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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Regarding the Anderson bashing: I just find it amazing how many of these posts are from incoming Anderson parents. Don't you all think you'll feel weird on the first day knowing that at least half if not more of you areon UB all day? I come here once a day (in the AM) and am always amazed that there are six or seven new posts from you. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.14.08, 03:56 AM Flag
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Ah, more Anderson bashing. It wouldn't be a brand new day if there wasn't an Anderson bashing post on UB. If you believe that some of those posts are from real incoming A parents, then you're pretty naive. Or just dumb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:25 AM Flag
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I'm not talking about the bashing posts. I'm talking about the real posts asking real questions. I haven't seen even a fraction of that amount from new parents at other schools. Right now there are a few...wait I'll count. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:55 AM Flag
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Right now at this moment on just page 1 of this board there are 3 Anderson posts and at least 2 are genuine questions from new A parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:57 AM Flag
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np: get a life, lady. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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hey,you're the one who challenged it. You have to expect a response! OK, I'm off. Be back tomorrow....to five or six new questions from eager incoming Anderson parrents and rude responses from current ones! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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I really believe these posts are being started by people who are angry about something. They just seem too much like bait to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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half? Please. Probably more like 5 to 10. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:31 AM Flag
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I just realized I haven't been outside for nine months! Thank you for bringing this to my attention. . . . Then again, it's raining today so . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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LOL! Clearly you are superior and have your priorities straight. perhaps that is why your dcs are at anderson. they must be superior too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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you're such a child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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np: you deserved it. totally imperious in your tone, and annoying as hell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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can you read? the OP is not an Anderson parent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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the OR above ("...child" poster) is not the OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:11 AM Flag
[ - ] 11 mo old is now waking at 4 am ready for the day....how do I stop this? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:36 AM Flag
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what are the shades like in her room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:28 AM Flag
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Change nap, then change bedtime. BTDT - it was pretty easy to fix, once we changed naptime first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:44 AM Flag
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give a bottle in the bed and walk away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:35 AM Flag
[ - ] good summer read or a good book you have read recently? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:34 AM Flag
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Pillars of the Earth, an old book...but very good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:36 AM Flag
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whats it about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:37 AM Flag
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it takes place in the 15th century, there is a lot of characters and follows them for 3 generations. It's very well written and keeps you very interested in every chapter. It is quite long though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:39 AM Flag
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sequel is great too: World Without End [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:02 AM Flag
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I'm reading a book called Mantras & Misdemeanors about an Australian journalist who goes to Dharamsala and falls in love with a Tibetan man- pretty easy read, but I'm enjoying it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:51 AM Flag
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World's End, by TC Boyle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:23 AM Flag
[ - ] nice or cool, which is better? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:03 AM Flag
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nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:36 AM Flag
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why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:37 AM Flag
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nice lasts longer. cool fades with time and just becomes stupid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:38 AM Flag
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np - cool is about other people's perception. nice is a way of being that will make you a happier person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:29 AM Flag
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so true. I stress kindness with my kids above all else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:31 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone know where to learn the rules of nanny etiquette? i'm a native nyrkr who's lived in the UK for the past 4 years. now we're moving back to NYC with a shiny new dd in tow. i need a part time nanny, but have no clue where to find one, how much to pay, or what the deal is with bonuses, holiday's etc. we had the most fabulous nanny in London so i'm horrified at the idea of starting over. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.14.08, 02:44 AM Flag
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about $15/hour, 2 weeks paid holidays, 7 paid sick days, 1 paid personal day, two weeks bonus at the year's end - that includes child care plus light housework (only when dc is sleeping). That's how we do it. Ask friends, maybe they know a nanny who is looking for a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 03:12 AM Flag
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I agree except I don't give a set amount of sick days. If my nanny is sick, she doesn't come in, but that ends up being like 2 days a year. If you give a set amount of sick days, she will take them whether she is sick or not and, on the flip side, if she is genuinely sick for more than the alotted time, she will come to work sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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Ditto. I am the same as OR except for the sick days as well. Also, our nanny gets about 15 days off a year (about 2 full weeks and scattered days) but it's always when we're away, unless she has some specific days she needs, which she rarely does. -np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.17.08, 04:33 PM Flag
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we pay $10/hr (now $12/hr for two kids), give 4 weeks of vacation, unlimited number of sick days, no bonus, free cell phone, no cleaning, cooking, or doing the laundry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Wow. That's less than what they pay at McDonald's. Do you really value your children so poorly? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 04:46 PM Flag
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Yes, the compensation that both nanny and us agree upon has everything to do with how I value my children. Sure. Welcome to a society that put a Dollars value on everything and anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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Good answer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.14.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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Mcdonald pays less and is on the books so if they even paid 10 dollars it is more like 7 after taxes. 10 off the books is like 15 on. There is a difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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np: as someone who pays less than $10/hr, i can say that it has nothing to do with how much i value my children and very much to do with how much money i earn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 01:13 PM Flag
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thanks. that's massively helpful. none of my NYC friends have kids, so i'm going it alone for now. do you think i should go the agency route, or just hang out at playgrounds trying to pick up disgruntled nannies? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:46 AM Flag
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i think that 2 weeks bonus is very very generous in my circle. we do one and a half. we also do $14/hr. Nanny is also expected to do kids laundry and prepare her lunch and sometimes breakfast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:49 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:52 AM Flag
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ita- better to find a happy nanny and ask if she knows anyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:57 AM Flag
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sitter city is great if you want a college student. www.nycnanny.com is great if you want more of a career nanny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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part time nannys are called babysitters here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:54 AM Flag
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i call my p/t nanny a babysitter, and people think i'm trying to be PC. thing is, since she's part-time, i feel like she is a babysitter...i def do most of the nanny tasks (like prepping meals, laundry, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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As for etiquette- treat a nanny the way you want to be treated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:56 AM Flag
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amen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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You could also start with the mom group Baby Bites. Here's the nanny link: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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http://babybitesnyc.com/nanny.htm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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Based on our experience, the pool of candidates for part-time nannies is very different than the pool of candidates for full-time nannies. Much more difficult to find a really god nanny if you are searching for part-time. You might want to search both full-time and half-time to get just a sense of the type of nannies that are available. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:32 AM Flag
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This is true if OP is looking for profesional nanny, because most of the good ones want to have full-time job and so are not interested in part-time. I think young students are best bet for part-time if OP's kids were preschool or older, but with a baby that may be iffy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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You may be able to find a good nanny (who works for another family in the afternoons) to work in the mornings...not sure how old your DD is or whether she'll be in preschool... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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OP: DD is 14 months old, so not in school yet (can't even face thinking about NYC schooling). we had a nanny-share in London with a family that only needed afternoons. it was a brilliant arrangement but i wasn't sure if the same thing existed here. i'll start hunting. cheers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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Lots of families do nanny sharing. if there's a playgroup network in your neighborhood or even just talking to moms at the park you could find a part time nanny. Also ask other nannies at the park. They always seem to know someone who's looking for work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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I live in Forest Hills and wanted to do a nanny share but surprisingly couldn't find anyone to share with. Ended up with a great woman with 2 school age kids. If you can't find a PT nanny, a stay at home mom might be a good option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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Our nanny is on salary but, we pay her $16 per hour overtime or on weekends. I have used two great agencies- one is called Abby Nanny. You can reach the owner at CZDLutz@yahoo.com and the other agency I used was Pavillion. Both agencies do a great job. Pavillion is expensive but, they did find me a stellar nanny and she stayed with us for 6 years. My current nanny / housekeeper I found through Abby Nanny which is less priecy, CZDLutz@yahoo.com, and we love her ! You can also try gonannies.com but, I didn't get good matches through them. However, my friend found a great nanny on gonannies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.14.08, 11:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone been to Club Med Punta Cana? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:41 PM Flag
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I went this feb. it was good. what would you like to know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:36 AM Flag
[ - ] im so relieved. i screwed up my credit a lot in my younger days (college and right after). after YEARS of working to repair it, we were just approved for a mortgage. feel such a relief... 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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Congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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great - what's your credit score now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:53 PM Flag
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so did I, but I just contested all of it with the credit bureaus and they removed all of the negative info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you hire a very attractive 25 yo live-in nanny? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:47 PM Flag
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nope, and I trust my dh. It just seems like too much temptation. If we had a 25yo gorgeous "manny", I know it would be tempting for me, so why would it be any different with dh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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I wish I had a 25yo gorgeous manny... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:58 PM Flag
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op: that's what I'm worried about it. we are all human. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:14 PM Flag
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If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. It's your house and your kids (and your dh), you have to be comfortable with the person you get. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:17 PM Flag
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how attractive? are we talking about a hot nanny with a nice body or a Victoria Secret look alike? I wouldn't mind hiring a pretty girl with a nice body, my man is amazingly loyal (almost gay), but if I had a nanny that looked like she was straight out of an underwear magazine, I would probably start to feel a bit insecure about my own body...wow...I kind of feel like a bad person now...poor pretty girls...always discriminated against... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:05 PM Flag
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She's 2 inches short of a model.. very lovely. And yes, I feel bad about this too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:13 PM Flag
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I feel for her, but there is no way I would do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:14 PM Flag
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Never - and I trust my dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Need help in grammar here. Is it "program for 2 years old" or "program for 2 year olds" or "program for 2 years olds"? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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the 2nd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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context? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:31 PM Flag
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i was reading material from different schools regarding programs available for my 2 year old and came across the various phrases. I just didn't know which one is correct. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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context is irrelevant. "two year olds" is the only correct option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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lol I love this post! It is very honest. Props to you for asking for advice that many people need help with (myself included oftentimes). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:12 PM Flag
[ - ] I suspect my ds will bomb the ERB (by NYC standards, meaning he will have scatter and won't get an overall high score). He is smart but has very weak fine motor skills. Older dc had the same and looked bad until she took the ISEE (for entry into 6th and up). On that test the kids fill in the bubble with the pencil and it is all academic, weak fine motor skills don't matter any more. Any advice for building up motor skills, or even for getting a clear picture of how bad the ERB score might be for my younger one? How about taking the SB for a preview score? Would that give any real info? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.13.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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its likely not just fine motor skills, but also visuospatial perception that is not developed as yet. harder to prep out developmental differences [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:23 PM Flag
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Weak fine motor only matters on coding. And if kid if THAT bright, he'll STILL get 99/99/99 even if he bombs that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 10:17 PM Flag
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There are smart kids with excellent fine motor skills. TTs will want to cream the top. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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older dd now at Trinity, really, on ISEE the motor part does not matter any more, thank goodness (OP) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.19.08, 08:26 PM Flag
[ - ] DH goes through moods where he hates everything i do and criticizes or doesn't speak at all. Then comes out of it. Impossible to tell what will come next but so exhausting and lonely. Dont want to go to bed until he's asleep. No solution but wait for kids to grow up and leave him. Idea of being alone is exhilarating. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:08 PM Flag
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if you really feel this way, get out now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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When he's normal, he's fine. And our kids would be devastated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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They might hate more being in an unhappy home. I know I did. When I could finally express it I asked my parents to get a divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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How old were you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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10 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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I was so relieved when my parents divorced (I was 7). HOWEVER - they fought like crazy for years after and constantly told us how bad the other person was, so things didn't actually get better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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you would be surprised. My parents divorced when I was 19, and the first thing that I asked my mom is "what took you so long". My dad is untreated manic depressive and treated my mom the way it sounds like you are being treated. Being a doormat teaches kids very bad things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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I was closer to my dad, fyi, and love him dearly still; but I couldn't respect my mom because she put up with his bs towards her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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will he try therapy? he sounds almost bipolar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:10 PM Flag
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I agree but his mom has been in therapy all his life and he does not want to be like her. Doesn't realize he's worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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I don't think that he will get better without meds if he is bipolar [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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ITA! Life is too short and you're not doing your kids any favors if you're that unhappy. Confront him. Tell him it's unacceptable and if he can't correct the behavior, you're out. Remind him of everything he'll be tossing away if he can't figure out a way to stop it. Not just you, but a family unit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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is he a smoker or trying to quit smoking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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what on earth does this have to do with anything? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:13 PM Flag
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I'm sorry OP, I don't really have advice, I know sometimes things are easier said than done...how long has this been going on? If it has been throughout the majority of the relationship I would recommend leaving, but I know that it can be difficult, if not impossible, depending upon the financial situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:10 PM Flag
[ - ] My DD is doing math workbooks at home way above her school grade level. (FYI, she asks to do this work and we have a really great time doing it together. I am NOT forcing it on her AT ALL. I promise...Im hyper aware/paranoid about that). She's literally exploding with the math concepts. But she has no interest in reading. She has all the pre-reading skills, and I bought her some simple, 3-letter word books, but she is not at all interested in trying. When she does try, the moment it gets hard she says she wants to stop (and we do). Just freaked that the math and reading are so out of whack with each other and in the back of my silly, paranoid mind I'm worrying she'll be illiterate. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.13.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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how old is she? I would encourage her love of learning and step back to let reading sink in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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my oldest DS was like this--loved math concepts, but lagged behind on reading. eventually the reading clicked (end of first grade) and he's a great reader now--and the math always remained a natural gift (loaded word, sorry, but you know what i mean). don't worry yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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it is just normal development. some kids take off with visuospatial skills over verbal, some the reverse. later, its reading vs math, or art or whatever. they have multiple things that are developing and most or at least many, have some areas that go faster than others. why so freaked. its normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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my sister has identical twin dds. One is like Op's dd, and the other is an early reader, and does not seem to be interested in, or get math. they are like mirror images of each other...or 2 halves of one brain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:12 PM Flag
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I always sucked in reading/writing in school but excelled in math. Only when I started college I found an interest in books and now I read more than I do math. Of course, my grades in school suffered from this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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...you are raising a math genius! congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:15 PM Flag
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I posted the above...no sarcasm there...be proud, many girls do not embrace math. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 09:16 PM Flag
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My sister didn't read until end of first grade, had great math skills early on. She has an IQ off the charts, has a law degree & is in the midst of writing a very complicated dissertation. Try not to worry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 04:25 AM Flag
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Your child is gifted at math. She likes it and likes that it comes easily. it's natural. REading will come on its own. Don't ask her to do anything that's hard with reading. Break it down into smaller doable pieces. Like teach her to recognize the word THE and count how many THEs are on a page or in a book. Or don't ASK her to read; don't put her in a mode where she has to perform. Just show her things - look at all the words I can make with AT - sat, bat... etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:55 AM Flag
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Literally exploding? Shouldn't you call an ambulance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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My dd is a fluent reader at 4yo but I place more value in math and she's not as interested. You know, in the future (well, even now), those good at math and science will rule the world (or at least get higher paying jobs). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 11:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Just switched to milk with added dha and 15 mo seems to be spitting up more often. any chance they're linked? I can't think of anything else that's different. considering supplements instead... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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I doubt it. fyi, dairy/meat raised my grass-fed cows has a lot more dha and other nutrients, you could try that instead of fortified milk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:03 PM Flag
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not sure I understand - does that mean organic has more dha? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:09 PM Flag
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organic usually isn't actually grass-fed. But organic does have more than conventional. Grass-fed has more than either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:15 PM Flag
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how do i know if the milk in the store is grass-fed? we buy organic milk already. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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at our whole foods and our local organic market, they sell it. It is labeled as grass-fed. If it doesn't say it, than it is almost always still raised in feedlots on corn. The problem is that something in the grass is a main component of omega-3 and dha, and you can't get that from corn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:21 PM Flag
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beef that is grass fed has nearly as much omega-3s as salmon, the reason why beef is so unhealthy now is because it is raised in completely unnatural ways. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:22 PM Flag
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wow - very educational thread for me! I will def. look for grass fed meats and dairy. I'm a little skeptical of the organic craze, but this makes sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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If you're interested, The Omnivore's Dilemma is a fascinating book on the subject. After reading that, I have totally changed my thoughts on the organic movement, but it did really wake me up to the fact that so much of our food is unnatural (even when it is advertised as being organic, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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how old do they have to be for supplements? I saw one with said from 4 mos., but I don't really trust the product. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 08:26 PM Flag
[ - ] ^^sorry, meant for post below 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:48 PM Flag
[ - ] #1 was a preemie. Pg with #2 and I've officially made it past the time #1 was born. Feeling relieved!! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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Congrats. I can imagine that's a huge relief! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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yup :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.13.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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