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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] My OB told me today that a woman planning a homebirth stalled for 10 hours at 8cm dilated. I cannot imagine going through transition for 10 hours. She ended up having a c/s. I felt so bad for her! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.24.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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You shouldn't assume it was really transition - I got to 8cm without the baby getting below a -2 station (he was caught up in his cord, couldn't drop). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:51 PM Flag
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but still sad for the mother to plan a natural homebirth and come so close only to end up with a c/s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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There is only so much you can "plan" about childbirth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:54 PM Flag
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Yes, but just like with any mom, it is what it is - I think a lot of pregnancies and deliveries don't go as planned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:54 PM Flag
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Do you know how it was for her getting to the hospital? Curious b/c I'm thinking of doing homebirth next time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:05 PM Flag
[ - ] probably hopless but any advice on how to get this labor going?? 40.5 weeks and will probably have to be induced by Friday if nothing happens. Tried lots of sex, walking...I'm getting worried! 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.24.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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don't worry, if you have to be induced it's no big deal. good luck though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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plan a dinner party and buy all the food [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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LOL! Signed someone who delivered at 41 weeks! I scheduled a "day of beauty" and went into labor that day -- and was sort of annoyed! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:47 PM Flag
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op -- can you tell me any of the signs of labor that you had even a few days before? I am having these flashes of pain that make me catch my breath...but nothing steady. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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Honestly, nothing noteworthy! I was big and uncomfortable, but barely dialated and carried high (never dropped). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:50 PM Flag
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op - I am 4cm dilated too -- I don't understand what the problem is and all the OBs in the practice were "sure" she would be here by 6/15!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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I walked around 4 cm dilated for more than 2 weeks... such misery! I hope you go soon. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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THanks. I am not physically miserable just worried that the induction will be painful and result in a spiral of interventions and c/s!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:57 PM Flag
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I was induced for my first and honestly it wasn't any worse than going into labor on my own. Plus if you are already 4 cm your body should just need a little nudge. My cervix was closed when I had my induction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:59 PM Flag
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ok - thank you. I'm trying to decide how long I should hold out for. I'm 2 days over now - maybe until Friday? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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I would go as long as your OB will let you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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I had terrible heartburn for a few hours before labor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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lol! that would be the sure fire way. I had a huge 'date' planned with my husband 3 weeks before my due date. We had booked a room at a really swanky hotel, dinner reservations and tickets to a broadway play...sure enough, my dd came the night before we were due to leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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acupuncture [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Any Weekday School parents on? Can you shed some light on the email we received yesterday? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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Not a Weekday parent (and not trying to be a trouble-maker), but what did the email say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:46 PM Flag
[ - ] just hired live in nanny for the first time. For the past two weeks my 20 month old has adored her. Now, whenever I'm home he pushes her away and doesn't want to go to her. Is this normal or should I be concerned? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:39 PM Flag
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It's normal for my toddler. If I'm around, it's all mommy, all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:41 PM Flag
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very normal - He knows it's Mum time with him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:55 PM Flag
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is it because he wants to go directly to you instead? he may just want to be with you instead of her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:41 PM Flag
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totally normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:18 PM Flag
[ - ] POLL: What's the most "exotic" food your child will eat? How old? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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probably shumai and rice. He's not very adventurous when it comes to food. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:41 PM Flag
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The sweet and sour sauce on McNuggets. I'm kind of joking - DS will eat pad thai, gyoza, chana masala, etc.. And won't eat hamburgers cooked at home, chicken unless breaded, and only broccoli and carrots and bananas (no other fruit or vegetables). Been like this since 2yo, is now 6. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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mine likes brie which is kind of weird because he won't eat any other cheese unless it's mac and cheese - 15 mos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:45 PM Flag
[ - ] OMG, just went outside to get car. Car is gone. Someone stole it! I am in shock. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:32 PM Flag
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could it have been towed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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Dude, where's my car? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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Dude! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:35 PM Flag
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Sweet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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seriously? that sucks. get off ub and call the police to file a report. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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I thought this once too but I'd been towed. Where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I love Cheez-Its. 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:32 PM Flag
[ - ] DH just a new job in Newport Beach, CA. Does anybody know anything about the area? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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i lived there for three years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] It's beginning. We are a middle class private school family struggling to make ends meet. DD is being invited on crazy weekends-- private jets, mansions in the hamptons, Europe.... 115 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.24.08, 04:28 PM Flag
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this makes me feel better about dropping our private spot for G&T. I know the class issues would get to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:31 PM Flag
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we're at Trinity and this has started happening in Grade 4 for us. awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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good school. do you know what is the 2nd entry point for Trinity? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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Not the poster above but I know kids who transferred to Trinity in the 4th grade and in the 9th grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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transfer from other TT? do they still need test, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:11 PM Flag
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From public school and from K-8 private school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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WOW. THANKS . that's encouraging. they still need test, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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I assume so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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biggest entry point is 9th (after K) , btu they do take a few kids through the years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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and your daughter will be enriched for it.....my expereince comng form a working class family at a private high school made me ambitious and expoesed me to different possibilities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:36 PM Flag
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how did your family feel about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:38 PM Flag
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My parents think that funding the differential in my scholarship was one of the best things they ever did. They still give money to my prep school (and I'm in my forties) and later sent my little sister who was not on scholarship (no need based FA)...I helped pay alittle bit of her tuitioon when I was out of college, as well. Highly value for education. Howeve, I will admit, private jets were not part of the program. This was in Philadelphia and in a time when people were not so ostentationious about wealth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:41 PM Flag
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np: I agree it really depends on the child how they react to it. My niece completely self-destructed - the combo of the pressure of schoolwork and such different lifestyles really was too much (though she was at boarding school). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:40 PM Flag
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good for your child to have a variety of experiences. Don't let your child develope your financial insecurities. It's only money and it can be gone in a heart beat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:43 PM Flag
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ita... we remind our dcs that families are fortunate in different ways. we have each other, we have our health, we live in a great city... etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:45 PM Flag
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that was true for us at St Ann's-- my dh took a teaching job there so ds could go for cheap. 13 year old ds was getting picked up in limos. was NOT good for him! we moved to portland to get some perspective [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:44 PM Flag
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You know that you could "get some perspective" without moving away, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:11 PM Flag
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yep-- but we are loving portland! diverse, urban, cultural-- without all the nyc crap. And ds went to a public HS here and is heading to Yale in the fall... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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Um... I do not mean this to be snarky, but I'm curious... if you live in Portland w/ a son going to Yale, why are you on the NY school board?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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lived in nyc til 2 years ago, still like to visit. Have LOTS of NYC school dirt to share, DH taught at St Ann's, Friends, Stuy-- but hey, if you all want me to leave I'm outta here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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No one said they wanted you to leave and previous poster said she didn't mean to sound snarky... relax... remember you live in Portland now :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Hey, I want to hear the dirt! Will post an OP to ask you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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its way different now. I also got exposed to some great things as FA student in the 80's (Brearley) but I didn't have to deal with the insanity of wealth our kids are exposed to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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how is hanging out in someone's mcmansion for a weekend being "enriched"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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OR: when you live in a neighborhood with row houses and have one of the fe households with even one college educated parent and have little opportunity for visits to the beach or to hear about someon'e parent's expereinces at college or on an interantional business trip or to try a new food, you are being enriched. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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you're generalizing based on your own experience. i'm sure op is college-educated and cultured and actually eats (gasp!) a piece of uni every now and the same as many of us without money. to assume that hanging out without rich people is more enriching than hanging out with those without money is a little offensive, frankly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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You are generalizing as well and making assumptions that may or may not be true. And no one said that the experience was hanging out at a "mcmansion" New and different experiences are enriching. A smart child will make value judgements/comparisons/contrasts /observations. I never said ti was more enricheing to be with those with money.....just enriching...just as if a wealthy suburban hot house flower were to spend a week with an inner city family, riding the subway, eating at a hot dog vendor or at a corner sushi restaurant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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it's only enriching if the family has something to offer other than money. and op did not indicate that was the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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going to the Hamptons or Europe can certainly be enriching if you have never been. Heck, even the chance to ride a private jet can be pretty cool. Everything she mentioned could be enriching. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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I hope you're joking. NP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Ugh, I am dreading this. We are a middle class family joining private school in the fall. do you mind saying what school? we're starting at C&C and I'm hoping the parent body is a little more down to earth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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ha, ha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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every school has some down to earth families and some that are in another strasasphere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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We are at C&C and I think for the most part our school is more down to earth than other privates. Not to say these tings do not happen, they certainly do, but people are more low key about it. FWIW we are very middle of the road there and feel very comfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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We were at C + C--don't kid yourself sweetheart. And how about how AWFUL the kids are being to that very masculine girl???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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who? SJP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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I have 2 dc there and have been a part of that school for 8 years. I am not kidding myself about anything. Maybe you are not aware of what goes on elsewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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no, but I'm very aware of what goes on there. and the bullying is not so cool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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We are not talking about bulling in this post. But if you are so aware then you should know that a lot of steps have been taken to handle bullying, including speakers. True not every teacher handles this the way they should, but for the most part I feel it is handled and talked about. At many schools it goes unnoticed and the adminstration could not care less [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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also a C+ C parent-- steps ARE being taken but it is a real problem and some of those kids are just entitled awful people. We are thinking of leaving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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We have not had that experience, but you will be hard pressed not to find entitled people anywhere inn nyc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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please elaborate on this? What grade are we talking about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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NP - Not at C&C so I don't know this specific situation (apparently everyone there does though). But I have older dcs and I have to laugh at the statement that "steps have been taken to handle bullying, INCLUDING SPEAKERS" (emphasis mine). Speakers? Totally worthless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I have older dc as well and I can tell you that bulling happens everywhere. It is a matter of how a school handles it that counts. C&C is very community focused and from what I have seen does not push this under the table or ignore it. There are group discussions when incidents happen or discussions with the teachers and the dc involved. As far as speakers comming to address this issue, it is important as it educates the entire community on better ways to handle bullying, parents and staff. Many schools would just ignore the issue or handle it on an individual basis. BTW I did not address the situation another poster brought up, because I find it highly inappropiate to discuss on a public board and I know the dc . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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know the DC too-- and you C + C boosters have got to admit it is NOT the school's finest hour, by any means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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do you think they've learned from it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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OR here: this section of this thread is totally terrifying me. There is a lot of bullying at C&C? Rich entitled asshole kids? Fuck, fuck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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But, and this is true at any school, your dc's class may be made up of great kids. It's really a luck of the draw as to what kind of kids are in your dc's grade no matter what school or where. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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thank you. YOu're right, of course, and that makes me feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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Yea . . .. but I'm not paying to go to a place and hope for the" luck of the draw". Paying to go to a place that has their values together and has a handle on the families that are part of their community. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Then I would homeschool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Or go public G&T, which is what we're doing. I know we cant control the families/values anywhere, and not willing to pay for the pretenses of that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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Completely agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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How old is your child? My child started getting weekend-in-the-country invitations from classmates around 4th grade or so. I won't let my child go out of town with a family with whom I am not comfortable, but she's had wonder trips with friends. We're not in a position to reciprocate money-wise, but I try to return hospitality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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Well, wouldn't it be more fun to invite your whole family? Not just the child? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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Not really. Inviting another dc is great for your dc who is at an age where they do want to only be around their family all the time. Inviting an entire family is hard work. My dc have tons of friends who I would have at our house for a weekend, but would hate it if I had to entertain the parents all weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Hey - at least your dd is one of the ones being invited to these fabulous trips. Can you imagine being the poor kid who is also on the outside socially? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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that happened in a big way at our downtown progressive -- one kid totally left out (boy). Really disgusting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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that's heartbreaking. Any particular reason? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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I do not think it is a bad thing to have friends with money. To me it is more a matter of values. I know plenty of people with not so much money who lavish their dc with material things and I know many people who have all of what op has mentioned and they are very humble. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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DD was 12 when she went on vacation with a classmate. She returned home and DEMANDED to know why "Julie's" family has a private jet and we have to fly on a plane with other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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The important part would be - what did you say to dd? How old is she now and did she change her attitude? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Has anybody had the experience of having DC teased about money? DC teased in front of classmates by rich child. What would you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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Is the rich child making comments about your dc's relative wealth (or lack of it)? Or is it regular kid teasing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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comments about lack of wealth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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And what did the school do about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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didn't and will not tell the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Why not? It seems to me that you should let them know that this dc is saying things like this and that the school should step in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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OMG this is such crap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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None of these schools would tolerate it. They all have uniforms to keep fashion competition to a minimum, the schools are very very sensitive to this and this would never happen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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Dalton has uniforms? Really? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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And Trinity and HM and Riverdale and ECFS and St Ann's and Calhoun and....oh - and it could be public school too of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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Only in the lower grades. None of the upper schools have uniforms anymore, some have dress codes, but none have uniforms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Not Spence, NBS, CSH, Chapin? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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Calhoun does NOT have uniforms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 05:37 AM Flag
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what makes you think this has anything to do with clothes/uniforms? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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Uniforms do nothing to stop fashion competition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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Of course they do - they are all wearing the exact same thing, down to their socks! Its def one of the things I love about my downtown private - they also have strict rules about jewelry (no dangling earrings, jangling bracelets or large anything). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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I'm thinking girls in the 6th grade and up. Definitely not wearing the same shoes, bags, jewelry, coats, jackets, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Well, just think how much worse it would be if it were not confined to outerwear & accessories! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Actually, it's not so much IMO at schools like Dalton and Trinity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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^^^But girls at girls' schools seem to be more into fashion - maybe because they have had to wear a uniform to school every day of their lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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i had a similar experience growing up. in most cases this is not a healthy situation. by the time i started high school, i came to the point where i'd lie to my friends about which broadway shows i saw that weekend, which vacations we took over spring break, etc. i fought my mother to dress me in designer clothing to the point where she was buying me things she clearly couldnt afford just so i could fit in. i seriously think it's not a healthy thing to grow up surrounded exclusively, or almost exclusively, by rich people. it gives a screwed up perspective and lousy values. and dont try to tell me the parents can teach good values at home, and the school encourages good values and all that. i've btdt, and trust me, you learn from your peers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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I agree that a lot of issues surface as a result of being surrounded by rich kids when you are growing up - but is the answer to only associate with people in the same income bracket as your family? if so, growing up in NYC will be very difficult if you choose to go to a private school. also, it seems people on this board really demonize and judge people with a lot of money - being rich and spending your money does not mean you don't have values. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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no, the answer is to be in a school where there will be a nice number of kids from backgrounds similar to your child's baackground. i have nothing against rich people, but a place where 90% or more of the kids are rich isnt a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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not just private. i went to an affluent suburban school, designer clothes and shoes were all the rage. best friend's dad was a multimillionaire. fortunately he was also an intellectual. there were always interesting people around and the emphasis was on intellectual development not materialism. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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you sound so sancti [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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whatever. my dad was a janitor. i was thankful to be exposed to beautiful art, literature and music in my friend's house and she didn't judge my blue collar parents like most of the other snobs at my school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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so being raised working class means you can be sancti about rich people? is that how it works? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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That was your experience, little Jenny. You lied in the first place because you did not have a strong sense of who you were. Your mom should have been teaching you to live within your means and being proud of who you are instead of trying to play catch up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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I actually agree with the above poster. I wouldn't say it quite so harshly, but I do think it's all in the way you in the parent handle the disparities in $. I mean, if you live in NYC, there are tons of people with $ even if they are not in school with your dc's, and I agree that the emphasis should be on intellect and talent and not on $. I can say this as a middle class black kid who went to wealthy predominantly white private schools. Call me sancti if you like, but [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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^^^even the negative experiences made me stronger. But, if you are uncomfortable, and your child is uncomfortable, then the best thing to do is take your child out of the school, because it can only get worse. (It's okay if this is not the sort of thing you want your kid to deal with, that's your prerogative. You just have to decide if the education is worth it and if you want it enough to get past the wealth issue.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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this thread makes me feel so justified in deciding to stick with public, and so gratified - it's all the stuff we imagined would happen if we were to go private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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Lots of uber wealthy at public to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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^^^o [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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yes but it's not the prevailing culture and there is a wider range of socioeconomic class. my dd has a more realistic sense of where she fits in - i.e., that she has many friends whose families have less than we do, and some who have more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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Bullshit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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Read all the posts on this thread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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By all the pretend pretends hyper sensitive about private or rejection who want to start more stress? No thaks, I have three dcs in the TT I went to and one in the TT Dh went to and this simply does. not. happen regularly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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'pretend parents' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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You have 4 kids in TT schools and both you and dh are products of these schools. You don't think that you might be a little blind to the excesses? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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No, solid middle class growing up and both sets of parents were very conservative about spending, as are we. If this is any school I would say maybe Dalton, but none of the other TT. Really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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brearly too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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np, LOL! you think everyone who claims to be down to earth is at Brearley? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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nnp - I think they are saying that the OP's school might be Brearley (or Dalton for the other poster) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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let me guess - you are so surprised! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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to OP: important thing is that your kid is getting a good education. the rest really doesn't matter. we were in public and switched to private (fa) for hs -- i regret not doing it sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 04:17 AM Flag
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I disagree. Education is not the only thing that matters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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ITTTA. Raising a confident, happy, and intellectually curious dc is much more important in my book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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I grew up in that situation and felt like I had to fake it through hs and was not comfortable with myself. I went to what was considered a great school and got into a good college, law school, but still have that feeling like I can't be myself and have to keep up appearances. Hard to say if it came from that situation and who knows if I would have done well at public too or not done well due to other issues present there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.25.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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DD is obviously popular and that is good. If she is enjoying herself and people are generous to her, then where's the harm? If she feels uncomfortable, ashamed, angry, then you need to deal with those negative feelings as they come, and possibly even change schools if the situation becomes dire. These posts show that it's not fair to generalize about the impact of going to school with the children of the uber-rich. I think this situation reflects more on your own conflicts about wealth vs. culture and education. It sounds like not only are you middle class but you're turned off by people with money -- which is completely your prerogative. Maybe DD is different from you. Maybe she doesn't care. In any event, I think you would agree that people should not judge each other based on money. So it's important that you don't telegraph your discomfort with this situation to DD or else it will make her feel uncomfortable and guilty doing things that she should enjoy. Whether it's the mailman's daughter taking DD to Friendly's or a hedge fund manager's daughter taking her to Europe, she should feel free to enjoy herself and appreciate the hospitality that is offered to her. All that said, I totally sympathize with your predicament. I would feel the same way. I also grew up in a very affluent community and remember that the kids without money whose parents were preoccupied with having less became very bitter about the disparities in wealth. The kids without money whose parents accepted the difference in circumstances had better adjusted kids. FFT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 09:07 PM Flag
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Oh god you again? YOU POST THIS EVERY WEEK - just stop those of us who actually grew up here know this is BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:15 AM Flag
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OMG some of you darling mothers are such hilarious bitches [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.13.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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We are applying to Brearley and are decidedly middle class by NYC standards. Are there really class issues there? And what about Spence? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.14.08, 05:26 AM Flag
[ - ] DH just got a new job in Newport Beach, CA. Does anybody know anything about that area? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:25 PM Flag
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I know they have some overprivileged teenagers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of going to Bermuda for a quick 3 night getaway with my DH. Can anyone recommend a great place to stay? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:23 PM Flag
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I liked Elbow Beach very much. Very nice service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I am PMS-ing (and am stressed about work) and the amount of food that I've eaten today is staggering! Tomorrow is a new day (and at least I exercised today!). 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.24.08, 04:20 PM Flag
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I'm in the same boat. I've been eating really crappy and put on a couple of pounds and am so crabby right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:24 PM Flag
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I'm sure that I'm going to put on a few pounds from this week and it's unfortunate -- I have several events next week and would have preferred to look my best (I'm short and 5 pounds shows). Maybe I'll get control tomorrow -- right now, my Fresh Direct pizza is baking! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible to feel pg 2 weeks in (so 4 weeks pg)? Or am i just pms'ing? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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definitely--with my first pregnancy i knew something was up before my period was late. i woke up to use the toilet in the middle of the night, and had no taste for booze (which is odd for me!). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.24.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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