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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] i'm a working mom who really just wants to quit and stay home, but can't due to financial reasons. very dissatisfied with current job and want to make a career change. how do i figure out my "dream job"? 108 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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If you really wanted to quit and stay home, you'd find a way. I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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np: Not everyone can stay at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Oh Jesus, it is NOT possible for everyone - get over yourself! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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I used to think that, too. Until we just did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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Wait...did you just say WE? As in you have a partner? Are you aware that not every parent is married? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Well, they OUGHT to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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Those stupid widows. What were they thinking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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You and I both know the vast majority of single parents are not widows ... they are single by CHOICE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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But OR implied that everyone can SAH. Not everyone can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Even many who HAVE partners. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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Of course they can. Where there's a will, there's a way. People do it all the time. I did it myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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So how do you propose that, say, the military widow that was here a few days ago, SAH? Robbing a bank while her dc nap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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We're not discussing widows. We're discussing people who are single by CHOICE, and couples who both CHOOSE to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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No. We are discussing the fact that not everyone can SAH. It's not fair to discount everyone who doesn't fit into your hypothesis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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Hey, do you want to pay my mortgage and for food for my family so that I can stay home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Don't forget health insurance. Some of us work for the benefits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Downsize into a mortgage you can afford. We did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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Maybe they don't have a mortgage. Maybe they are living in a small rental. Should they downsize to the street? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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I'm responding to the woman with a mortgage. Please keep up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Sorry. We are still waiting for your snarky response to the woman whose children aren't in daycare. We want to know who you think are raising them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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Apparently they're latchkey kids. So sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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Not even close. Actually, DH is with dc in the mornings before school. I pick them up from school and am with them in the afternoons. No childcare outside of the regular school day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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You really have no idea how people live, do you? No daycare=latchkey kids? That's moronic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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i was a latchkey kid. i am really strong bc of it--plus i thought it was fun. i even credit it for getting me into an ivy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Hey, we bought a middle income condo that if we applied today we would make 5K to much to qualify. We still need my job to pay the mortgage. We cannot downsize - except to a studio or to Kansas, but our jobs are specific to this area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Where there's a will, there's a way. It can be done. We did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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What did you do though? I WOH to support my parents. Did you evict your parents and tell them to care for themselves? I WOH for the health insurance. Did you sign you dc up for medicaid? What exactly did you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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We reduced our monthly expenses by downsizing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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LOL - not everyone has that option - you are hilarious! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Of course they do. Why wouldn't they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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Why doesn't everyone have the option to SAH? Because not everyone has one salary that will cover all of their expenses. Some families are low income, or middle income, and need two incomes to keep their heads above water. Or they have exceptional expenses like an elderly parent or a sick child with very high medical bills. Are you so pro-SAH that you have no idea of why people WOH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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It's all about reducing your expenses. It can be done. Most people, however, just don't WANT to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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OK. So I will tell my parents to move out of assisted living and onto the street. That will cut out my biggest expense. Then I can stop saving for retirement, so I can be a burden on my children. There's another. And finally, I will stop paying for that pesky health insurance and just HOPE that dc never get sick. Wow! That was easy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Why can't DH's salary handle all this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Assisted living for two adults is $60K. No tax benefits. That's already more than they average family makes in America. You would need to make about $100K just to cover this expense. On top of what it takes to provide for one's spouse and children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Medicare should pick up most of the cost of the assisted living for your parents. Most homes do not expect children to pick up the costs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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Medicaid or Medicare doesn't cover assited living. Who told you they do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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The government will not leave people destitute. If your parents really NEED the assistance, Medicare will find a way to pay for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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The government leaves people destitute all the time - what planet do you live on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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You are an idiot who knows nothing about government programs. Poverty is a huge problem amongst the elderly. Medicare does not "find" ways to house the elderly. It covers nursing care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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Yes, they do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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No, they don't. Assisted Living is not medical care. There is no medicare coverage. BTW: I hope your children are this kind to you one day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Then maybe they don't really *need* the assisted living. Maybe what they need is to be living with family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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ITTTA! So sad when adult children pawn off their parents by signing a monthly check, the way they do for thier kids with day care. Sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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So we are supposed to SAH, in houses large enough to house both our selves, our dc, our parents, and any nurses/aides our parents need, while our DH's work as many jobs as necessary to provide for everyone...right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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If you're SAH, you don't need nurses and aides. Silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Have you ever cared for children and the elderly at the same time? If I am abandoning my children by leaving them with their father for a few hours while I WOH, I would be abandoning them to care for my parents too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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You have never taken care a sick & elderly person have you? My Dad, who is retired, is doing it with my Grandmother now - she need someone there 24/7 - he can't do it all without hiring someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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ita. I cared for my parents at the end of their lives. My father actually set my kitchen on fire when turned my head for a minute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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So you do advocate me kicking my parents out of assisted living and telling them to find someplace else to live. Very nice. Heaven forbid I should work to help my parents, that would be an offense to family values everywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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No. I advocate you letting your parents live with you, so you can save money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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But I live in a two bedroom apartment with two dc. So if my parents were to move in, and I hired nurses or aides to help, we would need a bigger home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Maybe they don't want to! Maybe they live in a really small house/apt or a walk-up that elderly people cannot easily live in - also, even if they live with them - they will still have to pay for care - you are unbelievable! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Medicare covers nursing homes, not assisted living. And you have to require skilled nursing care in order to qualify. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Many CANNOT, and who gives a sh*t if some don't want to. They are being responsible by saving for retirement & making sure they would not be destitute in case of dh's death, or divorce & who says that having a fulltime SAH mom is always the best thing for dc. It often is not! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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If they don't WANT to, they should stop bellyaching about wishing they COULD stay home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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O [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I'm not seeing much complaining about wanting to SAH. I'm seeing a lot of posts about people who love to work and people who want to find work that is more rewarding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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OP WANTS to but CAN'T - there is a difference! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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omg. are you for real? stay in a crappy or abusive or demeaning or (fill-in-the-blank) marriage because one OUGHT to be? ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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We all make choices, hon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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hey, i'm the hon who is also a SAHM, but i do not share your disgusting, narrow-minded opinions. i feel sorry for your dc. AND dh. won't be surprised if i hear you're a single parent some day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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hopefully, your dh won't make a choice someday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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And when your husband chooses to leave you for someone else, what will your choice be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I really don't see that as a variable. Neither I nor DH made a bad choice in getting married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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You really never know - it happens in the most surprising cases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Sure you don't. No one ever sees it happening to them until they find themselves with three dc, a huge gap in their resume, and an empty bank account. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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That's what alimony and child are are for, dear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Men skip out on child support all the time. And alimony? You are 20 years too late. Now you get a little bit to tide you over until you get a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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df got divorced who was a SAHM & got NEITHER! Joint custody & expenses is the name of the game these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Ditto. She was expected to support herself and pay 1/2 of dc's expenses. DH supported himself and paid 1/2 of dc's expenses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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You're an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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Well if you can, clearly everyone can. Are you high? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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High on LIFE, hon. Life is fun when you don't have to work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Life is fun when you have a job you love, too. Life is also fun when you aren't worried about trivial things like buying food, funding your retirement, and potential layoffs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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EXACTLY. Life is fun when DH is at work, and DW is home taking care of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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That doesn't sound fun to me at all. I love working. I love the financial freedom it affords us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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Why did you have kids if you don't want to raise them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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I am raising them. Who do you think is raising them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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The strangers at the day care center? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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My dc aren't in daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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np- You are disgusting. Signed happy SAHM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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meanwhile, your dh is miserable being married to a woman who expects him to pull in all the bacon while she sits on her ass. i'm a SAH, btw, but i find interesting things to do, and i still work from home part time (because i find THAT fun). you sound like you just like to sit on your ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Silly. I'm busy raising kids and running the house. Very little sitting here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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eating brownies and melted peanut butter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Everyone is entitled to a treat now and then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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so you must be one of those posters who sit with her computer stuffing her face with ice cream and cackling when you write these tacky responses. I'm sure we're all so jealous of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Brownies and melted peanut butter, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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i knew it. fat-ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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I'm waiting for the plug to sell candles at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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There are some good psychological based career tests you can take [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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what are they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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I'm not sure of the names. I took a few in college and again in grad school. All pointed to the industry I am in now (banking) and the general role I have now (treasurer). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I think one is called the Strong Interest Inventory. Told me I should be a private investigator. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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those tests are a load of cr*p [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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No they aren [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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No, they aren't. The problem is that they are often administered too late. If you find out from the test that you were born to be an engineer in a manufacturing job, but you studied enlish in college...what good does it do you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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this comment is a load of crap. one, it is never too late. two, some tests can pinpoint types of jobs, not specific jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Of course it can be too late. If you can't afford to SAH, you certainly can't afford to go back to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Not necessarily true. You can go to school part-time and still work. Of course, it might not leave much time for the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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one shouldn't live one's life solely by the results but they can be helpful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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good luck... what do you like to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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thats the problem -- i have no idea. so lost in current career and making up for the time i'm not with my kid during the off hours. i don't know what i like anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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well, what did you love before kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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What are the parts of your current job that you like more or less? EG, organizing, talking to people, working with graphics, etc.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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what do you love? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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I was you 4 years ago. Pushed through. Interviewed, interviewed and interviewed. In a much better place and happy. Happy with balance and happy with what DH and I can provide our kids together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Forgot to click a region for my last post..where do I look for it now. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.07.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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general topics [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
[ - ] question about first time flying with 6mos old...to florida, would you take evening flight or first AM flight? Also, if i bring snugride, what do you do with the base? do they check the base at the gate? thx 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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just did this. go morning. was great. not 1st flight though, like a 9 oclock or something. brought carseat but left base home. you could check it though, im sure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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don't bring the base -- PITA, and car seat is actually safer without base. if it were me, I'd take morning flight b/c that's when I have more energy but it won't matter for db. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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i didnt mean the base, i meant the snap n go wheeled part [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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>>i always call that the base, will they check the snap n go at the gate? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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that they should be able to check at the gate like any other stroller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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oh. well, what we did was put the car seat in the stroller, while I carried db in baby bjorn, and then gate checked the stroller, so I gues you could do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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you can gate check the carseat and the wheels [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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First flight of the day. There are fewer delays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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does db have a seat? if so, bring car seat on baord and gate check wheely part. if no seat, gate check both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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i am debating b/c airfares are so high, but i think we are going to get the 3rd seat, thx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
[ - ] what are the rumors of jen garner and ben? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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He's gay, she's frustrated. End of story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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If I see it in US magazine, then it is true (seriously). Until then I will remain unsure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] pregnant with triplets and terrified - themore i sit on bedrest the more the fear grows 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.07.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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wow. how far along are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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6 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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I have not been there, but I think that the fear is completely rational. Will you be able to afford help after the babies are born? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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we fortunately are financially secure enough for this, we are trying to figure out what kind of help we will need considering we have a 7yo, 3yo and a dd who just turned 1 - we were trying for one more to even out the bunch and well, we went above and beyond the call of duty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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oh lord, that's a lot to handle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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yeah, it has been so difficult not being able to spend quality time with them before these three newborns take over, i feel awful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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did you do fertility treatments? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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no, it was natural, our doctor looked at us and just said - well, you sure evened out the family, you guys must work well together do you see this here - and this - and this - you're having triplets! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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wow. do you have enough space? i hope you aren't in NYC unless you are loaded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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we luckiyl moved out of nyc when i got pregnant with our third child [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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I would be freaked out too, but you sound really capable. What kind of help do you have now and what are you considering? I would have things lined up ahead of time. Do you know the genders? And has your ped talked to you about the steroid shots if they need to be delivered early? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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My cousins are triplets. Aside from their first words being "my turn". They are a totally normal family. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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wow, natural triplets, that is so rare! congratulations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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What's the fear of? You know you're a capable mom of 3 older kids. It will be a challenge, but I bet everything will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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That's terrifying and fantastic! God bless you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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oh my god -- are they all healthy so far? i would definitely have reduced at least down to twins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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np- good lord, what a comment! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Starting the process of using a donor egg. Have to go for all sort of tests, ie HIV, Hepatitis B and C, etc...why am I nervous about these??? My dh and I have no real long history of promiscuity but nonetheless...it makes me panicky. Anyone btdt? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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You'll be OK. I have had multiple needle sticks from Hep C & HIV patients and thankfully haven't contracted either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Those tests are very scary, you start thinking of dentist offices and all sorts of crazy shit. My DH and I are both cops, we have both come across needles, blood and tons of diseases, I still can't believe one of us hasn't got TB or Hepatitis. It's normal to fear those tests, because what if you are, it changes everything. But that said, I was fine, I'm sure you are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I was just getting 2.5 yo ds on track when it comes to bedtime after 6 months of torturing me. Now just back from vacation and it is worse than ever. Any helpful tips for keeping him in his bed without an hour of tears and going back and forth? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.07.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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the supernanny makes it look so easy... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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tell me about it. her technique is not working for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Stop going back in his room. This is the only way. It will get better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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but he gets out so I have to keep putting him back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Do you think you put him in a bed too early? Wondering this bec. my dc is close to this age & still in a crib [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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he started getting out of his crib at 23 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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np and we switched our ds at 20 mos with no problems. I think it's more about the kid than the age--some do it easily, others don't. Who knows why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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op - got easier when we switched to a bed - crib was a nightmare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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tell him you will close the door if he keeps coming out. Supernanny thing was terrible for me. Let him have a fit behind the door and then go in and calm him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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you are me. this used to work for me, but not since vacation. now he calms down and then starts screaming everything under the sun (his leg hurts, his hand hurts, he needs something, he doesn't want to sleep, etc, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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NP and I just went through a similar kind of phase w/my 2.5yo. It wasn't related to the crib/bed switch, but we'd also been on vacation and had been sitting with him until he fell asleep b/c we were in a bunch of new places. We sat the first few nights home, then went in a few times the next nights, and then, honestly, DH went away for 3 nights and I just let him scream and by the time DH got back it was over. DH is far wimpier abou this stuff, so I took the opportunity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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didn't he scream and get out of bed though? how did you eventually get him back in for good? I just had an hour long battle with him grappling every part of me so I couldn't get him in bed again - sweating now from the whole ordeal like you wouldn't believe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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I guess he did get out of bed, but I don't know b/c the nights DH was away I didn't go in at all. Whatever happened, he was in bed sleeping when I went in to check on him. If I was you I'd just stick ds on his bed, pry him off you--I had to do that, too--and walk out briskly, with big steps so he can't catch up! I know it sounds bad, but it worked for me. 3 nights. It's difficult to resist the urge to just sit and let them hold you, but honestly, even if your ds falls asleep on the floor you can scoop him into bed later and he won't remember in the morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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how did you keep him from opening the door? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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it has towels hanging on the knob on his side. he never even tried. this actually never occurred to me before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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just be firm and patient he will get back on track again. my ds tests bedtime like every 6 months it takes about 3wks to get back on track. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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I am pretty firm and VERY patient but this is the worst it has ever been. He is physically trying to stop me from picking him up and putting him back in bed and screaming every excuse I have heard of (very impressive array of them too). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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close the door and let him scream [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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hold it shut? until he falls asleep on the floor or when do I open again? I have tried this but open when he says he is ready to sleep. I'm a sucker [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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can he reach the knob/open the door? The important thing here is just to break the cycle somehow. the more you try to reason, be patient, the more he'll keep playing it out. You need to take a firm stand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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yes he can reach and he can open the door easily, so the only thing I can do is stand there and pull it shut while he tries to open it and screams. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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see above--don't worry about him being in bed. Either he'll realize you aren't coming back and get in himself, or pass out on the floor, which isn't the end of the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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I put a eye hook lock on the door so my ds knows that I can and will keep him in the room if I need to. I only used it once but the threat has fixed bedtime problems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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locking him in just seems so extreme and I keep thinking how I would feel if someone did that to me, so I'm probably too soft for this option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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it sounds cruel but all the emothional upest involed with screaming and running out of the room is worst- it just a way for you to gain control- i didn't leave it locked I waited 5 mins went back in and told him i would leave it lock if he came out again it worked [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Going through MFM practice at Northwestern-I only had one ultrasound at 20 weeks. Now I am 34 weeks and no US since. Does this seem strange? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Not at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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it's odd that you weren't offered one at 12 w for nucal translucency, but most don't have one after the 20 w mark. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
[ - ] would you start taking the pill to delay the onset of your period if it coincided with your 10 yr anniversary? we planned a nice wkend away, first time leaving dcs. i called my gyn but haven't heard back. TIA. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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no i wouldn't [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP: can i ask why? health reasons? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I was on the pill for several years, but I'm not crazy about the idea of pumping hormones into my body. I might do it for my wedding, but I can't imagine any other circumstances when I would do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Um, you're pumping hormones into your body with the pill on a regular basis. A few extra days won't add much to your estrogen load [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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yes, I know -- it's one of the reasons I decided to stop taking the pill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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then maybe you're not the best person to give advice, she wasn't asking about pros and cons of bc, she was just asking about this one weekend. If you haven't btdt, how would you know if it is ok or not? Are you a nurse/Dr? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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sure, why not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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I have "fiddled" w/ pill dosing a million times over the years for reasons like this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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definitely, I used to do it all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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have you done it before? if yes, go for it. if not, be careful b/c first time i did this i got killer cramps and totally messed up the weekend that I had wanted to avoid period for in the first place....just warning! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Op: yikes, thank you. i did take the pill for many years, but that was 7 years ago. I also took them while I was timing my ivf cycle. they didn't really affect me too much, but your story is something I will ask the dr. about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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wait, are you not on the pill now? When's the trip? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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I thought that you just meant to skip the placebos and go straight on to the next month pills. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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i am not on the pill now, that is why i am hesitant to start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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op^ forgot to mention the trip is in 4 weeks, and I just started my period today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Ask doctor I suppose, but I think that it may be too much of a pita. You never know how you're going to respond to various types of bc. My sis does horribly on some, but not other. If the doc gives you the ok, I would insist on the one you took before, b/c that way you know that there probably won't be a problem going on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there doulas covered by insurance? GHI specifically. I'm in Brooklyn 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Many moons ago when I was pregnant with dd & had GHI I looked into it & there was limited coverage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] I thought property taxes in NJ were less than Westchester. Just did a search for houses in about the 600-700K range in Westchester and Maplewood, NJ. Both are about 10-13K/year. What's going on? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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varies by town no matter where you are [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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agreed. Now check Millburn vs. Scarsdale. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 08:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone had bad back pain early in their pg? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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yes, try to lay down as much as possible with pillows around you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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I had the worst back pain of my life in my first trimester. It was so disabling. I am now 34 weeks and have not had any since [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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thanks. i can't bend or sraighten. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Did Nicole Kidmin have her baby? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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no, but Nicole Kidman did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:21 PM Flag
[ - ] did nicole kidmin have her baby 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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yes, named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban...6 pounds something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
[ - ] test 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] DH lost job in Dec., still isn't working. Now he's sinking into a depression. Horrible to say, but I am starting to hate him a little, as I am still working, caring for DBs, keeping house, etc. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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how much of the home/family has he taken on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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1 hr a day with toddler; cooks or buys dinner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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Who would HE says does laundry, shopping, cleaning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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he knows I do everything and feels guilty about it, which makes him more depressed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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So he should put on an apron, grab the Clorox and the Pine Sol, and get his ass in gear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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He agrees -- in theory. Then takes a nap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Start bringing your hot boss home. He'll turn his "theory" into action. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Why is he not working? Why is he not taking care of the house and kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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can't find the perfect job, too depressed to do anything except surf and game [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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Well, the "perfect" job may never come. Is he going to sponge off of you until Next Never? It's been 7 months. He needs to get his ass in gear, even if it's pouring lattes at Starbucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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ugh. I lost my job in December, too. Was lucky enough to find somehting in March, but even in that short time I was getting depressed. So, I can relate to his frustration, but it's not foing to get better if he can't get motivated. If he's not making his job search a FT gig, than he seriously needs to help around the house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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Dh lost job in April - I feel for you both. What field is he in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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finance. it's brutal out there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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us too. DH was in derivatives then moved to Asset Mangement. Has a big meeting tomorrow - I don't think I'll be able to breathe... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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Well, the firms are finally rightsizing. It's about time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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Your situation is so insidious because you have to support him but there are so many conflicting feelings. It is incredibly tough but it will end! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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Never thought I'd even contemplate divorce. Now I sort of fantasize about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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Just start hooking up with some really hot and rich men. Make sure they're interested in marriage before you get too emotionally involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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ITA. This is how affairs get started. Super Mom is disillusioned with Deadbeat Hubby, falls for Hunky Boss ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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So tempting. If only I had the time and energy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Start dressing sexier for work. Arrange for flowers to be delivered to you at home. This'll perk deadbeat DH right up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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