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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Can you pay the taxes (besides 20% and 10% penalty) at time of withdrawal so you don't own more when you file taxes for that year? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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I thought 10% is always withheld for tax purposes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Any pot smoking moms on who smoked while pregnant, at any time during pregnancy? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 07.21.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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wish I had during the first tri [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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really, wouldn't it have hurt the db? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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j/k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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I did a couple times when I was late in 3rd trimester. Little chance it would do anything at that point. But not something I'd do often or earlier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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My good friend did, at the latter end of the 3rd. I told my (rather conservative) ob this when I was pg and she said "Ehhhh, there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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^^^^ Sorry she said there's a lot worse you can do" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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yeah. i tend to agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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^^ altho as a pot smoking mom... i don't like to do it so often. makes me too groggy and distracted. most of my life I hated drinking. even a glass of wine made me tired and headachy. but these days i prefer it to a joint or even a bit from a pipe. just one glass. easy to find. not illegal (mostly) and i have a much easier time saying no to alchohol and knwing my limit than with pot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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I'm the poster above, and personally I would never smoke while pg. And I had 1/2 glass of wine once a week in my 2nd and 3rd tris. Pot makes me paranoid. That's a hideous combination imho; pregnant, paranoid and confused! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:13 PM Flag
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yeah, as if pregnancy didn't make me paranoid enough... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:53 PM Flag
[ - ] My 2 yo's bday party is coming up. We're keeping it small - maybe 6-7 friends. Do we open presents at the party or wait until after the party ends? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.21.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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It's up to you. We usually open presents at the end of the party if it is at home or some non-rented space. If it was a rented space we just brought them home and opened then there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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after, please! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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why is that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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at this age, i don't think that any of them understand the whole concept of gifts very well. either being gracious about opening them, or being patient (in the guests' case) about someone opening toys that aren't theirs to play with. just seems easier, and less overwhelming on the birthday boy's part, to save it for a quieter time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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i agree with this. np. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:55 PM Flag
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Depends on the children. We always open the gifts at the end of the party while the guests are still there. It's the most exciting part for all children involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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after. let the kids enjoy the party. it will only be an hour or two after all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:56 PM Flag
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Or make it part of the party. Opening gifts at the end is always appreciated by all kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:59 PM Flag
[ - ] at what point do you start making your kid apologize for doing something wrong? over the weekend a friend's 2yo made my 2yo dd cry, and my friend spent about 15 minutes demanding that her daughter apologize to mine. i felt so uncomfortable, b/c i believe that, at this age, the whole concept of "sorry" just doesn't exist. would you have said something if you were me? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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we started right away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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but don't you think that starting right away just gets them in the habit of saying something without meaning it? (not trying to start an argument... just curious) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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No I think we attribute fun things to our dcs and pretending or saying they understand it. She loves dress up, she wants to be a princess, let her wear her special hat to the table for food and I think those things are easy to let them do but we don't want to think they understand the things that make parenting harder, like saying sorry. If DC understands the pleasure of having a toy all to herself than she can understand why she has to apologize for depriving another childs turn on that toy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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i dont' agree with having a 2yo apologize but it wouldn't bother me that it's training them to say something without meaning it. b/c it's a social issue anyway. and many social issues are arbitrary. apologizing for certain behavior is a social necessity, whether or not you mean it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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i agree that 2yo is young. i do have my 2yo "make nice" or pat the other kid if i feel it's warranted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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I do think a 2 yo understands some part of it- at dd's daycare they made the kids stand face to face and acknowledge that you don't hit/take toys/whatever when you're with your friends. Making them say the words "I'm sorry" is tough at such a young age though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:07 PM Flag
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I agree with your friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:08 PM Flag
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you really would have hounded your kid for 15 minutes without them getting it? she was literally following her crying daughter around for 15 min getting increasingly frustrated that she wasn't saying sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:14 PM Flag
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I have my 2.3 ds say he not going to do the offending behavior anymore. It makes more sense than sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Dd's friend from pre-k/day care has the same birthday as dd. The family also lives in our co-op. We have spent time with them and enjoy their company but are not good friends (yet?). Would it be strange to propose a joint birthday party for the girls? Their parties and guests would probably overlap anyway. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:40 PM Flag
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mention it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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You could in a joking manner and see if they say "wait - that would be great" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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i don't think it'd be strange... the worst that can happen is that she'll say she already has other plans for her kids birthday. no biggie- mention away! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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i'd ask her if she had given any thought to her dd's birthday party and then see if she suggests something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:49 PM Flag
[ - ] My dh's doctor thinks he has lupus. I am so sad. Please tell me that it's not the end of the world 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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It is totally not the end of the world - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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friend has it and finds it annoying/tiring but totally livable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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It's not. First of all, it's not a definitive diagnosis yet, and even if he has it, he may have a mild, easily controllable form. Wait for more info before freaking out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:46 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the deal with Cornell why does everyone push to be delivered here I don't get it TIA 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.21.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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It has one of the best antepartum, L&D and NICU's in the city. If you or db have a problem, its a good place to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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Exactly. It's an excellent hospital. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Flip side is that they love their interventions there. It's a great place to be if you have problems, and not so great if you don't imo. Delivered there twice, fwiw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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np: I delivered there twice too and same experience. If you have uneventful labor not such a good place, they push interventions and want you to be done ASAP (they were totally swamped both times I delivered, anyway). And the post-partum nurses suck big time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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nnp - The nurses are AWFUL. Nasty, cold, and very judgmental. I had an emergency c/s after 24 hours of labor and they were horrible to me when I wanted to put DC in the nursery late at night instead of keeping her in my room (DH wasn't there and I couldn't get out of bed). Delivered my second child at a different hospital. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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That was not my experience. Had 2 c/s there. Both times nurses were fine about keeping DBs in the nursery and bringing them to me if they wanted to nurse (and then helping me get set up). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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Isn't SLR as good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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i loved it but i think it does not have as high a level NICU. now, thank god, for most of us that isn't an issue.but if it were some prefer to know its available. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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np: I know someone whose db ended up in SLR NICU (I believe it's a Level III) and they had a very good experience. Very positive. Not every preemie needs a Level IV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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NP: But you don't know until you do. I had a high risk pregnancy and delivered at Cornell for that reason: best NICU around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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fwiw, i had a great experience giving birth to my twins at mount sinai. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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and i did at lenox hill. and my dd had to be in nicu for a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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I had an excellent experience there. best, nicest nurses and had me push for what felt like forever (longer than 3 hours) because baby was doing great and we all wanted vaginal delivery. in the end, got a c section, but the docs and nurses were fabulous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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I had a terrible experience at Cornell with my second. My experience at NYU with my first was 100% better. Cornell's response time with their staff is very poor. Their staff does not take any accountability. I asked for an epidural as soon as I entered. But, after 2 hours, they could not find the attending anesthesiologist, Dr. Jill Fong. I've written many letters to patient services. But, they are protecting their own. Dr. George Sylvester at Cornell was the attending physician. However, I never saw him. I saw his resident who was extremely unexperienced and lacked knowledge. Cornell was rated as the number 1 place to give birth in 2006 by New York Magazine. But, I think that rating should drop b/c I've met several women who have had poor experiences there. Including a mom who got a Staph infections because their nursery did not catch the infection in time when her baby got it from their nursery. Cornell upgraded this couple to a single room, etc. So, that they didn't get sued. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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Wow--that's pretty shocking. Was Sylvester your doctor? Had you seen him before the birth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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No, Dr. Amos Grunebaum was my doctor. I never saw Dr. Sylvester before the birth. He has a nice, calm demeanor. But, he let his resident do everything and Dr. Sylvester didn't take any accountability for me or my poor experience at Cornell. When Cornell's patient services interviewed him about why I couldn't get pain alleviation after 2 hrs of being admitted, he basically protected his own and denied everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.02.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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Columbia at 165th is the top children's hospital and best place to give birth. 6th in the country (No others in NYC even rated in the top 10 or 20 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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Actually, according to USNews rankings Columbia (CHONY) uptown is ranked #4 in the country for neonatology. Montefiore comes in at number 29. No other NYC hospital rates at all in this specialty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.01.08, 01:05 PM Flag
[ - ] what's a good suburb for a park slope family needing more space? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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whats your hhi, is public school very impt, does religion matter... more to it than "park slope" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] 4 yo ds started telling me that he is asking people to play with him at camp and they are telling him they don't want to play and/or are not including him. He is very sweet and nice and a lot of fun but younger than most of the other kids and i think there is a social disconnect. any advice or good books on how to deal with this? i hadn't been a fan of redshirting ds (holding him back a year) but this makes me think that maybe it is too difficult socially for a boy to be the youngest in a group. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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IMO - it should be case by case, and you have to factor in academic readiness into the equation. Have you gotten any feedback from his preschool? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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no - preschool is pretty laid back - it is really what we want to do. i think he is smart but not necessarily "academically ready" which i guess means ready to sit and learn and listen and focus. i worry more about social issues i guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Queens moms: where is a good place to have a 5yo's birthday party? Indoor and outdoor suggestions appreciated. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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^^^^summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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NY Hall of Science. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Young Chefs Academy in Forest Hills. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:33 PM Flag
[ - ] do you keep old bills, cards, etc? i feel like i have so much paperwork and just want to get rid of it! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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only tax info. No way do i keep bills, plus I pay everything online and I keep an electronic hard copy of my statements on my smart stick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:33 PM Flag
[ - ] New Mom here...when do babies start to sleep longer at night? At all? We have twins and are curious when things begin to stretch out. Tips for anything appreciated! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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Alas, every baby is different. Swaddling helped my babies sleep better. How old are yours? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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5 weeks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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ITA - my dcs didn't sleep through the night until they were 2. I know other people whose children started sleeping for 4 to 5 hours at a stretch after only a few weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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Mine was 9 weeks and did 8hrs for a couple days then went back to 4-5 hrs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:29 PM Flag
[ - ] If using powdered formula would you boil the water before use or is New York's finest alright straight from tap? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.21.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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Tap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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Oh good thats what I have been doing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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Really, you guys must have much better water then we do. LA here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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better water, pizza and bagels [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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yeah that is the truth, but we have better weather. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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We have much better water. NYC municipal water is some of the best in the country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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I have a brita dedicated to ds that we keep on the counter so its not too cold [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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I boiled the water and let it cool, just to play it safe. We made a quart of formula per day. It's not really that much more work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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Just tap. If you're filtering, make sure to change that filter really often, or it can increase bacterial risk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:41 PM Flag
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depends on the age of the child. for newborns, i boiled the water. but bear in mind that i was bf'ing and only made an occasional bottle. as they got older, i used tap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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there is a lot of iron in the yc tap water which is great for kids. mention to ped that you;re using tap water instead of bottled and he/she will be happy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:53 PM Flag
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how old is your db ? i boil [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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