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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Did anyone pay out of pocket for a FISH test? If so, what did it cost? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.27.08, 01:21 PM Flag
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If I remember correctly it was $500. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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What type of FISH are you looking for? For the standard prenatal panel (that looks at chromosome 21,13,18,X,Y) or is there something more specific (like a specific syndrome). standard prenatal fish does run somewhere between 400-600$ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have coxsacke virus when pregnant? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.27.08, 01:20 PM Flag
[ - ] where would you buy property in LA as an investment? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 01:18 PM Flag
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santa barbara (which ok, isn't really la but a better value, imho) or orange county (depends on where though) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:25 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have paretns who favor their sibling and kids? my parents only want to visit my brother and his baby...it makes me sad and angry they don't care if they see my family and 2 dc. how do you deal with this? I am trying to rise above, but right now I am feeling resentful. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:07 PM Flag
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Just know that you get to choose the nursing home :) hahaha, jk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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My mom preferes my sibling and my niece. That is ok, my MIL likes my boys best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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I wish I could not be annoyed by it. Unfortunaltey my ILs are gone so I don't have that option. I may have to have a talk with my parents, though I can predict it won't go well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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they will deny it, just like mine do. i just know that they love me, but i think they feel they need to protect (maybe not the right word) him more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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they never admit they favor one over the other. MIL favors my DD over BIL's Dd, it is hugely awkward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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My MIL favors younger BIL. it drives him insane, so he avoids her. MIL then calls DH to ask ? about BIL, and never asks about DH, our kids etc. She is creepy jealous of his fiancee as well. Sorry this happens to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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well, at least I don't have that problem! that sounds sucky too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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My MIL favors DH's older brother. It bothers me more than it bothers him, since he has learned to be independent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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MIL prefers one SIL plus her dd's. Its not too bad since she treats us like other SIL- invisible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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Yes, my parents favor me. I try not to be around them. They are totally unfair to my nieces and nephew, one of whom is Autistic. I really hate them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Repost: Has anyone adopted from NYC ACS? Any experiences that you can share? Were you a foster parent first? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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General Topics 10.30.08, 09:16 AM Flag
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General Topics 10.30.08, 09:22 AM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:22 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:24 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:36 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Croton-on-Hudson: I'm curring living in NYC with a 2 year old, want a 2nd child and don't think we can - or necessarily event want to - make the city thing work anymore. I keep reading great things about Croton-on-Hudson as a lefty, artsy, beautiful spot with a do-able commute, relatively affordable real estate, and good schools. The only thing that concerns me is frequent use of the word "crunchy." I guess many would consider me crunchy - I wear Birkenstocks (but also on occasion heels), eat mostly organic (but also love me a good steak), and work in nonprofit (albeit an cutting-edge media one). I realize it's silly to generalize an entire town, but would you say the general vibe in Croton is granola with some "funk" going on (ie, cool NYC exiles looking for a more balanced life) or is just plain ole granola. Catch my drift? I think I can live almost anywhere if I find the right community, and hoping this spot could be the right choice. TIA for any insight. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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You sound like more of the Maplewood/South Orange NJ type. I mean that in a very nice way since I live there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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ITA, I also love in Maplewood, it seems like you would like it here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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yes - it's a 'river town' in westchester so when ppl say crunchy - i think they mean it's kind of the opposite of a place like scarsdale/rye. does that make sense? it is beautiful, great commute, good schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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Larchmont or Mamaroneck in Westchester are more of the 'cool NYC types' place to be, but Croton is beautiful and the commute is not bad. There are certainly NYC exiles living there but not sure if they are the 'cool' ones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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Thanks. I've heard good things about Maplewood but our families are on Long Island so that isn't ideal for help w/the baby, etc. I know exactly what you mean by "not scarsdale/rye" (which sounds great) and we don't necessarily need to be in the coolest community on earth, but still want to feel a tiny bit hip in the burbs if at all possible! I forgot to mention that $$$ is a factor, so places like Larchmont are out. Thanks everyone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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there are some smaller houses in Mamaroneck that do not cost $$$, check out www.houlihanlawrence.com they have all the MLS listings with school districts and addresses so you can easily search for homes. Mamaroneck has two districts, which are both great (Mamaroneck and 'Rye Neck). Good luck with your search! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.29.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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Thanks. What's Mamaroneck like? I've never been there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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It is very nice and walkable(to station, schools, shops, playgrounds)depending on where you live. It is on the long island sound with a beautiful harbor, family friendly and somewhat diverse (more socio-economically and racially diverse than neighboring towns (Scarsdale, Rye and Larchmont), although still mostly middle class to upper upper class and white).The schools are great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:49 AM Flag
[ - ] Best sling for a newborn - esp. if I want to be able to breastfeed while out and not deal with a blanket/cover, etc. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.27.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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we just got a maya wrap type thing which was adjustable-I was able to nurse in it, put db in a bjorn like position. still use it occasionally for almost 2 yo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Why can't this guy just be friends with me? Why does he have to get bitter about me not wanting romance with him? So sick of that! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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Better question is, Why can't you just grow up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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What does be not wanting romance have to do with growing up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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Because OR below is right - he has enough friends, doesn't need another. He wanted a partner. And you don't need more friends either, it's just fun to keep around a guy who moons after you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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Because he has enough friends. He doesn't want to be your friend, especially now that you've rejected him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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Rejected is not the right word. There is a negative connotation with rejected. I wouldn't be able to make him happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:12 PM Flag
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are you not good in bed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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Not with men I'm not attracted to-no, as I would never want to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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I'm having that problem right now,too -- except that I didn't even reject him, he just misread me (and I only figured that out after the fact). In my case, our paths cross a lot and I'm hoping to fix things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:35 PM Flag
[ - ] And once again, I propose that next year the DOE places all the 97%+ in a hat and pick for citywides from that pile. Arguing between a 98% and a 99% is like splitting hairs. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.27.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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Why? Seems silly to make 97 an arbitrary cutoff, then. What about the 96s? I think it makes sense to go down percentiles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Well, you have to cut it off somewhere. Since the DOE had set the cutoff at 97% for citywides, let's start there. The 90%-95% can go into a hat for districtwides. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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90-96 and all the kids that lucked out in the 97+ range [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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it's all stupid. any kid who scores above 95 could probably score between 85 and 99 on any other day. I propose that the DOE immediately work on opening a citywide school in Brooklyn, and maybe on in Queens as well. Oh yeah, and how about sharing the actual G&T curriculum with the parents? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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np: My child was getting SB as part of a SN testing workup (he has speech/OT delays). He tested a 38 (yes, 38) the first time on one of them. Testers thought he was just having a bad day, retested again a few days later - 98. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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I think they should put all the 90+ , at least until they get a better test, but that is just me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Does anyone know what the publisher of the OLSAT says about that level of specificity in their test? I know that the Wikipedia entry says that it is less discreet at the higher range but there is no citation for that so I trust it only a little more than UB... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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why does it matter? The test is the test. It comes back with a number that more or less has something to do with school readiness and giftedness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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What the publisher says? The person who gets paid for it? The standard error of estimate for the OLSAT is 7.48 points. However, why it is not normally used for 4-year-olds is more complicated and I'm having a hard time finding a site that isn't closed to the general public (mom has access). If you want to research, check the following articles: Multivariate Validity of the Otis-Lennon Mental Ability Tests Primary I Level, "Investigations of the Otis-Lennon School Ability Test to Predict WISC-R Full Scale IQ for Referred Children", Otis-Lennon School Ability Test: Australian Criterion Validity . Sorry but real research is rarely google-able and NEVER comes from the company selling the product. Nobody's saying that the OLSAT doesn't have its uses, but it was never intended to be a stand-alone test. It is supposed to be a supplemental assessment, not a primary. The Stanford Binet has that advantage of being not entirely multiple-choice, and is generally the test of choice. http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/current_use.htm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:05 PM Flag
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if you happen to be watching, thanks. I'm off to read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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Agree that the olsat does not distinguish at the higher levels. there are 99s and there are 99s. I have a very gifted 99, but know others from our class who were obviously prepped to get the score, and are not at all advanced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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OLSAT has the lowest ceiling of any of the tests. Meaning, 99 on the OLSAT could be a 99, 98, or even 95 on another test that has a higher level of criteria. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:06 PM Flag
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I hope you realize how ridiculous you sound. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:45 PM Flag
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Doesn't sound ridiculous at all. That comment is based on sound psychological and educational research, published in major journals. There are true issues with the ceiling on the olsat. It was actually nice to see an informed post for once, rather than a generalizing one like yours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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The OLSAT has over a 7 point error margin. So arguing between a 93% and 99% is like splitting hairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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The cut-off has to be done somewhere. Nobody is arguing where the cut-off should be. We are argiung that once the cut-off is made every eligible child has the same chance to get into a citywide program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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Right, but I think her point is all these people who fear their dc will be dragged down in a district G&T by all those low 90s are being absurd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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It doesn't matter because next year, unless they modify the OLSAT and make it significantly harder than it was this year, more people will prep their kids for this test, and rather than having 447 99s, it'll be 800 99s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:49 PM Flag
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ita. there's no difference. they're all gifted. let them all have the same shot. the test is so flawed that there's absolutely no evidence 99s are any more gifted than 98s or 97s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:51 PM Flag
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I think the way they did it this year is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:55 PM Flag
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Because it worked for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.28.08, 05:51 AM Flag
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It actually worked just fin for the majority of people. It's just a handful of noisy folks. Read the comments on insideschools.org. It's a handful of DOE haters posting there regularly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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np. you really have no idea who it "worked" for and who it didn't. not all those people are posting on insideschools. the fact is, there's really no difference between a 99 and a 97 given how flawed the testing is. since they are all highly gifted by the doe's definition, the hat thing makes most sense imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 08:23 AM Flag
[ - ] I hate when the spray tan starts to fade and you are a little splotchy. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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Tans are trashy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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get a life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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totally spoils the oompa loompa effect [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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I hate when tans are new and orange. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for some advice. I had a few m/cs before dc, turned out I have a clotting problem and I also have a thyroid issue. I took heparin for the clotting and the thyroid thing was fine during pg, and the whole pg was uneventful and dc is fabulous. So...here's my q. I want to have #2 but have realized after recent check up that I really don't like the doc I had for #1. I'd like to change to the person in her practice who ended up delivering dc (he was on call) but am wondering if this is foolish given my issues since she has all the info/history on them. Anyone with thoughts? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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There is nothing wrong with switching within a practice. You have to pick who you feel most comfortable with. Trust me docs don't take this personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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These are not uncommon problems, so as long as you request your medical records, a new OB will be able to give you appropriate care. If you weren't happy, this is a good time to switch. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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the new doc is in the same practice, so would I even have to request them. I guess my other fear is that old ob will be on call this time and I'd be so embarrassed to have her deliver db! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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Well, that could happen - but I'm guessing by then you wouldn't really care anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I went a little out of my way to help a coworker who was trying to buy a coop in our building. In the end the were declined by the board but all along the way she never once said thanks etc. I just thought it would have been nice if someone had given us inside info on how to do this when we first were looking. For some reason I can't let it go. A simple email thank you would have been nice. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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maybe she is embarrassed that they were declined [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I don't think so really. This was a long process as anyone whos been through it knows and there were plenty of times before that I would have thanked someone if they were helping or sharing info with us. My DH is the one that pointed it out first. I guess I just was raised a certain way and finding now that so many people are really self motivated/involved here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:56 PM Flag
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this is probably true actually [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Ugh. I hear you, but I do think you have to let it go. It's bad behavior that they didn't say anything--should have done it during the process rather than wait until now to avoid this awkwardness after being rejected. Try to move on, though, since there's no point in not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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thanks. just makes me feel stupid I guess for being so nice to someone who is just a taker/climber. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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Yes, we've all felt that way. On the other hand, my guess is she didn't mean anything malicious by it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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I really think that you just have to decide that if you do something nice for someone, you should do it b/c you want to and not expect anything in return. Then, if they do say thanks, you are pleasantly surprised. But if they don't, you aren't bitter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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I'm not bitter. I think I'm just learning I have to hold back and not give too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:04 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the criteria for holding a child back in a grade in public school? Is it their Math/ELA scores? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.27.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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I think in K its emotional/social. K isn't even required so it can't be academic really. You don't get scores until 3rd grade, so I don't know how they decide to hold back a first or second grader. You HAVE to pass 3rd grade tests, or you CAN"T go to 4th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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So you have to pass both the ELA and Math? Or just either one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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I'm 98% postive its both, but could be wrong. That really isn't an issue we have personally faced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:04 PM Flag
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it depends, if a child failed one of the exams they can attend summer school and take the test over in Aug [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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usually a child has to score either a 1 on one or both of the citywide tests to be held over. for some reason the DOE thinks that a level 2 is passing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 01:11 PM Flag
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A child must meet grade level (number 3) in at least 80% of subjects [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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they need to acheive a level 2 or higher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:03 PM Flag
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They do not usually hold back in K, the criteria for K-2 is ECLAS and portfolios. once the child enters the testing grades it based all on the ELA and Math scores [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 03:02 PM Flag
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I believe I read in the regs that it was a variety of factors, such as attendance, homework, report card, to name a few. If you score a 1 on the standardized test you are mandated to go to summer school and take the citywide (as opposed to statewide) test. If you pass that and the former criteria was okay, you do get promoted to next grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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reality flash: very very rarely is a child held back. great pressure (despite bloomberg end to 'social promotion" to pass children forward. I can tell you that the principal of my elementary school (nyc public) is philosophically against holding kids back because she thinks it damages them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 06:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Friend put a wading pool on their 18th floor balcony for her kids? Wondering what others think about this? Something just seems wrong about it to me. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:33 PM Flag
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sounds fine to me, as long as she's out there with them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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What could possibly be wrong with that unless the parents are leaving the dc unattended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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that and also structurally is that the best thing for a balcony? A heavy pool filled with water? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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It's fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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um--it's designed to hold weight. If you couldn't something heavy on it the building would be in deep doo doo. Think how many people go out during a party. Also, a wading pool is not that heavy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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ITA, wading pool is nowhere near as heavy as the heavy planters with trees many people seem to have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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It must be just a kiddie pool if it's a balcony, you would have to have a bigger terrace for a real pool. We had a pool on our terrace past years (not this because of construction) and it was totally fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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oh no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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I'm thinking of the people down below if the thing topples over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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Exactly. OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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What could possibly be wrong with this? What is wrong with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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Feeling a little hostile today? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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i'm sorry you don't have a balcony [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.27.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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