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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] true or false: The Breakfast Club is a classic. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Very, very, very true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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definitely true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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true, and Sixteen Candles as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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did you see the jcpenney ad too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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yes! lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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watching project runway too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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no, baby borrowers. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I understand that for some here traveling with a 7 and 9 year to foreign countries sounds like a nightmare and would rather go to Disney. But for those of you with an adventurous spirit looking to instill that spirit in their children and are willing to forego some inconveniences where have you or where would you take your children. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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I think 3 and 5 is great for Disney, 7 and 9 is good for Europe. We have been several times because we have family there, but it is hard with younger kids. At that age I'd take the kids wherever you want to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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And there is Disney in Europe, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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skip it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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yes but unless you have a week in Paris, I would not waste a day on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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i'd take my children any place i'd be interested in going myself. we only get to travel to dh's home country b/c once we do our yearly trip there, we have no more travel budget. but i don't think any particular country is more suited to kids than any other country. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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I live in NY but I'm from Europe so I wouldn't hesitate to take my kids there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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We have taken our dd (almost 10)to France, England, Korea and Mexico. Our ds (almost 3) came home from Korea at 6 1/2 months and has only been to Mexico. We are taking both kids to France and Italy at the end of the summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Mexico is wonderful for children (they even have a Children's Day holiday). Venice is magic, but don't go in summer. I think ages 11 and 12 are optimum for travel with children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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Most countries are more kid-friendly than the US. I took my 5 & 1yo to Brazil in March. They loved it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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My friend just came back from Costa Rica with her ds and they had a blast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Agree with the Venice posting. Italy is great; your kids will suprise you with their knowledge of the region. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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I've traveled with my children all over Europe (and South America, and Asia) since they were 6 weeks old. I cannot imagine a better way to introduce them to all the world has to offer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Going in for gestational diabetes test tomorrow. Directions say no food or water after midnight. This is a new doctor but I don't remember not being allowed water before a g/d test. Anyone else? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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I think that is what I was told too. I hope your appointment is early in the day. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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thanks - it's at 8:30am. i'm just cranky about it b/c i'm hormonal and used to eating within minutes of my feet hitting the floor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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or. I'm the same I can't get going without my breakfast! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations on potty training chair or seat for adult toilet? Which worked for you? We have a dd if that makes any difference. Thanks. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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I didn't get a potty. Ds uses Bjorn seat on regular toilet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Wonder what the UB Number were prior to the relaunch and now- seems like there are never any people on here anymore 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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ita. I'd love to know the stats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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ita. on old UB I could post a quick, practical question and get a fair amt of responses. Now, I only get responses if something about the post inflames someone. Not nearly the useful site it once was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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np: ita - it seems like you only get responses if you're rude or your dh is cheating on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Twin Moms- Any advice for stretching out feedings? My twins are 6 wks. We are currently feeding every 3 hrs. Thanks. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Not a twin Mom but I am a Mom and 3 hourly feedings are normal up until about 4mo. Sorry if I've missed the point of your post as I have no experience of twins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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not a twin mom but every 3 hours at 6 wks is about as stretched as it's going to get. i know if you're b/fing especially, you want more of a break but my kids were still eating every 3 hrs at 10-12 wks - at least during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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twin m om here: just feed on demand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:56 PM Flag
[ - ] dd is 14mo, (I realize this is WAY to early to potty train) is there anything wrong with getting a training potty and putting it in her bathroom? She likes sitting in her little play chair, would she just equate it to another chair or would me talking about it being a "potty" guide her into understanding? She knows I go to the potty and is with me sometimes so I didn't see any harm in her having her own. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Many people start potty training at 12 mos. So I don't see the harm in giving her a potty chair and letting her get comfortable with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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wow, I haven't done any research on training and didn't realize people started this early. dd is very verbal and might actual "get it" a little if she had her own potty. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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Russians potty train early. Indians too. I trained ds when he was 14 mos because we were living abroad and had no access to disposable diapers (and no washer/dryer or diaper service). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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sounds good to me - i have a 14mo db too. anything to avoid the whole potty=scary thing seems like a good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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i, personally, hate dragging it out. i don't even bring out the potty seat until my child has expressed lots of interest in using the potty. i want it to be new and exciting. but that's my personality. everyone i know who has started p/t before 2 yrs is experiencing the same number of accidents at 2.5 that my kids are who don't start p/t until 2.5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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how many kids do you have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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no at all. she ought to get friendly with it. maybe having a teddy sit on it and pretending it eliminates and have her play at wiping the teddy. anything to get her interested in a positive way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible to still be in love with someone you haven't seen in 15 years or am I just going through a mid-life crisis? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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I love my hubby dearly but I still think about my highschool bf we dated 5 years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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I love DH as well but the one I think about I really believe was my soul-mate although not sure he thinks about me that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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In all honesty I'd say you can love the memory of what someone was 15ys ago but that doesn't translate to the situation now. Sounds like you are in contact though which maes it more complicated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Suggest some private school admission season etiquette for the total newbie - to avoid faux pas and hurt feelings. 66 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.23.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Never mention Urban Baby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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Don't brag, don't assume everyone wants to hear about the admissions process, and don't insult other people's choices/options/philosophies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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This is good, especially last part - most people have very strong convictions (or lack them completely, making them overly sensitive and seemingly most strongly opinionated) about how/why their children should be educated a certain way. Don't let other people get to you and do what you think best for your family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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Never offer your dc's erb score (or SB). Never ask another dc's erb score. Don't ask where they're applying to. Don't offer where your dc is applying to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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why on earth wouldn't you ask where people are applying? everyone applies to the same schools anyway. hardly telling or competive. people have lost their minds. now you can't even discuss the schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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Well, you would think that but it's actually annoying to be asked where we're applying to - could be indicative of how dc did on ERB (if full of TTs or only 4th tiers). For whatever reason, people find it a sensitive topic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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but the truth is, most people apply broadly. I would not read anything into it. but it is true that people are extremely sensitive...often for very little reason. it has gotten very weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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But if half the schools or more are TTs, you know it's telling. Also, if you are applying to all the same schools, for the same gender dc's, it could create a competitive feeling. In my experience, I was more relaxed around parents of dc's of opposite gender. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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maybe in the past, but most people do apply broadly. if I say to someone we are only applying to coeds, I am not disparaging their choice to apply to ss. we can always talk about the coeds if they are applying to those as well. seriously, people are way too on edge. no one is trying to harm them. its a difficult process, with many unknowns. people like to discuss this to alleviate anxiety or commiserate. to behave so artificially is weird to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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I know, but I found so many people (totally normal people) who freaked out and turned into neurotic people during the school admission season. What can I say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:34 PM Flag
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np We didn't apply broadly. And people asked where we were applying. No one knew my kid's erbs (which were 99x3) and they all said dc would "get in everywhere" because, even at 4, he was exceptionally bright. Getting in "everywhere" was an exaggeration, but dc did well. I think--unless a kid is connected--it's pretty clear who's going to end up at tt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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it always amazes me how people take their example of one and generalize. I know several kids who were not outstanding in any way, who got top spots. I know others who were outstanding but did so so. there are many factors, and the fact that you did well in the process probably was the result of some of these factors. It really isn't rocket science, but blanket statements like yours, generalizing from your personal experience are useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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LOL. I didn't generalize any more than anyone else in this thread. For example, saying that "everyone" applies broadly is patently false. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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At a general parent info meeting, please don't ask questions that are specific to your child! You look like a suck up and probably a big PITA. Save it for your interview. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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don't disparage any other schools duuring interviews/tours, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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np: don't disparage any schools at all. i did this while going through the process, not realizing people were sensitive about any and everything. did not win me any points. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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Qn: what do you do when the school people disparage other schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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never happened to me, but I suppose I would look interested in what they have to say, say nothing other than "oh, really?" I might take it as a sign that they were recruiting me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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Funny, a mom on a tour did that to us. Dc was rejected from that school. (the one that made the disparaging remarks) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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well, if you read the recent posts on this board, never mention the school you get into, especially if TT or anderson. You will be thought of as a terrible, competetive woman whose entire identity is invested in her dc's school. the school will be bashed, and you will be discussed on UB for the transgression. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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NEVER tell anyone about your legacy status. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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That' a really good point, thanks - I'll have to remember that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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only apply to schools where you would realistically send dc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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Sometimes you don't know that until you apply. We applied to a school that I thought based on reputation & because many of the parents "seemed" to have similar values to us. I could not run away fast enough from that school, but didn't figure that out until after play date/tour/etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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so withdraw. you just don't want to end up with that as your only option or have to deal with psd playing you off someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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don't take notes on tours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Why not? As long as you don't slow anyone down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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you seriously have to ask why not? it makes you look like a nut job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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Oh please. I saw several people taking notes and I didn't think they were nutjobs. I got too lazy to do the same but after all the tours, I couldn't remember who said what and what each school was like (including the names of people you have to send TY notes). So, I think they were pretty smart to write it all down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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so you do it after. just during the tour is a little strange. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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I was impressed by the moms who took notes (didn't see any dads doing it) But for the thank you notes, you get a card from anyone you would have to send one to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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Actually, at many schools, the tour guides didn't give me cards. I think only Spence did. Maybe Chapin, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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You don't need to thank the tour guide, just the interviewer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Yes. And mention tour guides. That's what we did. Worked out well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 09:36 PM Flag
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Some people are not in it to make themselves look cool or graceful. Some people are notetakers and schools don't think you're nutjob. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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ok, keep telling yourself that. it makes you look a little too eager. but if you want to be a notetaker, by all means go for it. it isn't that hard to make notes afterwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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A few schools will encourage you to take notes and offer paper. If they do this, then it's fine. Otherwise, it really does make you look like a PITA. As soon as you get home from the tour, write down everything you can think of. You'll still remember the key things and it's incredibly valuable to have these notes to refer to for interviews, thank you notes at the end of the process, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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get a babysitter for your kids during tours, etc. where kids aren't welcome. if a playdate, only take the dc who is applying to the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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You saw people with kids on tours? And sibs at play dates? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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np; I saw people who brough DB sibs. One with a stroller no less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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Really? We applied to 13 schools & toured more and never saw this. I cannot believe someone would have the nerve to do that - I guess I can believe it because I think you are telling the truth, but, wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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the only school where I saw this was at the School at Columbia. There were numerous professor types who looked like they just rolled out of bed, grabbed their toddler and baby and came on over. I was surprised by how ungroomed many were, and how they seemed to have no regard for others by bringing their screaming sib babies along. knew it wasn't for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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OMG, this makes me feel good about having gone public, where it doesn't matter how well groomed we are or if we bring screaming sibs on tours. I have an only, and he was never a screamer, but I'd totally understand if a mom brought a younger sib on a tour. It's a school tour, not a job interview. If DC gets accepted, you pay THEM 30K/yr, more than most New Yorkers earn in a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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^^ I should clarify that any school (public or private) that offers tours and specifically states that children are not welcome is a different story. But unless a school specifically says "please, no children on tours," they should be prepared to welcome children, or at least not make them feel unwelcome. These are SCHOOLS after all, they exist to serve children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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well, gee. guess you did not learn that adult school tours exist to educate the adults about the school. I found it very distracting and disruptive to have a couple of sleepy eyed, screaming kids in footy PJs there. I think the parents showed no respect for the other people on the tour, or for the school personnel trying to run the event. the schools may exist to serve kids, but in order to do that well, they must inform their parents. guess you would have fit well there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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I think if you go for a formal tour of a school, you should at least brush your hair, or groom your scraggly beard. maybe even pull on clean clothes. but then again I may be picky [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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I totally agree with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:55 PM Flag
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This is nuts. We are in public and siblings are not allowed on tours. Tours go through classrooms while school is in session and who wants the constant disruption for the kids who are trying to learn. Open house at night is one thing, but kids or siblings don't belong on tours, in public or private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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I don't care about grooming aspect. Who cares? But what's relevant here is that the tours require you to walk up and down the stairs and in and out of classrooms. If you have a db in a Bugaboo, there is no way you can move with the group. Tour groups don't take the elevator and when you go into classrooms, you have to be quiet not to disturb the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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but the lack of grooming was just emblematic. these people were entitled and disrespectful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:43 PM Flag
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I saw two babies on tours. Both downtown schools, FWIW. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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Wow--this is all making me so glad I don't live in NYC. The most expensive private schools in my town are 6K per year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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But our public schools here in NYC cost the same as your public schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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not really. we donate thousands just to help the school keep some extras...extras that are a given at most publics around the country [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:41 PM Flag
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This is in your town? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:49 PM Flag
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my town: NYC! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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Write a thank you note. I believe the general rule of thumb is after you have completed the process (tour, interview, playdate), but I think you can also do it after the interview. Doesn't matter if it's typed or handwritten. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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np After interview--even if playdate is later (you mention that you're looking forward to bringing kid to the school). We did our thank yous ASAP after the interview--a few that day, some a week. As soon as we could get to them. Once you've had that one on one (or two, I guess) contact, it's best to get that note in while you're still a fresh memory. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:06 AM Flag
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Tour guide mom here: turn off your phone, don't check your blackberry 19,000 times during a tour (if it's that important, go to work), don't insult or argue with the tour guide (you can't imagine), don't compare the school you are on to other schools you've seen during the tour (for better or for worse), please don't bring your baby (even in a bjorn), be polite and pleasant, and please pay attention. Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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People argue with you? About what? I guess we were lucky, on all the tours that we went on with other parents, every one was falling over to be polite to each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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np At HM a few years ago, one couple was late. Guide waited, then finally started after 15 or 20 mins. When couple caught up, the dad didn't even look up from his Blackberry. SO rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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Why can't I bring my baby in a Bjorn? He'll be sleeping anyway. What is it? It doesn't *look* good? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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np LOL. I had an infant when #1 went through process. NEVER dawned on me to bring her on tours or to interviews. PSD didn't mention a thing; it's COMMON SENSE not to bring a baby. You're there to focus on the school (as are other parents--not to mention current students!) and bringing a child is just, well, stupid--especially if you have to feed him/her or change a diaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:14 PM Flag
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I think people are stupid enough to think the guide won't say anything about bad behavior to the admissions office! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:16 PM Flag
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Either find a friend you can share with or go to UB. Don't bore the rest of us with all of your neurosis and fears. We didn't apply to privates, so I think some of my friends felt more comfortable talking with me since I didn't have a dog in that fight. I wished them well but after a while it is just boring to an outsider. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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Remember that it isn't entirely about you or your child - the school is looking for an entire class makeup, and don't be hurt (well, try not to be) if your child isn't part of it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:03 PM Flag
[ - ] nursing question, do you drink and then nurse? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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I'm going to give this post the benefit of the doubt that it is serious! Keep well hydrated when nursing. It's really fine to drink anytime unless it's alcohol of course! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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pump and dump [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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yes. i'd have a glass of wine or a beer without changing my nursing schedule. however, if i went out for the night and really drank a bunch, then i'd pump and dump. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:41 PM Flag
[ - ] what's the average cost of finishing a very small room in a basement? 15' by 6', need floor, walls, ceiling. no lighting or plumbing needed...boston area. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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Hmmm...in the basement, you mean it's an addition? What's there now? Do you have to dig more foundation? Not enough info... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 07:40 AM Flag
[ - ] I just found out I am pregant and my husband said he isn't comfortable with a male OBGYN. I think that is a bit controling- has anyone else dealt with this? What are your thoughts? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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this seems controlling. Is your current gyn a man and he wants you to switch? This is HIS issue to get over, not yours to deal with. Go to the best doc or the doc you want to... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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not to sond fembot but when he is pregnant, he can choose. i'd tell him to stfu [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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What are his concerns? Is he very insecure? I would not change but my dh would never ask me to. Then again my dh has no idea who my ob is! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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your dh has never met your ob? never come to appts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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Nope. Didn't come to the births either (by mutual consent). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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May I ask why? Just curious...and how did you feel about this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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I didn't want him (or anyone else there) I'm quite private and independent and he said he didn't like the idea of seeing me in pain and all the mess. I know this makes me seem like a nutter but I'm not at all! Btw I think my dh is fantastic too and he's a great dad - just not into the messy side of things! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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thanks for sharing. that sounds tremendously lonely to me (and I'm very private and independent too), but to each their own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:38 AM Flag
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My DH was very upset that I had a male OB/GYN. Then he met the lovely, paternal, 60-something man and changed his mind. I think he had visions of Brad Pitt starting at my naked body. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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any man who is upset that his wife has a male ob-gyn clearly has had ZERO experience in the medical field. The whole thought of any mans concern about this is laughable, unless he happens to have a wife who has a weird pelvic exam fetish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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np: actually, many of my friends have talked about developing crushes on their OBs during their pregnancies. maybe OP's dh heard someone talking about this? it would be absurd in my case and tg, my dh wouldn't care anyway. but i'm just saying that maybe her dh is young and insecure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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I had an affair with my OB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Call it what you want. I called it an affair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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really?!? what happened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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isn't comfortable or is exercising a veto? i think the first is normal and not unusual. (not common but not unusual). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Strikes me as a bizarre response. Does he understand that your relationship will be no more sexual than with a dentist? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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Funny because it's only in recent years that you have enough female OBs to make it a real option. Still- is he blue collar or an immigrant? Sounds like an odd fear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 09:52 PM Flag
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And of course only the working class and great unwashed have odd fears. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:38 PM Flag
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while in medical school I met so many disrespectful male OBGYNs (also some nice ones, but most were horrible, therefore I will never go to one myself, but this is my decision, I would not let my dh decide for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 01:24 AM Flag
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i agree - from what i saw in med school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 02:43 AM Flag
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I agree, my OB/GYN was flirting with me, badly, quite pervy. Now I hear he has done it with many other patients. I think that one was a closet gay and I most of them are. There is just something very abnormal about it. PS. I am with a different GYN now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 06:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anybody know how to do a background check for a new nanny? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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There is probably a direct way to do it that I don't know about but I do know that you can hire a company to do the checks for you. Some of the babyproofing companies will do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there really a day camp in or near riverdale that costs 18k??? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.23.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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I hope not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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I doubt it.. I think I read that Tripp Lake, dubbed The Harvard of SLEEPAWAY camps was $10 or $12. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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did you read the article about the guy who had been a counselor there for 14 years who was arrested for molesting a little girl, 8 years old? It had been going on for 3 years. Not at the camp, obviously (they don't have 5 year olds at Tripp) but still, it totally freaked me out. I mean, if that camp doesn't know how to vet it's counselors, what camp does? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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the Riverdale camp costs like third of that, so I doubt it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 06:39 AM Flag
[ - ] no flames pls--when we had our twins 2 1/2 yrs ago, we had a baby nurse for the first month who changed their diapers overnight before handing them to me to nurse--this was two-three times per night. The nurse we had for the following month did not do this. I'm due soon with a singleton. I plan to nurse, and don't want a baby nurse for more than a couple of weeks if I am recuperating from a Csection. Do I change the baby's diaper during the night, or can I just roll over, pick up baby, nurse, and go back to sleep? I assume if poopy, I will change, but otherwise will leave alone. Thanks for refraining from flaming. 62 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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I thought baby nurses stayed w/ baby in basinet in livingroom or someplace like that and brougth baby to you if they needed to be nursed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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good grief a baby nurse sleeping on the sofa in the living room. now I've heard it all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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what is teh 'job' of a baby nurse then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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Where else would they sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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That is very common in NYC where the apts are small. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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if your place is that small, you do not need a nurse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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np: How do you figure? I have a one bedroom apartment and I needed a nurse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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sorry, but I am totally not getting the logic here - since when is apartment size related to need for a baby nurse? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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nnp: I do see it, maybe not for a week or two but our neighbor paid for baby nurse for 3 months and had her living in their living room while complaining about the cost and how crowded they are. We have a 3BR and it never occured to me to get a nurse because I'd hate someone living with us. But other people don't care about this stuff, obviously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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sorry, but size of space has no bearing on the work of a baby nurse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Because those of us with small apartments are better positioned to care for a newborn while recovering from childbirth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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lol - yes - you're apt is so small that you clearly sleep sitting on the toilet with db in the sink so no need to be up and about. how easy is that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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you sound like a crazy pregnant person. your post makes no sense. what are you asking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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what is the point of a baby nurse if you are changing diapers and getting up all night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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I would not be changing the diapers when the nurse is there. This is for after the nurse leaves, which I hope will be after two weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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The entire point of a baby nurse (as opposed to a full time nanny) is that they do the nighttime hours for you - only exception is nursing - but they do diapers, burping, etc. That said when I nursed at night at the beginning I often would change db's diaper in the middle to wake db up so db nursed long enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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Thank you. Of course, while the nurse is there, she'll do the changing. I think the first baby nurse changed diapers for the same reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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How lazy are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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np: How is this lazy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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I'm not getting into a fight with you. Think what you want. The baby nurse was worth every penny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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Why does one need a baby nurse? I'm genuinely asking...pregnant with #1, both upper class professionals, just can't see why we would need one... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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that's because you don't need one. If you have an involved and participating DH, you don't need any help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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ok, good to know. husband works in finance and all the men tell him he HAS to get a baby nurse. He thinks it's ludicrous too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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If he works in finance he is probably going back to work fairly quickly? Is he going to want to be up 2-3 times per night to change and feed the baby only to get up in a few hours to be in conference calls or meetings all day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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op: my dh is in finance and everyone gets a baby nurse. It is a little out of control. I was grateful for our first nurse, and definitely want a nurse in the beginning for #3, but don't want one for months as most of his coworkers have had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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thanks for responding...I clearly should have asked my question in a new thread. My sister has twins and I would have a baby nurse too with twins, or with #3 with twin toddlers...I just don't understand the logic of a baby nurse for a first singleton...just seems like something people with means do, regardless of whether it's necessary for them personally (and I don't want to fall into that trap). Thanks, OP! Good luck with #3... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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np: Some people do it just because they see everyone else doing it. We did not and it was absolutely fine, no issues at all. In fact I would have hated having someone with me all the time. But I nursed and more or less co-slept for the first 2 months, if you are nursing baby nurse is much more of a waste than if you are not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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Op told her story - she had twins and now is having a c section. What is the mystery here? Your poor reading comprehension? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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You don't. If you had twins I can see it might be helpful but really for a single you don't. GL btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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OP is having a c section. Do you know what that is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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two c sections here... no help either time. If your DH helps, you'll be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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op: I think this is key. My dh would love to help, in theory. In practice, he is exhausted when not getting up to take care of a baby, it is not is greatest strength, and as he has many other great qualities as husband and dad, I accept. If you've got a dh who will make sure you get some sleep too, the need for a night nurse will be less. FWIW, I still have two toddlers I will have to take of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I would see if you can get some help for the toddlers... if you can get someone to take them off your hands and keep them on their schedules while you recover, I think you will be much better off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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2 c-section myself no help and DH never gt up w/ babies since he worked and I was home, you can do it people have for MANY years, but if you can afford and want a baby nurse fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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did you have twins? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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no, i don't know what that is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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So that you can get some sleep and recover from the delivery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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op: The first baby nurse we had with the twins was a tremendous help. We didn't (and still don't) have family nearby, and my dh is a great husband and father, but not a "baby person" in anyway--he was beyond clueless, I was nursing and exhausted, and there were two of them. With #3, I want to be able to make the transition for my toddlers as easy as possible--they'll be starting preschool, and I want someone I trust to simply hand the baby to in the beginning. I'll probably pump for one night feed so that I get some extra sleep, and lastly, I may be recuperating from a csection. A good nurse is a great help. A bad nurse--or one who is bad company should be canned immediately. GL to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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You will finally be able to chuckle at this post about 6 months after you've had the baby. I thought similarly but once I had #1 I completely understood why people have them and said I would never do it again without one. In the end I decided not to get one with #2 but I completely understand why people do. It's a lot harder than you think to deal with a screaming baby when you haven't had more than a few hours sleep for days or weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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right, but isn't that called parenting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP has 2 y/0 twins and is having a c section. You have no idea what you're talking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Yes, but it is completely understandable why people get baby nurses. Will you survive to tell about it if you don't? Yes. Will you recover more quickly from the birth and enjoy the first few months more if you have one? Yes. In all honesty, the first few months with a newborn can be very tough so I don't see the need to be heroic and go without help if you can afford it. In my case we didn't have the space and didn't want to spend the money but if circumstances were different I see nothing wrong with getting one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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np: Actually, there is another important consideration. Sleep deprivation makes PPD and PPP more likely and exacerbates the condition if it does develop. Having a nurse can be the difference between a mentally healthy mother who can care for her baby and a mother who is hospitalized for PPD or PPP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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totally, you are right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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np: Only in post-Victorian Western Culture are women expected to give birth then care for their babies without help. For most of history, and currently in most of the world, women have help. When I had my babies, I did nothing but nurse for the first month. My mother and aunts did the rest. That's just how we do it in my homeland. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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itta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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itta, you are absolutely right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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martyr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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You don't need one. This is not about you. You are not having and do not have 2 1/2 y/o twins. You are not having a c section. You have a dh in finance, that's about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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We did not w/ #1. When #2 came along I was initially resistant to having a night nurse. But then I was the one up all night every night and I wasn't able to parent well during the day--and #1 had a rough transition to being a big brother. Having the extra sleep made a huge difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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you may not NEED one but it sure makes everything easier and happier, especially if you don't have family around to help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Not sure if I understand your post exactly, but if you're asking if you need to change dbs diaper at night, if there is no nurse there to change, it, then I would definitelys say yes. If db is left in a wet diaper, it will effect the quality of his/her sleep and could cause diaper rash, not to mention, it really takes just a couple seconds to do-just a drop in the bucket sleep wise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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thank you. Is there a point when you would want to stop doing this? I know some people who think the baby will sleep better if you don't change them. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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I changed dbs diaper every time it was wet and still do (its esp. good to do this at the beginning because you can track how many wet diapers there are per day), but if the diaper was dry, I wouldn't change it just for the sake of changing it when nursing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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diaper change at first midnite feed worked for me - i hadn't gone to bed yet, i'd slide diapers off/on gentle as could be, of course baby will slowly waken, by then a nipple is in her mouth and she'd dreamfeed back to sleep. 15 min later i was in bed. diaper changes at super wee hours never worked for me - too groggy, too clumsy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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np: I think some babies care, especially those with sensitive skin. Mine don't have sensitive skin so I only changed if they pooped during the night. Often times they would fall asleep while nursing and last thing I wanted to do was to wake them up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Oh my good god, OP. Sorry that you had to explain (and re-explain) why you're getting a baby nurse. Obviously, this is your decision and you're entitled to it. Let me see if I can answer your question. I had a c-section and by the 2nd and 3rd weeks I was totally ok to roll over and nurse the baby. And I dont think I ever changed her in the middle of the night unless there was poop or a very saturated diaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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i changed baby if he was soaked, otherwise just put him back in bassinet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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what happened to people taking care of their own babies?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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people with nurses still take care of their babies, i wish i had one, it would have saved me literally, my baby couldn't sleep due to medical issue we discovered later, i was up for three months straight, people need nurses for many reasons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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Brad and Angie- is that you?????? Welcome to UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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OK, first of all, if you're on your own, no baby nurse, yes, it's fine to just change them if they're poopy. (Unless you discover they have sensitive skin and get diaper rash.) Just make sure to use Balmex whenever you change them to help prevent diaper rash, but think of it this way, once they start sleeping through the night, they'll be in a wet diaper all night long, so it doesn't really hurt them. Those diapers can hold a ton of liquid. (Obviously, poopy, you have to change.) But if you do have a baby nurse, they should definitely be expected to do the nightime diaper changes for you. That's the main thing they can do at night if you are EBF, that and put the baby back to sleep. It's an expected part of their job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Is this odd? My nanny, who works the same hours every day, said it was stressful not knowing who would be home with ds when she arrives in the am (me or dh) or who would be home in the evening when she leaves (again, me or dh). Why should she care? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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did you ask her why she is so concerned? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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I did. She just said it was stressful. DH and I don't want dc with a nanny too many hours, so one of us goes in late in the morning and one comes home early. But we figure out who will do what on which days based on our work demands that week. Stressful for us? Yes. Her? I can't see why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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I would ask her... but she probably is stressed because the messages she gets from you and DH are probably different or not shared with each other. happens in my house.. .sometimes there is miscommunication. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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this amkes me a bit suspicious of her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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I don't know...ASK her! Talk about it.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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does your dh make her nervous for some reason? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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She probably relates differently to you and dh, and needs to prepare herself one way or another. Maybe she's just shy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:47 PM Flag
[ - ] What temp do you keep your thermostat at during the day? night? keep mine at 77 day, 74 night...normal? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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depends on the temp outside. ours is on a timer. we work. usually about 74 in dd's room, 72 in our room and 69 in living room/kitchen/office area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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