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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Good travel games for 6 and 8 year old? boys, if that matters. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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nintendo ds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Re: nanny advice confronting her employers about bad treatment: i am fascinated at the various responses. being a parent i think i would want to knowe if i treated my nanny badly in ANYWAY & if stated properly i wouldn't hold it against her. her feeling have nothing to do with her performance, esp since it seems this nanny is done with the job 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:26 AM Flag
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ita, I thought those moms who said "move on" were outrageous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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The problems had been going on for 3ys though (if I remember correctly) and she had chosen not to do/say anything during that time. I think if she wasn't prepare to say anything at the time or leave if she was unhappy it is unfair to turn around now and complain especially as nothing but bad feeling will be gained from it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Any playground recs in Maplewood or within a 25 minute drive of Maplewood? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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There are playgrounds that you can walk to in each neighborhood: no need to add co2 to the environment! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.08, 08:38 AM Flag
[ - ] db looks like his torso is longer than his legs. any possibility his legs will catch up? he is 3.5 months old and now wearing 6-9 month old onesies... 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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Ask your ped at your next visit, but it sounds fine to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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Sounds fine to me too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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has he been screened for dwarfism? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:52 AM Flag
[ - ] we want to put in our third and final bid on a house - getting tired of this back and forth and the sellers don't seem to want to budge considering the house needs complete updating among other things. will a quote from a contractor be a good negotiating tool? "here's what it will cost to fix this or that however, we're only asking for this amount?" we want this house but of course, at a "better" price. it's about 100k in repairs/updating - but not all need to be done right away. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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wouldn't move me an inch. The answer is price per square foot by sq. foot - have your broker do this analysis it works every time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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op: price to fix per square feet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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No. Listen, no Seller is interested in your plans to renovate. Fix an old roof, repair a problem in the systems that is all legit. but renovation is not a negotiating tool for many reasons. The Sellers will be moved by seeing concrete data on what the comparable homes in their neighborhood have sold for and you can find this data with the ppsqft by sq. ft. analysis, your Broker will run it for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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OP: oh! we found that it is the CHEAPEST house in the area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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so pay the price and get on with your life. Enjoy and good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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so walk away. that's the only power you have right now. if you don't want to pay what they want, the only thing you have is time. walk away and hope in this market no one else will be interested. they'll call you in a month or two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know how much money dh and I should put aside if we wanted to adopt a child from asia? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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If you're serious about, consult a lawyer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:02 AM Flag
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I don't think money is the issue anymore there are many other issues now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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If you mean how much the adoption will cost it depends on the Country but I would say between $25,000 and $35,000. You can go look at some of the agency websites and they can give you the specifics. I recommend Wide Horizons for Children (WHFC). I hope this helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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there is so much reading and research you need to do -- money is really the least of the whole process. and if you make less than like $150K or something you get a tax credit. which country in asia? I agree with other poster -- find a reputable agency and read A LOT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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30-40K? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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Probably in the 30k area. The wait time has increased significantly, so that's something to look into as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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Assuming that you mean all of Asia not just China…..China is in the $30-35 all in range, est. wait time is now about 3 years (after the 6 months to get the dossier in). Vietnam and Thailand have similar costs and shorter wait times, but the programs’ timelines and overall viability are in jeopardy (due to people moving out of China into their programs). Cambodia is closed (due to violations). South Korea has a long established program and the children are well cared for and in great shape, it's generally (somewhat) more expensive than China but they have limitations on the parent’s age which doesn't allow some folk to adopt from there. Some programs offer Mongolian adoption but those are new and a bit dicey. Your best bet is to go with an established agency that has lots of programs and figure out what combo of costs, and timing etc..work best for you and your family. If you are open to Africa not just Asia, Ethiopia has good options in terms of timing. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.20.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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see if your company has an adoption assistance program. Mine will give an employee $8K or so to help defray costs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.20.08, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to go with DH, and 1 and 4 years old to the Caribbean. Do not know exactly where. am looking for a nice hotel, bungalow type, away from the crowd on a nice beach. any idea? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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check out cookiemag.com.... they had a whole piece on "the best family hotels"...some were cabin type places... I found it to be a helpful article. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:22 AM Flag
[ - ] I think that DH might have moderate Adult ADD/ADHD. It effects our marriage on a daily basis and I hate it. Anyone else in the same boat? How did you approach it? 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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those are made up disorders. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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how so? should it simply be called add/adhd? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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DH symptoms: Hyperactivity: inability to relax, Impulsiveness: blurting out rude or insulting remarks, interrupting others, Inattentiveness in adults: “tuning out” unintentionally, inability to focus on mundane tasks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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You mean he's a man? seriously, if you & he think it is a problem have him tested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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OP: i think he has add/adhd. when i mentioned it to DH he scoffed at it. he doesn't think he has a problem, but it's getting out of control as far as trying to function as a family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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Maybe you can get him to a different couples therapist & bring it up there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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i thought of that. anyone know how to get a therapist recommended in the healthcare group? when i call the group office, they never recommend a specific therapist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:25 AM Flag
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start with his PCP to make recommendations based on the thereapists in your ins co's netwrok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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OP: thanks. i'm going to try that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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yes, that sounds about right! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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have yo tried couples therapy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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twice. the last therapist i hated b/c she just gave us a book to read every week and we had "oprah's book club" during ever visit. we didn't discuss the direct problems that are going on. also, i don't think she had the experience working with interfaith/inter cultural couples. culture has a lot to do with communication too, i think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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are you a biracial couple [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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yes. filipino and white. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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my dh is the same. he responds to alot of postitive reinforcement. it requires alot of patience on my part but it's worth it. sometimes he is just another dc in the house but i knew that when i married him and he loves me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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OP: i didn't know he has ADD/ADHD until our DS was born. And now it's even worse. He has major anxiety issues when it comes to even the simplest things in life. Part of it is his upbringing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:54 AM Flag
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is your dh on Rx's or therapy? how does he manage it outside of the house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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how old is your ds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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DS or DH? DS is almost 3. DH is the one with possible ADD/ADHD. He's almost 33. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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Thats not ADD - will he see a prof. for a correct dx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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DH already sees a prof. for his anxiety issues, but i think she missed a lot of other things. DH always cuts off people during converstations, requires reminder to focus on tasks, always preoccupied with thoughts in his head, easily anxious over the smallest things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:01 AM Flag
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does he have a job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:02 AM Flag
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yes. engineer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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he's able to keep his job, do well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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that means nothing. how many people who are engineers have apsergers and go into that field b/c it is compatible with the way their mind works? do you know anything about what you're posting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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aspegers is not ADD/ADHD. you can't tell me that engineering is an ADD kind of job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:47 AM Flag
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ha ha. would you believe mathematician/math professor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:49 AM Flag
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has he seen a dr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:00 AM Flag
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actual Dr. that prescribes his SSRI only sees him for 5 minutes to renew his prescription. DH sees therapist on an inconsistent basis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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well, since you've surrounded yourself with in your opinion incompetent professionals, why on earth should strangers on a message board be able to help you. how do you know your DH isn't just rude and annoying? you didn't know he was rude and annoying before you married him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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i can help. see below. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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OP: thanks for your humble opinion. note to self: no not help others on this board with relating to their experiences. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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what's the part you really hate? DH and DS are ADD/ADHD. Neurofeedback has been a wonderful ($$$ yet drug-free) treatment for 5yo DS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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40% of ADHD sufferers have anxiety disorder as well. 25% have tics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:44 AM Flag
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thank you. i didn't know that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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I'm trying to reply since I have a DH and DS with ADD/ADHD but I don't see my replies on the board. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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okay, there they are. ignore the people who are scoffing at your distress. ADD/ADHD is real. http://www.aapb.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=1 check out this link and good luck to you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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OP: thank you for your input. it seems more helpful than scoffing. i came here for resources or people with similar experiences not a Dx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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what are the cultural differences, specifically, that you keep alluding to? the symptoms that you list as reason to believe he has this faux-disorder could not possibly have only surfaced after the baby was born. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:43 AM Flag
[ - ] so nobody can tell me where to have brunch in greenwich ct? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:09 AM Flag
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Well, Google can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:26 AM Flag
[ - ] dh and i want to go to either greenwich or westport today, walk around, have lunch, any suggestions, where to eat, are stores open on sunday? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:01 AM Flag
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I would definitely go to Westport today. All the stores are having sidewalk sales and there is also the Italian Festival going on by the train station. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Real Estate Question: If a broker showed me a rental, and then I saw the same listing posted with no fee - any issue with me going direct? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 04:07 AM Flag
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Yes she entitled to her fee - she is your procuring cause. She can also sue you and win since this is the law as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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np, wow, that's annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:58 AM Flag
[ - ] My dh and I asked my mil to come to town a week or two after my due date, but then she got a deal on a ticket and announced that she made the flight for my due date. Now she has been here 3 days, baby has not arrived, and I'm having a hard time. She's a nice woman, but I wanted to spend time with dh and ds alone and recover from birth with just us, and now I am visiting, cooking, dealing with having someone else in house. I wish she would go stay with my parents a few days, but they are 30 miles away and it seems rude to ask. Creative ideas? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:42 AM Flag
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Oh geez. Sorry, but when someone comes to be there after baby is born, they should be there to help, not be waited upon. I have no creative ideas except to maybe have your folks invite her over for some fun. It just means your parents will have to truly entertain her. If they're up for it, go for it. Have them call and invite, so it is coming entirely from them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:46 AM Flag
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OP: Also, we're doing a home birth and I had already asked a close friend to watch ds, so it would only be the midwife, dh, my mom, and my friend in the house. Now my mil will be here, too. NOT what I wanted. I think she will stay out in the living room, but still... the plan got away from me and now I feel stuck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:52 AM Flag
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Aye yaye yaye. I feel for you, but if there is nothing you can do, try not to worry about it. When the time comes you'll be so focused on giving birth that you won't care about all the people in your house, and if they get in the way, you have every right to have some one get them out of your way. You'll be in labor dammit, and a woman in labor is a woman who gets away with being a little bitchy/selfish or however it is that you are trying so nicely not to be. Good luck with everything, and honestly good luck with the birth! That's awesome. I can't imagine giving birth at home, but with my first I really wanted to deliver naturally. Had a C-section. I admire you ladies who can do it without drugs. Go you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:57 AM Flag
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you need to have DH talk to her. he needs to tell her straight up that she needs to scram during labor and delivery -- go to a museum, the movies. a hotel if it's in the night. "I love you mom, and we love that you'll be here to help out later, but during the birth it needs to be just us." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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You and midwife come up with a signal that means get that woman out of the room. Make her do the dirty work. Tell her advance so she can come up with a way to escrot mil out and keep mom and friend in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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And, I suspect this might not be the last time she doesn't listen to you. SO be very explicit the next time you invite her. Say we would love to have you. How about from the 12th - 16th? If she calls and changes it (and already has her ticket) you HAVE to put your foot down and say, I'm sorry. Those dates don't work for me. We discussed the 12- 16. I hope you don't have to pay too much to change your ticket, but if you do and can't make the trip, I will understand. And then stop talking. You set up the boundries you want and you make them clear and NOT negotiable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I wonder if you can try a little compassion for your MIL and her son. Yes you are having a baby but there are other people in your family too and DH obviously wanted his mom there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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where did you get this from the original post?-she said they (meaning DH too) asked her to come a week or two after the due date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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I don't know what yo are talking about. I am just asking OP to try her best to be kind [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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OP: Yes, dh wanted her to come 2 weeks later, too. I am trying to be kind, of course, but I don't understand why she asked what we wanted and then ignored us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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I posted above, don't let this become a habit. Make sure she understands what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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Why on earth did you allow her to come 2 weeks early? If it was my mil, I would have told her to exchange the tickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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I should have. I guess everyone hoped I'd be early and now we are paying the price, all sitting around together waiting. It's a lesson to be stronger next time and speak up, for sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 02:33 PM Flag
[ - ] 3 month old db is eating less during feedings and waking up in the middle of the night to make up for it. is there anything we can do to put him back on track to sleep through the night again? he was doing great until about a week ago. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 01:53 AM Flag
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anyone btdt? new mom here...completely clueless ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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When my ds did this I pumped milk and feed him a bottle at bedtime instead of bfing. you may not like that but it worked and we got sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:50 AM Flag
[ - ] I worked on a show called Showy Show. It's for preschoolers. Any one hear of it yet? Any one like it? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:14 PM Flag
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no, but i'd glad someone else is up. you in la? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:20 PM Flag
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Yes...my daughter had a big nap and JUST fell asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:21 PM Flag
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How old are your kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:22 PM Flag
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4. and tonight 4 and another 4... see below. She is curled up on the couch next to me sleeping... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:30 PM Flag
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Yuck! Bummer. Doesn't sound like that dinner would have made her sick. If she's awake, google Showy Show and tell me if she likes it. ; ) Maybe it will distract her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:38 PM Flag
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shes falling asleep. sort of. She is just upset now. I hope her parents check their messages soon... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:45 PM Flag
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Yes. Poor little thing. She's lucky to have such a nice mommy to take care of her. I'm going to sleep now. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:46 PM Flag
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she wants her mommy. jeez, its harder to take care of other peoples' children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:57 PM Flag
[ - ] We have houseguests from Europe with preschool kids. What things should we take them to see in the city. We have been to Central Park, Bronx Zoo, Museum of Hatural History so far. TIA 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 10:17 PM Flag
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OP: I haven't been here in a while - I see UB has been "improved" to the point of complete uselessness. Nice job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 10:29 PM Flag
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whats wrong with the site? posts with new replies still pop up to the top, and you can still watch, right? what other changes besides aesthetic were made. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 10:38 PM Flag
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Go to wave hill Sunday; the family art workshop is killer!, free and the place is so mellow and special you can hang out all day just lazing in the grass and watching the river. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.12.08, 11:51 PM Flag
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go to the waterfalls. it is great. take them on the site seeing bus. coney island, floating pool in the bronx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 01:44 AM Flag
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The Children's Museum is great and the boat ride to see waterfalls is neat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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