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07.23.08, 17:52 PM General Topics
62 replies
no flames pls--when we had our twins 2 1/2 yrs ago, we had a baby nurse for the first month who changed their diapers overnight before handing them to me to nurse--this was two-three times per night. The nurse we had for the following month did not do this. I'm due soon with a singleton. I plan to nurse, and don't want a baby nurse for more than a couple of weeks if I am recuperating from a Csection. Do I change the baby's diaper during the night, or can I just roll over, pick up baby, nurse, and go back to sleep? I assume if poopy, I will change, but otherwise will leave alone. Thanks for refraining from flaming. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.23.08, 05:52 PM Flag
 

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I thought baby nurses stayed w/ baby in basinet in livingroom or someplace like that and brougth baby to you if they needed to be nursed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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good grief a baby nurse sleeping on the sofa in the living room. now I've heard it all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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what is teh 'job' of a baby nurse then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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Where else would they sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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That is very common in NYC where the apts are small. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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if your place is that small, you do not need a nurse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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np: How do you figure? I have a one bedroom apartment and I needed a nurse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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sorry, but I am totally not getting the logic here - since when is apartment size related to need for a baby nurse? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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nnp: I do see it, maybe not for a week or two but our neighbor paid for baby nurse for 3 months and had her living in their living room while complaining about the cost and how crowded they are. We have a 3BR and it never occured to me to get a nurse because I'd hate someone living with us. But other people don't care about this stuff, obviously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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sorry, but size of space has no bearing on the work of a baby nurse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Because those of us with small apartments are better positioned to care for a newborn while recovering from childbirth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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lol - yes - you're apt is so small that you clearly sleep sitting on the toilet with db in the sink so no need to be up and about. how easy is that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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you sound like a crazy pregnant person. your post makes no sense. what are you asking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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what is the point of a baby nurse if you are changing diapers and getting up all night? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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I would not be changing the diapers when the nurse is there. This is for after the nurse leaves, which I hope will be after two weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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The entire point of a baby nurse (as opposed to a full time nanny) is that they do the nighttime hours for you - only exception is nursing - but they do diapers, burping, etc. That said when I nursed at night at the beginning I often would change db's diaper in the middle to wake db up so db nursed long enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:57 PM Flag
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Thank you. Of course, while the nurse is there, she'll do the changing. I think the first baby nurse changed diapers for the same reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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How lazy are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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np: How is this lazy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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I'm not getting into a fight with you. Think what you want. The baby nurse was worth every penny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:02 PM Flag
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Why does one need a baby nurse? I'm genuinely asking...pregnant with #1, both upper class professionals, just can't see why we would need one... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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that's because you don't need one. If you have an involved and participating DH, you don't need any help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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ok, good to know. husband works in finance and all the men tell him he HAS to get a baby nurse. He thinks it's ludicrous too... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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If he works in finance he is probably going back to work fairly quickly? Is he going to want to be up 2-3 times per night to change and feed the baby only to get up in a few hours to be in conference calls or meetings all day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:12 PM Flag
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op: my dh is in finance and everyone gets a baby nurse. It is a little out of control. I was grateful for our first nurse, and definitely want a nurse in the beginning for #3, but don't want one for months as most of his coworkers have had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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thanks for responding...I clearly should have asked my question in a new thread. My sister has twins and I would have a baby nurse too with twins, or with #3 with twin toddlers...I just don't understand the logic of a baby nurse for a first singleton...just seems like something people with means do, regardless of whether it's necessary for them personally (and I don't want to fall into that trap). Thanks, OP! Good luck with #3... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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np: Some people do it just because they see everyone else doing it. We did not and it was absolutely fine, no issues at all. In fact I would have hated having someone with me all the time. But I nursed and more or less co-slept for the first 2 months, if you are nursing baby nurse is much more of a waste than if you are not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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Op told her story - she had twins and now is having a c section. What is the mystery here? Your poor reading comprehension? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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You don't. If you had twins I can see it might be helpful but really for a single you don't. GL btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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OP is having a c section. Do you know what that is? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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two c sections here... no help either time. If your DH helps, you'll be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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op: I think this is key. My dh would love to help, in theory. In practice, he is exhausted when not getting up to take care of a baby, it is not is greatest strength, and as he has many other great qualities as husband and dad, I accept. If you've got a dh who will make sure you get some sleep too, the need for a night nurse will be less. FWIW, I still have two toddlers I will have to take of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I would see if you can get some help for the toddlers... if you can get someone to take them off your hands and keep them on their schedules while you recover, I think you will be much better off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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2 c-section myself no help and DH never gt up w/ babies since he worked and I was home, you can do it people have for MANY years, but if you can afford and want a baby nurse fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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did you have twins? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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no, i don't know what that is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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So that you can get some sleep and recover from the delivery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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op: The first baby nurse we had with the twins was a tremendous help. We didn't (and still don't) have family nearby, and my dh is a great husband and father, but not a "baby person" in anyway--he was beyond clueless, I was nursing and exhausted, and there were two of them. With #3, I want to be able to make the transition for my toddlers as easy as possible--they'll be starting preschool, and I want someone I trust to simply hand the baby to in the beginning. I'll probably pump for one night feed so that I get some extra sleep, and lastly, I may be recuperating from a csection. A good nurse is a great help. A bad nurse--or one who is bad company should be canned immediately. GL to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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You will finally be able to chuckle at this post about 6 months after you've had the baby. I thought similarly but once I had #1 I completely understood why people have them and said I would never do it again without one. In the end I decided not to get one with #2 but I completely understand why people do. It's a lot harder than you think to deal with a screaming baby when you haven't had more than a few hours sleep for days or weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:09 PM Flag
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right, but isn't that called parenting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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OP has 2 y/0 twins and is having a c section. You have no idea what you're talking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Yes, but it is completely understandable why people get baby nurses. Will you survive to tell about it if you don't? Yes. Will you recover more quickly from the birth and enjoy the first few months more if you have one? Yes. In all honesty, the first few months with a newborn can be very tough so I don't see the need to be heroic and go without help if you can afford it. In my case we didn't have the space and didn't want to spend the money but if circumstances were different I see nothing wrong with getting one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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np: Actually, there is another important consideration. Sleep deprivation makes PPD and PPP more likely and exacerbates the condition if it does develop. Having a nurse can be the difference between a mentally healthy mother who can care for her baby and a mother who is hospitalized for PPD or PPP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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totally, you are right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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np: Only in post-Victorian Western Culture are women expected to give birth then care for their babies without help. For most of history, and currently in most of the world, women have help. When I had my babies, I did nothing but nurse for the first month. My mother and aunts did the rest. That's just how we do it in my homeland. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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itta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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itta, you are absolutely right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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martyr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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You don't need one. This is not about you. You are not having and do not have 2 1/2 y/o twins. You are not having a c section. You have a dh in finance, that's about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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We did not w/ #1. When #2 came along I was initially resistant to having a night nurse. But then I was the one up all night every night and I wasn't able to parent well during the day--and #1 had a rough transition to being a big brother. Having the extra sleep made a huge difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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you may not NEED one but it sure makes everything easier and happier, especially if you don't have family around to help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Not sure if I understand your post exactly, but if you're asking if you need to change dbs diaper at night, if there is no nurse there to change, it, then I would definitelys say yes. If db is left in a wet diaper, it will effect the quality of his/her sleep and could cause diaper rash, not to mention, it really takes just a couple seconds to do-just a drop in the bucket sleep wise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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thank you. Is there a point when you would want to stop doing this? I know some people who think the baby will sleep better if you don't change them. . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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I changed dbs diaper every time it was wet and still do (its esp. good to do this at the beginning because you can track how many wet diapers there are per day), but if the diaper was dry, I wouldn't change it just for the sake of changing it when nursing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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diaper change at first midnite feed worked for me - i hadn't gone to bed yet, i'd slide diapers off/on gentle as could be, of course baby will slowly waken, by then a nipple is in her mouth and she'd dreamfeed back to sleep. 15 min later i was in bed. diaper changes at super wee hours never worked for me - too groggy, too clumsy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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np: I think some babies care, especially those with sensitive skin. Mine don't have sensitive skin so I only changed if they pooped during the night. Often times they would fall asleep while nursing and last thing I wanted to do was to wake them up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Oh my good god, OP. Sorry that you had to explain (and re-explain) why you're getting a baby nurse. Obviously, this is your decision and you're entitled to it. Let me see if I can answer your question. I had a c-section and by the 2nd and 3rd weeks I was totally ok to roll over and nurse the baby. And I dont think I ever changed her in the middle of the night unless there was poop or a very saturated diaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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i changed baby if he was soaked, otherwise just put him back in bassinet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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what happened to people taking care of their own babies?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 03:50 PM Flag
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people with nurses still take care of their babies, i wish i had one, it would have saved me literally, my baby couldn't sleep due to medical issue we discovered later, i was up for three months straight, people need nurses for many reasons [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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Brad and Angie- is that you?????? Welcome to UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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OK, first of all, if you're on your own, no baby nurse, yes, it's fine to just change them if they're poopy. (Unless you discover they have sensitive skin and get diaper rash.) Just make sure to use Balmex whenever you change them to help prevent diaper rash, but think of it this way, once they start sleeping through the night, they'll be in a wet diaper all night long, so it doesn't really hurt them. Those diapers can hold a ton of liquid. (Obviously, poopy, you have to change.) But if you do have a baby nurse, they should definitely be expected to do the nightime diaper changes for you. That's the main thing they can do at night if you are EBF, that and put the baby back to sleep. It's an expected part of their job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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