< Return to Talk
07.11.08, 11:11 AM General Topics
40 replies
Okay: If you were in a horrible relationship for 10 years and was about to leave, and felt no love for about half of that and you're not married, would you have a sexual relationship with a CLOSE friend of 16 years if it would not cause any complications? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:11 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
Just leave! Stop complicating your situation further. Leave your SO THEN sleep with your friend. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
»
I've tried to leave, "dh" is making it very difficult- I'm planning to leave asap [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:13 AM Flag
»
^^in the waiting time, I want to be loved again. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:14 AM Flag
»
just walk out. I totally did. if you are serious about leaving then leave. you clearly need him for somehting ($$ I assume). cheating on him will make everything worse but I feel you are one of those women who love drama. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
I so do not like drama at all, just want to feel good again [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
You'll "feel better" if you wait and get out of relationship #1 before starting a new one [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
»
ITA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
»
I don't want a new relationship, just physical pleasure [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
»
that is as bad... maybe worse. haven't you ever heard of pleasuring yourself if that is all you want? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
Then just get out of your current situation before you get into another. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:19 AM Flag
»
No, I would leave first because it WOULD cause complications. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:14 AM Flag
»
such as? I'm only asking because I feel deeply for this person and kind of neglected and I can't think straight about it. We have talked about just meeting a few times with no other strings attached. I trust this person deeply. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:15 AM Flag
»
if you are in NY it is not a no-fault state, and an affair could really hurt you in divorce procedings [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:16 AM Flag
»
I'm not married to begin with. We never got married. We have two children together. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:17 AM Flag
»
Then leave the jerk and move on. Walk out. Custody could be a difficult thing if you're not married and you have an affair regardless. I assume you want custody of your kids, which may be incorrect [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:18 AM Flag
»
I want to share custody with him. "dh" has been told by several psych. that he needs meds for issues and therapy and he refuses. Do you think that my fling will be worse than that? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:20 AM Flag
»
Yes, and to any judge it will be seen that way [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:22 AM Flag
»
IDA, if the dh needs meds and therapy and refuses, and they are not married, it is very tricky to place blame [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:23 AM Flag
»
Her having an affair would not help her case. It might make someone judge her as reckless and her kids would end up in the system because neither parent is fit [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
no. 1st b/c you need to resolve and heal from the ex before you can develop something good with the friends. 2nd b/c in some states there is a probationary separation and starting a new relationship could hurt you in any legal proceedings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:24 AM Flag
»
I've resolved and healed a while ago. this has been a long time coming. We are not married, how would this hurt me legally? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
»
speak to a lawyer, you need to, and you need to LEAVE [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
You are very young aren't you? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:25 AM Flag
»
nope [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:26 AM Flag
»
Then you lack judgement. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
You would too in my situation. Try not to judge, your not in it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:28 AM Flag
»
You've laid out a bizarre situation where you are clinging to a dysfunctional man in a dysfunctional relationship without any legal partnership and now you want to shag some guy because he looked at you twice? If you claim to have good judgement then I can only chalk your poor life choices up to stupidity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:31 AM Flag
»
Nice. That some guy is a friend that I've been close with for more than half of my lifetime. Good try though. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:32 AM Flag
»
but all you want to do is have sex with him, that is a big part of what's wrong (np) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:33 AM Flag
»
Well right now since I'm in a situation, yes I want to have sex with him. I have not yet, but I really want to be close with him. He just got divorced as well and is not in any hurry to get a new relationship, nor am I. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
you can be close without having sex, and having a close friend might help you. But leave your common-law husband before you sleep with the new guy [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
np: oh, well that makes allllllll the difference [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:34 AM Flag
»
I would argue that it does. It's not some cheezy affair or fling. It's someone who has been apart of my life for longer than I've known my current "dh" [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:35 AM Flag
»
but you don't want a relationship, you do just want an affair/fling! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
»
It's not that cut and dry really. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
whatever you say dear. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
OP clearly needs to have the last word and her story is getting tedious. Lets just stop humoring her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:36 AM Flag
»
You are rude [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:37 AM Flag
»
I agree. She knows what she should do but doesn't want to [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 11:39 AM Flag
»
If 16 yrs is more than half your life, then you are in fact, pretty young. Love is not simple, wonderful yes but not simple. What's with the "nothing serious" and "no strings"? NO WAY does this match the 16 tr friendship or the clearing out from ending your current relationship. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.11.08, 10:53 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions