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07.07.08, 18:26 PM General Topics
108 replies
i'm a working mom who really just wants to quit and stay home, but can't due to financial reasons. very dissatisfied with current job and want to make a career change. how do i figure out my "dream job"? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
 

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If you really wanted to quit and stay home, you'd find a way. I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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np: Not everyone can stay at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Oh Jesus, it is NOT possible for everyone - get over yourself! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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I used to think that, too. Until we just did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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Wait...did you just say WE? As in you have a partner? Are you aware that not every parent is married? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Well, they OUGHT to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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Those stupid widows. What were they thinking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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You and I both know the vast majority of single parents are not widows ... they are single by CHOICE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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But OR implied that everyone can SAH. Not everyone can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Even many who HAVE partners. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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Of course they can. Where there's a will, there's a way. People do it all the time. I did it myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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So how do you propose that, say, the military widow that was here a few days ago, SAH? Robbing a bank while her dc nap? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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We're not discussing widows. We're discussing people who are single by CHOICE, and couples who both CHOOSE to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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No. We are discussing the fact that not everyone can SAH. It's not fair to discount everyone who doesn't fit into your hypothesis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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Hey, do you want to pay my mortgage and for food for my family so that I can stay home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Don't forget health insurance. Some of us work for the benefits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Downsize into a mortgage you can afford. We did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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Maybe they don't have a mortgage. Maybe they are living in a small rental. Should they downsize to the street? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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I'm responding to the woman with a mortgage. Please keep up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Sorry. We are still waiting for your snarky response to the woman whose children aren't in daycare. We want to know who you think are raising them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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Apparently they're latchkey kids. So sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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Not even close. Actually, DH is with dc in the mornings before school. I pick them up from school and am with them in the afternoons. No childcare outside of the regular school day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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You really have no idea how people live, do you? No daycare=latchkey kids? That's moronic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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i was a latchkey kid. i am really strong bc of it--plus i thought it was fun. i even credit it for getting me into an ivy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Hey, we bought a middle income condo that if we applied today we would make 5K to much to qualify. We still need my job to pay the mortgage. We cannot downsize - except to a studio or to Kansas, but our jobs are specific to this area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Where there's a will, there's a way. It can be done. We did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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What did you do though? I WOH to support my parents. Did you evict your parents and tell them to care for themselves? I WOH for the health insurance. Did you sign you dc up for medicaid? What exactly did you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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We reduced our monthly expenses by downsizing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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LOL - not everyone has that option - you are hilarious! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Of course they do. Why wouldn't they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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Why doesn't everyone have the option to SAH? Because not everyone has one salary that will cover all of their expenses. Some families are low income, or middle income, and need two incomes to keep their heads above water. Or they have exceptional expenses like an elderly parent or a sick child with very high medical bills. Are you so pro-SAH that you have no idea of why people WOH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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It's all about reducing your expenses. It can be done. Most people, however, just don't WANT to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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OK. So I will tell my parents to move out of assisted living and onto the street. That will cut out my biggest expense. Then I can stop saving for retirement, so I can be a burden on my children. There's another. And finally, I will stop paying for that pesky health insurance and just HOPE that dc never get sick. Wow! That was easy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Why can't DH's salary handle all this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Assisted living for two adults is $60K. No tax benefits. That's already more than they average family makes in America. You would need to make about $100K just to cover this expense. On top of what it takes to provide for one's spouse and children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Medicare should pick up most of the cost of the assisted living for your parents. Most homes do not expect children to pick up the costs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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Medicaid or Medicare doesn't cover assited living. Who told you they do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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The government will not leave people destitute. If your parents really NEED the assistance, Medicare will find a way to pay for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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The government leaves people destitute all the time - what planet do you live on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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You are an idiot who knows nothing about government programs. Poverty is a huge problem amongst the elderly. Medicare does not "find" ways to house the elderly. It covers nursing care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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Yes, they do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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No, they don't. Assisted Living is not medical care. There is no medicare coverage. BTW: I hope your children are this kind to you one day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Then maybe they don't really *need* the assisted living. Maybe what they need is to be living with family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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ITTTA! So sad when adult children pawn off their parents by signing a monthly check, the way they do for thier kids with day care. Sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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So we are supposed to SAH, in houses large enough to house both our selves, our dc, our parents, and any nurses/aides our parents need, while our DH's work as many jobs as necessary to provide for everyone...right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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If you're SAH, you don't need nurses and aides. Silly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Have you ever cared for children and the elderly at the same time? If I am abandoning my children by leaving them with their father for a few hours while I WOH, I would be abandoning them to care for my parents too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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You have never taken care a sick & elderly person have you? My Dad, who is retired, is doing it with my Grandmother now - she need someone there 24/7 - he can't do it all without hiring someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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ita. I cared for my parents at the end of their lives. My father actually set my kitchen on fire when turned my head for a minute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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So you do advocate me kicking my parents out of assisted living and telling them to find someplace else to live. Very nice. Heaven forbid I should work to help my parents, that would be an offense to family values everywhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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No. I advocate you letting your parents live with you, so you can save money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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But I live in a two bedroom apartment with two dc. So if my parents were to move in, and I hired nurses or aides to help, we would need a bigger home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Maybe they don't want to! Maybe they live in a really small house/apt or a walk-up that elderly people cannot easily live in - also, even if they live with them - they will still have to pay for care - you are unbelievable! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Medicare covers nursing homes, not assisted living. And you have to require skilled nursing care in order to qualify. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Many CANNOT, and who gives a sh*t if some don't want to. They are being responsible by saving for retirement & making sure they would not be destitute in case of dh's death, or divorce & who says that having a fulltime SAH mom is always the best thing for dc. It often is not! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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If they don't WANT to, they should stop bellyaching about wishing they COULD stay home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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O [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I'm not seeing much complaining about wanting to SAH. I'm seeing a lot of posts about people who love to work and people who want to find work that is more rewarding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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OP WANTS to but CAN'T - there is a difference! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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omg. are you for real? stay in a crappy or abusive or demeaning or (fill-in-the-blank) marriage because one OUGHT to be? ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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We all make choices, hon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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hey, i'm the hon who is also a SAHM, but i do not share your disgusting, narrow-minded opinions. i feel sorry for your dc. AND dh. won't be surprised if i hear you're a single parent some day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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hopefully, your dh won't make a choice someday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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And when your husband chooses to leave you for someone else, what will your choice be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I really don't see that as a variable. Neither I nor DH made a bad choice in getting married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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You really never know - it happens in the most surprising cases. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Sure you don't. No one ever sees it happening to them until they find themselves with three dc, a huge gap in their resume, and an empty bank account. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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That's what alimony and child are are for, dear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Men skip out on child support all the time. And alimony? You are 20 years too late. Now you get a little bit to tide you over until you get a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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df got divorced who was a SAHM & got NEITHER! Joint custody & expenses is the name of the game these days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Ditto. She was expected to support herself and pay 1/2 of dc's expenses. DH supported himself and paid 1/2 of dc's expenses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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You're an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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Well if you can, clearly everyone can. Are you high? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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High on LIFE, hon. Life is fun when you don't have to work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Life is fun when you have a job you love, too. Life is also fun when you aren't worried about trivial things like buying food, funding your retirement, and potential layoffs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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EXACTLY. Life is fun when DH is at work, and DW is home taking care of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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That doesn't sound fun to me at all. I love working. I love the financial freedom it affords us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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Why did you have kids if you don't want to raise them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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I am raising them. Who do you think is raising them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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The strangers at the day care center? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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My dc aren't in daycare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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np- You are disgusting. Signed happy SAHM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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meanwhile, your dh is miserable being married to a woman who expects him to pull in all the bacon while she sits on her ass. i'm a SAH, btw, but i find interesting things to do, and i still work from home part time (because i find THAT fun). you sound like you just like to sit on your ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Silly. I'm busy raising kids and running the house. Very little sitting here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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eating brownies and melted peanut butter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Everyone is entitled to a treat now and then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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so you must be one of those posters who sit with her computer stuffing her face with ice cream and cackling when you write these tacky responses. I'm sure we're all so jealous of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Brownies and melted peanut butter, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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i knew it. fat-ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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I'm waiting for the plug to sell candles at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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There are some good psychological based career tests you can take [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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what are they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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I'm not sure of the names. I took a few in college and again in grad school. All pointed to the industry I am in now (banking) and the general role I have now (treasurer). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I think one is called the Strong Interest Inventory. Told me I should be a private investigator. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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those tests are a load of cr*p [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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No they aren [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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No, they aren't. The problem is that they are often administered too late. If you find out from the test that you were born to be an engineer in a manufacturing job, but you studied enlish in college...what good does it do you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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this comment is a load of crap. one, it is never too late. two, some tests can pinpoint types of jobs, not specific jobs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Of course it can be too late. If you can't afford to SAH, you certainly can't afford to go back to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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Not necessarily true. You can go to school part-time and still work. Of course, it might not leave much time for the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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one shouldn't live one's life solely by the results but they can be helpful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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good luck... what do you like to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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thats the problem -- i have no idea. so lost in current career and making up for the time i'm not with my kid during the off hours. i don't know what i like anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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well, what did you love before kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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What are the parts of your current job that you like more or less? EG, organizing, talking to people, working with graphics, etc.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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what do you love? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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I was you 4 years ago. Pushed through. Interviewed, interviewed and interviewed. In a much better place and happy. Happy with balance and happy with what DH and I can provide our kids together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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