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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] anyone have a 20% off coupon code from GYmboree that they are not using? There was one in the June 08 parents magazine and American baby 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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No but I get a Bed, Bath & Beyond 20% coupon off weekly, your kids will have a blast in the bed department. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:45 PM Flag
[ - ] if your child whines or "cries" (not real tears), do you say, "stop crying" or "no crying"? we have been doing this sometimes, while simultaneously being loving and affectionate (in other words, it doesn't sound scolding). still, i'm not really comfortable with it. i try to teach ds that his feelings are valid; i just also don't want him to express those feelings (such as wanting a toy he can't have right now, or feeling frustrated) by whining. what do YOU do? ds just turned 3. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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When my DS whines, I tell him I can't understand him when he whines, which is basically true. I never say "no crying". Too general, and crying is really ok. He can't get the subtlety that fake crying isn't ok and real crying is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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I always call it like I see it. "your faking" why are you faking? what is the real problem? why are you upset? let's talk about it. Tell me what's going on? Are you sad? Are you mad? Why? and then just go from there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
[ - ] At the Anderson orientation yesterday there was a Q&A with Culot. Can I just say how mad it made me when a few parents asked questions that made it seem like they knew NOTHING AT ALL about the school. Someone asked if they offer a foreign language. someone else asked something else really uninformed too. Please, those were questions that should have been answered BEFORE you applied to the school, not AFTER you accepted. ughhh. I know so many people who would give their arm and leg for that spot. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.26.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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are you an anderson parent? I hope not. you sound like you are way too high strung. people have looked at many schools, and don't always remeber the exact details of the school where their dc has been assigned. frankly, I'll bet some asked a question just to make him feel like they appreciated him coming to answer questions. I know I thought about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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I actually asked a question that I knew the answer to because no one else was asking anything. wanted to show interest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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op: I am a current A parent and have been for a few years now. Say what you want about me, I could care less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Well, the fact that you have that attitude makes me happy we turned down A 4 years ago. With the new citywide app process, there are people whose kids were tested their kids tested and ended up with a citywide choice based on score, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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^^ sorry, computer glitch... there are parents whose kids ended up at A by virtue of high test scores who did not obsessively investigate every possible school beforehand. In this year's process, we didn't apply to individual schools; we had our kids tested and were told which schools we qualified for. There are probably quite a few parents whose DC were accepted who know nothing about A. You should welcome them, not be mad at them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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Agree. welcoming the new families is key to anderson's continued success. they really need to get that loud and clear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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lol - i totally get where they are coming from - it is an excellent program that goes through 8th grade - how much research do you need to do? how invested do you need to be before an acceptance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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ITA...just because someone obsesses and asks 100 questions before their dc is accepted doesn't make their child more deserving of the spot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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ditto - many people have a "give it a shot" attitude - not everyone thinks their genius is definately getting in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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people I toured 14, yes 14, schools for my dd in the last two years and I have to say this is par for the course. You always get parents who ask stupid questions just so that they can feel included in the process. If you live in NYC that is what you get. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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would love to know what you learned and what you decided. Public and private? or just private? i think if you limit your search to public it is different [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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dd got into Nest+m. eight blocks from our home and we are very happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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np: Congrats. I'm another nut who toured 14 schools. My ds is also ending up at Nest-I just wish we had your 8 block commute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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have to say I did look at the website once accepted. didn't want to get too invested until it became a reality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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this made you "mad?" LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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I bet i know who you are. You seemed to be on speed or something. Relax. We will be worthy, i assure you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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lolol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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triple lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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op: Who do you think I am? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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I hope you don't think it's me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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ROTFLMAO!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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Geez. UNCLENCH Beeyotch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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not everyone has the time or neuroses to delve into the school search as much as most of us have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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incredible that people would be so stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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OR - They have a f*cking life beyond this PreK BS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Exactly. Some people have a life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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call me crazy, but i actually think doing the bare minimum of research on your child's education is maybe a little more important than watching re-runs of sex and the city on tbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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omg! would love to get a spot there for dc, just for the opportunity to change the attitude over there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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You might want to get that potato removed from your butt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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It's an outrage! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I've got one dc in public, one in private...several of public dc's classmates wont be coming back next year, mostly for financial reasons...(giving up and moving to the burbs) I don't know of anyone leaving private. The tough economy doesnt seem to be affecting the private school population as far as I can tell... 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.26.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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how did one end up in public vs private? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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she is only partly affected by the economy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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very sad - the middle class are stuggling and the wealthy have enough coushin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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no comment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] need opinions on boy names: the choices are levi, benjamin, isaac, and gabriel and any combo of these - thoughts 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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I like Gabriel best out of all those. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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i agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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oh my god, no one ever agrees with me on name polls! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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just that Gabriel is the best of all of them, but every Gabriel I know is either gay or an angel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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me three [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Levi Benjamin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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love Gabriel, also like Benjamin. not wild about the others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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I think Gabriel is kind of a girly name [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Got a smiley opk this morning. I am doing Shettles for a ds. Should I wait until tomorrow morning before having sex so, that I get as close to ovulation as possible or have sex tonight and tomorrow morning? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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not ttc here but i do love coupling with dh. i would just let it flow and do it as much as you both want to with no pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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We did that! Twice! 2 dds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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did you really say coupling??? jeez, what a loser!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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Bitter much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 12:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Is tanning dangerous or only if you burn? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Regularly tanning is bad for your skin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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Tanning is dangerous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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I think it's the repeated exposure that is bad for you with or without the burning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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why would you want to tan???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Any realty savvy moms out there? Are you familiar with FHA mortgage loans? Are these not as good as "normal" mortgage loans? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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FHA is simply a government guaranteed loan. Great for first time borrowers with limited incomes. They are only qualified up to 360K in high-priced areas. No one has to know you have an FHA loan. It doesn't make you a bad person [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Our dd's dentist said we must give up the pacifier by 4yr old. My dd is 3 right now. And she really, really seems to need it to fall asleep/give her comfort. We only give it at night/nap time. How do we deal with taking it away? We've talked about the "binky fairy" bringing her a present, but I don't think she's convinced. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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she's too young for that and too old for the binky habit. Cut off the tops of all of them and make then smaller and smaller. Or "forget" to bring them the next time you go on vacation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Um won't that make my vacation hell? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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that kind of thinking is why she still has the binky at this age. You can keep one hidden, but I wouldn't give in...it will work....much better than the binky fairy idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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if you "forget" to bring them on vacation, you will have a miserable time! Do NOT do that... I would do it when the routine is normal and try to get her focused on something else, maybe a favorite doll that she can sleep with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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OR: we did it with night time bottles at 3.5 and everything was fine. Just explain, "sorry we forgot them, you are such a big girl, you will be fine." Wehn you get home, oh they must have gotten lost whiel we are away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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it is easier to break a normal habit when you are not in a normal setting sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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At her next dental check up, tell her the Dentist who is responsible for helping make sure her teeth stay healthy collects binkies for recycling and that at age 4 since she can no longer have them, suggest they take them in to the dentist. Tell her you know it'll be hard but she has to do it. Cold turkey is the best, BTDT two times. Wish my #3 would have taken the bink, but she is a thumb sucker so I'm in big trouble [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Our dd's dentist said we must give up the pacifier by 4yr old. My dd is 3 right now. And she really, really seems to need it to fall asleep/give her comfort. We only give it at night/nap time. How do we deal with taking it away? We've talked about the "binky fairy" bringing her a present, but I don't think she's convinced. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Just toss them and deal with the crying for a few days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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binky fairy worked for our paci-addicted dd (at 2.8yo) -- two tough nights, then she never looked back. should have done it sooner (and did, with dd#2 -- we took hers away at 12mos, no regrets) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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have you shown her the present the binky fairy is going to leave? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Did this work for you? She's been begging for a "Sleeping Beauty" dressup dress, and I bought one with hopes. Do you think if I show it to her the night before it will help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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my 3 yo doesn't really get the abstract of things; it's only showing her the present or a picture of it that makes it real, and might motivate her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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good point. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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find someone who has a little baby and then explain to dd that she is a big girl now and should give her paci to the baby. gather all her paci's and make a special date with baby and let her give them to the baby. it totally works did the same thing with bottles and diapers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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my ds just tunred 4 and he isn't ready to give it up. we aren't forcing it. he will do it when he's ready...just like he's done everything else. people wouldn't dream of taking away their kids' blankies...this is the same thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Serious question: Is the main purpose for pacifiers to help babies get to sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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to soothe...it doesn help them sleep often though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Movers coming tomorrow and I'm told they'll pack everything. Now the apt is an unpacked mess and I'm scared they'll be pissed. They'll just pack it all up right? No need to fret? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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Don't worry they will do everything, especially when you pay by the hour! They have seen it all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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if you have anything that is extremely sentimental and breakable pack it yourself otherwise your good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I need help getting through extreme sleep problem with 2.5 yr old son. He'll go to sleep like an angel for anyone but me. He starts protesting after the bath, any will not stay in bed, cries or amuses himself for 1.5-2 hrs. Falls asleep on the floor at 10, 10:30. Zombie the next day. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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Have someone else put him to sleep for the next few months, until this phase passes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Ok. Feels like outsourcing, but I am desperate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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Get yourself the Weissbluth book. It worked like magic for my 5 mo. old (now almost 6 mos & sleeping like an angel). The book has sections for each couple of months all the way through toddlerhood. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4 yo dd is sort of anto social. She prefers being with the teachers at school to playing with kids. When I want to set up a play date she often says no...that there is nobody she wants to play with. She prefers bing with adults and her brother. She seriously is perfectly happy sitting on teacher's laps...they have to tell her to go play otherwise she would be there all day. Anyone btdt? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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my dd was like that at 3 -- she'd talk to the preschool teachers all day but wasn't so interested in the kids. now at 4, she's still happy to talk to adults, but definitely is happy hanging out and playing with kids her age, so I guess I'd give it time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
[ - ] My 3.5 yr old is having horrid tantrums. We're talking up to 4 a day lasting for 1/2 an hour sometimes. And it's frightening her 15m old brother. I don't know how to help/control her anymore. Any suggestions? The tantrums are about the littlest things--not finding a toy, getting her dress wet, etc. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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she needs alone time with you. make it happen. make a regular weekly date with her sans the little brother. you will see a change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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ITTTTTTA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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I'm a SAHM and am with her 24/7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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^^^and we have 2 mornings a week just us. She won't let anyone else (ie: dad) help her to the potty, get her dressed, or do anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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my sisterinlaw buys in to that crap with her 2.5 yr old. if she wont let dad help her go potty or get dressed, she should remain undressed. my new tagline is " i wont negotiate with terrorists." :) either daddy helps you get dressed or you dont wear clothes.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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you can't help/control her. leave the room area while she screams. itr feels good to get it out sometimes. when mine starts schrieking i tell her to go to her room and let it all out, and she can rejoin us when shes feeling better.. have you tried that? or is the problem that its in puclic..only in NYC are people intolerant of a public meltdown [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I have been trying to get her in her room, with her loveys and calm down. But she just doesn't. She keeps going and going. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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it sounds like, im no shrink, you are trying to calm her down by the "get her loveys" comment. Tell her to go to her room until she's calm or drag her there screaming. she will get more upset, but im telling you, this totally works with mine. she cries for 3 minnutes tops and then comes out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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yeah, my 4.5yo is like this too -- gets hysterical over the littlest things, v annoying. luckily for me, 18mo couldn't care less, so it's not quite as tough (I think it bothers me more than anyone) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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sounds like you really need to make an effort to make the time you have alone count. take her to alice's teacup do "special" things with her while you have her alone. I know it's hard but don't take calls. devote that time to her. you will see a shift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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I try to make it count (not in NYC BTW) -- but our alone time, for the most part, consists of the time when the baby is sleeping (about 2 hours a day). So we don't get a lot of time alone together out of the house, but we certainly do have time together (and believe me, I'm not spending a lot of time on the phone!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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I disagree withthe poster. You are spending plenty of time with her. It's a stage. Dont beat yourself up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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my 3.5 yr old is just outgrowing these tantrums; they were scary! She could go on for 40 minutes, and it would be similar- something minor like not being able to find a shirt to match her skirt. I talked to my own therapist about it, and she told me just to talk to her about emotions- is she sad, mad, glad, etc. and get her to talk about it as much as possible. And we just were patient and waited for her to outgrow it. If you makes you feel better, I convinced myself that she was an especially sensitive and intelligent child to have such hellish tantrums. So yours must be too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I know 3 Mnhattan families who send their DCs to privates in NJ!! Desperate times - not enough ISAAGNY spots I guess 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.26.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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curious which schools in NJ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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np; my guess is the gifted school. I checked it out just in case but really pales compared to NYC privates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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No - No Gifted School. Don't want to name schools though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Who gives a shit. Get over yourselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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It's MUCH, MUCH cheaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Any Pittsburgh moms on? Tell me about your city. I visited years ago and got a good impression. I was in the Carnegie Mellon area ... but I'd be interested in other areas too. We're looking for somewhere walkable with excellent public schools. TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.26.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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I don't live in Pittsburgh, but I go there once a month for work and it is a very nice city. The area you mention is a nice one and so is the area called Oakland. The price for homes there is great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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My sister lives there, in Squirrel Hill and there are very good public schools there, it's walkable, and amazingly reasonable house prices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Is she Jewish by chance? We are, and had heard that's where the bulk of the Jewish community is located. We're pretty reform, but I am curious about the options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] How much would you pay a dog-sitter for staying a week at your house while you were on vacation? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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How much are they asking? Would you think about Boarding the dog? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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nice apartment? $25/day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] PS199 has enough students already. If your DC got into ANY G&T, please go there 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.26.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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I know 2 kids who withdrew from 199. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP: In K?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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np: one posted here that she decided to take a spot at ps9 G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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or: Yes, for K. I also know of 1 family who is registered and went to orienttion but is going private instead adn she KNOWS this. No clue as to why she went thru this whole thing and put her dd thru it too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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what whole thing? ps199 is a zoned school. hardly necessary to put dc through anything. this must be fake. at any rate it will be good for ps199 to lose a couple [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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or: she tool her kid to orientation and let her act like she was going there. How confusing must that be for the kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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child will recover from this trauma. I wouldn't worry about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Sorry but anyone who would choose 191 G&T over 199 is a crazy fool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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NOBODY does htat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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there was poster wondering this here on UB a few days ago. I thought she was nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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she said PS 9 G&T, not 191 G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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OP said any G&T [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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I know a few 199 families that have switched to private in 1st, 2nd or 3rd grade because of problems at 199. That should help the overcrowding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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I know at least 10 families leaving 199. Yeah!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Same with PS87. Please, go gifted, let our kids have the space! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:26 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone with wealthy parents on? what do they give your dc (and how old is your dc)? for ex, do they help pay for education, give dc an annual gift, etc. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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my parents aren't wealthy but they do have more than we do for sure - they set up an education fund for ds at birth and will do the same for the next one - they each give the max gift allowed to the fund every year; and they pay for our trips to visit them; gifts are probably the normal stuff, toys, books - are you looking for what your parents should do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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op here. my father is very wealthy but has a nightmare wife who seems to greatly resent my beautiful 8mo. they have not gotten her ONE trinket gift yet (i'm talking not even a toy or piece of clothing). my dad seems to adore my baby, but he's out of it and lets his wife control everything, including finances. they recenly told me, with great fanfare, that they're going to give my dd $10,000/yr until she's 18--to be used for her college education. it's in a special account which she can only access when 18. you mention a "max gift allowed"--what is this? is it $10,000? i know that they can give a tax-free gift of $12,000/yr as well, and my dad had hinted that they would do this, but turns out they're not doing it. we could really use this extra money. i am not ungrateful--i really appreciate the college fund. but still, i am curious what other rich grandparents do. i fear my stepmother and her greed. they live like royalty while me & my sibs struggle... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I think 12 is the current number they can give you without you having to pay taxes on it - but they can each give you 12K, and your dh 12K, and you dd 12K - so if you need $$, there's ways to get it to you - there's no reason for it to be in a special account; we use some of ours now for preschool while earning interest on the rest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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Wrong. Giftees never have to pay gift tax on gifts. Giftors pay all gift tax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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they helped me & dh buy a house last year by "lending" me money. so now i owe my dad interest every year. the interest is about $22,000/yr, so he no longer gives me a gift, since they equal each other out. and he doesn't give my dh a gift either, though i know he can. this upsets me. but i don't know if i can bring any of this up with him because it's so hard to talk to him about money. he gets very defensive and emotional. he married this awful woman with no pre-nup to, so there's a good chance my sibs & i can't count on getting anything in the future. she is that conniving. and she has a son who i know she supports fully, and he's 37. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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They gave you money for a house, you aren't paying back so it is a gift. And they give dd $10K a year. That's quite generous in my book. What more do you want? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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np: it upsets you that your father doesn't give your dh money? WTF? You sound grossly entitled. And why do you care if your father and his wife have a pre-nup? How will it impact you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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She is worried that her inheritance will be less if her father's wife gets a lot of his money, obviously. She would not think about actually supporting her family for a second. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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A pre-nup won't determine how her father's assets are distributed upon his death. That's what an estate plan is for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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no gifts to a grandchild? that's just strange - but then dads aren't always as into the gift thing - why don'tyou try asking him for something? say, hey Dad, little Zoe would just love a something something - maybe that will trigger action [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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$10K is the maximum contribution they can take as a state-income tax deduction for 529 plans. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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My mother is my nanny. She doesn't give many tangible gifts or give us cash, but she covers almost all of our childcare. This saves us a fortune and will enable us to pay for dc's education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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not wealthy but MIL did set up 529s for each grandchild and put max in (I think $60K, which means she can't add any more for a total of 5 years, and if she dies before 5 years, then a portion of the money gets pulled back into her estate for tax purposes) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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my inlaws give each dc 22k per year as a tax free gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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they can give 24k now, fyi [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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that sounds might generous. do they do other things too, likehelp pay for education? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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np: Man aren't you greedy. How about supporting your own kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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More than $22k per year, per dc? Heaven forbid the parents open their wallet or the dc take on any responsibility for their own educational expenses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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we are very lucky. they also give regular presents, but don't pay for education or camp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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Mine pay for education (just for us - my siblings have more money), my gym and give good christmas gifts. They also gift about 10K to each grandchild per year. They're really rich but they also want to spend it themselves. I don't blame them! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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