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07.13.08, 03:42 AM General Topics
13 replies
My dh and I asked my mil to come to town a week or two after my due date, but then she got a deal on a ticket and announced that she made the flight for my due date. Now she has been here 3 days, baby has not arrived, and I'm having a hard time. She's a nice woman, but I wanted to spend time with dh and ds alone and recover from birth with just us, and now I am visiting, cooking, dealing with having someone else in house. I wish she would go stay with my parents a few days, but they are 30 miles away and it seems rude to ask. Creative ideas? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.13.08, 03:42 AM Flag
 

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Oh geez. Sorry, but when someone comes to be there after baby is born, they should be there to help, not be waited upon. I have no creative ideas except to maybe have your folks invite her over for some fun. It just means your parents will have to truly entertain her. If they're up for it, go for it. Have them call and invite, so it is coming entirely from them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:46 AM Flag
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OP: Also, we're doing a home birth and I had already asked a close friend to watch ds, so it would only be the midwife, dh, my mom, and my friend in the house. Now my mil will be here, too. NOT what I wanted. I think she will stay out in the living room, but still... the plan got away from me and now I feel stuck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:52 AM Flag
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Aye yaye yaye. I feel for you, but if there is nothing you can do, try not to worry about it. When the time comes you'll be so focused on giving birth that you won't care about all the people in your house, and if they get in the way, you have every right to have some one get them out of your way. You'll be in labor dammit, and a woman in labor is a woman who gets away with being a little bitchy/selfish or however it is that you are trying so nicely not to be. Good luck with everything, and honestly good luck with the birth! That's awesome. I can't imagine giving birth at home, but with my first I really wanted to deliver naturally. Had a C-section. I admire you ladies who can do it without drugs. Go you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 03:57 AM Flag
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you need to have DH talk to her. he needs to tell her straight up that she needs to scram during labor and delivery -- go to a museum, the movies. a hotel if it's in the night. "I love you mom, and we love that you'll be here to help out later, but during the birth it needs to be just us." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:34 AM Flag
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You and midwife come up with a signal that means get that woman out of the room. Make her do the dirty work. Tell her advance so she can come up with a way to escrot mil out and keep mom and friend in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:06 AM Flag
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And, I suspect this might not be the last time she doesn't listen to you. SO be very explicit the next time you invite her. Say we would love to have you. How about from the 12th - 16th? If she calls and changes it (and already has her ticket) you HAVE to put your foot down and say, I'm sorry. Those dates don't work for me. We discussed the 12- 16. I hope you don't have to pay too much to change your ticket, but if you do and can't make the trip, I will understand. And then stop talking. You set up the boundries you want and you make them clear and NOT negotiable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I wonder if you can try a little compassion for your MIL and her son. Yes you are having a baby but there are other people in your family too and DH obviously wanted his mom there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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where did you get this from the original post?-she said they (meaning DH too) asked her to come a week or two after the due date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:27 AM Flag
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I don't know what yo are talking about. I am just asking OP to try her best to be kind [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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OP: Yes, dh wanted her to come 2 weeks later, too. I am trying to be kind, of course, but I don't understand why she asked what we wanted and then ignored us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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I posted above, don't let this become a habit. Make sure she understands what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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Why on earth did you allow her to come 2 weeks early? If it was my mil, I would have told her to exchange the tickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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I should have. I guess everyone hoped I'd be early and now we are paying the price, all sitting around together waiting. It's a lesson to be stronger next time and speak up, for sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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