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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] ok, I am going to try this again (thanks to the help of a poster). I am new on UB so excuse any mistakes. Decided to leave a 2-3T private. Yes, money was an issue but more about value. Just didn't seem that great. Very average. DS got into a citywide that we (and he) loved. Are we making a huge mistake? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Site Feedback 07.14.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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why would it be a mistake to leave a school you don't like for a school you do like, and that could provide a better education? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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I guess reading UB got me a little frightened. Everyone putting down the citywides and how everyone wishes they could do private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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you still need to select "ny schools" when you post ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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Ugh I see! Thanks for helping a newbie. One more try! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:24 AM Flag
[ - ] friend of mine just had a stillborn DD. She has older children, one 4yo and one 14yo. Does anyone know of good books about loss for those ages? TIA 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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are you in nyc? if so, go to bank street school book store. they have the best resources of this type. i'm sorry for your friend's loss - that is just horrific. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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no, not in NYC. I'm going to look on amazon but wanted some personal recomendations too. Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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you might try calling them and asking for titles anyway. bank street is both a school and a training center for teachers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:33 AM Flag
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thanks so much for your help. I may try that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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you're welcome. hope it helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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sorry for your friend's loss. i don't know of any books but this is a great webpage for you to read: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Brochures/how_can_I_help.htm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:16 AM Flag
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thanks. I actually met her at another online support group. (I lost a child too, but I didn't have other children) I will check it out to see if they haev recomendations for books for kids. I lost my first so didn't have this issue. Good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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there is a beautiful book called "the next place" by warren hanson. it's a picture book with lovely, soothing prose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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that looks good. (Just checked it out on amazon) Thanks for the suggestion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:21 AM Flag
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We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schweibert. My friend suffered a stillbirth in Feb. and her kids read this book over & over. Such a sad situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:30 AM Flag
[ - ] Ok, anyone out there? New to UB and thought I would try....Made a decision to leave a 2T private to go to a citywide. I hear how everyone wants private but we weren't impressed. It was ok. It is about money but more about value. We are actually switching because we felt the citywide seemed like a "better" school. Are we crazy? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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go to the ny schools board and you'll likely get better responses to this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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thanks. How do I do that? (sorry to sound so ignorant) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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go to the right "your settings" and check NY Schools (go ahead and do NY too). and sort by recency and then save that as your default. then, when you post this, select the ny schools board as where you want to post it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on who has a hard time letting things go? Had an ugly scene with a friend and while it ended amicably, I'm still really pissed. Not really an option to completely cut her out right now and I LOGICALLY know there is no reason to rehash anything my EMOTIONS want to call her and say "What about THIS? And THIS?!?." I feel like I definitely got the raw end of the deal and I need encouragement to LET IT GO. I'm going to stay busy today but still- how do you bite your tongue. Any mantras for me to repeat? Any help at all? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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did you hurt her feelings? honestly? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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oh i did, for sure. kind of a not what i said but how i said it. but she got her dh involved which is what pisses me off the most. a) i would never have known she was upset if he hadn't gotten involved and b) holy shit- her dh is involved? is this jr high? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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np: sounds like you enjoy the drama? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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what in the world about my post makes it sound like i enjoy the drama? if i enjoyed it, i'd tell her everything on my mind, no problem! i hate the drama. i've just spent a week feeling like i've been ganged up on somehow. i'm working on getting over it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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everything about it reads drama. Can you pull back and revisit the situation in a week & then take it from there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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well - it is a week later. just so you know, the reason i am posting on an anonymous board is to figure this out myself - without involving anyone else - without badmouthing my friend to anyone. if that "reads drama" then fine. but i hope your job doesn't have anything to do with counseling or helping people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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Come on- don't get defensive. What read drama was the run of questions, the capitals, the !?! It's great you are working on it. I'm not a religious person, but I recently read the prayer of St. Francis which says "Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled...as to console. To be understood..as to understand. To be loved as to love....For it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned." When you're always focusing on the raw deal you got, you're making it all about you. Here's another great quote: To ignore the faults in others is greatness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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all that matters, in the end, is that you hurt the feelings of someone you love. you need to take responsibility for that and let her know you're sorry that you hurt her feelings and that, for whatever reason, she apparently didn't feel safe enough to tell you directly. if you were on your death bed, that's all that would matter: making sure that someone you love knows you love them. the rest is just static. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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you're welcome. feeling self-righteous is always a red-flag for me that i am forgetting the above and getting dug in to a self-centered perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:14 AM Flag
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np well said. You are so right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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Well then, good thing he did get involved. You never would have known she was upset otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:22 AM Flag
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Try Pema Chodron's book- Don't Bite the Hook [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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letting go is like forgiveness. Neither is a one time thing. They both require multiple acts of will. Just keep trying. Remind yourself it doesn't matter in the end. Make yourself think of 3 positive things about her and the relationship everytime you have a negative thought about her. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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good advice. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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you are totally me. i keep going over tense issues over and over in my head. going through one right now with a friend that is being really passive aggressive. free time is my enemy to dwell on it. i just stay busy and remind myself of the good times of the past and am learning to let the friendship end gracefully. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:20 AM Flag
[ - ] best music classes to try out for 20mo? gymboree, what else? I'm new at this. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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hated gymboree. Love music together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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Thanks! I'll try MT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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HATE music together! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:07 AM Flag
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op: oh, then what is good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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np: why do you need classes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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I love MT. try out a sample class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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np: I didn't like either of them, but MT is the lesser of two evils. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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curious? why do you think you need a class? there's nothing wrong with them but i'd so much rather just do stuff with my kids. are you looking to meet other parents? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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we really want to get him started in a music class, since he loves music. our nanny could continue going with him, but I'd like to try it first with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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alternately- you could get a bunch of instruments and put on your cds and play together. Or go to outdoor concerts, festivals at museums and stuff. Just my personal opinion, but MT classes feel really corny and the child isn't really learning how to make or play music. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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great point. there are some good concerts in the parks this week we were planning to attend. Now, where to find a box of musical instruments.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:19 AM Flag
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any toys store will have some maracas, a harmonica, or a drum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:23 AM Flag
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IMO, Gymboree is the best bang for your buck. You can do a sample music class and a sample gym class to see how you like it. And once you're enrolled in the class, you can go anytime during "free gym" hour to hang out. That alone has been a lifesaver for us on crummy weather days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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I love The Art Farm classes in general, but only if it's near where you live. If you enroll in a class they have drop-in on the other days. Drop in is pet animals, do an art project, "cook" something, then music. It's amazing in the winter. I think Music for Aardvarks is fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Nanny is on vacation this week. Dh & I are splitting the week with our 20month old. Any classes we should try? We're very excited to have this extra time with db. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:52 AM Flag
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i would just be present and go to the playground. perhaps storytime at the library. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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^^ and enjoy - it's a great age! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:57 AM Flag
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That is what he does everyday - playground and library. I am thinking of taking him to a music class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:03 AM Flag
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music together is great. but I agree with the poster above, just do what he usually does. He will be thrilled to be doing it with you and you should see what his normal day is like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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There are some fun events in the parks. Check out this months NY Kids magazine for listing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Mine are UES-centric but here are some ideas: 92nd St Y drop-in playtime MWF is sweet; Swimming at Asphalt Green community time TuesThurs 4pm; Central Park Sandbox series - FREE concerts in Central Park. Rhinelander water play time is also in the afternoon and drop-in. I love Victorian Gardens in CP. If you are downtown Karma Kids Yoga (haven't tried), the playspace on Perry Street, and The Children's Museum of the Arts have drop-in classes. Have fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 07:15 AM Flag
[ - ] ^ anyone?!! 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:51 AM Flag
[ - ] If I miss taking my birth control pill at night...and remember to take it only the next afternoon...do I still take the next one at night? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:47 AM Flag
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What does the instruction leaflet say? Different pills have different instructions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. 6 yo boy is acting like what I had imaged a 14 year old would be like. Eye rolling, bad attitude, only happy when he is getting something. Please let me know how I can get my sweet boy back - any books, suggestions, btdt deeply appreciated. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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Also have a 6 y.o. DS here. The first time he said "whatever" he went straight to his room. I'm trying to nip it in the bud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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You are me. I'm going back to 123 Magic now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:24 AM Flag
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Oh thank goodness--we are not the only one! Also have a 6 yo with same symptoms. I know I am not helping because I am so annoyed. I just start doling out the consequences, but not helping so far. What do you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:38 AM Flag
[ - ] he does know - we were both trying. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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i'm sorry, i don't get it: why can't you deal with telling him, then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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^and how about posting all this on one thread so we can both follow it more easily? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:47 AM Flag
[ - ] we were trying. of course he was! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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then why will it be hard to tell him the good news? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:42 AM Flag
[ - ] I found mouse droppings in the bottom of a box of DC's toys in the basement. I cleaned with Clorax Wipes. Do you think they are safe now to play with? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.14.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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run through dishwasher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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ITA and I would toss anything made of fabric [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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Really? I rinsed with hot water afterwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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dishwasher will help sanitize thoroughly. you can't be too careful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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washed with Clorox should be fine, but I would toss fabric things like stuffed animals--blanket type things should be fine if washed in the machine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:49 AM Flag
[ - ] DH has never been into sex, always been an issue in our marriage for 6 years, all of a sudden we have been having sex 2-3 times a week for the past 2 months...I know this sounds crazy, but I am almost suspicious he is having an affair...he now initiates all the time, doesn't make sense and I have asked him why all of a sudden...though have said I love it etc. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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this IS actually one sign of an affair. hope not for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:40 AM Flag
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do you know this from experience or just, like me, assume it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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i have read this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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has anything else changed recently? New job? health issues good or bad? Exercise or diet changes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:43 AM Flag
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Wow, you could be me. I thought I was the only one whose husband wasn't into sex. We haven't had that surge but you give me hope. Have you asked him whats up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:42 AM Flag
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Yes, and he doesn't really answer - he's really a sweet guy, great husband...so not sure why I think affair, just doesn't make sense...how often do you have sex? are you the initaiter?> [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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2x a year...I posted here yesterday about offering my DH a bj...which he has yet to take me up on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:46 AM Flag
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I WISH I had that problem! It horrible. If we never had sex again I'd be happy. I just feel so gross at the end of the day--tired, kids wear me out! I just want to be left alone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:48 AM Flag
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ita with it being a possible sign of an affair. signed, psychotherapist mom who hopes she is wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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another thought? Has bhe gotten precribtion fro meds that would assist his performance, thuis boosting his libido and sexual confidence? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:06 AM Flag
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np: this is what i was thinking. an increase in testostorone also increases sex drive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 06:38 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone been to Real Birth on 9th Ave for creative play or open play? Good for 21month old? Or boring? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:35 AM Flag
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I went to 22nd st RB. Liked the classes. Love developmental movement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:36 AM Flag
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op: I'm wondering if there is more to the store at 9th Ave, like a downstairs. I didn't see much of a play area when I was in the store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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yes, there are two BIG classrooms in the back of the store, and another classroom downstairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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Thanks! I'll take him today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:50 AM Flag
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I just took the childbirth class there! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Moving to Westport CT and want to try and get a babysitter for 3 afternoons (or maybe 2) a week from like 12-6...how much do you think I will have to pay?? TIA 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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$15/hr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:34 AM Flag
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also, what's the best way to find someone?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:38 AM Flag
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ad in local paper; word-of-mouth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:39 AM Flag
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you can try sittercity.com and Fairfield U has a sitter list that you can buy. Staples High School also has a list, if you are willing to use a high school student for occasional babysitting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:45 AM Flag
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Nannies as Needed is also good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.15.08, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Need to get 2 cars, moving to burbs - what kind of car do you have and do you like it? Have 3 kids, and clueless about cars...TIA 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:28 AM Flag
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my dh has a little saab that he drives ot trian or to work. that is leased. He loves it and it is fun to get a new car every 2 or 3 years since he leases. I drive an Acura MDX (which we own outright) and I lvoe it (pg with #3 BTW). not sure if it si the best for 3 kids, quite frankly minivan is probably the way to go for more than 2 kids, but I just am not ready to make that plunge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.14.08, 05:33 AM Flag
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