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06.23.08, 08:32 AM Toddler
47 replies
my little 2.5 year old - was pushed down, face grabbed and slapped by a 4 yo. I was so upset - but didnt want to make the mom feel too bad. My husband on the other hand - didnt care how she felt. My son went thru a hitting face at about 2 - but, is this another age-appropriate phase for a 4yo? seemed so agressive/over the top [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.23.08, 08:32 AM Flag
 

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face grabbing and slapping sounds waaaay over the top to me. i would have been livid on behalf of my 2.5 y/o. and my fear for the 4 y/o would be that he has seen something like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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okay. good to know. but so scary. wonder if he is a problem in school. or maybe his brother is violent wiht him. this was so scary - my poor little boy. he didnt seem phased a few minutes after - but still. i'm scarred! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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no benefit in dwelling on it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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true - move on - iguess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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or: well of course you are! but dc is not, and that's the important part ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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it's a little over the top, but it's not like the mom did it, I'm sure she felt terrible as it was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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true- if it was me, I would have said in a firm voice "do not hit!" to the kid & asked him/her to say "I'm sorry" to your kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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basically did that - but not firm about it. she looked so frazzled - as if this happens all the time. while i feel awful for her -- i was so sad/scared for my son [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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the good news is, little kids can't do serious damage to other little kids for the most part. Even with a two year gap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Not much you can do about it now. If your 2 yo is still upset, you can talk about why hitting isn't nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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did the mom move to stop it? was the kid punished? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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the mom ran over and made him apologize. no not punishes. and then his older brother and their friends started in a mean way taunting my son and my husband stepped in and told them not to ever touch him again.(They were grabbing his arm) made me think about this whole bullying thing.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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it sounds like she's not doing that great with teaching her kids boundaries. Your dh did the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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yes, i agree. thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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OMG! I would freak! I think I'm going to be need to be medicated before he starts kindergarten. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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I Think 3 was the hardest year for me. old enough to feel independent too young to understand why it's wrong. My sister had a 5 year old who choked a kid in school. Now her boy is 6 and has done a 180. The best kid ever. You never know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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it is scary when stuff like that happens. my neighbor's 3.5 yo ds always pushes my 16 mo down and tries to kick him in the head. dh and i call him damien. my neighbor doesn't really reprimand him either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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kick him in the head? oh gad - that is scary. When my son was about 10 months old an older boy - around 1 or 1.5 hit him in hte face. I was so appalled -- and unfortunatley had no idea this would be a phase my son went thru WAY too long. But kicking?? uh-oh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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i thought kicking him in the head was a bit much until i realized he has NO discipline. his mother refuses to do time out or follow through with her threats [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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ugh. its all so hard isnt it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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yes, next time I am asking them to leave if he cannot behave, but with a "you can come back another day when you can behave" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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that happened to dd around 2 yo, the mom didn't do anything. i avoided her after that, she got all ticked off about that. the willful ignorance of child's social problems was something i recognized from my own sister; the moms just start to get used to it and no longer see it as problematic behavior. guess it's sort of analogous to b.o., you get used to your own b.o. and don't realize other people find it offensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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yes, i agree. i didnt and dont ever see a father figure; am guessing w/those 2 agressive boys she is overwhelmed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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Please post when your little 2.5 yo is 4 and does the same thing to another kid. Were they playing on the playground? Boys who are 4 and 5 have crazy amounts of energy and their "pretend" play can get very violent. Obviously what he did was not okay -- hopefully his mother told him so. Signed, mom of 2 boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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i will! which is why i was asking if this is a normal phase? because every thing older kids do that i am shocked at my son seems to follow suit months down the line. this 4 year old was not pretending - it was pretty out of the blue - unprovoked. but was asking not judging. Signed, sigh - mom of 2.5 who is still learning every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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ita, thank you. hate these posts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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i think its a fair question. she was not judging. just asking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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these posts are really about what happens after the incident. if parent ignore the behavior, they are crappy parents. if they address the situation, i can overlook the whole thing because little boys can be aggressive. But just because it is "normal" doesn't mean it should be ignored...we all live in a society with rules...this isn't Nam ya know! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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well, to my mind, the mother didn't really address the situation. There was no punishment at all... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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It sounds like the kids mother did react though, and I see plenty of judgment. He also has older brothers which is likely where this all stems from (again, not that it's okay). But seems like parents like to make themselves feel superior to others in these situation (mother overwhelmed! father absent!) instead of just accepting kids as kids and moving on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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If your kid did this, especially to a kid so much younger, would you think it was acceptable just to make him apologize? I would be dragging that kid home so fast... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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wasnt meant to judge. and dont mean to offend. and by no means am trying to sound or feel superior. moving on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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ita...I also think it's important not to overreact to these things because it scares your kid when he sees you upset. try to follow their lead. if he's upset or hurt, obviously you comfort, but if he seems okay, try to play it down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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oh you must have a son who likes to kick 16 mo dc in the head [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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right... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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yeah, and yours probably cries when a kid looks at him crosseyed because mommy has taught him to freak out over every little thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I was responding to the incident in the original post, not your post. stand down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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thank you - thank you all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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itttta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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np: Another mom of 2 boys here, and they are incredibly active and intense and sometimes feel ahrd to control. And you bet your ass if they are violent with a baby there are immediate consequences, not just "stop it, Johnny." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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Definitely! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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I don't think I'd care how she felt either. I'd have the same instinct to protect my kid. 2.5 is still kind of a baby and a 4 yo could really hurt him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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Just remember that a 4 year old is still a baby too. Of course the behavior needs to be corrected, if it were my dc we would be out of the park after an apology, but going crazy on a little kid is really not ok nor is it ok for your dc to see that this is how one handles conflict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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how did his mom react? unfortunately there are some moms who don't care when their dc hurts other kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.23.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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