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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] We went to a birthday party for a 1 year old family friend--a big party...anyway, a 10 year old boy played with my ds (age 4.5). This bay is also a friend of the family, we have known his parents and grandparents. Anyway, my som was overwhelemed a bit by the number of people and the 10 year old hung out with him and played. DS told us tonight that the boy asked for a hug and a kiss on the lips, so he gave it to him...Should I be concerned? Should I do something? If s, what? My ds's aunt was also at the party and said he saw the 10 year old do this with another young boy a few months back...DS was not uncomfortable about it, and not having seen what happened I am not sure how to interpret the older boys intentions. TIA for any comments 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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he's 10. More than likely he is just an affectionate little boy. Would you be worried if a 10 yo girl did this? I hate that we live in a world where this has to even be a question [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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me too...yet my aunt made a point to say something to me about it, and i questioned myself for shrugging it off... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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I would probably make a point to keep an eye on him if he is ever with your kid again alone, but most likely it's fine. If your son is not upset, there is nothing to worry about as far as this inceident goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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ITA, not an issue IMO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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I disagree. 10 years old is old enough to put a sexual conontation to kissing on the lips. it is totally inappropriate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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with my first db I made a big thing our of "grown ups kiss each other on the lips, kids kiss each other on the cheeks" but now with 4 dbs I realize it is so NOT a big deal. They see people kissing each other on the lips every day on TV & movies & unless you want to make a big stink about how it is "not appropriate" they will just kiss that way. My 9 yo ds kisses his yr old sisters on the lips & he is not a perv! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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ita, i kiss my 4 yo on the lips and my 1 yo of course gets kissed on the lips [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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it is oen thing for sibling to kiss a baby that way. this is a 10 yr old and 4 yr old who do not know each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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that is absolutely disgusting. 10 yo is a big boy already. Something needs to be said to someone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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While I don't think you should be concerned, I completely disagree with other posters who don't think it is unusual for a 10 yo boy to request a kiss on the lips from a younger child. It is. That boy either knows what he is doing, or he has social problems. Either way, it is inappropriate and you should make sure that your ds knows that. signed mom of 10 year old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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ita! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 01:43 AM Flag
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ITA. if girls at that age know what it means, so do the boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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ITTTA. I'm shocked by the people who think this behavior is normal. I, personally, would never let my kid be around that 10yo unsupervised again. Juvenile pedophilia is a real thing, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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^^^and, btw, i worry about the kids of these clueless parents who refuse to teach them about inappropriate sexual behavior [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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gay, gay, gay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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A 10 year old is about to enter JUNIOR HIGH. Hello... I can't believe you people don't think there is something wrong. I would meet with his parents and mention what the aunt observed. He is a big boy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 09:52 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 01:43 AM Flag
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but a kiss on the lips? i'd be concerned if he was asking him something more sexual. a kiss on the lips from a child isn't sexual IMO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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Are you OP? If you are, you should be aware that this 10 year old is experimenting, trying to see if he can push the boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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agree. it is completely inappropriate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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ITA--grooming the smaller boy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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a kiss on the lips from a 5 year old is not sexual. 10 years old? I think it is a different story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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It would not bother me in the least. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:12 AM Flag
[ - ] what is the most you have spent on a party for yourself or dh? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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maybe $500 for a holiday party (lots of food & booze for 40 ish people) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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$50K for dh's 50th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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good lord! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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yep, it was a doozy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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what cost so much? (I'm sure it was wonderful BTW - just curious) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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fabulous french dinner for 80 with incredible wines [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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cool. Glad it was fun! Invite me to your next party willya? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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okey dokey. actually, it'll be my 50th (a bit delayed due to health reasons)... going to anguilla with 12 gfs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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oooohhh! I'll make it 13! I can mix a good martini! ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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^^and I can bake fabulous cakes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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ah, well, then, you're in! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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;-) see you there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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a few thousand on my 40th. rented out a champagne bar for 3 hours (single at the time). was a great night, so glad I did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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we spent 15K on our wedding 15 years ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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maybe $100 bucks for ourpost-wedding party? We've never had any other parties except for ds's birthdays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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$100?? was it just the two of you?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:11 AM Flag
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about 4,000 40th b-day for DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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this is where i am. looks like i spending 5k on my 40th [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 01:41 AM Flag
[ - ] my 8mo prefers me over my husband and sometimes even cries when my husband is holding him/watching him. is that common and when does this stage end? my husband's feeling left out and bad. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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We had a similar situation and it lasted a LONG time. I don't think even today (ds is 7) that he often chooses my husband over me. We let it go too much, I think. My advice would be to have your husband carve out some father-son time and you should leave the house. Whenever the crying started with us, I would end up "rescuing" my husband and he never spent enough alone time with our son. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:59 PM Flag
[ - ] What percentage of your income is okay to go to housing? And is it a percentage of gross income or net? Thanks ... 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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Gross & your mortgage should be no more than 3 times your income [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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So if mortgage is $3200, income should at least be $10K a month? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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That sounds about right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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you mean one third, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:57 PM Flag
[ - ] So bored just took a lame name quiz on people.com got 6 out of 8 right! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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awww did you want to try the serial killer or programmer quiz? http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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what is this I am too scared to even look [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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they are photographs of nerdy guys, and you see if you can correctly choose if they are a serial killer or computer programmer, my sister-in-law got them all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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OR: I got 6/10 so did my husband, (njplaygrounds poster) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] we are going to rent our 3 bedrooom 1.5 apt in prospect heights. realtor thinks we can get $2600 including utilities. what do you think? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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are there any good public schools close by? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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the pre-k around the corner is good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Am i overreacting? Flew home today from my first Europe business trip since #2 was born 18 months ago. First time ever away from him and only 2nd time away from #1). Missed them terribly and came racing home from the airport, dying to see them, only to learn that they won't be home for hours (long past bedtime) bc DH took them out of town for the day, stayed way way too late and is now stuck in tailback traffic. I am literally crying with disappointment and also with anger .... 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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how disappointing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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that sucks. hang in there. dh is not smart [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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give dh a break..I understand you are upset but he was trying to have a fun day with them while you were away. Take a deep breath..you will see them very soon,. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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x2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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yes, you are overreacting, unless you had previously let dh know you wanted them to be home when you got home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, what a bummer! But as the spouse of someone who travels a lot, you have to cut the staying home spouse a TON of slack. Disappointment is totally understandable, but anger is not really fair. He's probably been losing it trying to keep them occupied, so a trip out of town was a treat for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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OP: I get that DH was trying to do something fun with the kids but he knew when I was landing and could still have had a whole day out and been back in good time to stick to the bedtime routine and let me see them. This was just easier for him because our friends would feed the kids and they'd fall asleep in the car, thereby saving him the drudgery. I'm afraid I am still mad .... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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deep breaths, why don't you go do something for yourself, and try letting it go, kids will be there in the morning.. my dh isn't as routine-driven as I am, (not that I'm great at it) but everything is done to a lesser extent, cleaning up, bathtime. Kids are still thriving, and we got plenty of love, and I have my glass of wine with dinner.. yeah, it gets to me sometimes but don't sweat the small stuff [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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I would be pissed as hell too - why on earth wouldn't he think you wanted to see them as soon as you go home? It sounds pretty passive aggressive to me (not my fault, just caught in traffic). Are you two have trouble in general? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 07:34 PM Flag
[ - ] need ideas for a weekend trip, driving distance, with dh and dd, sometime in august or september. dd will be 3-4 months old by then. tia. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.12.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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rhinebeck, berkshires, cape cod, ct shore. hotels or do a vrbo.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] going to a party for my 90 year old aunt. what to get her? dh said an 80 yr old man! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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a photo book from the 1940's and/or a silver frame with family photo in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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90 quarters, 90 dollars, 90 stamps, 90 chocolates. A poster with every year she has been alive and something cool about that year from almanac, like panty hose invented. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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dh and i love this idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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Which one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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90 quarters, 90 dollars 90 stamps and 90 chocolates! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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a bottle of wine from the year she was born [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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A newspaper from the exact date she was born. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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chocolates [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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http://heidiandarthurs.com chocolates. The seniors love that and they do awesome sugar free. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.20.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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i'd find out what she likes/needs and get her those. does she get magazines? pay for her subscription. or flowers or pay for fresh direct deliveries for a month [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.20.08, 09:01 AM Flag
[ - ] please help. our 3.5 nearly almost 4yr cries for dh to sleep with him every night. he also wakes up at 3 or 4 every night crying. it is crazy. he is in there right now calling for dh. HELP! 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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is he having nightmares? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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no, just a very bad habit that we let happen when we switched to a regular bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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go buy a twilight turtle, it give off soft stars on the ceiling and stars, it would be nice and calming for him to look at then doze off. we have one and it works wonders [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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does he have a nightlight? any magic stuffed animals to protect him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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hmmm, thanks for these suggestions. we will start on this immediately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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magic works well at this age for many issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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^^^ try to remember: it's scary to grow up ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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op: you are very right! thxs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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np: ita- 3 yo dd has a stuffed cat that "guards" her while she's sleeping. Works like a charm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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why can't dh just go in there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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he can but c'mon, every night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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he's at the age where you can talk to him and ask whats wrong and why he's scared...what does he say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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he never says he is scared. just wants daddy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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he won't be calling for daddy when he's 14. sheesh. just enjoy your small child. DH should go to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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sheesh, calm down. just looking for a good nights sleep after almost 4yrs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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wish I knew the answer -- our 4.8yo comes into our room in the middle of the night every single night, wants to get in bed with us or have one of us come sleep in her bed. drives me nuts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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i am glad you responded. i kept thinking i was really the only one! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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no, you are not alone. as it happens, my dh has taken her on an overnight trip tonight -- so I have the chance at a full night's sleep!!! (if the baby doesn't wake up....) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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np: we've also been there. you're totally not the only one. dd is 5 now, and went through phase last year when she did this every night. we were exhausted. sticker chart worked wonders in our case. she was super excited to get a sticker on a chart for every night she stayed in bed and/or didn't need us to sit w/ her to fall asleep. prize was a trip to the bronx zoo. the book "1-2-3 Magic" was also helpful w/ bedtime issues, i found, and for discipline stuff in general for this age. good luck! hope you get some sleep soon. : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 08:11 PM Flag
[ - ] we are having a party with 2 bars. one will be a regular bar, the other will be a martini bar. besides the alcohol, what will the bartenders need? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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good looks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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not the answer i was looking for but ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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little umbrellas for the drinks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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lots of glasses, mixers (tonic, oj, cranberry juice, soda), non alocholic stuff, lemons, limes, cocktail napkins, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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ICE!!...honestly, I'd ask the bartenders in advance, you may overlook something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:59 PM Flag
[ - ] 5 year old is suddenly very picky she is also very tall and super skinny starting to get jokes like "geez are you feeding her?" Do I make her eat more of a variety of foods or just let it go..she eats alot of veggies but only strawberries and apples for fruits basically no meat...making me crazy and nervous...needs more portein any advice TIA 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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you serve what you are eating. She eats or she doesn't. That's the end of that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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yeah we do that I don't make extra 'kid food' just concerned with how little she is eating... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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you only eat strawberries and apples? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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no those are the only fruits she will eat sometimes a banana but not very often, she does drink milk smoothies might work but she doens't like icecream...never thought I would have such a picky eater [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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just put healthy food out there and let her decide. Make sure she isn't filling up on juice or milk. She needs protein. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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does she drink milk? you could make her smoothies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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buy some children's omega acid supplements to give her in addition to whatever food you offer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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no prob. it's essentially fruit flavored fish oil but my dd loves it. great for them and adds some extra calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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what about eggs? My ds all of a sudden loves a fried egg and cheese sandwhcih for lunch, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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I also find it helps when we order food in from different places and let my kids help. When we get Japanese, they will eat miso soup, shumai, calif. rolls, tofu... they wouldn't eat those if I just made them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] expecting db #2 and what to get dc #1 some great gifts from dc#2 and from me and dad for being a big brother and to keep him busy. what should we get him? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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how old is dcs #1, we got out DD a "Big Sister" shirt which she loved and some fun sticker books etc. to keep her busy while I was attending to new baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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good lord [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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my sentiments exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP: WHATS WRONG WITH GETTING OUR KID A PRESENT? SOMETHING SPECIAL? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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why are you yelling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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because its frusterating when you ask for simple advise then you get someone saying "good lord" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Really? How about a simple answer. Don't buy your child anything special because they have a baby coming. Don't ask strangers who don't know anything about your dc to pick the gift that you can't even think of?? That's probably why the Good lord comment came. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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i think it's ridiculous for the baby to "give" a present -- the baby cannot give a present. it's illogical. it's as though you're afraid #1 will not accept the baby unless it comes bearing gifts. It's inane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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np: you're being really harsh - cut her some slack. she's pg for heaven's sake. many parents give presents from the new db and/or from themselves to celebrate the first child becoming a sibling. it's a perfectly reasonable thing to come here for suggestions. that said, i have none. try again, op, but during the day around lunchtime on a work day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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oh, i guess your poor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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^^^ if anything, big brother should go out and pick a present for the baby. why is "being a big brother" an occasion for mom and dad to give gifts? yes. you have to give your love and attention to another kid now. your son will be pissed off for a while. he'll adjust. don't assuage your guilt by getting him insulting presents to fill his time while you are ignoring him for the new baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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ooooozing with compassion this evening, i see. ahem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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np and I thought that was very well stated. She isn't not compassionate, she is reasonable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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how old? we did this, db gave #1 one of those VTech kids' computers, a remote control car and a baby doll for her to take care of while I took care of db#2. worked very well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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HE WILL BE 3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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ok, well dc#1 was 3.1 when her sister was born -- she likes all the stuff her little sis gave her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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what about planning something really specil with dad? Then you will have time with baby alone and your ds will get to do something fun and cool like go to an amusement park or something liek that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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okay, picture this, your 3 years old and all of a sudden your life is turned upside down because there is a new baby in the house who is getting all sorts of gifts and attention. you wouldn't want a special gift? come on... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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