/c she was a nun from age 18-28, so some of her social skills are a bit lacking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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Just smile & do it the way you want too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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or: of course... but the advice is so ridiculous that sometimes it is hard to do with a straight face. For my mil, part of the problem is that she only had dss, so she has not dd to do this with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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Just let her have her thoughts- all you have to do is listen. You don't have to agree. This is probably her way of relating to you & she is using her experience to do it- pretty normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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OP - I know, she just phrases everything in a way like, why wouldn't you do it the exact same way I did? I expect it will only get worse when db is old enough for school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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Well, if it bothers you, say something. Why worry about how bad you think its going to get? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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sometimes you have to be a little firm with her, if it's driving you nuts. Not mean or anything, but I really wish people would think about their suggestions first, and see if they really are all that important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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my mil suggested i let dd fall asleep w/ bottle in mouth until i said it contributes to ear infections. she stopped making suggestions pretty quickly. her boys were constantly at doctor's w/ear infections. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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hehe... does it really? I thought that you didn't do that because it was bad for the teeth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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yeah it does, unswallowed liquid pools in back of throat and ear tubes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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Just nod your head. FWIW, I was up and walking around the day I came home - that is more the particular person than anything else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
[ - ] is it normal for a 7 week old to spit up an hour or two after a feeding? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.23.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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Yes, if he has reflux. Both my ds's were major spitters and projectile vomiters until we got them Zantac. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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they also grow out of it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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My 9 week old does that and he doesn't have reflux. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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thanks! sometimes she cries and sometimes she doesn't. Ped is reluctant to say she has reflux, so I was wondering what other moms were experiencing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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My son did this constantly until he started eating table food purees. People used to say it something must be wrong, but ped felt it was totally normal and not reflux. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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thank you. 2 months down, 10 to go... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Should I put up a wall and split my bedrm to make it 2 rooms? My 16mo crib is right next to my bed and I can't take it anymore. I would give her the windows and AC and just open the door to let the air circulate. We rent on UES and the bedroom is big enough to do this...but it will cost 1k...advice please? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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100%! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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really? anyone else? I am really dying but don't want to move. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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We are sort of in this situation. We rent as well and BR is big enough to make into two rooms but A/C and window would be in one. Our lease ends when db is 9 mos (with potential to extend one more year) and as much as we love our apartment and location, we are going to move. The makeshift room is just not good enough for me. I want my own real privacy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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Do it. We had our db in our bedroom until 14 mos, and I was ready to go insane. I can't tell you how happy I was when we moved her into #1's bedroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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make sure there are window guards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:31 AM Flag
[ - ] I CANNOT seem to lose the final 5 lbs. After losing 25, it's frustrating to be in arms' reach of goal and not be able to get there. I can't starve myself! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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first of all, good for you for losing 25#! How did you do it? How long did it take? As for the last 5#, shake it up, do something different [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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It took almost a year. I lost very slowly but that's ok. Just watched what I ate, ran 3x a week. I look good, but I'd really like to get to 120 lbs which is my goal!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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maybe that's not a realistic goal. you've done a fantastic job, maybe you are where you are supposed to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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ME too, ugh, these last couple of pounds are wrecking havoc on my wardrobe. 2 kids, no help, there is NO way I can shop for new clothes. I'm down to just 2 pairs of shorts I can fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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congrats, that's awesome! Try adding weight lifting 1-2x per week? If you have time. Keep everything else the same. That might boost your metabolism and slowly help you use those last 5lbs (and look more toned in the process). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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