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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] if your dh said some really cruel stuff to you and about you in front of in laws as well, has yet to apologize or talk w/you, would you continue to wait for him, or broach the topic yourself? if yes to start, how best to phrase it? fear is he will still be adamant he did nothing wrong and i will be numb and devastated. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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I would broach the topic myself, but in as nonconfrontational a way as possible. If he still thinks he has done nothing wrong, then you can have it out. Better than letting it fester and being pissed off at him when he might not even know why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Broach it this way: What you said hurt my feelings terribly. I feel really devastated and need to talk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Are we as bad as I think? Two kids. HHI: $135K. Savings: $60K, Retirement: $40K (low, we know, but we're freelance and it took us a while to be able to put $$$ away). No cc debt. Rent: $3000. Watching Suze Orman and feeling woefully behind in the financial game. College savings fund: $3000 for each kid. (Again, not a lot but we're trying.) 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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How old are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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36. Dh is 39. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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Won't let me reply under your age response. FWIW, I don't think your stats are too bad. Ramp it up now though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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You're doing better than most people, and you have no debt. Just keep working at it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
[ - ] if you are a sahm w/2 kids, no $$ of your own, dependant on dh, own house (dh bought w/his $). if facing divorce, how would this bode for the wife? is she totally screwed? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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Not an expert, but I think she'd get the house if she has the kids, alimony and child support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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She'll get something. Child support? That being said, she will most likely have to get a job. How long married? Any prenup? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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If no prenup, I'm pretty sure she would get at least half of all the assets accumulated since they got married..so even if he bought the house, she would get 1/2 of the appreciation of it, plus half of all the money he's saved since marriage. This would be in addition to child support, alimony etc (but the alimony could be contingent upon her looking for work) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] so depressed. my wedding jewelry was stolen from my house by workers who have been here w/out incident for over a year. in laws think i'm an irresponsible mess, it's all my fault, dh blames me, is hurt and furious. thinks i'm a careless mess. no compassion, understanding, forgiveness, etc. feel so scared, that we mutually feel we married the wrong person. he wants me to be anal homemaker (his mom). i just want him to understand, know what i'm going through, love me, etc. mother died when eldest dd was a few months, things have been very hard. he's made no apology or attempt to connect with me. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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How do you know it was the workers? Did you file a police report. Is insurance covering the loss? Are they family heirlooms or something? Sorry about your mom and all the angst right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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not family heirlooms. from store and diamond district. still very sentimental, feel horrible, wish i had them locked up. wish dh understood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. I know they had great sentimental value. This too will pass, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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i'm sorry--but things like this happen. dh needs to come to terms that his family is more important than stuff [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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how much do you drink? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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don't drink at all. father was alcoholic. not going to be my fate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Having a baby in July and the other one child will be 3. Should I buy a double stroller or should I just let 3 year old walk and have baby in stroller? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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3 yo should walk but don't expect too much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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should I buy a double? How long will the 3 year old be in the stroller [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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personally I wouldn't. my dc was done with the stroller by 4. I only took it if we were going to be out for the whole day when she was 3. get one of those board ride on thingys [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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How good a walker is older dc now? You can always carry nb in sling or Bjorn for at least the first 6mos or so, so 3yo can ride when tired. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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baby in bjorn or stroller and buggyboard sounds great thanks ladies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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you're welcome [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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my 2d db was born when #1 was 3.1yo, didn't bother with double stroller. used bjorn/ergo a lot in first few months, and in any event, #1 really didn't need stroller much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
[ - ] I hate posting like this 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Threw my 3 y/o son a birthday party in the park today. Found a shady, breezy spot, decorated trees with crepe paper streamers and balloons, and served subs, salads, chips, drinks and cake. Did face painting (a HUGE hit), and a pinata. Lasted 4 hours, totally fun. Old and new friends came, some with kids and some without. Specifically asked for no gifts, and it was perfect (he doesn't need any more stuff, and didn't want new friends/neighbors to feel like they had to shell out $ for someone they just met). It was a lovely, lovely afternoon. 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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sounds great. Wish my ds had a warm-weather birthday! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I'm acting out my childhood fantasies... I was born in January during the school vacation. No cupcakes at school, no outdoor parties. I'm doing it all now! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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nice except for the no gifts part. that's a big part of the fun for your ds and also rude to your guests [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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itd (I posted above that it sounds great.) I'm sure her ds is getting plenty of birthday presents, and the fun thing is the party. And it's bizarre to think that telling guests not to bother with gifts is rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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My son is an only child, and the first child born in my family since 1972. He gets a LOT of presents (we constantly have to call off the grandmothers, who routinely do things like each send him an entire wardrobe every season and enough toys for an entire preschool). Also, a lot of our neighbors are on either a fixed income or welfare, so I didn't feel bad about doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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UBers (at least the old UBers) get very upset about the no-gift thing. I never understood why. That's really all they thought was fun when they were kids, getting a zillion gifts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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it is part of the birthday fun, yes. guess you don't remember being a kid. kids love presents and surprises. and guests feel awkward about showing up empty handed and hosts look pretentious when they tell you not to "bother" as the above poster said, they clearly don't need any junky crap you might buy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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No, I didn't say "don't bother". I said "Your presence is our gift". And our son had something like 20 gifts already... he doesn't need/want anything at all. He wanted to play with kids and nobody cared a bit. We also gave an open invitation to all the kids in his daycare class, and we didn't want the parents we'd never met to feel like we were just inviting people to get a bunch of stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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^^And by the way, I'm not sure why you're being so insulting to me. It was a perfect dynamic, and a perfect afternoon. I made the right call: I know my neighbors, I know the situation, and it was the best thing to do. I feel confident in my decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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ok but it was still really tacky of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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OP: ignore this troll. She is from a very materialistic, crass group of people who put too much value on things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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^^^it really does sound as if it was a lovely day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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you're an idiot. it's not about WHAT the kid gets. it's about the fact that presents are part of the birthday fun. it's traditional, and kids like gifts. say no gifts for your own party, don't take it away from your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Okay, you're getting a tad out of hand. Why don't you relax, collapse and leave us alone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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why do I have to? why don't you do the same?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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It's my post! I'm actually giggling... you are so funny! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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so? it's your post, so you get to tell me to get off it now? like it's your party, so you have to dictate that no one brings your kid a gift? are you always this controlling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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you are so projecting on your kid! The ds is getting gifts; it's just not part of that particular party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Like I said, I don't like to be asked to a party then told her kid is too good for my gift. it's tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Riiiiiiiiiiiight... because that's exactly what I meant. You know what? If you feel so unhappy about your life that you have to pick on total strangers, I feel bad for you. I hope you find some contentment and learn how to see the world from different viewpoints. Sayonara. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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what? you're nuts. I said you were projecting. You're the hostile one who was attacking OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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so what exactly am I "projecting?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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that your kid will feel deprived if he gets only 20 gifts for his birthday instead of 40. That your kid can't have fun at a party without a huge pile of gifts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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again. its not about that. again. if your kid doesn't need 40 gifts then donate some. but AGAIN. don't tell guests what to do about gifts for the birthday party. don't mention gifts or lack thereof on an invite. don't presume anything at all. be gracious and donate later. don't make guests come empty handed and feel awkward bc you can't deal with "too many gifts" or whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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You don't think it's tackier to donate gifts that people spent time and money (and for some people, believe it or not, it's real money, even if it's a $15 gift) to pick out for you dc? How about bringing a bottle of wine or something for the hosts then? Would that solve the problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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^^^replies are going in weird places [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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no it's not at all tackier, bc no one knows but you. once you give a gift, it's not your business what is done with it anyway. and no, wine is not an appropriate gift for a 3 yo's birthday party. that's just not how it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Sure, because it's all about you and your gift. Please come enjoy our party becomes and insult to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Who made up these rules? And who cares about them. I would feel much worse about buying something that the dc never touched than not buying anything at all if that's what the parents want. And I said wine or something else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??? You wouldn't, so don't worry, your feelings won't be hurt. Some ppl, however, will be offended by being ordered not to bring gifts to a party. And it has to be a gift for the birthday kid, not the parents! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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np: i don't think it was tacky at all. i've been to many "no gifts" parties and it's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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You know what? My neighbors don't hew to your hoity toity rulebook. So suck it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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no I didn't say you said it, I said the above poster who thinks it's "bizarre" that ppl don't like being told not to bother with gifts. To me it is not a bother, if you are kind enough to invite my child then I want to send a gift and it is appropriate to do so. it is not appropriate for you to tell me I can't. And that cheesy line is just gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Whatever. To each his own. I think you should cool your jets and stop being so judgmental towards people you have never met. Now THAT'S cheesy and gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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you post here, you get all sorts of opinions and responses. deal with it, or keep your bragging to yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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I'm not bragging, good grief! I am telling about a nice day. There's no need to be so unkind. Karma... think about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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of course you are, why else such a vapid, pointless, pat yourself on the back post?? I am telling you it sounds like a nice party BUT the no gifts thing was tacky, and you can't handle it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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OMG, you are a trip. "Vapid"? "Pointless"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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"Never show up empty-handed" is a nice rule of thumb, but it isn't the most important rule of etiquette. I think OP is right; insulting someone who has different values is far more tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Ordinarily I also go with the "never show up emptyhanded" rule, too. I was not, as the troll seems to think, brought up in a barn. However, we just moved to a different area and I wanted people to have fun, not to feel like they had to buy something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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I agree with you, OP. I was just recognizing the silly "rule" that makes people go ballistic on this subject. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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Any mention of gifts, ever, is just TACKY. if your ds got too much then you should donate some. But just the fact that you told ppl NOT to bring gifts meant that you expected them anyway. That my dear is tacky. No matter how you try to spin it. NEVER MENTION GIFTS ON AN INVITE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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to Martha Stewart above (I can't reply to her post), well, la-di-da. (not OP) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I do remember being a kid. We just had family parties, and got presents from our families and a few friends. We never got those, plus 20 extra little gifts from other friends. It's too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you push bright preschooler into older class. Or allow them to stay with age group? Consisitantly performing 6-18 months above age. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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stay with age group, I guess, since preschool is about socialization, although if there's a choice, a mixed-age class might be best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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that is not an option. We gave up school choice for living at the beach...and choices are she will be the oldest in the class, with kids 8-9 months younger then her...or her be one of the youngest in the class. No inbetween. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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^^^UB won't let me reply to your post below. If she's only going to be a few months younger than the younger ones in that group, I might go for older group, then. (I thought she'd be a year younger than older group.) One problem is, though, what you do the next year, when older kids are moving on to K (or is she 2?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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^^^lol, your post above, I guess. Anyway, I'd live at the beach too if I could. Sounds great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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At most she will be 1 month younger then the youngesdt kid in the older class. She could be 9 months older then the youngest kid in the younger clas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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OH, go with the older class then, if preschool thinks she can handle it. That is, if there won't be a problem next year. Will she just end up with the younger kids next year, or the year after that, or will she be old enough to start K with the older kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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If she keeps this pace up (potty trained, reading, hopping, riding a tryke at 20 months) then MD wants to test into pre-k early, Deadline is Aug 31, she is OCt 16...so again not that big a difference. Well that is the thing school A says she needs to stay with younger kids because they use scissors in 2 yr old program ...school b says they think she would do fine in older program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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meant test into K early [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Wait, how old is she? Do you mean they use scissors in the 3yo program? If she's only 1, keep her with the younger kids, see how it goes and jump her the next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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nope , they use scissors (1 on 1) with the 2 yr olds. She will be 23 months in Sept. They do not use it in the younger class. DD can use scissors safely (not well) anyway, so point is moot. She is signed up for both schools now, so I will see what my gut says I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Never never never push a child ahead. Worste thing to happen is that your kid will be the smartest and tallest kid in their class(I am a teacher&mom) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] How much is a movie ticket for an adult now? 10? 12? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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$20 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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come on. no one here goes to the movies and knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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did you think i was joking? in nyc, around $20. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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for one adult ticket to a movie it is not $20. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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$18 in nyc (buying it online) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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OMG! Haven't been to the movies in ages. (2 kids) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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you are so lying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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I am so not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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yes you are bc I just pretended I was going to buy tickets online at Kips Bay and it said # of adults x $12.00. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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keep on pretending [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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um, ok. so does anyone actually ever go to the movies that knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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it's 12 but go to fandango if you don't believe us. It's more if you use their service [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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thanks. it is 12, and that is what I wanted to know, not how much to use an online service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Need some advice 21/2 month old boy is starting to potty train. He wants nothing to do with the toliet. Should I just buy one of those stupid kid potty's ? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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My ds preferred the potty seat. You have the seat that goes on the toilet, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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we were only going to buy the seat for on top the bowl but then were told to get a miny toloiet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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try the seat on top of the bowl. It makes the toilet less scary. If ds still objects, get the separate potty seat. I preferred the separate potty in the beginning, since is was easier for ds to get to, but cleaning it's a pain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you say anything if a mom in your dc's PreK kept slamming your decision for K. It is getting on my nerves. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I'd just say, We're happy with it, and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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I pretty much said that, but she kept going on. I can't figure out if she is just daft and doesn't realize that she is insulting me, or if she is doing it on purpose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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I would just look at her, smile and say, "Well, your kid doesn't have to go there! But we like it and we're not going to change our minds". Then hope she gets the hint. If she doesn't and says she wasn't trying to change your mind, then ask her what is the point of going on and and on about it? She doesn't like the school, you got it. That should do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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I'd brightly say to her, next time she does it "I'm sorry, am I missing something? Have I somehow offended you? Because I'm not sure why you're going out of your way to make this kind of comment about my choice of K" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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nah. I wouldn't be so aggressive about it. Do the passive-aggressive thing above! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] AC is broken so have fan in DD's room. Is onesie ok? Worry that she is hot but with fan blowing on her also worry about her getting a chill. 7mo, btw. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.07.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Shortsleeved onesie is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Thanks. I am always second guessing myself. Why can't I figure out what to put my baby in to sleep?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know about Nursemaids elbow? My DD dislocated her elbow for the 4th time in less then 8 months today and not liking this "she just needs to grow out of it" attitude. If anyone has any input please let me know 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.07.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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IT happens, some kids have more "sensitive" joints. My dd is like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Anything I can do? She was just jumping up and down and holding my hand when she dislocated it today. It seems like it is taking less and less to dislocate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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That has happened to dd as well. There is not much to do but to be extra careful. How old is dd? I really think it happens more during growth spurts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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It has happenend at 12 months, 15 months, 19 months and then today 3 days short of 20 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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It really is just something kids need to grow out of unfortunately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Can I just say, central air ROCKS! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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