• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] whats your weekend routine as a family? dh and i are new parents - have 8mo ds. i feel like he's still living part of his life like he has no kid - surfing web til 1 or 2 on weekends, waking up at 9 or 10 am. sometimes napping. do i just need to lighten up? we both work full time. i just remember growing up and the whole family being up at the same time, eating breakfast together, etc...napping on some days, but not all... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
»
I don't think the whole family needs to be together the whole time. But if some structured family time is important to you, or if you feel that his free time comes too often at the expense of yours, then negotiate it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:52 AM Flag
»
you need to negotiate family vs. free time now. babycare tends to fall to the mom as default--dh and I had many heated discussions bout fairness and free time. if you are both working full time, thatn DH needs to get out of bed. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:56 AM Flag
»
It's different when DC are so young -- as the other poster says, you don't "need" to be together all the time (and you're probably not yet going to very many acitivities/making very many plans that are "for" DC). DH may just be clueless (my DH is!) and need direction -- i.e., alternate days to sleep in. We have weekend "routines" -- some of which are adapted from our pre-DC days (bagels on Sundays) and some of which are "for" DC (swim class -- which I've delgated as "Daddy Time"!). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:57 AM Flag
»
It took several years (and is an ongoing issue) to make the transition from all "me" time to family time with DH [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:11 AM Flag
»
It does sound like he needs to step up a bit. None of us sleep in (dh and I usually up by 5:30, kids up by 7) so that's not an issue. I signed the kids up for a gymnastics class on Sat. a.m. & dh takes them to that. Sat. night is always our date night, time for just the two of us. Sun night is family dinner (most nights we eat as a family, but that one's sacred) and family meeting. But my dh does work on Sundays and will fit in a nap if he can. I generally don't begrudge him that--he works pretty damn hard all week. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:39 AM Flag
[ - ] i have a very happy active 9mo dd. i worry she spends too much time with adults--i.e. mom & dad. we're in the country all summer and don't know anyone with kids. the playground is almost always empty. is it bad for dd to not be exposed to other babies at this age, or doesn't it matter? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
»
probably best to start interacting with others. how about a gymboree type class? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
It is fine - no worry. She has her whole life to be with others. Right now she needs to be with you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:12 AM Flag
»
9 mo olds generally engage play along side other children rather than interact with them. There is a specific phrase that describes the developmental phases that escapes me at the moment. The short of it is that she will be fine with just the adults for the summer. Interacting with other kids gains importance when she gets older. No worries! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
I think at this age, it doesn't matter. Yuor baby would make it clear to you when she would need other kids in her life. My DD started doing it at 27-30 month or so. She would just RUN after kids in the park, and want to be with them and have nothing to do with us. Then I knew - it was time for preschool (we started a bit on the early side, before 3, just because she so needed to be with other kids) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 02:02 PM Flag
»
does not matter. especially at that age. i'd worry about a 3yo or 4yo. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Just have to post this once (after reading post below about how adults react to where a child is going to school). There are smart kids at all schools. My DD got 99 OLSAT, SB and ERB and is going to 3rd tier ongoing for pre K in the fall. It's just how it worked out. We're not unhappy. 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 07.27.08, 07:27 AM Flag
»
I really think that it is just the people on here who don't realize how great most of the so-called third-tier schools are - good for you. I am sure that you and dc will be very happy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:29 AM Flag
»
What are the 3rd tier schools? I know the TT 7 but past that, there is no set list. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:31 AM Flag
»
There is a hierarchy of schools based on academic rigor that has existed forever [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:33 AM Flag
»
Name names [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:42 AM Flag
»
how long have you been here, the list is always the same. Chapin Spence Brearley Collegiate HM Trinity TT, second CSH, NBS St. Ds St. Bs, Buckley, 3rd MM Hewitt, Browning 4th BWL, etc [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:19 AM Flag
»
So the only 2nd Tier schools are all single sex - Sacred Heart, Nightingale, St Davids, St Bernards & Buckley? What about Ethical Culture, Columbia Grammar, Friends, Grace, Town? 2nd or 3rd Tier? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:21 AM Flag
»
fieldston and riverdale 2nd, Ethical, CG Friend Grace and Town 3rd tier [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:24 AM Flag
»
Why would Fieldston Lower be 2nd tier and Ethical Culture 3rd tier? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:25 AM Flag
»
OR above is making this up as she goes along [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:52 AM Flag
»
Why is Dalton not even on the list? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.29.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
btw... dont only evaluate school by "reputation" some of the top tier school have familes with the poorest values.... be very careful...or you will end up with a kids with friends who you dont like [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 10.23.08, 08:37 AM Flag
»
well, it must be a school with a preK. think MM, CSH, ECFS, Bank St., CGPS, Trevor, Town, SHSH. Not sure if there are others. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:35 AM Flag
»
Are all those schools 3rd tier schools? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
»
downtown: Grace, St. Luke's, Little Red, City and Country, and Corlears all have preK [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:51 AM Flag
»
you will notice the reactions. hard to imagine it won't bug you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
»
And I'll bet that you'll try to apply out to a TT K next year. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
»
What does that have to do with people reacting badly or well to the name of a school? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
»
of course. It's like 450 kids who got 99 olsat and didn't all get placed in Anderson. Kids who got accepted to Anderson are not smarter than those who didn't get in with the same 99 score. But peoeple know, as nonsibs, Anderson kids who got in have 99. Other kids with 99 don't have a 99 label on their heads so nobody will know. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:34 AM Flag
»
The same has always been true of Anderson. Not every 99 got in. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
This year, though, is diff. Non sibs; only 99 got in but not all 99 did. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
But that would only affect the 50 kids who got in. The hundreds who didn't get in are in the same boat as the hundreds/thousands who didn't get in previously. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:51 AM Flag
»
before, people would hold up making it through the onsite as the proof of their kids' genius. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:54 AM Flag
»
Not really, most always knew it was luck of the draw. And it still is, more qualified kids than spots. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 06:37 AM Flag
»
we dropped a lower tieer school for anderson. I did worry about the academics and peer group. In the back of my mind, I also didn't like the reactions of people when I said the name of the lower tier school. would not have dropped it for that reason, but I did think people thought we ended up there because of something negative about us since dc is obviously extremely smart. they must have been thinking we were major pitas, or dc was. both are sort of true too. glad to shed the yoke of the lower tier [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:42 AM Flag
»
Will your dc be starting A in Sept.? Mine will and we are basically in the same situation as you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
I know what you mean. It feels better to have people wonder about you when you say the name of a good school vs a lesser school. if you say dalton or anderson, people react differntly than if you say ps163 or trevor. jsut the way it is in nyc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:51 AM Flag
»
np - I don't really know how many people know Anderson. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:53 AM Flag
»
you would be surprised. perhaps in the day of UB, it is better known even among private school people. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:55 AM Flag
»
I never heard of it until UB but its been around forever I am told. All that says to me is that before media like this site it was not impressive enough to be known by anyone whose dc didn't get to H or a TT private [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:32 AM Flag
»
anderson is only about 20 years old. you are likely old, and it was starting when you were away at college. now you are an old mom with young kids, and like all the other old moms, have logged onto UB to get info and flex your pathetic muscles. now you have heard of anderson in your 40s. so now you are in the know. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:37 AM Flag
»
I see you must be one of these crazed Anderson mothers. I am not an old mom, young mom, here and in school when it would have been created, and no. NEVER HEARD OF IT [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:58 AM Flag
»
it was not well known when first created, but I doubt you are all that young. Most UB moms are rarely younger than late 30s from what I can tell, unless they live in a trailer park in montana and frequent toddler. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:02 PM Flag
»
np: lol! most are pushing 45-50 with K applicants! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:06 PM Flag
»
np: I am in Manhattan, have been for 12 years, and I am 34 yo. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:25 PM Flag
»
who cares? yes, anderson must be a crappy school if you have not heard of it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 02:31 PM Flag
»
And among those who do, wouldn't they wonder why dc isn't at Hunter? (just being snarky...) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:56 AM Flag
»
I do but then I wonder which TT privates rejected every H dc [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:35 AM Flag
»
More often than not, it's the opposite: TT dcs rejected by H. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:22 AM Flag
»
uh huh. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:24 AM Flag
»
It's sheer numbers. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:25 AM Flag
»
we preferred anderson over hunter. preferred location, facilities, more traditional approach, k-8. Live closeby, 2 kids in the school. would not switch for anything. only ues private bound moms only know of hunter which they have sometimes chosen to apply to as a backup. now with all the private SOs, many will be applying to all selective publics, and most will get neither H/A. most will be lucky to het 3rd choice G&T [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
»
Why would K-8 be preferable to K-12? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
we want private for HS. could afford it now, but didn't have to, and getting a great education. anderson kids do well when they apply to private, so we felt it unnecessary for now. we are legs at a great coed, btw. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:05 PM Flag
»
Are you high? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:44 AM Flag
»
NP I never heard of it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:47 AM Flag
»
NP: It was always known by preschools (but they don't want families to apply out to publics) and those parents willing to do their education research. The school (then program) kept a low-profile for most of its years for fear of being eliminated by DOE during all these years of it not being politically correct to support gifted education. Once it became a school 4 years ago, it could become more visible because State law prevents elmininating schools (vs programs) unless there is poor performance - not an issue for Anderson. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 06:21 AM Flag
»
You sound like a horror show. I have to say, had never heard of Anderson before I started reading this board. (And in real life I don't know a soul who sends her child there.) I would not be impressed if you told me that your child went there, and I would not be unimpressed if you told me your child went to Trevor. You need to get out more. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 07:18 PM Flag
»
anderson is amazing school.. some of the most creative and interesting kids i know are there.. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 10.23.08, 08:39 AM Flag
»
But you are applying out to TTs in the fall? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:47 AM Flag
»
I doubt it. We took the ERBs just in case but at that point we didn't even know what was going to happen with G&Ts and Citywides. now that we're settled I don't think we would want to uproot our DD for another school unless we're really unhappy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:27 AM Flag
»
My dc is in a preK-8 school and kids are challenged academically. There are children graduating with all 9s on the ISEEs and I know they worked really hard throughout their time at the school. Many test into the selective public high schools. What I do see is a wider range of kids at the school, which is not a bad thing in my opinion. It's great for kids to see how people excel in different things: the person who is not the best at math may be a spectacular actor in the school play. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:00 AM Flag
»
The last comment you made is true at any school, even the tippy-toppiest of schools. Not everyone excels at everything. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:24 AM Flag
»
True. I will add that I've never seen a child counseled out of my dc's school for academic reasons, although parents have moved their children to some of the special learning schools after second and third grades. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:54 AM Flag
»
that is what counseling out is. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:14 PM Flag
»
np: Not really, counseling out is initiated by the school. Parent-initated switch (whether for higher tier, lower tier, public, or SN school) is not counseling out. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:45 PM Flag
»
well you are lucky. my dcs attend a so-called 3rd tier private and several dcs were counseled out after first grade this year. They did not become good readers quickly enough. Teaching of reading supposedly started in grade 1, but in K everything was about writing and reading was required in a not so subtle way, even though they claimed it was not being taught. Then in first grade, by March, if kids were not reading very well they were sent off to a nearby special needs school. Not coincidentally the kids who were sent off were the youngest kids in the class. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 02:10 PM Flag
»
By March of first grade, kids should be able to read. They probably do have some kind of LD and school did them a favor. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 05:46 AM Flag
»
np: She is posting it like it's age thing. Yet in my dc's public school kids are even younger than that and everyone read by beg of first grade, including kids that weren't even 6 yet (my ds being one of them). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 06:39 AM Flag
»
my response about dcs getting the boot from our 3rd tier was in response to the suggestion this kind of thing only happens with tt schools. btw, I know other kids (not at our school) who went from being poor readers in first to being terrific readers in third grade. Some kids are not ready until age 7, sometimes even bc of visual motor reasons. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.29.08, 05:13 PM Flag
»
We're not in NYC, so not as relevant. But we applied for DS to several prestigious private schools and he got waitlisted at all of them (he would be a disaster on this ERB thing--he's glacially slow to warm). We ended up going with our local public school and it's been totally wonderful--the perfect fit for him. We are thrilled. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:40 AM Flag
»
You have a talent for the obvious. Seriously, everyone knows this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
»
np: Honestly, I am amazed people care so much. We have some people make face when they hear dc goes to public school, and frankly it amuses me. DC is doing great, loves schools and is looking forward to going every day. Why should I care what some near strangers think? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:46 PM Flag
»
I think you have to take it a couple steps more back. It is irritating that there is the need for a tier system. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 06:30 AM Flag
[ - ] nest moms? my son starts in sept. I am worried about the stress. He is funny and smart and interested in many many things... will this turn him into a competitive freak? Anyone who has been and left? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:24 AM Flag
»
You're the problem. You were freaking about getting him in, and now you're freaking about how he'll do? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:36 AM Flag
»
My preschool director says it all depends on the parental attitude. Don't make a big deal that he's going to a "special" school. Just support him in being disciplined and trying the best he can. Reward success but don't go nuts about it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:42 AM Flag
»
He is going to have a great time there. My dc just finished K there this year and had a great time and learned a lot. How kids do depends more on the parents. Just do what is required. Kids and parents at this school run the gamut. One parent I know has their kid going to a language immersion camp this summer so the kid can have a leg up come the fall. Another parent said she is not even cracking a book because the summer should be two months of fun for kids. I believe the same. As a matter of fact my child doesn't even know the school is G&T. The other day I was asked, "mom whats gifted mean?" Just approach it all with a relaxed attitude and everything will be cool. Enjoy the rest of the summer and don't stress about school now in Sept. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 11:35 AM Flag
[ - ] my 9mo dd is very active, crawling on our hard stone/tile floors. her knees are looking red. should i buy knee pads? amazon has an item called "snazzy baby knee pads." 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:21 AM Flag
»
Cut off the bottom of tube socks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
»
long pants or cutoff socks both good choices. Don't buy garbage. Spend that money on a snazzy museum visit or musical instrument! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:10 AM Flag
[ - ] My son is suppose to start attending YAI/Gramercy this September, but a wonderful opportunity has come up to purchase a home in Ft. Lee, NJ. Does anyone know if there are any centerbased pre-schools comparable to Gramercy, CDC, CPELC, etc. in the Jersey area? Son is most important, so if there aren't any, we'll stay in Manhattan. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Preschool/Kids 07.27.08, 07:17 AM Flag
»
I don't know the area but I am sure there are excellent pre schools there too. I wouldn't pass up an opportunity based on 6 hours a week of play time for ds. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:18 AM Flag
»
maybe call CPSE [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:14 PM Flag
»
There is such an amazing Reggio Emilia philosophy School in that area. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:22 PM Flag
[ - ] I was in Europe this summer and got this great porridge from Nestle. I have tried to find it here or porridge in general, but i just seem to find cereal? TIA. And where can I find baby bread/crust without salt and sugar? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:52 AM Flag
»
op; Has anyone heard about Holle baby food? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:00 AM Flag
»
why don't you look online? i'm sure they sell something similar that could be shipped to you in bulk. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
Are you European? While I was visiting I thought all the baby cereals there were freakish - everything was flavored banana-chocolate or some such. It was odd. I've never seen the Holle brand here, only in Australia and Europe. Online maybe? And Whole Foods has a lot of baby products with additives - come to think of it they might have some European porridges as well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:27 AM Flag
[ - ] okay. I made the commitment to grow out the gray, which I have for a year. Now, more and more, I want to go back to coloring, but I think my natural color (med to dark brown) would be too stark a change. What color should I go for? Can anyone recommend salon, preferably downtown. I'm definitely what one would call an older mom btw. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:25 AM Flag
»
I'd go back to my natural color [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:27 AM Flag
»
Well, my natural color now is gray ;-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:41 AM Flag
»
Own it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 11.12.08, 08:46 AM Flag
»
Q on bleeker st. they do a gloss that blends pretty well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:27 AM Flag
»
I'm trying to visualize where this could be? I live in the West Village. Where is that on Bleecker? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:31 AM Flag
»
I think original color plus highlights [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:53 AM Flag
»
I had my hair colored one shade lighter than my natural color (dark brown) with the the gray stands highlighted a slightly lighter color. Looks nice. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:08 AM Flag
»
where? how much was it? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:16 AM Flag
»
Try adding in "low lights" in your natural color [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
»
When my mom (apologies for dating) starting going really gray, she changed her medium brown hair to dark blond with lighter highlights to keep up with. You could probably go into any salon known for coloring and explain your predicament. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:48 AM Flag
»
I think that this is what you're "supposed" to do -- go lighter and lighter (if getting full head color). I go to Salon Ishi (I see Ellie) on 55/Park-Madison (for highlights -- for now!). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:52 AM Flag
»
soon beauty lab is awesome - i see ellen and she's great, but have heard good things about others there as well. low key place. 2 locations [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:05 AM Flag
»
How much for color? Highlights? I do my own at home for $5, get constant compliments. I'm in the entertainment industry where many other similarly situated women spend hundreds. I'd be willing to try something reasonable. Somebody mentioned Soon to me once I think. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:08 AM Flag
»
Get a really, really good colorist. I cut and color my hair for around $ 100. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 09:09 AM Flag
»
You should try Xac Anthony Salon in Chelsea!! Amazing Cuts and colorists and they are very friendly and affordable! I go and I've sent my friends and they ALL love it and are very happy!!! www.xacanthony.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 11.12.08, 08:43 AM Flag
»
What's wrong with gray hair? Embrace it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 11.12.08, 08:44 AM Flag
»
If you're really gray, I'd talk to a colorist about enhancing it. If you go back to coloring you'll either have to do it indefinitely or grow it out again down the road. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 11.12.08, 08:48 AM Flag
[ - ] what are you doing with dc today - in manhattan or brooklyn? out of ideas. can't do sprinkler/park again. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:14 AM Flag
»
victoria gardens? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:20 AM Flag
»
weather is supposed to be iffy. just walked the dog and got sprinkled on (not by him). perhaps children's museum? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
»
Going to ILs in Scarsdale -- so DC can run around in the backyard (at least it's a change of scene!). Call some friends in the burbs and make plans to visit! :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Name poll: Sam, David or Jack? (w/ a very jewish sounding last name) 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:14 AM Flag
»
Samuel or David. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:15 AM Flag
»
Sam [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:07 AM Flag
»
Sam or David. Jack doesn't fit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:25 AM Flag
[ - ] my dh lost his job, we have barely any savings, and will probably have to sell our house in the crappy marked. i have been having kids for the last 5 years and have not worked. i can't help but feel completely let down by him for now creating ANY financial stability for us. he has a masters from an ivy league,speaks several languages - is almost 50 and has less security then all his pear. am i wrong? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:11 AM Flag
»
be supportive of him. i'm sure he feels crappy about this too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:15 AM Flag
»
Maybe, some guys would feel bad and try to fix it and some guys would just feel sorry for themselves and stew in resentment. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:16 AM Flag
»
np; Given the way the market is it may not be easy to fix even if OP's DH is trying, so I think he should get a break. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 01:03 PM Flag
»
I'm sorry--that sounds very tough. But he was the same guy when you married him, right? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:16 AM Flag
»
I totally understand, i would be furious too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:54 AM Flag
»
but what about OP? This financial situation didn't just happen, it's not all his fault. Did you explore part time options? ways to economize? It's not 1850, you are a partner int his, right? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:59 AM Flag
»
OP is doing her job - taking care of her children. Flame away but that is a very real and noble job and one that no one can do better than OP. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:08 AM Flag
»
OR: I'm a SAHM too. and i stand by my point. at dsome point in those 5 years, it must've been obvious that they were in trouble. time then for the team--not just the DH--to decide a course of action. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:12 AM Flag
»
Hey people get laid off, it happens every day. I don't know about OP but if I went back to work I would earn about 40k. max. - I have few marketable skills anymore. That would cover daycare for 2 plus my gas money. I think a lot of women are like me. Not everyone was a Hedge Fund analyst before having kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:14 AM Flag
»
OR: I just feel bad for her DH. I'm sure he feels like shit, her anger can't help. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:15 AM Flag
»
She feels let down, not angry, a totally understandable response. I bet her DH would be annoyed if she screwed up the kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:17 AM Flag
»
np: your response implies DH screwed up. We don't know that. He got laid off. It happens. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 01:22 PM Flag
»
If their DC were screwed up, hopefully her DH would realize he was accountable for that as well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.29.08, 12:00 PM Flag
»
She was the SAHM; he was the money maker. I'm sure she did her share and well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:09 AM Flag
»
np: does being a sahm mean you should be oblivious to all money matters, like how much they were saving, how much they were spending? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:32 AM Flag
»
I totally agree - just posted below, too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:42 AM Flag
»
ITA. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:42 AM Flag
»
Unfortunately great education + extremely academically inclined does not = drive. I'm sure your dh feels horrible and helpless too, but I'd feel resentful too. You work to keep the family happy and healthy. I empathize for your situation. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
»
You BOTH took risks. You took a risk by staying out of the job market, and you both took a risk by not saving. These are decisions you both made, yes? Or you put up with, yes? I understand being disappointed, but being angry at him is both unjust and unproductive. (I'm a SAHM by the way, and I understand the risk I'm / we're taking.) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
»
Well said! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.29.08, 11:56 AM Flag
»
I understand your frustration, and am very sorry for your situation, but building financial security is not just the job of the person who is earning the money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:41 AM Flag
»
ITA. You can't just blame him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.29.08, 12:03 PM Flag
»
you are afraid, but I'm sure DH is afraid too. Maybe there should have been better planning/decisions in the past, but that's irrelevant right now. Can you work at all? Even a part time gig at Starbucks or something to bring in a few bucks. Be a team player! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 12:31 PM Flag
»
don't be so certain that you know the situation of all of his peers. These are tough times for a lot of people. Anyhow, it doesn't matter what other people have, you have what you have. Try to be supportive. And consider going back to work. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 12:35 PM Flag
»
he is about to be joined by plenty of peers. don't know his field but have you read the newspaper? lots of people think what we're in/ facing is closer to a depression than a recession. be disappointed but don't be angry at him (assuming he didn't do something terrible to lose his job). Find the best solution for your family and move on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 12:42 PM Flag
»
where were you these last 5 years?? Just because you take care of kids during day doesn't let you off the hook for asking questions about personal finance and savings. Just like his job doesn't end at 5, neither did yours. Unless you have some other reason to blame him other than he just lost his job, you need to stop the resentment and start fixing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 01:09 PM Flag
»
ITA. There are a lot of SAHMs who are also responsible for the household finances, who would be very aware of the household financial situation. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 01:15 PM Flag
[ - ] It's true that people try to size up your dc if they find out dc is going to TT or Hunter or Anderson. Try to see if there's something special that might stand out about your dc in their very short observation and sometimes, even ask academic questions inappropriately. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 07.27.08, 05:46 AM Flag
»
I doubt it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:35 AM Flag
»
Happens all the time. No quizzing but I see fallen faces every time someone asks where dc is at school, same thing that happened to us as dcs [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:29 AM Flag
»
I have not experienced that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
»
different experience I guess [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
»
Fallen faces? Why would they be sad? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
»
People hate to hear someone else has a better life/school etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:20 AM Flag
»
I've never noticed that. And what's an inappropriate academic question anyway? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:38 AM Flag
»
Some people start quizzing the dc. Ask them to read or spell certain words. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:41 AM Flag
»
My dc would think that was fun to do. At any rate, the people who knew where dc got in for K were also people who knew dc (and what dc was like) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:45 AM Flag
»
Of course people who know your dc don't do this sort of thing. It's the people you just meet or don't know dc well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:48 AM Flag
»
As a dc I did notice how adults would react to where I went to school. I would assume it is the same now. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:47 AM Flag
»
I do that. I wonder what the kid or the family has (if its private). It top public, I check out to see if they seem smarter than other kids. some do, some don't. hope the parents don't notice. perhaps they do. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:29 AM Flag
»
btw, I never quiz just pay attention to the kid. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
»
I hope you don't. You could be very subtle and just watch a dc which is fine but to "test" a kid is in poor taste and possibly harmful to the dc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:31 AM Flag
»
we have a dc at top public. I agree. people react. Its strange. I have no idea what dc makes of it, if anything. But I get the impression he notices. very perceptive kid, and it seems he notices the special attention. he doesn't say anything, but he seems different when people ask and react. has never been quizzed, but he is a very talkative, outgoing dc, so they don't have to. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 07:37 AM Flag
»
This whole top public business is such nonsense, just tiers that public moms create to make themselves feel special some of the dimmest dcs are 'G&T' lololol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 08:25 AM Flag
»
we are at anderson, and I would be hard pressed to name a dim dc. as for many other schools, including a number of privates, the dimmest kids got accepted. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 10:55 AM Flag
»
why must you continue to try to tear down others? all the tiers, public and private, signify schools that are the most desirable because of various qualities/characteristics. It is only useful as a way of identifying schools that have what you and others are looking for. this applies in both public and private spheres. why wouldn't it? what is the big joke about? I don't get you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 12:13 PM Flag
»
When I meet a kid from H or A I'm first jealous because my kid got 99's across the board and didn't get in to those schools. Then, if it's Anderson, I find myself sizing up the parents to see if there is any truth to the horrible reputation A parents have in this town. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
»
Only really tacky people. I have never met anyone who has done this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.28.08, 07:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Montclair area - has anyone used Nanny Mama to find a nanny? I'm thinking about it but can't find any user reviews or info on their site about fees, etc. Thanks. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 05:36 AM Flag
»
I just used Dakota Nanny. They were just ok. I have heard great things about Noble Nannies, but I found out about them after I had paid an application fee to Dakota. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 06:10 AM Flag
[ - ] totally curious and just want to check out their websites. what do you think is the most expensive kids or babies' boutique in new york, la and chicago? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.27.08, 05:14 AM Flag
»
Hermes has a baby collection [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 05:15 AM Flag
»
really?! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 05:16 AM Flag
»
Sweaters, cashmere stuffed animals, hats, silver spoons, blankets, and things like that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.27.08, 05:35 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions