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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Why can't my dh or I manage to put away things like dishes, shoes, clothing, and papers like normal people? We both try, we really do, but our cupboards and shelves always look ransacked. It is like we both are missing the tidy lobe of our brains. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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You should be glad that neither or you care. . . it would be far worse if one cared and the other didn't. . . then you'd be fighting about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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Excellent point. I only really mind because I assume everyone who comes to our house is horrified. It is clean but chaotic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:54 PM Flag
[ - ] when do you get your period after you stopped bf? it 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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everyone is different. . . how old is baby? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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6 months it's been 2 months still nothing but feel like it could be any day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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several months after for both dcs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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so it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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so it could be 6 months plus before it happens again? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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np, you never know - I think I got six or seven months. But, we are all different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Why does a post move down the page, then, suddenly, show up at the top again...does it know something that I don't? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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when someone responds it get put at the top [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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look to your right, in the "your settings" box, towards the bottom, you will see "sort by recency". Check that and then save as your default and that will stop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Was wearing white jeans with flats and stepped on the hems and now they're filfthy. Is there a way to "spot clean" (so that I don't have to actually wash them!)? What should I use? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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Sponge with mixture of Oxi-Clean and water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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why not wash them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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I was only wearing them around the house, trying them on with different tops and shoes -- but I didn't actually wear them out and about, so other than the hem, they're perfectly clean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:56 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have a 4-5 yo who's just not that interested in learning letters and writing. she can write a little and sometimes still gets letters mixed up. older sib was practically reading at this age. . . what is normal? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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Both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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That sounds like my sister and I. She was reading before school, and I didn't really read until 1st grade. I was really into puzzles, games, etc. We both made the exact same score on the SAT. Mine was higher in math and hers was higher in English. My point is that 2nd dd may have a different type of intelligence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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OP: they are clearly very different. . . I just worry sometimes (I know it's crazy) that she'll never care or be motivated enough. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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how many adults do you know that can't write? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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OP. . . . {I'll finish my sentence} . . . be motivated enough to succeed at sibling's school. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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or: Do you other things that she is not motivated at, or just the reading writing thing? She will probably live up to the expectations that she is given once she starts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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As the later reader, I just wasn't that into books. I'm still not. I'd rather do the crossword or a soduko than read a book. She'll be fine. Just try not to compare her too much. Help her develop her own interests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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ITA...I hate reading too and I've done just fine in life. I don't understand this obsession with people equating a love of reading with superior intelligence [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:10 PM Flag
[ - ] any single moms on? Do you regret divorcing? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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Divorced 2x, first time yes; second time no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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any advice for me, who is about to divorce dh? DS is 7 mo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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Why now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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manic bipolar episode and finding out he had been hospitalized 13 years ago was pretty much the icing on the cake.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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So regret isn't an option here. Make the break and set up your life to be as comfortable as you can make it. Will he have any custody? You are going to need time to pursue a social life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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is he on meds? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I haven't been here since they changed the format. Is everyone new or did everyone get used to it? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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Everything is slow. I actually like the new format. It really isn't that different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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it seems to have picked up lately [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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It's actually a good thing. I hate the new format and so I only come now when I'm really really bored. Dh is out with the guys tonight so I'm on for the first time in months. I still don't know the site well though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone get divorced w/ a newborn? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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I know you are upset, but didn't you just post this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:55 PM Flag
[ - ] which of the girls' schools are considered easier to get into? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.12.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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sacred heart [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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That's ridiculous. The truth is none are easy to get into. But, MM and Hewitt are probably easier than the others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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says the csh mom. hey, don't include us at the bottom of the barrel! lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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Actually, my dd attends Chapin. I really don't believe any of these schools are easy to get into. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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so why bother disparaging hewitt and MM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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This wasn't my intent. OP, asked a question, and I gave an answer from my experience. These schools are considered easier to get into, because most people don't fc them. It doesn't reflect on the great education you get at all of these schools. I don't believe I made any disparaging remarks about MM or Hewitt. I have friends with dds in both schools and they are very happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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Absolutely IS easier to get into than TTs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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brearly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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Hewitt followed by mm. Don't think either went to WL this year, though, so hardly "easy" to get into. Brearley, Spence and Chapin are top tier and the toughest to get into. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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I think B cares more about money recently with their space issue and all. Spence cares more about score, not so much money recently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:41 AM Flag
[ - ] What kind of child(and family) St. Ann's is looking for? We are not famous, no connections but very very bright artistic DC... 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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I know several very normal people who have gone there. They are probably looking for a good balance like every school. You don't want all one type of parent or child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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They take all kinds just like every other school. There is certainly emphasis on the creative and/or intelligent child, but it has much less to do with the parents than those on UB would have you believe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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Is it ture most of the spots are filled with legach, siblings and faculities DC? We are applying for 1st grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:04 PM Flag
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NP yes it's true. they had 6 open spots after those categories this year, and don't forget connected people! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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6 sopts for 1st grade? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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Woops, 'spots' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:42 PM Flag
[ - ] my inlaws think my dd is bratty. she's 5yo and can be difficult, but she's 5. she is also bright, funny and joyful at times. my mil (step) called her a drama queen. they got completely offended when she didn't say hello when they first came in - she's slow to warm up. It's really a problem because i don't want to spend time with them anymore. they are in their 60's and they are far from poised. what should i say? or do? i said that she was feeling shy when they came in but they take it personally. so annoying... 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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Its rude not to say hello when someone enters a room. My kids do that too sometimes but I correct them because they are wrong. I'm not saying your in laws are right but don't make excuses for bad behavior either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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i work on that with her all the time. she's better, but it's tough for her. she doesn't say hello all the time. it's her personality, even when she was a baby she would cry when people talked to her. and then when she was a toddler she would turn away from people and ignore them. she's very introverted at first. like i said, i'm working on it with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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btw - my ds is not like this at all. he's much more social than she is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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OR: I have to disagree - saying hello and having good manners is training, not personality. But its good to know you are working on it. Why not tell MIL that its a work in progress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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it is training, but some kids are very outgoing and some are very introverted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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np: OR is a sanctimonious bitch. OP, I also have one of each, an introvert & extrovert and there is sometimes NOTHING you can do to force the shy one to "submit." I would tell MIL that it is something you are working on, but that she must respect dd too. They are people just like adults, with distinct personalities and faults. You're doing the best you can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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eh, sorry - the world doesn't have different rules for different personalities. Pleasant manners make people more likeable. OP may not like her MIL bluntness but she is merely saying what others are thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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ok, so how can i make her say hello? like i said sometimes she does it and sometimes she doesn't. so what do you suggest doing when she is very shy and putting her face to my chest and clinging to me? or just looking down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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sorry, sanctimonious rules do not apply to me and my children. We do the best we can. You sound more like a prison guard than a mom and we don't live on cell block #9. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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omigod, thank you!!! i just posted the same thing. you can't FORCE them to say hello. how can you even do that????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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ITA. Taking time to warm up is not a good excuse..children need to learn to say hello and goodbye, once you do that, I'm sure your inlaws will come around. That generation has no tolerance of children who are not polite (my IL constantly complain about niece and nephew not saying hello) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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np - I'm 30 and I have no tolerance for it either! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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its hard to hear negative comments about your dc, but she probably is a drama queen. I think that if you acknowledge that it will be easier. I suspect you are taking it personally and hearing it as a criticsim of your parenting skills. Some children are drama queens. Try and teach her to speak to people when they enter the room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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Are they right? 5 year olds can be bratty and dramatic and loveable and charming too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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i think the problem is that they don't have any other children in their life. they haven't been exposed to kids for close to forty years. she never has, because she never had them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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But don't you want to raise children who you don't have to make excuses for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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i said i'm working on it. but i can't grab her face force her to look at them and make her say hello. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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meanwhile, when we go to their house my fil doesn't come out to say hello. you could be there half an hour before you see him. so, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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OP I gotta say you are full of excuses, sounds liek the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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i still haven't gotten any meaningful ideas, just a lot of judgement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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Well, It's about your child-not your in-laws. Besides modeling appropriate behaviour you can have simple, short conversations w/ your child realating to feelings. It feels good to be acknowledged and not so good to feel ignored. It's always been strange -since childhood- to hear the adage, "Treat others as you would have then treat you." In our home, we practice treating others as we treat ourselves- with respect and consideration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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and I do confess that some days, I've lost my patience, as I've been torn between wanting to let my kid be herself and thinking that the behavior stems from some of her immature control mechanisms. I try to stick with not giving it too much attention overall but we definitely discuss respect of self and others. Eye contact and verbal communication are instinctive in 'typical' human nature. Sometimes it's hard to hold back from telling our kids things we know they know but that action can sometimes give more power to that behavior than is productive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 12:13 AM Flag
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My younger DS is like this. We had a series of discussions about feelings, and how he acts affects other people's feelings. He is much better now that it's not about "what he's supposed to do" but about "making sure he doesn't hurt other people's feelings." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:31 PM Flag
[ - ] My 5 yr old ds is obsessed with saying poopy all the time... We use to to describe bowel movements, so I can't criticize, but is this normal? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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yes, normal. but ds needs to learn bathroom talk is only for the bathroom or when he is communicating he needs to go to the bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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Nip this one in th ebud, when my son was 5 I was totally grossed out by his peers that had this fixation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
[ - ] My darling, sweet, social, good-natured 4yo dd is overbearing. Some kids are fine with it, but even her friends sometimes see her coming and run the other way -- she's too loud and boisterous. It is killing me. WWYD? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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^^^I'm an overbearing, friendly galoot myself, btw -- she totally learns it from me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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I worry about to what extent that will make her feel like there is something inherently wrong with her. Do you think she is better off 'practicing' being social with me, or the school of hard knocks with other kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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Kid learn from modeling. She may not know at 4 that she is practicing. In actual situations, remind her. Make it into a game or something fun, too. Hard knocks is much more brutal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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Thats a tough one. Its hard to change someone's nature. I would engage her in tons of sports and other activites that can challenge her ebulliance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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So if you're the same way - why is it killing you? People love you, you have succeeded...won't it be the same way for her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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Aw, you are sweet! Because I remember oh so well how painful it is to run up with a big smile on my face shouting "Hi! Hi! Hi!" And seeing the other person look horrified. In fact, I am still basically that way right now... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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lol, do I know you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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I keep rereading this post. I am the same way and breathed a sigh of relief when I had two boys. Somehow that behavior seems (unfairly) more acceptable in boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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np: if not considered the norm... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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OP: As a matter of fact she mostly hangs around with boys, and some shy girls who seem to love traveling in her wake, ykwim? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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UGH! I know you (or someone Just like you) and you're right, we do run when we see you coming. I can't stand attention seeking, know-it-all, self-obessessed blabbermouths. Just stay quiet and listen once in a while. Ask a question and don't feel the need to answer it too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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Whereas you drip compassion and charm. The milk of human kindness, you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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right? crikey! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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I love gregarious people. Takes all kinds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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This sounds like my dd to a certain extent. I like her personality though, and wouldn't have it any other way. She didn't get this from us, as we are more reserved. But, I like her confidence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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my dear neighbors' daughter is like this; at first, i found it a little difficult, but as i get to know her, i really love it! she's smart as a whip and funny, and the overbearing part is just another part of her personality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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let her learn life's lessons on her own terms. Better now than later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:15 AM Flag
[ - ] HELP! My 4 yo dd is so difficult! She is very bright and energetic, but is so hard to discipline. I feel like my dh and I spend most days telling her to stop doing things. Stop stomping through the house, stop saying things in a rude way, stop putting feet on the table, etc. The list is endless. Does anyone have any techniques that work on an extremely willfull child? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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Stop saying stop and follow through. Don't get her anything unless it is said politely, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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ok, but I could "punish" her all the time! Literally. Do I constanly put her in time out, take things away, etc? She is perpetually in a bad mood and I don't know how to get her out of it. It seems like it's her DNA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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lol. They are programmed in some ways. I'd pick one battle and give alternatives. I had a problem recently with dd spitting on me. I told her that I didn't like it, that you never spit on people, and that she could spit in the sink whenever she wants. I've heard her several times spitting away in the sink. Instant time outs for hitting. If the bad behavior involves a toy, I'll threaten to take the toy away and then if repeated, remove the toy. I have been working for several months on asking nice, and that has improved drastically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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^^^oh yeah, and the most important, lots of positive praise. It makes me proud/happy/etc of you, when you do____. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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also, pick your battles. are all of these things that you are telling her to stop doing important. . . or could you ease up a bit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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have you read 123 magic? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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Read (or skim) "how to talk so your child will listen. . ." some of it is dopey but some of it worked brilliantly for my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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the other formula that may work, depending on the child is "when you do xxx, I feel xxxx, I want you to do xxx instead." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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Sounds like you have gotten into a battle of wills. I work with kids and find that telling them to stop doing things rarely works b/c it doesn't educate them as to what they should be doing instead. Like, 'Stop running!' isn't as productive as 'Walk please!' Sorry if that is dorky, but it works for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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ITA. children don't want to be nagged all the time. it makes them tune out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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this is tough love time: it's probably not your kid, it's probably your parenting. cut back on all the nagging and follow through. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Sprayed on Banana Republic Modern cologne today and loved it, but didn't buy because it was BR. Weird. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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This is just a weird post. Who wears cologne anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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I wear cologne, that's who (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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