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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] person i am dating has a crazy busy schedule lately. he still makes time to see me however i have to do all the inviting. he used to ask me sunday for dinner on wednesday, but since we got more serious, he seems very comfortable and doesnt "ask" me out anymore. instead it seems like i do all the asking but he always says yes. is it terrible that i do the asking now? i know its breaking all the rules. or should i boycott the asking and wait to see if he asks me out. that being said, we spend all of our free time together. he certainly isn't blowing me off by any means 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.24.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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what makes you think he isn't blowing you off ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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if he was blowing me off wouldn't he make excuses to not see me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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maybe the offers you make seem better than a day alone, but he doesn't really care enough to call you himself to make plans. maybe it's an indifference ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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really? this is depressing. fwiw, he does cut biz trips short to see me and come home early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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^^^also he always calls me. i never call him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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Well if he always calls you then he must want to talk to you. I now change my initial opinion to side with other poster who suggested you tell him how you feel and he willmost likely try to be more attentive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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I would just say to him what you just said i'm sure he'll understand and start making more of an effort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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you need to talk to him about this becuase you are confused. sort it out and i think everything will be better and you will both be closer for it. that's how relationships grow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:49 PM Flag
[ - ] The older men get, the more childlike they become. The older women get, the more competant they become. Discuss. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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I disagree. I think my husband is more mature than he was when he was younger and he's certainly more mature than the men I dated when I was younger. And having kids definitely made us both more competant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Do kids who get tutored outside the school at TTs get tutoring bec their grades are bad? Or are they A students with crazy moms with money to burn? TIA. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.24.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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To up their grades it is very competitive and the dcs that are not just genuinely bright have to work a lot harder to keep up at TT than at other schools. That way when I was there, when dh was there, when sister was there and now with our dcs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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But if you are at TT, are you not smart already? I mean, don't they weed out unsmart kids or expel them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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They do starting in 3rd grade. There is no question you need to be well above average intelligence to survive but even in the top schools there will be some dcs smarter than others and some who need to work harder for that A than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Hmmm... This is making me a bit nervous (about how dd would do)... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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I wasn't planning to tutor dd at all. No prep and did very well on all tests. Assumed she'd do well all on her own, but if other moms are hiring tutors for their smart kids, I don't know if she'd do okay IF graded on a curve. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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Not everyone had or has tutors. I would say 70% of the tutored dcs are asked to leave by 6th grade and then only a few stragglers keep tutors but once everyone is in HS not even tutors can help so everyone drops them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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Big thank you. That is good to know. I can't believe kids under 6th grade have to be tutored... do they have trouble reading or something? I suppose nobody hires tutors for history or something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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For all subjects, history english, math, languages, science. By the time they enter HS though the schools have gone so beyond a normal curriculum that most tutors really cannot be much help so the dcs go it alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Of course there are tutors in HS. Are you kidding? The tutors usually went to these TT schools themselves and then to top colleges. Who do you think writes the papers for a lot of these HS kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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np: Nobody wants to be a B student any more, and there are those at TT schools. Even C students as a matter of fact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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Everyone wants to be an A student but no great school gives out As to everyone, they grade against the performance of the entire class - so the work you need to do to get a B at a great TT, would produce an A at a less competitive or difficult school. Of course there are C students and failing students at all the TT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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But nobody wants to be one, which is why so many kids have tutors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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We all had tutors, it wasn't about getting an A it was getting through [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:57 PM Flag
[ - ] I have been feeling guilty for months. To my surprise my DD got a 99 on G & T. Turns out tester (her teacher) finished test for her. DD told me she was bored so teacher just kept filling in bubbles. Teacher adores her, I know. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.24.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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Who cares. The only thing people care about is where your dd was placed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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OP: Anderson [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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nice trolling here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Please try harder to come up with a better fake post. This one bites. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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yes... say something like tester was an old girlfriend of DH and after they made love in the broom closet for old time's sake your DC got a 99 and placed exactly where you wanted her to place [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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nice try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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You should be feeling concerned for your dc, rather than guilty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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I am very concerned...What do they do there if you aren't passing the muster? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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lucky kid! why don't you come clean to DOE? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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would you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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We paid ds's tester -- $1,000 visa gift card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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I personally know 3 kids who cheated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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personally, eh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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I had sex with the teacher. Anything to get my kid into Anderson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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I dressed up in dd's clothes, walked on my knees, and used a squeaky voice so I could take the test myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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LOL!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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i assume you are all lying? this is absurd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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What do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible for me to renew an expired passport by July 10th or am I dreaming? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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possible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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yes. call one of the companies that charge an arm and a leg and they will expidite it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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Yes, if you're prepared to pay extra fees to expedite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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The fees will most likely be worth it to tag along on a trip. No? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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yes . vacation - all i ever wanted. vacation - have to get away... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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yes, I'm pretty sure you can do it same day or maybe it is 3 days, but it's expensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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For an essentially free trip to Italy ... I'll pay it. Anyone know the names of the companies? I guess I can just google... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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just go into the phone book [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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opps I'm wrong about that... if it's w/in 14 days you need to call them http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/processing/processing_1740.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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need to apply in person... I'm not sure the companies can do it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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It's 16 days. Well 15 if I do this tomorrow... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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Are you counting the 4th? They are closed for the holiday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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Argh. No. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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I would call today before close of business [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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np: you can make it faster by bringing express mail envelopes with you - one to send it out, one for returning it - both with prepaid stamps of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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I did it. You make an appointment and then wait all day but you can do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks everyone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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Not sure if you are still watching this but we had an emergency trip to Italy in January 2007 and were able to get my ds's passport in 4 business days using www.passportsandvisas.com. It obviously costs more than simply applying to the State Dept. but it was really fast. The only other caveat is that we did this before the major passport backlog that has occurred recently, but the service was great and I'm sure they will give you a realistic idea of timing. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I am looking for a new stroller for dd (20 months). It needs to be light weight, have a 5 point (at least) harness and be easy to fold and cary on subway. She does not like the way the seat in the maclaren is reclined backwards. She has been in a combi since birth but our constant walking is hard on the wheels...so is the cargo area of planes. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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mac volo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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She really hates the maclaren, that was my first choice..any other ideas? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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you mentioned because it reclines though - the volo does not recline [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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I am sorry, I misspoke (typed) I meant that the seat is angled bacwards, she does not like that angle. She needs a seat that will recline though, because we are often out past her 6pm bedtime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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mac triumph. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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Any other ideas? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Question: If I collect unemployment now for lay off but take a PT job and then it ends a month from now, will I be able to re register for unemployment? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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You have to have full time employment for I think at least 2 quarters before you will qualify again for unemployment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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TY! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
[ - ] would you trust hotel babysitting service? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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yes, i've used one before. it was a little nervewracking but turned out ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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now that i think about it, might not have been worth it unless it was hugely important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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we have done this at a resort and it was fine - the college kids who work there in the summer would babysit at night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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yeah it's fine but you might be more comfortable if you can meet the person before, just so you can back out if you don't feel ok [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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no i would not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Yes, as long as nice hotel with really good service. We've done it at fancy resort and the woman was top-notch. But not sure if I'd feel comfortable with Holiday Inn babysitters, you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any pt jobs in advertising? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.24.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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you can usually get freelance. register with creative cirlce or someplace like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is very frustrated with his job and thinking about looking into changing from big corp lawfirm to smaller firm or consulting. However, he would take a pretty serious paycut in this economy, and my salary is peanuts compared to his. Should he stick it out and be miserable, or is it feasible to look for another job? We're in NYC, but will consider moving (but not to anywhere that would be much "cheaper" cost of living-wise) 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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being miserable - IMHO - is not a viable option. Life is too short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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Miserable is too strong, I guess. He alternates between loving his job and being frustrated and exhausted by the long hours. And his hours fluctuate a lot based on his cases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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that's most people though, isn't it ? do you think he would be happier in a diff job or do you think that this is how he is "made" ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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I kind of feel like that's how he's "made" because he's the type to take on extra work even though he doesn't need it. Was top biller his year last year and is already on pace to make his pace next month... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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you must never see him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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lol, actually it isn't *that* bad, he works from home when he can. But yes, it does suck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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how many hours did he bill - my DH struggles to hit 1800 and I mean struggles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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How does he struggle? Is he corp? DH is a litigator (international arb). Last year he billed 2500, his firm's pace is 1900 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:25 PM Flag
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OMG! That is billing about 65 hours a week which means he must be working a minimum of 80 hours...unless he is a partner and gets no mark downs? That is heroic of both of you! My DH is so slow he bills 3 hours for every 4 worked...it is awful and he can't seem to speed it up either. He is a litigator too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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Yes, he usually bills about that, and on average works 70-75 hour weeks. Occasionally he's hit the 100 hour mark which is insane. Honestly i don't know how much longer either of us can handle it, but I know that when he's enjoying his work he LOVES his job. DH is a very smart guy and good worker, and is quite efficient with his time, from what I know - usually turns thing around much faster than his fellow associates (yes, he's an assoc - 4th year) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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Well I also posted above about my BF and DH. But if your DH is only a 4th year associate billing at that rate he is going to do very very well. Hang in there, do what you can to enhance your quality of life (knock those hours down by 100 and take a couple of good vacations) and good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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Thanks... we are going to try to take 2 weeks off in Sept for a vacation, and next year he'll be teachinga class at Harvard in Jan so he'll basically miss billing for a month, which should be a bit of a rest for him. I know he's doing well, but he keeps saying he doesn't know if he wants to make partner but clearly working like that I think he does [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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than maybe a new job isn't the right decision. I usually subscribe to the "better the devil you know than the devil you don't know" theory in these instances [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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he should start something new [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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Hi - I have some good experience for you to consider. My BF (married no DCs) left her big law partner-track position for a smaller boutique with the promise of fewer hours/more mentoring/more focus on her career development AND a big pay cut. Well she is quite bitter now 4 years later because she is working just like she always did, she is not feeling mentored at all and she is making considerably less money. My DH is also a small firm attorney and I can assure he works just as hard and just as long as corp lawyer for a lot less money. My advice: stay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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this is a good warning. lifestyle firm is a misnomer in almost all cases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Thanks, I appreciate this. Do you know anyone who works in-house for corps? I know one woman who left a firm because she wanted to have kids and is now very happy at a bank with good hours... but don't know about pay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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We've looked into it - max. $100 but I am not in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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That's definintely not in NYC. Have dh call a head hunter. I don't know his area of expertise or his level, but it isn't unusual at all to see $200k a few years out or $300k+ packages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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OP - DH gets called by headhunters all the time, and I think he'd make lateral pay, but without as much growth or large bonuses. Not really sure if it is a good move or not, especially if he's still working as much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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Exactly right. Better quality of life in house, but pay is most definitely higher at a large law firm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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. . . but I've never heard of someone working as much in house. The working as much trap is generally at smaller firms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Ok, thanks. DH and I will look into inhouse options [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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If you try to keep him where he is making more money but not happy, eventually he will start to resent you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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I'm not trying to keep him anywhere. I'm just looking for some advice from others who have btdt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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my DH is in house (as am I - but PT) he does have a great QOL and he is paid well for inhouse, but it does not compare to big firm pay AT ALL. he is now struggling with his ego because he feels he should be making more $$ but doesn't really wwant to go back to firm life. Its a trade off. In my experience in house positions pay anywhere from 100k - 300K unless you are a GC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:31 PM Flag
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Thanks. When did he (and you) make the transition to in house? How big of a paycut? DH makes @200K before bonus at the moment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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i am not well paid, (IMO) but work 3 days and basically 9-5:30. with alot of flexibility. My full time pay is 125,000 plus 25,000 bonus. Obviously making 3/5 of that now. I am also more than 10 years out of law school. Made the transition years ago, before having kids.at the time I took about a 40% pay cut. DH transitioned ony 3 years ago or so and took no cut at the time, but the growth potential salarywise is compromised. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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^^^I should correct that last statement, my DH, who is at an IB (as a lawyer) makes about 350,000 all in (bonus - some paid in stock). he hasn;'t found a position that will offer him much more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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That's still pretty good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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yes, as I said its pretty much the max in house in my experience. still it doesn't compare to a partner at biglaw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:45 PM Flag
[ - ] how do you get on the yahoo g&t board 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.24.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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you have to request to be a member. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
[ - ] DC (9 and 7) found our neighbor just outside his door this Am in a pool of blood. he apparently was slipped something by a date last night and slipped and fell down his stairs where he stayed the entire night. The ambulance drivers say he is lucky to be alive from blood loss and whatever else. Kids traumatized, appts tomorrow individually with psychologists. Advice ? 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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Is he still in the hospital? Could you visit? It would likely be helpful for them to see that he's okay. Maybe you could all pitch in and make him some cookies or something? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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Just saw him driven home and he is bandaged and swollen. I told DC that he just got home so he must be OK, but I think seeing the blood and "lifeless" body is a bit much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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That's a tough thing to see, but once they see him up and okay (even if all bandaged) those other images will go on the backburner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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yes. when he is ready to see them I will have them go by. good idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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Tell them that they saved him. Try to make them feel proud to have helped someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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No kidding - how pathetic that now we need crisis counseling for being heros. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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NP - they're CHILDREN!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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whats your point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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That seeing something as traumatizing as a lifeless body in a pool of blood may affect them in a way it wouldn't affect an adult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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They saved his life! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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Right - I get that they are heroes and agree how it can be positioned to them. But the person who says it's pathetic they might need counseling needs to stfu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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Actually that is me - I said both comments. Tell them how brave and special they are and call it a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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You respond to yourself? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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maybe she feel and hit her head ?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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^^ meant "fell" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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don't you have somewhere to be right now Nurse Ratchett ?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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that is not at all what I meant... I was trying to her her redirect her kids fear into something positive! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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Yes. They think that and I hope it is somewhat empowering, but they are really freaked about how it happened and why nobody helped him. i said he probably just fell in the dark, but they are afraid that someone could have come by and hurt him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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that part would probably be helped by visiting him in the hospital. I'm sure that he was not a victim of violence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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According to his friend, he was slipped a mickey by a blind date and robbed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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that's a bit harder... do the kids know this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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I do not think they overheard this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:28 PM Flag
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Then stress that someone did help him, your sons! And they were there just at the right time to save him. If you are religious, you could add that god put them there just in time (not sure if I believe that or not, but it can be a very comforting thought). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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don't let your kids know this - there is no reason for them to (I'm the poster below who found my friend's dad. I didn't know until years later that he has learned he had cancer and decided to end his life because of it. That would have made it much harder, since he could have had a longer time with my bf) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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I will not tell them, certainly. I want them to think he fell / tripped. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:30 PM Flag
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I hope your neighbor is ok. Your kids will be fine, and I really don't think they need to see a psychologist. FWIW, I found my best friend's father after he committed suicide when I was 10. it was scary and traumatic but 18 years later I'm not scarred by it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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This is an interesting perspective. My older is very sensitive and worried about death which is why we made an appt right away with the psych he has discussed this with before, but how did seeing that affect you ? immediately after ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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It affected me, but I found talking about it with my parents (neither of whom are psychologists) was the most helpful thing. Kids at that age are worried by death (I recall before this happened that I would be afraid to fall asleep because I was scared I would die in my sleep), but it is normal. I was obviously freaked out to find my best friend's dad with a shot in his head, and the image is still with me, but the pain I felt for my friend outweighed it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:27 PM Flag
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thank you. My DS is very concerned with death since I lost my mother when i was very young and he fears that this will happen to us. It is just a very sensitive issue for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:29 PM Flag
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I understand that, and i'm sorry you lost your mom. You need to reassure him that you're not going anywhere, and no matter what he will always have MANY people who love him. I almost lost my dad at age 8 (heart attack, he barely recovered after the paramedics took 2 hours to get to our house) so I understand where he is coming from, but you should take him to visit your neighbor and show him that he'll be ok [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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will do. thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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Good luck. Remind them that they were heroic. Another good option - something my parents did - is involve your kids in community service with the elderly. I visited nursing homes with my mom and bonded with some surrogate grandparents, which was great since I also didn't have grandparents growing up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:34 PM Flag
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your kid is anxious because you are. I mean to make an immediate appointment with a psychologist without first seeing how they do with this reveals your high level of anxiety about your kids. you need to relax, and they will start to be less anxious. even your description "lifeless body.." is over the top. I am a psychiatrist, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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as a therapist specializing in childhood trauma/bereavment, i'd say rushing them to the therapist sends a message that this is an overhwelming situation. i'd have advised you first to work with them yourself, see what symptoms if any they exhibit, then see therapist if needed. get some books to read with them about feelings, about death. dont overdo it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Any Loyola (grammar school) moms on? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 06.24.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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St. Ignatius Loyola? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Any 116 G&T parents on? Can anyone tell me what the K G&T teacher is like? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.24.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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She's wonderful, but she's probably not going to be the G&T teacher next year because she's 4 months pregnant. I doubt she'll begin the year, knowing she's going to leave before November. The school has many other wonderful K teachers, so I'm sure someone good will be assigned to the class. You shouldn't worry. My daughter is finishing up first grade G&T there. The school has a great sense of community. Get involved! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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NP: No guarantees that she will get an experienced K teacher there. FWIW, looking back over the past 6yrs there, there has been a lot of turnover of G&T teachers at PS116. They do not usually replace with gen ed teachers, some of whom prefer to teach gen ed and not G&T at the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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thanks for the info. Why is there so much turnover in G&T there? I heard it was a good program [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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Don't really know. I think some of it was just young teachers leaving because they had kids or moved. However, I think the gen ed teachers have a better core group who are dedicated to teaching at the school, and have been there for years (not to say that they have not had some turnover as well). Last year, both of the 3rd grade teachers and both fifth grade G&T teachers left. The year before, a 4th grade G&T teacher left over the summer, and they had to scramble for a last minute replacement. Some of the replacements are really good, some are really not, but good or bad, there is a learning curve. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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