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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] do ppl put the buggy boards on snap and go strollers? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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don't think possible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:52 AM Flag
[ - ] PSA: made this the other night and it was a huge hit with dh and dd—http://tinyurl.com/3sdxmq 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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^^^AND it's an easy after-work dish [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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Monkfish for a 16mon dd nope, not going to happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:36 AM Flag
[ - ] #1 will be 3 yo when new db born. What will I need new for the new db? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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a pack-n-play *for the 3 yo* so the baby won't get into all 3 yo's stuff when baby starts to move and grab (ie: 3 yo can play in there w/o being bothered as much, if that becomes an issue) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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my 3 yo would have never played in a pack n play...EVER...i think that is a crazy idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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Genious! Would never have thought about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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new car seat. there are always changes and safety improvements [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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hadn't even thought about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Am pg - dd will be just over 3 yo when db arrives. Will I need a double stroller? In the burbs, not the city. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.27.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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we got one, same age diff but live in the city and walk everywhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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Yep, unfortunately we moved out of the city after #1 was born so we now must drive most places. Just thinking it will be a waste to buy - maybe I can borrow one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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how much is your older dc in a stroller now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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She actually hates the stroller now - she'll ask for it sometimes but usually only stays in it for a little while then asks to walk. So, that's why I'm thinking it's a waste to buy but can't hurt to see if I can borrow one just to have on hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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^^^ just wasn't sure if I was in a dream world thinking I don't need one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
[ - ] still breastfeeding. 8months pp. when will my period come back? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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where is magic 8 ball mom when you need her? everyone is different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
[ - ] For those aspiring to have DC at tt private: Be ready to enrich and tutor your DC to death. The tt DCs are great students before they have every day enrichment activities. Their parents are maniacs. Signed parent at tt school 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Huh? Your post doesn't make much sense. Are you saying that the students are better before their parents sign them up for enrichment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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No, I'm saying that everyone is so intense that they sign-up their DCs for tutoring and other enrichment whether they are the top or the bottom of the class [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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it is like this in many publics too. my dc is at a "tt" private-not every family does this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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np: exactly not every family does this. Just another rumor spread by bitter SOs on this board. The 'tt' schools weed out the dcs who cannot handle on their own, sounds like OPs dcs are not old enough to have had that happen in droves yet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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That is true at some schools TT, non-TT, public. It is not true of all of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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Not all "TT" are the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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^^^OP: sorry "because", not "before" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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Please, we are products of TT, that everyone is tutored is nonsense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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This is certainly true at Chapin. OP, can you tell us what school you are at? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:25 AM Flag
[ - ] CAn anyone recommend a book that discusses raises a gifted child. Ds is almost 5. thx 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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Hunter'w website has some links and suggestions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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If you go to nypl.org - and search by subject "gifted children" you find many helpful titles. I liked Guiding the gifted child, The gifted child in the classroom, genuis denied (more for infor and mom not child). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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Do most people know that "MENSA" means stupid (female) in Spanish? How does anyone keep a straight face talking about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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Maybe the people in mensa speak Latin rather than Spanish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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but Spanish is latin-based, it might be similar, enlighten me with your prowess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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NP: in Latin, it means table; go figure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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ah, in Spanish table is "mesa." Well, they are related, not the same, lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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everyone knows that true intellectuals are not joiners.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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You don't need a book. You raise "gifted" children the same way you raise any other children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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ITA don't make them feel like a freak [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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If your dc is EG, "Exceptionally Gifted Children" If not, "Raising Gifted Children" was a great, general book with great tips on handling emotional/social aspect of GCs. www.hoagiesgifted.org has great resources that you don't have to buy at all. You can also go to Davidson Institute's website message board (discussion forums). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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unless your gifted kid is curing cancer in the bathtub or splitting the atom between fruit leathers, he or she is just like our gifted kids. just raise the child... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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True, but often gifted children can have secondary learning disabilities, or emotional issues that make "just raising" them more of a challenge. If you read hoagiesgifted.org there is plenty of information about the extra challenges that gifted children face and thus the parents as well. Until you have gone through it, it may seem easy to give criticism. Being a gifted child is not a label of elitism...just a piece of information on which to base your philosophy for raising a child. It is not much different than saying my child has diabetes and I'm going to inform myself on how to raise a confident, healthy child who has the challenge of diabetes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 12:55 AM Flag
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NP - being gifted isn't a disability or a challenge, it is a GIFT! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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np: I like you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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Hoagies Gifted website is fantastic...plus they recommend all kinds of books depending on your specific needs. http://hoagiesgifted.org. My HG LKK is now 13 and doing pretty well. I have used this website often for resources, articles, books etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 12:47 AM Flag
[ - ] what do i need to have on hand when ds born (besides diapers?). i'm ordering from drugstore.com now, so if you have suggestions, i super-appreciate it. : ) 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.27.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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ayr saline nose spray. aquafor. wipes. nail clippers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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Baby Wash, Baby shampoo, wipes, thermometer, butt cream, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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more paper towels than you can imagine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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np. why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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from op: thanks for the replies so far...is there anything that is especially boy-specific that we need? (i have a dd, but she's 5 so i barely remember what kinds of things we had last time, besides wipes, cream and diapers) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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if he is being circumsized you need some gauze and alcohol for cleaning [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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no circ. anything else we need? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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lansinoh if you are going to breast feed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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and disposable breast pads [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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which ones? i don't remember which ones i had last time. i'm pretty small-busted btw, if there's a brand that's better for A-B cup. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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Mylicon (for gas), Tylenol, comb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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maxi pads (for you) and lots of 'em! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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wine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:15 AM Flag
[ - ] So a GenEd like 199 has better scores than Nest? So embarassing (for Nest) 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Hey, look everyone! Its the Nest basher again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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100% of the kids at NEST got 3 and above. Higher than the others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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100% of the kids at P.S. 150 got three or above in Math. Go gen ed! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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150 is not really a regular gen ed. It is a tiny school with only one class per grade. It can provide much more individual attention to every single student than any other gen ed school can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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It's still a gen ed. It doesn't "cream." If it's a good gen ed for the reasons you cite, so be it, but you can't have it both ways, i.e. a gen ed is only a gen ed if it doesn't do well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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OR claimed that 100% of NEST kids got 3 and above. Not sure where anybody said that NEST is better than gen ed in general. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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There is zero doubt in my mind that by the time my 1st grader is taking the 4th grade Math exams, the numbers are going to be much, much higher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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Of course there will, because your child is such a precious important genius. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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A NEST parent: My kid likes school. I hope for nothing less for everyone else. If that means NEST is first, second or last on some tests is meaningless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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Which data you're looking at?? NEST has all grades scoring higher than 700 on ELA, 199 none. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:35 PM Flag
[ - ] All these posts about ela and math scores at the g&t. Don't you find it interesting that at the middle school level, acceptances don't all come from g&t but a broad range of publics? All the stress about getting in to LL at K, but if they get in nest or anderson at middle they are but 2 from the whole grade that end up at A and maybe 5 end up at N. The rest of acceptances are from reg schools and same mix ends up at other middles like Lab or esms. Makes you wonder if it's worth the stress at the k level. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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The top 25% from 199 goes to Delta, the top 60% from PS9G&T goes to Delta. I think a good student will end-up at Delta from either school...but if DC goes to a crappy public (like PS166 GenEd or 163 GenEd) then his chances may get hurt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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But you'd never really know if it was the school ("crappy") or whether that dc wouldn't have gotten in anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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It's nature and nurture. I have tutored DCs at good and bad publics. The behavioral problems at the bad publics and the anti-education culture of the kids are real detriments. Some DCs at bad publics are very disruptive and mentally slow - affecting the whole quality of teaching [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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I'm sure you're right - I guess I was thinking of dist 2 schools, like 158, 6, 59,etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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In D2 on UES and ITA w/OR. Sending DC to LL from UES is one thing, but I can't see sending DC down to G&T in Chinatown or Chelsea for K-5. Lots of DC at ESM and other great D2 MS from all of the gen'l ed schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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parenting is a competition, didn't you know. first to read, highest scores, best schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who believes in the Social Darwinist approach to parenting ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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all I know is I have a happy kid who loves school, is loved by her teachers, does her homework without a fight, has nice friends, and enjoys extracurricular activities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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Sounds exactly like my DC. Teachers said that they wished they had a classroom full of kids like DC -- kind, good friend, engaged learner. I'm proud that so far she's a happy child who's enjoying school and life. Is she the most advanced reader or math student? Not by a long shot, but I think if things continue this way, she'll have a fulfilling life. What more could a parent want (besides a bigger apt.)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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lol. my thoughts exactly! including the bigger apt! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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it starts right at birth. Highest Apgar scores and percentiles for weight and height! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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right! forgot about that. dd was only 4 lb. 11 oz. and people looked at me like I was a pariah. I guess that quart of gin a day didn't help either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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I had a "friend" who so proud of her kid's 99th percentile for weight. It was insane! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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how do you think i felt? My first was 90th and my second was only 65th. I was devastated. Deflated. So I keep feeding him and feeding him and now the little tub of lard is finally in the 90th. Only problem is his height is still in the 65th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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FWIW, sibling preference may also be a big factor in middle school acceptances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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which schools have sib pref? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I think all of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:59 AM Flag
[ - ] pumping question: this is probably different for everyone, but just wondering approx. how long it takes to pump milk each time w/ medela pump. trying to decide between medela swing (single) and pump in style (double). will only be pumping 1-2 times/day for backup supply. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.27.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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I'd do the double. usually 5-10 minutes to empty each breast... remember not to go longer than that or else you'll be training your body to make more milk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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I agree, about 10 minutes--and DEFINITELY go for the double, really worth it, even for just get a couple of times a day. Get a hands free bra too, or you can just cut two holes in an old sports bra--I hated pumping and did it a lot, so I tried to make it a time when I could take 10 minutes and read a magazine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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from op: the pump in style is $250, and the single one is $120. wonder if it's worth the extra $$ for 10 min less? (btw, i had the avent isis last time, and took forever....so 20 min sounds like a dream!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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I guess it depends. I pumped for a year, so the extra money was totally worth it. If you'll only do it for a couple of weeks, probably not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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will probably do it for over a year...thanks for your thoughts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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does this mean you could pump extra and put it in the freezer, then quit earlier than you would have and still give milk for another few months (pump as though you had twins for half the time you plan to bf, then stop). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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do the double. it would take me 20 min all in, set up, pump, store. it is more efficient than the other pump [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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The double is more efficinet...not just for time, but for your body. You will produce more in each breast if you double pum. ONe-two times per day is alot more than you think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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thanks. i like the compact-ness of the single one, but definitely see that the double would be worth it. thanks, all, for the replies!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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With PISA, 10mins in beginning, now 5mins (Starting at about 5mos) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:31 AM Flag
[ - ] I am a terrible liar, but I had to tell a lie today and I'm 100% sure that the person I lied to knew that I was lying. I'm feeling like scum of the earth..... 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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You "had" to tell a lie. I love that. national security? millions of people would have died? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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Believe me (coming from a liar), it was truly necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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then OP should have prepped better if it was that important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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np: I think the only lies which are necessary/appropriate can be replaced with, "I'd rather not discuss." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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You didn't have to lie. You made a choice. Every now and then a little white lie can help everyone save face. But mostly it is a bad habit and the easy way out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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so, what was the lie ??!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:10 AM Flag
[ - ] As a whole, I can tell you from personal experience that most of the members of the Anderson Exec Bd are very inclusive. HOWEVER, the 3 current PTA Presidents (and they will unfortunately be there next year as well) are extremely exclusive and self serving. It's there way or the highway; if you don't agree with their positions or vote for something they want you are basically blackballed. And yes, this has happened to several members of the current board. Most insiders will tell you that is why most of last year's board is not returning. The 3 of them have made many enemies this year. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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"their" way or the highway. signed, Anderson Exec Bd mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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If you don't like it, then run against them, but to bitch about it on a public message board is only petty, not productive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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LOL! What kind of "power" do you think PTA presidents have anyway? School administrators use the PTA to communicate and help raise funds for what the school administrators feel they need to accomplish for the educational goals. This cracks me up... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 05:50 PM Flag
[ - ] We would never send to public school if we could afford to do better. Even when publics were better decades ago the difference between the public dcs education and our private nyc one were startling. By the sound of things it is only getting worse. Sad sad situation, our government should invest more in our dcs. 100 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 06.27.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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I've said the exact same thing, even though I've been flamed for it on here. My children will never go to public. I actually want to ensure that they grow up educated, and are challenged in school. I know this doesn't happen in most publics from personal expirience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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how can you have had personal experience with "most publics?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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You can't use logic and reason with people who post shit like that. Just read it and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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We are trying to find a way right now to send dc to private. We don't think we are entitled to it mind you, but we know how superior in every way our education was in comparison. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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you are both a bunch of snobs. You can get into ivies from public - almost all my friends at my ivy went to public. My cousin went to public and then Harvard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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You are misinformed as to what makes up a good education. Getting into Harvard doesn't mean you received a good eduction before you go to college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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np: I ended up at an Ivy after public school. I was just as "smart" as my peers, and in fact did very well in college, had no trouble keeping up, etc. But I was not as well-educated. It's a gap that never quite went away. I was even more aware of it in graduate school, where most of my classes were small seminars. Someone who has studied Latin, and often Greek, for example is better educated. My public school never offered those options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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No one is saying public schools are filled with dcs who are not smart, your point is well taken, you may very well have been as smart but without the proper education to foster that what did it really mean in the end [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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Really? You have to study Latin/Greek to be well educated? What else? By the way, I went to a crappy LA public HS and Latin was offered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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I think ORs point is that public schools offer a mediocre to bad education for dcs who are smart but unfortunately limited by the poor curriculum. OR was a very smart dc but being smart cannot help anyone if you are not being provided with the tools to broadened your education [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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That's where family and peers and drive and interest help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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OR: Yes, it does help, but it doesn't make up for it. It's hard to have drive when you don't know enough to know what you are missing. My family was not in a position to provide that sort of support. I had two wonderfully smart peers (one became a doctor, the other a lawyer), but they were getting the same poor education that I was getting. We all threw ourselves into every extracurricular activity possible because we were so bored in school. On the surface, we were academic stars, but we were poorly educated. One friend is in LA, one in the middle of the country, I'm in NYC. The one thing we have in common is that we all are sending our dc to private schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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And my experience was obviously different from yours and my friends and I are sending our kids to public schools in LA and NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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I am you, OR. Bad public school in the middle of the country, but threw myself into every activity. Went to Yale, did well, great career, but never really as well educated as my peers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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really I never felt anything was missing. I went public to ivy and to grad school as well. It's unfortunately of your own making [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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I went to Harvard from a public school, and I felt that others knew more about European history, but my math and science education seemed perfectly fine. I was able, for instance, to pass the required rudimentary test of statistics and computer programming on the first try, mostly becaue I had gone to school in the Bay Area and had taken years of computer programming, while my roommate, from Atlanta's most famous private school, was at sea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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NP: That's what I think and what I try to say on limited-view threads like this - there is no one definition of what "well-educated" means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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Private school is less important for really bright, intrinsically motivated kids. It makes the real difference for mediocre students, who will be pushed past their natural comfort level. Equally, when it comes to college admissions, they do the best job for kids with spotting records or lower scores. At my Ivy the gap between my boarding school friends and the public school educated students closed by the end of the first year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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Do you have any friends who send dc to public? I am sending dc to private for my own reasons, but don't feel superior about it. People do what they have to and what they believe in. I do think that many publics are academically strong, we wanted a school that was more than that and that took the whole child into account. Many of my friends chose public and their dc are do well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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^^^^doing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Yes, we do, of course we do. We are not feeling superior or impressed with ourselves, I am saying that public education is a sad state and that is a real shame. Pound for pound you just cannot compare the education you receive from a TT private with any public school, and yes I am including so called selective ones [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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What do you base this grand statement on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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How about being aware at a very young age that my public counterparts in both the city as well as the suburbs were leagues behind us in all subjects, that their knowledge in anything but pop culture was limited at best. That they didn't follow politics or read the newspaper or read novels for pleasure, I could go on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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NP: OK. Now you are being totally absurd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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You are only being defensive about your own education, which is something no one can help but rest assured your private counterparts noticed the gap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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np: i wnet to non-nyc public schools. i followed politics, learned history and art history and music theory (and math and science). you just can't generalize this broadly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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yawn. aren't we sick of this fight yet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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How old are your dc's? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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1 and 3.5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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hope your kids don't get in and you'll have to move [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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Well they will, sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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they will get shut out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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Not likely as we are double legacies with v. smart dcs. But good luck to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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how old is your oldest now? 3? You are going to be in for a surprise, my dear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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I am sure you hope so, but this thread is not about your bitter insecurities. Dear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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and I know you are just here to stir the pot. In reality you are just a bitter, fat, poor women sitting at a library computer somewhere in East New York. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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Oh wouldn't you like that. Shame for you it is not the case. Let's stop this here, it is not benefitting anyone or addressing the topic. if you want to make digs at anonymous people to offset your insecurities find another thread and someone else for bait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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I think you started the whole thing, didn't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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Not at all. Look above. Really, lets end this particular thread, have a great day, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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toodles [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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I sent my dc to a private UES kindergarten, not tt, and it stunk. We moved to Forest Hills and she is getting a far superior education at the public elementary. Class size not bad either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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No one, when they discuss private vs public, is ever talking about or comparing Ks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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What grade is she in now? What school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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And I think it is collassally irresponsible to spend $30k+ a year for 13 years, *before* college, unless your family is already able to save enough money for retirement and college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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Nothing is more important than your child's education. Waiting until they are 18 to provide one is irresponsible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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And I would argue that you need to take a much more broad, holistic view of what education is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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ITA, which is why we are doing private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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What exactly does that mean? We need to make sure our dc is limited by a system that doesn't work, that we should accept and expose our dc to an education administered by civil servants? That our dc should be exposed to a classroom where the learning is leveled with the lowest common denominator making sure dc is never challenged? This 'holistic and broad' argument is complete fluff devised to make people feel better about bad choices [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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NP: If that is your definition, then selective public schools provide the same kind of homogenous classroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Not the same curriculum or teachers. yes, even Hunter dcs were just not up to speed. Now everyone will flame but it is what it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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I disagree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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Putting yourself in a position where your kids will have to fund your retirement -- that is irresponsible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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No one will be funding our retirement and have you ever heard of FA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I was addressing the hypothetical -- A family that makes too much for FA, but finds that the cost of private will force them to cut their budget to the bone, and severely limit their ability to save for retirement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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If you make too much for FA - you can still be stocking 15% into your 401K - you just won't be able to take vacation - the FA limit is pretty high in NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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And that gets back to my "holistic and broad" view. I think missing family vacations is a pretty big deal, frankly. Not for me, but for my dcs to get exposure to the world beyond NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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not everyone gets financial aid - the competition is fierce and I would never rely on it. Make sure you are in a good public district just in case [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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That is true, only two families applying out from our PreK who needed FA this year got it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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When a student graduates HS, what is the difference between a "well educated" one and one who isn't? How do you determine this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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If you lived in Greenwich, CT, Scarsdale, NY, Sands Point, NY, or Upper Saddle River, NJ would you also send you kids to a private school? Most of the massively wealthy people in these areas do not. So this idea that if you have money you ALWAYS chose (or should chose) private school must only be a natural law on this little island...Or maybe it is not a law at all and everyone makes their own calculus according to a variety of issues such as education, entitlement, peer-pressure, personal experience, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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The public schools there are also very limited in comparison to TT NYC privates. The privates around those areas may be slightly better than the public offerings but nothing compared to NYC privates. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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1) all of these areas are in commuting distance to NYC privates especially via the limo or helicopters of the super-rich, 2) and more importantly, economics would have dictated the creation of Daltons, HMs, Trinitys, etc. in all of these locations if there was a market for them. In fact, the reduced cost of creation (due to real estate and construction costs) and operations (due to extra NYC expenses) would dictate that a TT pvt school would make more money in Saddle River , etc. than NYC so that is where they likely would have appeared first and certainly be more abundant. But strangely, they are not. Maybe those basic economic principles just do not apply either... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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Forget it. She's a snob troll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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Because I am stating obvious facts? I think you are defensive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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You have stated no facts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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np: you may not like OPs attitude but look at comparisons in US News on rankings, look at exmissions over 50% of each TT class to these HYP schools you all covet, high scores all around, the fact that eachof the TT finish stats HS requirements by 10th grade and everything from that point on is AP. Come on don't be blind because you don't like what OP is saying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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OP: exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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College exmissions mean little unless you're comparing within private schools. Besides, your own "facts" aren't right. Check the percentage going to HYP from each school. As for "high scores", if you mean SAT, the public schools do as well if not better. And I don't even know what you mean by the HS requirements by 10th grade & AP statement. It doesn't make sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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The TT private finish state requirements for HS diploma by 10th grade the rest of their classes in every subject are college level. But FWIW, I think we all need to jump off of this thread and address 'baby calling cards'! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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If that's true, then so do the selective public high schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Then why they still send half of their kids into mediocre colleges? They can't all be that fabulous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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Are you guys really that dumb? Kids that go to private schools are self-selecting. Of course those are the ones that come from the right environment to take education really seriously. And there are plenty of children in public education also. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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This is not at all what the OP said. Certainly there is a group of a FEW truly TT privates that have exceptional teaching and students. One of the results is a high acceptance rate at Ivies (BTW, 50% HYP is impossible). But there is also a group of selective public HS that have great teaching and students. And (surprise) they also have amazing Ivy acceptance rates, high SATs, etc. The OP point was that NO ONE should send their kids to private (in fact, any private) if they have the money. This is simply not validated by any facts and most people believe it is wrong. If everyone can get into Dalton, sure, then maybe "everyone" should send their kid there, but that is not reality. Also, if everyone can get into Hunter than the same applies. Kids can find a great education in many places - privates, G&T, publics, charters - and unfortunately they can find a lousy education in those same places. Blanket statements do not apply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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^^^ meant NO ONE should send their kids to PUBLIC (in fact, any PUBLIC) if they have the money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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what facts? I have not seen one fact in this entire thread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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Well, there is OP's anecdote about how everyone who went to public school is a People Magazine-reading idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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oh, I missed that fact. Shame on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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you probably went to public school. -np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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So true.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Hey, what's wrong with a little "People" magazine once in a while, signed Ivy-educated physician. Oh wait, I went to public school, so I guess I don't know any better. Silly me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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At least you read, despite your public school education! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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That and the NY Post, and of course, I never miss a season of American Idol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Most of the wealthy in Greenwich DO send their kids to private schools also in many, many Westchester communities. All NJ publics stink, even in the best communities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 04:27 PM Flag
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How about some real stats - In New Caanan, CT 13.1% of kids go to private school which is only a bit above the CT state 10% and almost right on the Nat'l 12% [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I went to all public schools and public university in the Midwest and I have a great job in publishing. And to be honest, I find that a lot of Ivy-educated New York women are not as well read or intelligent as I am. They haven't read deeply in the classics; they don't know European history at all; the only thing they know about the Met is the rooftop bar. This is really about social climbing much more than true intellectual achievement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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However, how does one qualify as being better educated? I would say that the qualifications you are stating above may be impressive, but I may be more impressed by a person who is educated more multi-culturally, e.g. familiar with history and literature on Europe, but also of Asia, South America, Africa. Also, what about the math and sciences? I often speak to otherwise highly intelligent and well-read people who are total idiots when discussing anything remotedly health or science-related, and do not see anything wrong with that. My point is that there are many ways to be well-educated and appear well-educated, but there are some which just have more snob appeal in certain circles, particularly on UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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^^ Good point. But the women I am talking about are liberal arts majors from the Ivy League schools. There is no doubt that a well educated scientist or mathematician is on a superior level. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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np: while i find OP odious, and i also attende public school--even my shitty public school was much better and safer than most of the public schools available to NYers at this point. i would be fine with our dcs attending our zoned elementary school, but i'm not sure what we'd do for middle school. but if one CAN afford (and get into) a good private, why not do it? we can debate supporting the public school system, and acting in the interest of the greater good but, personally, i'm not interested in better the public school system for future generations at the expense of my own dcs' educational opportunities. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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^^^wow, sorry about typos--maybe i shouldn't have had that second glass of wine... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 04:34 PM Flag
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ITA. At my ivy league school, the private school NY students just didn't stand out any more than anyone else. They just didn't. Not against those coming from crappy private schools in the west coast, or those coming from crappy schools abroad, or, yes, public schools in New York. And I could say the same about the my grad school experience, and my entire professional experience. Private school provides a brand and a social circle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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FWIW, the NYC publics are much better than they were decades ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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I would never send my kids to private no matter how much money we had. The freaky parents, bad values, and social irresponsibility of sequestering the richest kids away from the unwashed masses grosses me out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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^^^ "unwashed masses" in quotes of course. the reality is people in publics are so much cooler and nicer and more interesting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:47 AM Flag
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I'm telling you, this is all about parents longing for Ivy League fast track so that they can feel as if they have accomplished something with their shallow lives. PURE UNADULTERATED SOCIAL CLIMBING 101. Do you want to have to spend time with wives of hedge fund managers, gold diggers from hell, year after agonizing year? The thought makes me sick. The publics are where the artists, the true progressives and liberals, and the interesting thinkers are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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I beg to differ. I went to a now "TT" private in NYC and am a writer. I was very encouraged in the arts (though it may be different now). It depends most of all on who you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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ITA. And I work with those freaks all day long - (finance) - by and large its not where the creative interesting thinkers are, and its not where I want my kids going for playdates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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np: ittta. I went to private school until high school, then my family moved and I started at the local public HS. It was supposed to be temporary and I would start in private HS the next fall, but I was sooo much happier to be away from all the wealthy snobs and their neurotic parents. I loved public school, and got a great education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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An honest and serious issue that will likely be flamed. Of course the above poster does not mean every parent is freaky, teaches poor values, etc., but one wonders about the percentage at pvt that do. Did anyone read the front page story in New York magazine about HM recently and not seriously wonder about the type of values and moral responsibility being fostered there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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Hmm. Studies indicate that after controlling for parental education and income, the benefits of private education are small. They also indicate that most benefits of private education accrue to low income children. Most of the freshman at Harvard are from public schools, as are most Intel Science Contest semifinalists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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Specifically 55% of Princeton's class are from public (11% parochial, 34% private), but since private schools make up 12% of all students they do have higher than their per capita rate. But they are selective schools, so you would expect that. Harvard numbers are likely similar. Actually 10 out of 10 Intel award winners this year (and almost every year) are from public schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
[ - ] have had a live in nanny for about 6 months. lately, she has been asking for fridays off to go to the dentist (last friday and this friday). i have 4 kids and need lots of help, however, the past 2 fridays my mother in law has volunteered to come and cover. i have been paying my nanny for friday, even though she isn't working. should i continue if she asks for another day off? i wish we were rolling in the dough and could afford to , but we're not. General Topics[ Reply | Watch | Options ] 06.27.08, 10:16 AM [ Flag ] 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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Did you not establish a certain amount of sick days up front? Can she make up the time by watching the kids on Saturday? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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You need to put on your concerned mom face and start asking lots and lots of questions about her dentist visits. Is she ok? Is she in pain? Is she going to need to go back and/or have surgery or anything? My employer would pay if I was sick for a few days, but I couldn't just keep using it as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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sounds like a short-term problem. She probably just has a bad dental problem that needed to get addressed. If she's getting a root canal and crown, that could take multiple visits. I think your nanny is entitled to a certain amount of sick/personal days. Maybe 5? You need to discuss this with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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