UrbanBaby

07.12.08, 17:13 PM General Topics
11 replies

HELP! My 4 yo dd is so difficult! She is very bright and energetic, but is so hard to discipline. I feel like my dh and I spend most days telling her to stop doing things. Stop stomping through the house, stop saying things in a rude way, stop putting feet on the table, etc. The list is endless. Does anyone have any techniques that work on an extremely willfull child? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.12.08, 05:13 PM Flag

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Stop saying stop and follow through. Don't get her anything unless it is said politely, etc. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:16 PM Flag

ok, but I could "punish" her all the time! Literally. Do I constanly put her in time out, take things away, etc? She is perpetually in a bad mood and I don't know how to get her out of it. It seems like it's her DNA. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:17 PM Flag

lol. They are programmed in some ways. I'd pick one battle and give alternatives. I had a problem recently with dd spitting on me. I told her that I didn't like it, that you never spit on people, and that she could spit in the sink whenever she wants. I've heard her several times spitting away in the sink. Instant time outs for hitting. If the bad behavior involves a toy, I'll threaten to take the toy away and then if repeated, remove the toy. I have been working for several months on asking nice, and that has improved drastically. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:22 PM Flag

^^^oh yeah, and the most important, lots of positive praise. It makes me proud/happy/etc of you, when you do____. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:26 PM Flag

also, pick your battles. are all of these things that you are telling her to stop doing important. . . or could you ease up a bit? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:18 PM Flag

have you read 123 magic? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag

Read (or skim) "how to talk so your child will listen. . ." some of it is dopey but some of it worked brilliantly for my kids. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:19 PM Flag

the other formula that may work, depending on the child is "when you do xxx, I feel xxxx, I want you to do xxx instead." [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:21 PM Flag

Sounds like you have gotten into a battle of wills. I work with kids and find that telling them to stop doing things rarely works b/c it doesn't educate them as to what they should be doing instead. Like, 'Stop running!' isn't as productive as 'Walk please!' Sorry if that is dorky, but it works for me. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:23 PM Flag

ITA. children don't want to be nagged all the time. it makes them tune out. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:24 PM Flag

this is tough love time: it's probably not your kid, it's probably your parenting. cut back on all the nagging and follow through. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 07.12.08, 05:25 PM Flag