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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Will you get a Hep A shot for dc for a trip to Mexico? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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is it required? my ped mentioned there is shortage of vaccine and it's hard to get in the US, but it will be mandatory soon for all the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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Really? Who's your pediatrician. Ours recommended it and we had our first round already. 3yo btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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we did. we also got it. ask your pediatrician. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:45 AM Flag
[ - ] almost 9 weeks post partum and ebf. I am bleeding today - could this be my period so soon? WTF? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.27.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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It could be. If you are concerned check with ob. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Thanks - I have left them a message, just curious whether anyone else here got it so fast [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I didn't but I have heard of other people getting them back as early as you have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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i got my period with my first db around 11 wks pp. also ebf. i was very bitter-thought I got a freebie with the ebf [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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OP: Just spoke with my ob - yup, I got my period. ARGH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
[ - ] have you ever asked a stranger in public to stop cursing in front of your dc? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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No. I would think it would just draw attention to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I did, and dd said "what'd he say? what'd he say?" so as with first OR best not to draw attention after all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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deathwish imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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I've actually been asked this, in of all places, a BAR in CHELSEA. I turned around and in a loud voice told the sanctimommy that if she didn't want her precious little boy to hear "fuck", then she shouldn't have brought him into a FUCKING bar in FUCKING Chelsea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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LOL! ITA with you on that one, but on the street it can be annoying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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snort [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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wow, were you so fucking drunk and, like, did all your fucking drunk friends think you were fucking hilarious??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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i'm fucking drunk right fucking now and i think she was so fucking funny fuck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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No. I don't get drunk, as a matter of fact. Why do you ask? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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bc she is an uppity prick [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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AWESOME. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Yes. I only do it if I am not threatened by the offender though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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Yes, I have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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No because I let it slip a lot. My ds now says "sh*t" often and *most proud* correctly. He is 16 mo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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no, not even the teenagers on the bus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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No, different people's behavior is a part of life, and dc learning how to deal with it is a part of life. You can't protect him from everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I can't help but think of the scene where Ted Knight says to Rodney Dangerfield after Rodney cracks ass, "Sir, how dare you break wind before my wife>" To which Rodney replies, "Sorry sweetheart, I didn't know it was your turn." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have no or minimal life insurance? My DH thinks $350k. is plenty (we currently have one million for 2 kids) and he wants to terminate our $650 policy because it is "throwing money away" 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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sorry to say, but I agree with your DH, as long as you have a will that appoints a guardian who, presumably, would have the financial resources to take care of your kids. And as long as either of you could support the kids if the other were to die. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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Okay good perspective. DH is annoyed that I SAHM so he does not want to "subsidize" me in the event of his death. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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oh my. what does he think would happen to you and the kids if he died? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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His answer: low probability of dying before kids are 18; I can get a job (of course I can do this now but could never cover daycare) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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but who would take care of the kids while you were working, if he died? If you can't get a job that would cover daycare now, how could you do so if dh died? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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you have to be kidding that is really twisted [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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I'm a SAHM too, and my dh insists that we keep life insurance on me too, b/c if I died, he would quit his very stressful time consuming but well-paying job for a job with better hours and presumably lower pay so he could be with our dcs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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ditto. OP's DH is a selfish idiot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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np: A man who thought so little of me would not stay my husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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those are two REALLY big ifs, IMHO. I think you should have more life insurance than you currently have, not less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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Do either of you have a policy though your work as well? I would think that one million is the bare minimum especially if you would get taxed. We have one policy for 600,000 through Dh's work (untaxed)one policy through my work 300,000(untaxed) and an addional 1mil policy that would be taxed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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How much is the policy and how much of a financial strain is it to keep? Also, what does dh bring in now and what do you expect you could earn if he passed away tomorrow? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:17 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know anything about Grace Church Preschool in Brooklyn Heights? Is it good? Nurturing? Academic? Any idea what the tuition is? Their website doesn't say... TIA What kinds of kids go there? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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hellloooo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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It's a wonderful school, small and nurturing--very traditional, but an ideal first school experience. We loved our years there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 04:42 AM Flag
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thank you! what are the families like? what's the vibe? who is picking up and dropping off -- moms or nannies? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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lovely little school. my nephew and good friends dd go. a little expensive, hard to get in. lots of skinny, sahms w/nannies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 11:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone used a decorator to get ideas on how to furnish/what to buy for your apartment? I know that some furniture stores have allegedly "free consultations," but I'm skeptical. It's time to get rid of our old stuff and upgrade, but I have no clue about these things. tia. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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The danger in using the store's consultant is that you are going to walk away with a housefull of furniture from the same showroom, and it will look a page from their catalogue. A designer is a good idea, in that they can get you a trade discount on a lot of items, which essentially balances off the cost of their services. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I wouldn't call that a danger - I would love it if my house looked like a page from a catalog! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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Depends on the catalog. I've seen friends who drank the kool aid from Ethan Allen, and it just has no personality to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Oh please - right now my carpet has Gatorade stains, my armoire is covered in crayon and my couch and upholstered chairs are used as trampolines. Give me Ethan Allen Koolaide any day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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Fair enough! Here are some great furniture places to check out for ideas/inspiration: BDDW, Jonathan Adler (great sofas - custom fabrics and not over the top expensive), Room & Board, Modernica - all of these stores are in SoHo. If you can tell me your aesthetic, I could recommend some more relevant options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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Oh, thanks. I don't like furniture that is too modern or minimalist. I tend to like things from Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn. Nothing too decorated or fancy (like Ethan Allen, imo). Also, I'm looking to re-do the living room, so... couch, entertainment center, wall hangings. tia! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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Would still recommend Adler (see Blakeley sofa), then a field trip to ABC to get a better feel for what you're looking for (also, Mitchell Gold has a showroom there). Overstock has some great rugs from Safavieh (not id'd as such) for around $500. I'm also a big fan of Craigslist and eBay, when I know what I want but can't afford it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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^Also, check out Apartment Therapy's website for inspiration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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Ethan Allen is different from your perception and unlike PB has sales peopel who are trained as designers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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np: It's really the luck of the draw whether you get a good one or someone stuck in the 1980s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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what does that mean, Drank the Kool Aid?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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Mindlessly agreeing to whatever someone tells you to do (cult term). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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Ah. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:02 AM Flag
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OP: can you recommend a store? I think Ethan Allen does this... but I'm frankly not so keen on their stuff. Pottery Barn? Crate & Barrel? do they do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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An independant furniture store would absolutely offer this service [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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OP: I'm sorry to be so seemingly helpless... but do you know of any independent furniture stores on the UWS? I could google, obviously... but I'd have to check them all out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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just pick up some home design magazines to get a sense of what you would like, then go from there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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do the magazines generally say where you can purchase the stuff? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I love Room & Board, and the store in SoHo has design consultants. Their style is a mix of contemporary with classic mid-century modern pieces, and the showroom is really well-done with interesting fabrics, etc., and much funkier and creative than their catalog. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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any suggestions on a painter for the UES looking to paint two bed apt this summer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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Go to Domino Magazine.com -- they had a list up and coming designers, many of which would work with you just to help you lay out the room. ABC has services as well. I agree with the Kool Aid poster -- go through a few magazines and you will see (Domino, Traditional Home, Country Living if that's your thing) how nice rooms have stuff from all different places and include some "used" pieces no matter what your style is. If you get too much from Pottery Barn or Room and Board it is going to look dated in a few years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Now I know how people gain weight at work. Everyday there's a b-day cake, pizza party, breakfast meeting, something. Ugh. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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oh totally. plus also work is boring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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np LOL! True! That's the dirty little secret to all those people who say they would be so bored as SAHMs. They ARe bored at work too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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but at least they have free food everyday... not to mention the freedom to pee with the door closed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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LMAO! true, true. But I can take a nap at least once a day! ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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you totally win there. no weight gain and a daily nap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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;-) Too bad I have to go back to work soon. Sigh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Weird observation. We, NY-ers, pride ourselves in our individuality. However, if you read any long post here it's clear we dwelling towards mass culture, mass thinking, very mainstream and banal. Are we wired that way, so as soon as we are in some kind of social situation, we tend to associate ourselves with some "group" and follow the traits of this group. What's strange, it's online mass behaviour. Any psychologists here to explain? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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not a psychologist (but I play one on UB) It's a human trait to want to belong to some group. Even people who claim to want to be individuals tend to dress like, act like and hang out with people who are also "individuals". Think about the 60's. Everyone rebelled against the status quo and ended up looking, acting etc just alike. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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but how do you know which "group" to associate yourself with? People always seem to find a consensus (or a majority opinion) on any conflicting post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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don't know. Some of us tend to have strong opinions regardless of who else is around. Others always go for the underdog or want to be on the winning team. Depends on the person I guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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why do we want to be on a "winning team" online? are we all social losers in real life and come here for reassurance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I have never thought that NYers pride ourselves on individuality. Why do you say that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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np I think you tend to pride yourselves on being NYers and being diff from the rest of the country [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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That New York doesn't live here anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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where is it now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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If I knew, I'd be there. It went out for cigarettes one night and never came back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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ITA. And meanwhile we have to listen to people demand mandatory chicken pox shots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Right. Much better to suffer through a preventable epidemic in the name of individuality. Stupidity was never the hallmark of this city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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sorry fell asleep halfway through your post, what were you saying???.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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This stupid post. You stupid!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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That most of the people posting here are suburban transplants, and not really NYers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Is there a difference in transplants between those who came from the suburbs and those who came from other cities? Or are they all the same under "not really NYers"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 09:32 AM Flag
[ - ] Feeling terrible...love my dh, but keep having dreams about ex-bf where we get back together and in the dream I am so relieved and happy. Haven't talked to dh about it, because will obviously make him feel bad, but feeling guilty, as if I'm cheating! Ugh. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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It's just a dream. Do not tell your husband. If you are having issues with your dh this might be a prompt to sort them. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Did the ex-bf give you better sex? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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nope dh much better, but ex was better at doting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:39 PM Flag
[ - ] when you drop your kid off for a playdate that will go through lunch or someone is watching your child etc, do you pack a lunch for them? I'm watching a friend's 3yo today (I have a 3yo too) and she packed her a lunch. I would never think to do that. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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She was just being polite, probably, or wanted to make sure her 3yo had something he would eat. I have never done that, but I have asked. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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I guess so. I just feel a little bad b/c I have dropped my DD off at her house before and just assumed they would feed her. Neither kid is too picky or has allergies etc. Just seems off to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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^^meant odd, not off! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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I can see that. I guess next time just say you'll take care of lunch, or if your dd is going to her house, ask if you should pack a lunch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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good idea. Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Has this happened to anyone? I went to the doctor when I thought I was 7.5 weeks pregnant. When they did the ultrasound the baby measured that I was 5.5 weeks. I can understand that ovulated late but I took my pregnancy test three weeks ago where it should be nearly impossible to detect anything, right? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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Still OP (I hit enter too soon). I am just very worried that the baby isn't growing properly and won't be getting my blood work back until Monday. Just wanted to hear from any BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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I had the exact same thing happen. My dc is 9mo now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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^GL. My due date was put back 10 days after a scan at 6.5w. Everything was fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone want to recommend a good undereye circle treatment? (treatment, not concealer) 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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I wish! i am watching this post though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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I am a huge fan of all of the nutrogena products. Their eye treatment is great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Owen Anthony? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 06.27.08, 10:21 AM Flag
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Switch it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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wasn't he on ER? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Yuck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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how much you owe him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:31 PM Flag
[ - ] My 5.5yo son called himself a sissy the other day. He said he had read the word in a book and it described him because he preferred "girl-stuff" like reading, writing, drawing, etc. And he didn't enjoy playing catch or any of the other things boys do. How would you folks have handled this? (I pointed out that dad doesn't play sports like that. And that those "rules" about what a boy does versus what a "girl" does are old fashioned and pretty silly. I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas/thoughts I missed.) 96 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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I would have told him it's perfectly OK to be gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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I'm not uncomfortable with him being gay but at this age, I don't think that is what this is about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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Of course it is. I'm a gay man, and I knew I was gay before kindergarten. There isn't a single gay man I know who didn't also feel the same way. Embrace it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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ITDA! Just because he doesn't like sports doesn't equate gay. sorry. I doubt you are a gay man because none of my gay friends would agree with your statement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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Ask them. Don't speak for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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I don't. I know they would disagree with this because we've discussed it. There are plenty of straight guys who don't like sports. I am shocked at how narrow-minded you are! you have some pretty rigid roles yourself! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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Really. You've discussed this very specific posting with all of your gay friends in just the 4 minutes it's been online? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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np you think she hasn't talked to her friends about this? She said it happened the other day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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No in the past. we have covered a wide variety of topics. I also have a DS but none of the straight men in my life like sports. They had wished they had had this growing up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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np: he may or may not be gay, but liking to read and draw more than play catch does not indicate that one way or the other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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It's a pretty strong indication. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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np you are full of it. And I doubt you are a gay man. Plenty of stright guys either never like sports etc or go through a pahase as a child where they don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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ITA! saying a 5 yo child is gay based on what he does in his free time is assigning adult sex role. Not good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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yep - this is just as bad as the opposite "narrow minded" way. Anything that pigeon holes someone is bad IMHO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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Homo- or heterosexuality is not "assigning a sex role". It's a sexual orientation determined at conception. It has nothing to do with the actual sex act. It's there whether you act on it or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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true - but making assumptions about a persons orientation based on what they like or dislike doing - sports, art, etc - is ridiculous. There are plenty of people gay and straight who defy stereotypes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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But the vast majority of gay men I know (and we're talking in the hundreds here) all started out the same way as this young boy. It's a VERY strong indicator. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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I don't agree. Would you then argue that girls who like sports are lesbian? You are using social constructions of gender to explain sexual orientation, which I don't agree with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I don't know hundreds, but I know quite a few and some of them were like this and some were. I also have a very staright BIL who was a "sissy" as a child. I will concede that it can possibly, sometimes be an indicator, but you are stating your case way too strongly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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How do you know your BIL isn't really gay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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LOL! Well, he has dated lot's of women in the past and is now married with 3 kids. I guess he could have been lying to himself all these years, but he seems pretty happy and well adjusted. I could ask you how you know you aren't really straight? It's all kind of subjective isn't it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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We really only know ourselves. I know I'm gay. You know YOUR sexuality. But it's impossible to REALLY know what's going on in someone else's head. I say this only because I have sex with plenty of married men, so being married doesn't automatically mean they're not gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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also true but I think most guys who are conflicted about their sexuality seem in some way unhappy - many are very homophobic. BIL seems really normal and happy and unconflicted. ANything is possible but I highly doubt he is gay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Well, you certainly know him better than I do. But I assure you that I don't screw unhappy and conflicted men. They are all "normal" (whatever that means) and "happy". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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right - because happy, unconflicted men cheat on their wives with gay men. Sorry but I don't think so. Cheating and lying automatically shows some sort of conflict and lack of personal responsibilty IMHO. You ought to look at why you feel you don't deserve someone who will commit to you while you are at it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Well, I really don't care what you think. I understand that the notion would make you very insecure. But it's nothing you can do anything about, even if it's your own DH, so you really shouldn't sweat it. And I AM looking for a long-term commitment. But in the meantime, I need sex, and there are plenty of men who are willing to give it to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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fine. But why do it with men who are otherwise committed? I would tell a girlfriend the same thing. It has nothing to do with me being insecure. I trust my DH. I know there are men out there who will do lot's of things. That doesn't mean it's a good idea - for your own mental health - to do it with them. Just something to think about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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I do it because they're hot, and there's a mutual attraction (especially if we're into the same "stuff"). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:04 AM Flag
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it is ok to just say you're a whore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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it's your life and your psyche, but maybe give it a thought once in awhile. The "right" one might come along just as you are playing around with the wrong one who has no intrest in anything beyond a night or 2. Just saying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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OK, you really don't understand how men have sex, do you? With men, it's not always about relationship building. With men, quite often, it's all about just getting off. Period. And yes, I'm a whore. ALL men are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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he says proudly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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I do understand that men are different. I live with one! But - while you are off playing around, Mr Right could come along and maybe he isn't into whores. Maybe he wants someone with a little self control. Not all men are whores BTW. You have that biology working on you of course, but you also have something called self control. Think about it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Hon, we're ALL whores (including Mr. Right). The self-control comes into play when we actually make the commitment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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hon, it's not true. I guess we will have to disagree on this one but I hope you will at least think about the possibility for a minute - for your own sake. Self control can be a good thing for many many reason. Gotta go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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a different man: I am not a whore. I have never been a whore. I have never had sex with a woman who was not an important person in my life. Please don't speak for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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to the different man - ITA! You are like my DH (although he was a bit of a whore in his younger days! LOL!) I think all men have that biology but most are aware that they are in control of their behavior. Sleeping with married people is a bad idea no matter what gender you are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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OK bud. But you're straight. That's a self-limiter right there, because the people you want to have sex with are WOMEN, who have sex LIKE women (only with an eye on relationship-building), rather than having sex with like-minded men. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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hey - just as all men aren't the same - all women aren't the same. For a gay person, you are really into stereotypes there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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assigning a sexual orientation at 5 based on free time pursuits isn't logical [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Of course it is. Your own homophobia is preventing you from accepting the truth. Sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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np you are being ridiculous. The fact that she doesn't want to stereotype a child does not make her homophobic. If anything, you sound heterophobic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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I am not a homophobe at all. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I am a homophobe, thank you. As I said, you are taking social constructions of gender and using it to explain homosexuality. I don't agree. Most queer theorists would agree. Read some Judith Butler and get back to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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^^ Typo. Most queer theorists wouldn't agree with your logic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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I doubt you've spoken with "most" queer theorists (whatever THOSE are). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I haven't spoken with them, but I have read them in graduate school. You actually might really enjoy them! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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seriously, if your gay you might really enjoy reading them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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^^ god, "you're" typo city. thanks for calling me a homophobe. you got me all pissed off! :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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np: just curious to the gay man - are you a parent? how old are your children and how would you describe their sexual orientations? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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so let me see, if you don't like baseball then you like to suck c*ck. I don't understand your logic here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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Let me ask you this, potty mouth. Were you a heterosexual girl at age 5? Did YOU suck c*ck? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Sorry but I don't sexualize children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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Neither do I. You're the one who suggested sucking c*ck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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no, you said he was gay for not liking sports. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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No, I said he was gay because he self-identified himself as a "sissy" for not only not liking sports, but preferring "girl stuff" AND not liking "any of the other things boys do". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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He is a 5 yo child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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Point? I knew I was gay when I was a 4 year old child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I am not touching this with a ten foot pole.. You clearly are mapping your history onto this young boy, which I think is unfair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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np ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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How is it unfair? It's the same "history" most of my gay friends share. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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He is 5. He doesn't have a history yet. He is creating his. I would label or assign any rigid rules. Let him grow up and discover his sexuality when it is time. Most children are sexually defined at five. I am not discounting your experience but let him have his. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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^^ should be "wouldn't label..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I am letting him have his. But he's gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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well that's fine, but I would let him discover this on his own. I know plenty of straight men who would disagree with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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Of course they would. Plenty of straight men are homophobic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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np we can have different opinions about this w/o being homophobic ya know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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Not really. Unless you're gay, you have no idea what the gay experience is really like, so your "opinion" isn't really as valid as mine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:58 AM Flag
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oh lord. So now ww have to be soemthing to have an opinion about it? Have you ever been in the army? Then you can't have an opinion about the war. That makes just as much sense [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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well I think it isn't fair to call a 5 yo gay or straight. You can have your gay experience. I support you, despite what you may feel. Just stop using social constructions of gender to assign sexuality to someone who doesn't have it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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We all have sexuality at age 5. We have it at age 4, 3, 2, and 1 as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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no, that's why pediphiles aren't gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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What the hell does pedophaelia have anything to do with this discussion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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children have no sexuality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Yes they do. I did. I remember. I was there. So did my friends. Where were you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I wasn't molested. It sounds like you were. I was riding my bike and playing with stuffed animals. Not thinking about who I wanted to have sex with...because I wasn't really aware about that stuff. I am sad to hear you had a horrible childhood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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Neither was I. I guess the only difference between us is that I wasn't an uppity prude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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wow. you really don't know me at all. have fun cruisin' tonight! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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good lord, you have terrible logic in your arguments! so if you are straight and don't like sports then you're also homophobic?! You need to read a logic book, my friend. Should I say that most of my gay friends were molested by men as children and that's why they assign sexual orientation to small children, because of their own pasts? No because correlations do not make causation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I hate the way children are presented with such rigid gender roles. I am lucky that neither my dad nor DH like sports or stereotypical boys stuff. just take comfort that your ds will be smart and possibly wealthy. sports are for boys who are so smart. :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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talk about rigid roles. stereotype much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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take a joke much?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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I think you said exactly the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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My son's favorite color is pink, he loves dolls, reading, writing, drawing--and he is very sensitive. So what?! I think you handled it well. Get rid of that book! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:27 AM Flag
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Now that is a piece of advice I can take to heart. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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^^OP, btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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good for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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OP? did you expect this conversation when you posted your question?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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Hell no. I was really surprised it went down the orientation path. Because he reads and writes instead of playing football... at five. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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OP: I got called away. Too bad. You folks had a heated discussion and I wish I had been able to be a part of it as it happened. I have to agree with the posters who say that this is not about my son's sexual orientation. Plenty of men are straight and not into sports. Just like there are plenty of gay athletes. I did not press him on which book because it was on the way to school and I was afraid it would turn into one of those, "Well, it wasn't really from a book. Johnny said it on the playground." It was the last full day of school and I didn't need to open that can of worms at that point. But as was said above, I will find out tonight what the "book" was because I don't really want that kind of perspective in my house. Thanks all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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I was just about to post. I think you handled it fine. I would probably try to talk to him more and work on his confidence so he can feel good about who he is etc. Plenty of straight guys do not like sports etc. I'm married to an Artist so I know first hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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That is a funny twist. He doesn't seem to lack for self confidence. He was very matter of fact about it even. It wasn't like, "I'm so embarrassed -- I'm a sissy." It was more like, "Hey, I'm brown haired, blue eyed, I have a cowlick, I'm a sissy and Oh yeah, I'm half Irish." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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ITA with how you handled it. Sorry it turned into such a debate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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It was hard to let the debate just happen and not interject specifics about my boy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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NP My dh said it was hard for him growing up b/c he was in to stuff like comic books and music and not sports, so he felt weird and like an outsider (until he got to college and got involved in the radio station, joined a band, etc). Plenty of men are not in sports, and are made to feel badly about it, too. So sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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OP: I was surprised that the gay dad posted what he posted. Like the 5 yo boys who prefer to write or draw are all going to grow up to be gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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