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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] wow. i guess i've been gone longer than i thought. when did this new format start? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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join us on the other site [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Why am I having such a paranoia day? Afraid I made a client mad by saying the wrong thing. Feel like my boyfriend is pulling back. I feel all out of sorts and anxious. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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are you the chef lady with the weird jaw on that desperate housewives show? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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I have these days...tehn the next day things turn around. Just go to bed and get a good sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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hormones, tomorrow is a new day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:42 PM Flag
[ - ] what is lansky's at 70th + columbus on UWS? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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A Lounge? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] what is lansky's on UWS at 70th + columbus? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Los Angeles 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] lawyers: SLAPP lawsuit requesting my medical records - can they do that? can I cite anything to refuse to provide the info? tia. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Are you a defendant in a Criminal Matter? Or do you work for the Gov? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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civil. do not work for gov. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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what does SLAPP stand for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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strategic lawsuit against public participation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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If they get a subpoena they can get them, I don't know if they will be admissable in a trial though. Is your state of health a matter in the case? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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I never understand what people are afraid of if their medical records are exposed. Besides the fact of having your privacy invaded. I look through my records when the nurse leaves the room and I can't make out a damn thing. I can't think of anything I would be embarassed about if anyone looked.Are poeple afraid of mental health issues being revealed or sexually transmitted diseases, what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Interpret my dream please: I dreamed that I had a newborn baby (in real life my kids are 9 and 11). I decided to leave the newborn with my parents for the weekend, and over the weekend my milk dried up and I realized I wouldn't be able to nurse my baby any more and felt consumed with guilt that I was a bad mother. In real life, my older ds is leaving for sleepaway camp on Saturday (for 4 weeks). Think there's any correlation? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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gee, i dunno. ya think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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are you still breastfeeding the 11 yo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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^if so the dream is telling you it's time to stop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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No, I weaned him a year ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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kudos to you for keeping up with that so long- you must have nips of steel and your dc a genius level IQ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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and a great immune system [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:13 PM Flag
[ - ] where is everybody? I used to not be able to keep up with this site and now it's so quiet. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I'm afraid that UB really blew it with the sight change. That and the creation of youbemom.com is slowly killing it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone go to the ps87 picnic tonight? i missed it....how was it? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.26.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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what picnic? I have 2 kids there and didn't know about any picnic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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new kindergarten picnic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Ahh, welcome to the school. We love it. Great community, great teachers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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really? so good to hear...what grades are your dcs? please tell me more about it!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Older one just graduated and younger finished third. I just really like the community. The parents were down to earth, smart, engaged, and the kids similar. Many dedicated parents make the school work. We had great teachers. My kids are very happy there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Fun. Very casual. Everyone went to the cafeteria to eat, then to the kindergarten yard to play. Very nice people, very down to earth. Administration was very personable and interested. I was impressed with how nice, smart, and dedicated the staff and PA were. We're doubly excited now about the fall. They also gave out KinderCamp applications, if you didn't get one yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:23 AM Flag
[ - ] poll...age/bikini or one peice/weight 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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43 bikini.. yeah baby! (my son is embarrassed) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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32/one piece (preferably with feet and a hood)/115 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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36 /bikini / 126 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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39 bikini, 142 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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43, tankini or one piece, 157 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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48, tankini, 117. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] dd will probably be around 5 years old when we hae #2. anyone have kids w/ that age diff? thoughts? tia 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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I don't have kids with that age difference but I am 5.5 years older than my little brother...it was great when we were little, kind of hard when I was a teenager and he was a pesky kid, and then I was in college and he became a bratty teen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I have two brothers, one a year older than I and one 7 years younger than I. I am closer to the younger one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 PM Flag
[ - ] advice - my parents helped my brother start a business about 12 years ago - it has been a money sucker and continues to drain money - my parents who have two houses worth a couple of million each are now selling one of them to help this company - my brother is an emotional wreck they have nothing else for their retirement - my dad is a doctor (67) and claims he is happy to keep working until he can't - no one listens to me to just quit while there is still money left - 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Nothing else? How about a home worth a couple of million dollars? Does that count? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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they will end up having to sell that too given the pattern - do you see my frustration at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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It will be their choice as to when to draw the line in the sand. Maybe they sell this house, downsize to something more modest, live off the equity, and stop helping in X years. This has nothing to do with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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it's between your parents and your brother, it's not your problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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NP: she might be thinking of her inheritance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Which is not something anyone's entitled to; it's her parents' money to spend as they see fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Then she would do well to remind herself that she isn't entitled to an inheritance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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gmta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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this is all well and good and very mature but wouldn't you be a little pissed if you were the responsible one who has worked really hard, married had a child continues to work but can't afford a house - brother is profoundly immature and stressed, has no money at all no relationship let alone kids and has gotten millions from then and I haven't gotten anything nor will I because they are obsessed with him yet I am the one they depend on emotionally - I know it's there money but it's also money that my father inherited from his mother that was to go to the 'family' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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it's okay to be pissed, but unfortunately there is nothing you could do about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Well you have to let that part go. It's not under your control. You CAN call your brother and tell him to knock it off and get a real job and stop sucking your parents dry, but in the end, it's your parents' call. Sucks for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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somebody has to make a call, they probably feel uncomfortable to stop supporting him since they probably think he won't make it on his own, the truth is he won't make it until he feels responsible for his own actions. they have nice intentions but they are not helping him by constantly supporting him (at least for the last 12 years if I am reading it correctly) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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that's what I keep telling them - they claim to agree but can't actually do it - I'm trying to tell my mother it's like controlled crying for a baby since she was so into me doing that for my son [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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If your grandmother wanted the money to go to "the family", she would have structured the estate with trusts that achieved that goal. Clearly she didn't. It isn't your money. You aren't entitled to it. If they want to donate it all to homeless kittens, they can. You have to accept this and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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of course, they are HER parents too. they need to read wikipedia entry on sunk cost. it's time to quit if it did not work for all this time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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what kind of business? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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business has lost money for the past 12 years? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I would be pissed too. Your brother should be supporting his "business" by now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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op: at this point I would rather they had given the money to kittens - they are so panicked about what they have done and see no way out and feel like if it just had this one little extra boost it will make all the difference - I have seen my brother have multiple meltdowns over this company - I want the stress to go away more than anything else - it's a weird pride/ego thing on my father's behalf to not be able to walk away and that is why it is driving me crazy and it's really sad to see that standards of their lifestyle slipping and my brothers future as a responsible adult slip away. I'm a hard worker and will probably get to where I need to be financially on my own, yes the money would be nice but at this point I feel like I've lost my family [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 PM Flag
[ - ] I think my newborn ds looks exactly like my DH. DH doesn't see it. Am I imagining things or is he just dumb? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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you're imagining things. all newborns look like aliens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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lol...but he looks like my dh as an alien! i swear! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:09 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD: DH and I support his parents financially. We just learned that they have been contributing to savings and brokerage accounts for my neices and nephews. In other words, while we are making financial sacrifices for our immediate family, they are taking advantage of their subsidized lifestyle to help their other grandchildren financially. I am livid. 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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what does your DH think? they're his parents, so if you're going to confront them he needs to take the lead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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He is besides himself. We aren't doing camp for dc this summer, and will not be able to afford college, but his neices/nephews will have fat savings accounts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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how old are they? and why aren't his siblings helping out? I think you need to discuss the situation with your dh's siblings and let them know that things need to change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Age range from range from 7 to 11. My SILs/BILs can't afford to help. I don't actually mind being the only ones to help. What I mind is that my IL's are taking help that is clearly beyond what they need and using it to redistribute wealth through the family according to some odd notion of justice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I would suggest that you and your DH sit down with them and come up with a budget--leave a little discretionary money in there that they can spend on themselves or on their grandkids if they want, but set a monthly amount and stick to it. And make it something you're comfortable with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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How much money are you talking about? If the contributions are substantial, I would take it as a sign that your ILs are better off than you think and don't really need your help, and would stop contributing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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NP: or is it possible that they're doing without to make these contributions? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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OP: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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OP: If they are willing to "do without" to make contributions, they can start by "doing without" to avoid being supported by us. They know that the money to care for them comes from our savings and our disposable income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Could they possibly think that you are doing better than you are? Do they do how much of a strain on you it is to support them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Yes. They know that we pulled dc from private school to help them out and that we couldn't afford camp this year. And I have made some light commends about dc needing to do very well in the school band so that they can get trumpet scholarships to pay for college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I'd cut them off. Save for your kids education. I'd never sacrifice that. They can drain neices and nephews savings accounts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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oh, I agree, my point was just that I'd want to know if money that was supposed to be going to medicine was going to their grandkids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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they should do without OP's money, it's not like OP is wealthy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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I agree, but at the same time, you'd want to know if they were giving up necessities to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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A total of about $10K/year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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And how much do you give them? I think you definitely need to scale back if not stop entirely. You are being taken advantage of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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We pay 100% of their assisted living bill. About $60K per year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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wow, that is extremely generous of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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They are elderly, were broke, and being evicted from a filthy home that they couldn't maintain. We didn't have many options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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you are doing the right thing. Sounds like they raised a fine son. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Sounds like they don't give a shit about what they are doing to their son. They sound rather entitled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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Medicaid. Don't put yourself in this same situation. Don't sacrifice your savings or else your kids will be supporting you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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agree. Some assisted living places have medicaid/care? arrangements. I believe you have to show that your ILs have no money of their own. Most places have a waiting lists for the medicade beds... investigate that and get them on the list! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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10K a year is decent college savings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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do your kids get gifts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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time to stop the checks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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How did you find this out? How long has it been going on? How long have you been supporting them? Are you absolutely sure about this information? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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Has your DH mentioned this to his siblings? Or is this the big elephant in the room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Confront other family members. Say your are cutting off grandma and grandpa now to send your kids to camp, pay their tuition and have a nest egg of yourself so you don't have to be a burden to your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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she can't do that. she is paying for the assisted living... they are probably only getting SS if that... they will not be able to be on their own. Where will they go if she stops paying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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Medicaid home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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How broke are the other siblings? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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I know when my grandmother "graduated" from assisted living to a nursing home it cost 100K/yr. Most of the people their were not paying privately, but had either run through their resources & had no money or their families protected their estates ahead of time & declared them bankrupt thus having Medicaid & other gov't monies kick in. My GM & the others got great care; her upscale assisted living facility had a nursing home, but her kids (including doctors) preferred the care at this low-key Catholic facility. For ex., she was no longer drugged beyond recognition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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Any updates from OP? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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Doesn't seem like it. Feel awful for her. This kind of stuff always goes on. When my grandmother died, my uncle gave me & my brother $30k - my grandmother had hidden money for him while my parents paid for her house, then her nursing home. Luckily, my uncle isn't a loser, he was horrified to get word of the account. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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Yeah, I don't get the logic. My grandfather is broke and in need of a nursing home. My father is TEMPORARILY helping with the bill while we apply for a medicaid slot at the same home. No need to drain your savings when medicaid is available. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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