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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Is this normal behavior for a 7-8 yo boy? ds (who's 4yo...I also have 11mo) plays with neighbor's son who's 7 or 8 and when he's over he says/does things i find annoying...e.g. when they're playing outside together in either our yard or his, he'll walk into our house without knocking to use our bathroom, get a drink or ask for a snack (he lives next door and his mom is sah too), he'll ask to stay for lunch/dinner each time, ask for specific toy gifts for his birthday, try to get into rooms that are off limit, peek in our window to see what we're doing, etc. I usually try to laugh it off because ds likes his company but was curious to know if this is normal behavior for boy his age. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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some of it sounds normal (asking for a drink or snack). some doesn't. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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This is our neighbor kids!!! Little kids don't seem to have a good concept of social boundaries, they don't get that it would be rude for you to be a bad host and send them home, they don't think about the fact that they are eating your food and not reciprocating, so they assume its all OK. We bought a house that came with a swing set and we have a friendly fluffy fun dog and do a lot of loud outdoor rennovation projects. We have 2 kids next door who invite themselves over into our bigger more interesting yard and then their friends end up over too!! I'm pg but we don't even have kids! The parents have tried to add limits and it seems to be working a little(don't just walk inside, OK, you have to come home now, stop asking the neighbors for food...). You have to be blunt with how a kid should act, they aren't going to get the hints. I think some kids think other ppl are more interesting/cool than their family is. At least the kids walk our dog to the park for us. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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Most of what you are describing is just bad manners - attributable to his parents or just being a kid. One thing I learned though is that when your children are small any kid a few years older appears tougher/louder/crazier than yours - and then your kids will be that age and you will realize you were being silly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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P.S. - my 7 year old son would NEVER want to play with a 4 year old - thats the part that seems odd btw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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oh for crying out loud. I played with the children who lived next door and there was a three year gap too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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if there aren't a lot of kids in the neighborhood you get less picky. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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op: i suspect he's always over because there are no other children to play with in the area. i suspect he'll one day realize he doesn't want to play with my 4yo and ds will be crushed. he totally looks up to him and asks about him constantly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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Exactly. My 7 you with play with her 3 yo brother when there is no other option. If there are older kids around, forget about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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there are annoying people of all ages, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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his mom probably sends him over to get him out of her hair. I used to have a neighbor girl, before kids, who would just show up in my yard and want to chat. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:32 PM Flag
[ - ] ds erbs: 99 v, 38 p, 86 overall. Is it totally hopeless? We can explain some contributing factors, and he'll get a great school report, but it's not like he was sick when he took the test or something. Anyone able to offer any experiences that might give me hope? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.11.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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Does he have learning disability? I am afraid any private school will consider him. But Dwight has QUEST program for kids with LD, I think. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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no LD, and all subtests were in normal zone [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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my dc had v 99 and p 76, with overall 95. got in to a few schools, but none tt, even though w/l'd (high w/l in some cases). He was just not developmentally at the same level with visuospatial vs verbal stuff. We later had him tested to follow up and make sure it was purely a developmental issue, and he scored 99x3. could kick myself for testing him as a young 4, but he was so verbal and bright, I did not think it would be an issue. verbal scores all at the top of what was possible so it brought up the score. luckily, most of these splits are just developmental. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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np: why kicking yourself? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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guess I should have prepped him a bit (he can be reluctant to try new things) and think I scheduled it wrong, maybe should have waited until he was older [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:27 PM Flag
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you are welcome. GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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my dc just tested as a young 4 in late spring- the school agreed he was ready- and also had high verbal and low visuospatial score. is this in and of itself an indication a child should wait another year to apply? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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OP: related Q, would you bother trying to apply to privates, or skip process and put ds in K now? He is fall b-day, so if we apply and get shut-out he'll have to go straight into 1st grade. Zoned school is PS6, which seems very good, but am worried that he won't get the support there that he could use, and I wanted to at least take a shot at privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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this is totally 3d hand or owrse, but 6 has i think a good reputation for helping LD or similar kids. he'd probably get good support. ( [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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np Is it a given that this type of score, on a test taken only once, warrants "support"? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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of course not. but OP is concerned that it might. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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why not do both? put him in ps6 and appy to privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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definitely. ps6 is the one public school that is very good about participating in the private school application process. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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poster above with split: Depends on whether you really want private. Given that he is a fall birthday dc, I would put him in public for a year, re-test and try when he is 5. I think all these people want you to believe he has an LD, but it is much more likely to be developmental. I think public k is very academic, and will be better prep, plus you will not have the record of these not so great scores clouding the picture down the road. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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np: She can't have him retested for K entry, they need to apply this fall and since ds just took the ERBs he can't take them again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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misunderstood. thought she was applying for preK with fall ds. applying for K next year and public this year. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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DF with very verbal, poised DD has very similar split (>50 pt gap between verbal and performance) and they were SO even though they applied very broadly from TT to 3rd tier, etc. (scores came in late). Overall score was well within acceptable levels for many of her schools but schools were likely concerned with huge gap. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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This could well happen, which is why OP should seriously consider sending ds to PS6 and apply to privates from there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:16 PM Flag
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np: ITTTA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:56 PM Flag
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NNP: DC had a very similar split a few years back. Accepted at one school, WL at 4, dinged at 4. Flourishing in local public, not 6, but D2 gen'l ed. I would definitely send DC to public K, especially if it's a good one like 6. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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this shows how insane it is to test such a small child. ps6 is supposed to be so great, so you have a great fallback. i can't tell if you think he knows all of those performance things or not. what are the contributing factors? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 09:17 PM Flag
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They all get a great school report, Next! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 04:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Can someone pls help me with a food allergy issue? We just had dd (3.5) tested for allergies b/c of a reaction she had to one thing. Results came back and showed elevated levels for a huge list, including milk and eggs (which she has daily with no reaction). Ped is sending us to an allergist for confirmation. Is it possible she's been allergic all her life with no reaction? I'm getting nervous now. Thanks. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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Unlikely, and if she is allergic she probably won't have . I have been tested repeatedly and been found allergic to a whole slough of things I eat regularly, and have never had an adverse reaction (the only potential thing I have is a large amount of mild headaches) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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I'm sorry - I'm not following well today! - you mean, unlikely that she's allergic? I don't know whether to keep giving her milk in the meantime. Doctor's office was not very helpful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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If she is "allergic" she may never have a rxn. Keep giving her milk if she's been having it for 2.5 years (I assume, approx) and has had no reactions. Same for everything else. What did she have a reaction to? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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She had a reaction to apples, which is why I asked them to run the test. We didn't expect the rest. What is an RXN? Thanks for your responses.... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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^^^Ah, I got it -- reaction. Is it dangerous to keep giving it, though? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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no, not at all. I "am allergic" to milk, eggs, strawberries, cherries, beets (basically anything red), soy, corn and wheat - and I eat all those things in abundance. Never had any problems. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I guess it depends on the level, then, maybe? We'll make an appt with an allergist, but in the meantime, I was confused about what to do. Thanks again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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no problem. Basically, if you child has been eating/drinking those things for years with no problems you don't have to worry. So many people immediately pull EVERYTHING a kid tests allergies to, and they end up being able to eat nothing at all [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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That was my fear exactly. And my ped tends to be alarmist about things (we have been sent to 4 specialists in 4 months for newborn baby, and each time it was a non-issue). So I feel like I need to take their comments with a grain of salt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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yes, absolutely. keep giving your dd whatever she has been having, and don't worry too much. Lots of allergies are false positives - and a slight red rash around the mouth isn't too much to worry about (I get one from mangoes because of their skin - try taking it off and seeing what happens). Unlikely to develop a worse allergy. Good luck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Thanks so much! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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yw. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:07 PM Flag
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I have a friend allergic to apples - it is the pectin. She is also allergic to mangoes, so you might be careful with those. What type of rxn? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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What is pectin? My dd has a slight red rash around the mouth when eating apples, but not when drinking apple juice. I guess b/c the juice is processed it's ok? She seems to do fine with mango, but thanks for the tip - I'll ask about that, too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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Yep, that's what it is. Pectin is a component of apples (and other fruits, oranges, carrots, etc) that contributes to firmness, it is also used as a gelling agent for jams and jellies, etc. and a source of fiber. That being said, she could be allergic only to apples and nothing else [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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It's the only thing she's ever had a reaction to. That, and ginger, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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similar rxn? ginger is "spicy" so that a whole different thing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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^^^ and sorry my or wasn't clear... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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food allergy tests have are notoriously high false positive rates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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How interesting. So will a visit with the allergist for skin testing be more accurate? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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not necessarily. If dd's rxn isn't serious I wouldn't bother [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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OR: (above is np) every time you retest your probability of false positive goes down. I would imagine that different tests have different false positive rates. See the allergist. If you leave unsatisfied, get a second opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Give me some of the benefits of sleep training, please. We're going to start this weekend. Pediatrician gave us the go-ahead, and strongly encourages it. Is it ok to do sleep training for naps and nightime sleep at the same time? Would it be confusing to do it separately (like weeks apart)? TIA. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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the benefit is better sleep, if you are having problems with that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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Yeah, dc is resisting sleep, hard to put down, waking up throughout the night and having trouble napping. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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How old is your baby? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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5.5 months [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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you can do it separately no problem. Personally I would start with night as it is easiest for baby to understand the cues. Night and day sleep habits are different. However apparently baby who sleeps better during the day will be easier at night too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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I agree, we started with just night, in fact we never really had to do it for naps, he naturally got better with those over time. Plus not to scare you but if you have had a tough night with the sleep training it is just too exhausting to start it all over again with naps. Benefits are we went from getting up every 2-3 hours to a dc who sleeps from 8-7. BUT, be prepared, if you are doing CIO it is one of the hardest things you will ever do. And in my experience it took longer than our ped said it would. Good luck and post back if you need support! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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why is this any of the pediatrician's business? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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a benefit is that your db will learn that you do not come when he needs you. then he'll stop looking for you all the dang time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:00 PM Flag
[ - ] POLL: How much do I pay a babysitter per hour? New to this. We have 2 young dds. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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where are you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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OP: What does that matter? btw, I live in Little Rock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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it makes a big difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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OP: OK. So, for Little Rock, Arkansas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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I have no idea, but I imagine less than the $15 avg in NYC. What age/experience of sitter are we talking about too? I would say $10-12/hour depending on that, for 2 young kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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She is a college student that does this on the side for extra $$ [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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pay what your sil pays her [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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I don't think she pays enough. I will add a few bucks per hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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No - you cannot do this. That will make the sitter want to work for you "more" than your sil, and that is not fair to your sil, who is doing you a favor by giving you a good sitter's name and info. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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What does it matter? Every heard of markets? Prices are different in different markets. What you pay in NYC will not be the same as what you pay in Little Rock. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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OP: Gotcha. So, for Little Rock I think it's $10 an hour...according to my bff [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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bff? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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best friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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babysitter, or nanny? when i use a sitter, we pay 15/hour for 2 kids, but neither is a baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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OP: MY dds are 3 yrs and the other is one yr. So, sitter? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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no, is this an f/t employee or a sometime sitter. the 15 rate is when i have a siter, not for my nanny. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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no, just a sitter my sil uses [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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what does your sil pay? unless you have more kids or younger, you should pay the same - that is the fair way to share a friend's sitter [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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I need to ask her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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^^oh, i see you are not in NYC. then probably 15 is too high. ask around. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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OP: My sil pays her $10 an hour [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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so why not pay that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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OP: Gotcha [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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$10 is the going rate in St. Louis, I doubt that Little Rock is higher. $10 is fine and more than they are going to make at Starbucks, etc. in that area. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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I give my HS neighbor $10/hr for 1 easy dc. I pay college sitters $12-13/hr and my nanny charges $15/hr. I HAVE paid a college sitter $20/hr when I was in a real bind, but that is really too much IMO. I think I might pay my HS sitter a little more for 2 dcs, but my nanny doesn't charge more for 2 than for 1. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:07 PM Flag
[ - ] I had a CVS two days ago and still have some cramping and my stomach feels sore. Is this normal? TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 07.11.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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call your doctor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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I think it's normal. I had period like cramping and bleeding for a good week after--and my doctor told me it was normal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:56 PM Flag
[ - ] I just discovered that if I yell at my 3 year old his behaviors get worst and if I ask him nicely and give him lots of praise he behaves like an angel. Why couldn't I have firgued this out earlier. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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That'll work for about three weeks then they trick you again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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Right - ever-changing [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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that's amazing. you should write a book. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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Deceptively Delicious? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Slate has an ad that says Obama's IQ is 125. That seems kinda low to be honest to be admitted to Harvard Law and become the editor of Law Review there. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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then again, to be an editor there, you have to be elected. If he was popular with minimum grades to be in the "race" maybe people voted for him bec he was likeable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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you have to be on review to get elected. and for that you need good grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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You can have excellent grades with IQ of 125 or even quite a bit lower. Inversely, some people with very high IQs have very lousy grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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And it is not like 125 is low, it is well above average & with hard work & ambition that is really all you need. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 04:12 PM Flag
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I doubt it was hard for Obama to get good grades from liberal Harvard law professors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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The most successful people in America have IQs in the 125-135 range. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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then how do you explain Bush, who's got to be in the 90-105 range. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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rich white male affirmative action, i.e., legacy status [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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i wouldn't call him a success exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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plus whatever he has achieved in his life is due to his family status, wealth and connections, not based on his own merit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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one counter-example does't mean the point isnt' generally true. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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how does anyone know what his IQ is? (including him. not everyone takes IQ tests.) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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plenty of people with above average but not super high IQs do very well academically. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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What is there source for that number? And how does it compare to McCain? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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1. i'd like to see the "proof" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 03:54 PM Flag
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probably 40 pints higher than McCain's [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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or points [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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Yes, but his OLSATs qualified him for citywides. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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Did Obama release his LSAT scores? That would be very interesting. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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You have to be freaking kidding me. LSAT scores??? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 04:48 PM Flag
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factor in his emotional intelligence,too. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 03:24 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 05:10 PM Flag
[ - ] I feel like a terrible mother, I am always yelling at my 2.5yo while I am taking care of 9wk old. Telling him not to do this or that...I have turned into my biggest nightmare 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Give yourself a break its just a stressful time. Make sure you spend special time with older one while nb is sleeping. My baby is 6 months now and our lives have totally evened out for the better I LOVE having two and they love each other. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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I know, but I feel so sorry for him. I am out of control sometimes I just want to cry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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np. my #2 dc is 9mo and things haven't improved yet! I love having two but not when #1 is attacking #2. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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I love having two, and the older one is very good with the newborn, but sometimes he pushes him too hard or hits him, and I know he doesn't mean it, but ughhhhh [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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lighten up on yourself, you are in the hardest part, hire more help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Me too. My ds has turned into a terror since dc #2 arrived. I seem to do nothing but tell him to stop doing whatever it is he is doing especially when it involves hurting his brother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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I was such a monster those first few weeks. I told my 2 year old he would have to live somewhere else if kept trying to pick-up/sit on/ smack the baby. The guilt kills you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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good to know I am not alone, the guilt is killing me, and I keep feeling like such a bad mother. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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glad to hear I am not the only one. I thought I was more patient than this, and I've been wondering if I should go back to work so I don't have to be so mean [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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give it time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Relax - you're human. Taking care of a 2.5 yo and a 9 wk old at the same time is hard - cut yourself some slack [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
[ - ] How do Westchester and Northern NJ handle public school cut-offs? I have Oct. ds, and I would prefer that he spend another year in nursery school before he starts K. (He was born 5 wks early, and he is small and a little on the immature side still.) But NYC doesn't allow you to do that. If I move to the burbs, can I enroll him in Kindergarten when he is 5 going on 6, or will I have the same problem and be forced to enroll him in first grade? I appreciate any advice you might have. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 07.11.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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I'm rpetty sure that outside of NYC, the rules for holding back are much easier. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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Most districts in Westchester let you redshirt at will, at least that's what my co-workers living there have told me. Not sure about NJ, but I thought their cut-off is Oct 1st. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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I know people who hold back in Millburn, NJ. The cut off is the end of September and many parents hold back september kids who would still be 4 when school starts. LArgely up to the parents. Not sure about any other towns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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There are some private preschools that have a class for 5 year olds, likely for the reason you describe (so dc can go to private K with earlier cut off). Beth Elohim in Park Slope does. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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I wanted to hold my smallish, early, immature Nov boy back. But the zoned pre-K teacher said when we met her, "Give it a try." Well, two years later... thank god! DS is rocking in school and loving it. He is so much better off. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone share information on Manhattan Country School? It sounds interesting to me, but I don't know anyone who sends their children there. Thanks 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
NY Schools 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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Friend has DS there. Really likes the school but says small class size may prove to be a negative down the road. Loves the farm aspect outside of the city and the diverse student body. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:30 AM Flag
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Lovely warm atmosphere. No learning going on. 6th grade work on walls looked like 4th grade work elsewhere. They shouldn't even call themselves a school imo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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np Your comment about 6th grade work looking like 4th grade work elsewhere is WAY too generous an assessment. My dc took a class there and I was truly shocked at the crappy work posted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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We didn't end up applying, but I really liked the farm program and diversity. On their old site, they listed their exmissions and they list wasn't great. On the new site (which went up last fall), they don't post the list, but include a somewhat vague statement and a "for example" list of decent public and privates. I was also concerned about the small class size. They have a sliding tuition scale. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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It strikes me as the kind of school that attracts a unique student body who are probably looking for other things first and foremost and that a "top academic experience" is farther down the list. Therefore their exmissions are not going to be comparable to other NYC privates. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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exmissions a tough thing to measure at a k-8 school where HS experience probably weighs on exmissions more than lower/middle school experience. HS's on MCS sample list impressive IMO. No worse than Town School (another coed k-8). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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no, i meant exmission to HS not to college. but i think what i said would be true of both where they go to HS AND later college. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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preK-8 and alot of kids enter at preK not K. ERB not required until later grades. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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But they ask to see the score if your child takes the ERB. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 09:13 PM Flag
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MCS grads seem to possess a genuine openness, are comfortable with responsibility and generally have a strong sense of community. I would contest the notion that it is an academically inferior curriculum; tremendously nurturing, MCS emphasizes risk taking and self-confidence, while fostering interdependence among students and the school community. MCS isn't 'fancy' but it is very consistent and terrific for families, whom value a strong, socially involved environment. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 09:54 PM Flag
[ - ] I think I'm Prego even though I've gotten 4 negative preg tests and some spotting. 3 days late. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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You're not, sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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call ob; get a bloodtest [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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Probably not, btdt. It may have been a chemical pregnancy, but don't get your hopes up too much for a viable one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:30 AM Flag
[ - ] I just had the most delicious salsa! Scallions, tomatoes, jalapeno peppers and cilantro. MMMM! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Toddler 07.11.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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watch out for the salmonella [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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I was wondering how long it would take for someone to get the joke. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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It was not funny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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OR - it was a little funny.... people are really insanely crazy about the salmonella thing. I was picking tomatoes from my own garden this morning and my neighbor told me not to eat them because of it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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wow [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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I am eating said salsa regardless (this post is actually true, signed Eating Burritoville) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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I see... good luck (I am pretty sure by now all restaurants -esp chains - are monitoring their supplies very carefully and its unlikely that you'll get ill) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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What the hell do you think your neighbor has been doing in your garden? That scary bitch! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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lol - nothing... its actually my balcony off my bedroom, but I have a lot of containers out there in a container garden... I doubt she can access it (and we're very good friends, she's just clueless) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Okay: If you were in a horrible relationship for 10 years and was about to leave, and felt no love for about half of that and you're not married, would you have a sexual relationship with a CLOSE friend of 16 years if it would not cause any complications? 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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Just leave! Stop complicating your situation further. Leave your SO THEN sleep with your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I've tried to leave, "dh" is making it very difficult- I'm planning to leave asap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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^^in the waiting time, I want to be loved again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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just walk out. I totally did. if you are serious about leaving then leave. you clearly need him for somehting ($$ I assume). cheating on him will make everything worse but I feel you are one of those women who love drama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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I so do not like drama at all, just want to feel good again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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You'll "feel better" if you wait and get out of relationship #1 before starting a new one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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I don't want a new relationship, just physical pleasure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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that is as bad... maybe worse. haven't you ever heard of pleasuring yourself if that is all you want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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Then just get out of your current situation before you get into another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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No, I would leave first because it WOULD cause complications. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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such as? I'm only asking because I feel deeply for this person and kind of neglected and I can't think straight about it. We have talked about just meeting a few times with no other strings attached. I trust this person deeply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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if you are in NY it is not a no-fault state, and an affair could really hurt you in divorce procedings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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I'm not married to begin with. We never got married. We have two children together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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Then leave the jerk and move on. Walk out. Custody could be a difficult thing if you're not married and you have an affair regardless. I assume you want custody of your kids, which may be incorrect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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I want to share custody with him. "dh" has been told by several psych. that he needs meds for issues and therapy and he refuses. Do you think that my fling will be worse than that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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Yes, and to any judge it will be seen that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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IDA, if the dh needs meds and therapy and refuses, and they are not married, it is very tricky to place blame [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Her having an affair would not help her case. It might make someone judge her as reckless and her kids would end up in the system because neither parent is fit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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no. 1st b/c you need to resolve and heal from the ex before you can develop something good with the friends. 2nd b/c in some states there is a probationary separation and starting a new relationship could hurt you in any legal proceedings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:24 AM Flag
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I've resolved and healed a while ago. this has been a long time coming. We are not married, how would this hurt me legally? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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speak to a lawyer, you need to, and you need to LEAVE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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You are very young aren't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Then you lack judgement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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You would too in my situation. Try not to judge, your not in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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You've laid out a bizarre situation where you are clinging to a dysfunctional man in a dysfunctional relationship without any legal partnership and now you want to shag some guy because he looked at you twice? If you claim to have good judgement then I can only chalk your poor life choices up to stupidity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Nice. That some guy is a friend that I've been close with for more than half of my lifetime. Good try though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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but all you want to do is have sex with him, that is a big part of what's wrong (np) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Well right now since I'm in a situation, yes I want to have sex with him. I have not yet, but I really want to be close with him. He just got divorced as well and is not in any hurry to get a new relationship, nor am I. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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you can be close without having sex, and having a close friend might help you. But leave your common-law husband before you sleep with the new guy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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np: oh, well that makes allllllll the difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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I would argue that it does. It's not some cheezy affair or fling. It's someone who has been apart of my life for longer than I've known my current "dh" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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but you don't want a relationship, you do just want an affair/fling! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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It's not that cut and dry really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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whatever you say dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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OP clearly needs to have the last word and her story is getting tedious. Lets just stop humoring her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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You are rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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I agree. She knows what she should do but doesn't want to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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If 16 yrs is more than half your life, then you are in fact, pretty young. Love is not simple, wonderful yes but not simple. What's with the "nothing serious" and "no strings"? NO WAY does this match the 16 tr friendship or the clearing out from ending your current relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 10:53 PM Flag
[ - ] why is everyone obsessed with the Ivy Leagues? DH and I have PhDs. The Ivys are only good for some fields. Undergrad. really doesn't matter anyway. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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which fields then? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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mostly the arts. We have met people with Ivy degree who were really unimpressive. The schools are full of self-centered, over-achieving brats. They also have massive grade inflation in their undergrad. programs [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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you mean like fine art? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
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english, classics, those fields [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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True about the grade inflation at the undergraduate level. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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there are benefits to the "name" of the school you attend, sadly, even if the reality of the education is no different. plus, you make connections at those schools that might not be available at some places, and connections really do matter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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not really. I met a guy who was going to Harvard for Engineering. No one goes there for Engineering. There program isn't good. He would have done better at a State Tech school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
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well, I can tell you from going to Harvard that just saying the name has opened doors for me even w/o giving any other info. Might not be fair or based in meaningful data, but it is reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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I agree Harvord Engineering school is not one of the top ranked. MIT yes Harvord no. It is more of a strength with MBA, MD Psyc, not the tech. It is great for networking that is for sure and it doesn't look bad on the resume, but it does have a stigma attached which is sometimes not so good for recent grads. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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lol, I should be cursed with such a "stigma" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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You laugh, but it is true, their attitude of entitlement for recent grads is way out of the park. I know I am in recruiting for a major Bio med company. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Trust me, the entitlement is outrageous among every recent college grad and its a bit less charming coming from a graduate of East Nowhersville Univ. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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Oh, are you in recruiting as well. This generation is the worst. I am a product of the y gen, but I am not like these twits. I hate dealing with parents when I am interviewing collge grads. Give me a break they are at min 22 years old. Cut the cord already. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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Clearly you wouldn't have gotten into HarvArd anyway... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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Actually I did and didn't go. I am an engineer just because I don't spell check prior to hitting reply, doesn't make me an idiot. I am a product of the digital age. What can I say! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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lol... it doesn't take spell check to know how to spell harvard. btw, you should know that as a product of the digital age, sc isn't an option here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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np - yes it is [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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sc? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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spell check [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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^^ oh i get it. And BTW spell check meaning give it a glance to see if anything was mis typed or spelled. Good Lord you are a crab! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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not a crab at all - it sounded like that alleged Harvard poster was planning to hit spellcheck [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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The alleged Harvord poster is I and no i did not intend to push spell check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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nnp: I have spell check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:28 PM Flag
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on here, how? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 12:29 PM Flag
[ - ] At what day in your cycle, did you find out you were pregnant? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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you don't need a comma there [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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25 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
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32 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:10 AM Flag
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did you test before day 32? anyone test once it said not pregnant, then test again days later and you were? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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every neative I got was. When I was actually pg I waited till day 32 so there would be no question [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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27 [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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w #1 I was charting and I had 25 day cycles, so by day 30 all the signs were there, but it was the first month of charting, so I wasn;t sure I "bought into it". I didn't test until day 39. w #2, i had no idea and did not test until I was nearly 8 wks pg [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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24/25; I ovulate early [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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