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06.07.08, 18:28 PM General Topics
44 replies
Threw my 3 y/o son a birthday party in the park today. Found a shady, breezy spot, decorated trees with crepe paper streamers and balloons, and served subs, salads, chips, drinks and cake. Did face painting (a HUGE hit), and a pinata. Lasted 4 hours, totally fun. Old and new friends came, some with kids and some without. Specifically asked for no gifts, and it was perfect (he doesn't need any more stuff, and didn't want new friends/neighbors to feel like they had to shell out $ for someone they just met). It was a lovely, lovely afternoon. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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sounds great. Wish my ds had a warm-weather birthday! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I'm acting out my childhood fantasies... I was born in January during the school vacation. No cupcakes at school, no outdoor parties. I'm doing it all now! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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nice except for the no gifts part. that's a big part of the fun for your ds and also rude to your guests [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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itd (I posted above that it sounds great.) I'm sure her ds is getting plenty of birthday presents, and the fun thing is the party. And it's bizarre to think that telling guests not to bother with gifts is rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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My son is an only child, and the first child born in my family since 1972. He gets a LOT of presents (we constantly have to call off the grandmothers, who routinely do things like each send him an entire wardrobe every season and enough toys for an entire preschool). Also, a lot of our neighbors are on either a fixed income or welfare, so I didn't feel bad about doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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UBers (at least the old UBers) get very upset about the no-gift thing. I never understood why. That's really all they thought was fun when they were kids, getting a zillion gifts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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it is part of the birthday fun, yes. guess you don't remember being a kid. kids love presents and surprises. and guests feel awkward about showing up empty handed and hosts look pretentious when they tell you not to "bother" as the above poster said, they clearly don't need any junky crap you might buy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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No, I didn't say "don't bother". I said "Your presence is our gift". And our son had something like 20 gifts already... he doesn't need/want anything at all. He wanted to play with kids and nobody cared a bit. We also gave an open invitation to all the kids in his daycare class, and we didn't want the parents we'd never met to feel like we were just inviting people to get a bunch of stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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^^And by the way, I'm not sure why you're being so insulting to me. It was a perfect dynamic, and a perfect afternoon. I made the right call: I know my neighbors, I know the situation, and it was the best thing to do. I feel confident in my decision. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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ok but it was still really tacky of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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OP: ignore this troll. She is from a very materialistic, crass group of people who put too much value on things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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^^^it really does sound as if it was a lovely day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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you're an idiot. it's not about WHAT the kid gets. it's about the fact that presents are part of the birthday fun. it's traditional, and kids like gifts. say no gifts for your own party, don't take it away from your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Okay, you're getting a tad out of hand. Why don't you relax, collapse and leave us alone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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why do I have to? why don't you do the same?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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It's my post! I'm actually giggling... you are so funny! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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so? it's your post, so you get to tell me to get off it now? like it's your party, so you have to dictate that no one brings your kid a gift? are you always this controlling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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you are so projecting on your kid! The ds is getting gifts; it's just not part of that particular party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Like I said, I don't like to be asked to a party then told her kid is too good for my gift. it's tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Riiiiiiiiiiiight... because that's exactly what I meant. You know what? If you feel so unhappy about your life that you have to pick on total strangers, I feel bad for you. I hope you find some contentment and learn how to see the world from different viewpoints. Sayonara. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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what? you're nuts. I said you were projecting. You're the hostile one who was attacking OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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so what exactly am I "projecting?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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that your kid will feel deprived if he gets only 20 gifts for his birthday instead of 40. That your kid can't have fun at a party without a huge pile of gifts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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again. its not about that. again. if your kid doesn't need 40 gifts then donate some. but AGAIN. don't tell guests what to do about gifts for the birthday party. don't mention gifts or lack thereof on an invite. don't presume anything at all. be gracious and donate later. don't make guests come empty handed and feel awkward bc you can't deal with "too many gifts" or whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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You don't think it's tackier to donate gifts that people spent time and money (and for some people, believe it or not, it's real money, even if it's a $15 gift) to pick out for you dc? How about bringing a bottle of wine or something for the hosts then? Would that solve the problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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^^^replies are going in weird places [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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no it's not at all tackier, bc no one knows but you. once you give a gift, it's not your business what is done with it anyway. and no, wine is not an appropriate gift for a 3 yo's birthday party. that's just not how it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Sure, because it's all about you and your gift. Please come enjoy our party becomes and insult to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Who made up these rules? And who cares about them. I would feel much worse about buying something that the dc never touched than not buying anything at all if that's what the parents want. And I said wine or something else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??? You wouldn't, so don't worry, your feelings won't be hurt. Some ppl, however, will be offended by being ordered not to bring gifts to a party. And it has to be a gift for the birthday kid, not the parents! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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np: i don't think it was tacky at all. i've been to many "no gifts" parties and it's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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You know what? My neighbors don't hew to your hoity toity rulebook. So suck it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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no I didn't say you said it, I said the above poster who thinks it's "bizarre" that ppl don't like being told not to bother with gifts. To me it is not a bother, if you are kind enough to invite my child then I want to send a gift and it is appropriate to do so. it is not appropriate for you to tell me I can't. And that cheesy line is just gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Whatever. To each his own. I think you should cool your jets and stop being so judgmental towards people you have never met. Now THAT'S cheesy and gross. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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you post here, you get all sorts of opinions and responses. deal with it, or keep your bragging to yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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I'm not bragging, good grief! I am telling about a nice day. There's no need to be so unkind. Karma... think about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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of course you are, why else such a vapid, pointless, pat yourself on the back post?? I am telling you it sounds like a nice party BUT the no gifts thing was tacky, and you can't handle it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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OMG, you are a trip. "Vapid"? "Pointless"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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"Never show up empty-handed" is a nice rule of thumb, but it isn't the most important rule of etiquette. I think OP is right; insulting someone who has different values is far more tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Ordinarily I also go with the "never show up emptyhanded" rule, too. I was not, as the troll seems to think, brought up in a barn. However, we just moved to a different area and I wanted people to have fun, not to feel like they had to buy something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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I agree with you, OP. I was just recognizing the silly "rule" that makes people go ballistic on this subject. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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Any mention of gifts, ever, is just TACKY. if your ds got too much then you should donate some. But just the fact that you told ppl NOT to bring gifts meant that you expected them anyway. That my dear is tacky. No matter how you try to spin it. NEVER MENTION GIFTS ON AN INVITE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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to Martha Stewart above (I can't reply to her post), well, la-di-da. (not OP) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I do remember being a kid. We just had family parties, and got presents from our families and a few friends. We never got those, plus 20 extra little gifts from other friends. It's too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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