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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] How do you handle meals for live out nanny? Our old nanny brought her own lunch or went out every day. New nanny (who is great) eats her breakfast, lunch and dinner out of my refrigerator. Feeding another adult is a big household expense. I do all the cooking and make good meals. Just wondering what everyone else does. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I welcome them to eat here, I just try to point out if there is something special for my DH or kids and try to have some decoys like yogurts and stuff. I also ask if they finish something to put it on a list and try not to open new things in case they r for special occasions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Sitter was a full member of the household when she was here - no restrictions on food or other resources. She fed herself when she wasn't in our home. If you can afford a nanny, you can afford to let her eat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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just ask them to be respectful put things on lists and ask them if they like anything in particular to drink ect.... most wont abuse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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would you expect her to bring all her meals or just her breakfast? I guess I may expect her to eat breakfast at home but lunch and dinner (assuming she makes dc dinner) I would expect to provide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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I don't mind that she eats lunch here, but breakfast and dinner too? I make all the meals for dc. Just wondering what most people do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 05:41 AM Flag
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Did you ever have a job where your employer paid for your meals too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 05:42 AM Flag
[ - ] how long can i expect to have dd in my 1 bedroom before it gets insane? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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she should leave home for college [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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My cousin, his wife and their son live in a tiny 1 room apt in Japan......you can stay there till she leaves for college if you want [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I am worried that the apt., while spacious, doesn't allow for dc to get used to sleeping along. should i move her crib out to the living room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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^^alone, not along! sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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I'd keep her in the bedroom and have you take the living room [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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What is the value of sleeping alone? Japanese families share a floor full of mats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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That may have been true 60+ years ago in Japan. Even my parents in Japan had their own room when they were growing up there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.21.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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we did it until ds was five and pretty much outgrew the toddler bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.21.08, 07:38 AM Flag
[ - ] Need honest but not snarky opinions please. I'm maid of honor for my sisters wedding and planning a Sunday lunch at a nice restaurant in CT. I knew liquor was not included but found out today when giving my deposit that the glasses of wine are $10 each! Would it be cheap to limit the selection to mimosas and bellinis (which would cost $4 / glass)? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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it's fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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totally fine. usually they give you a deal on the wine, ie. house wine so that sounds ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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the food will go with mimosa/bellini, yes? If so, fine. If someone doesn't like either of those, they can order something non-alcoholic. Alternately, you could ask if you can bring your own wine/champagne and what the corkage fee would be- that might be cheaper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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op: Non-alcoholic drinks included in the package price. I did ask about corking fee, they said no. The food is lunch, not brunch food...but maybe I can work with the planner on some more brunch-type food. Ugh - I just hate thinking that this bridal shower may not be good because the drink selection is limited, but also hate the idea of doing a cash bar as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Please don't worry too much about it- people will be happy and this is a minor issue. I just ask about the food because I have been to Sunday lunch showers where it was salad/light pasta kind of a thing, and you don't want to drink a mimosa with that, for example. Can you negotiate just champagne for everyone? It's still a fixed thing- everyone getting the same thing, and then everyone could have non-alcoholic drinks as well. Or shift to a brunch kind of menu, and that could work too. But don't worry too much. Everyone wants something cold to drink at Sunday lunch, and it is alcoholic, that's a bonus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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time to negotiate. your plan is fine but they can do much better on the wine if you still want it At my daughter's bat mitzvah full open bar with wine too (in Manhattan) was $15 per guest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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do i still have negotiating leverage if they already have my deposit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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sure. they don't have your booze money yet. Offer them $5 a glass for wine or stick to the bellinis [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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great - thanks for the advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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bellinis and mimosas don't go with lunch. I would suck it up and offer wine, some women like bloody mary's also. these people are bringing gifts for your sister, don't be cheap. Not that many people will drink at a shower but i know a lot of people who would like a glass of wine while they socialize. they would like to, they should be able to have a glass of wine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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$10 per glass seems silly -- do they have wine you can buy by the bottle? and then have the server offer people glasses of white wine, or champagne? it would probably be cheaper. ive done this before and i have to say: people do not drink heavily at lunch parties. i bet most women wont even want a drink, and those who drink will probably just have a glass. you really should worry because its not like a cocktail party -- the expense will not be as bad as you imagine, even at $10 a glass [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 06:35 AM Flag
[ - ] no moms in nYC are taking anxiety meds? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.25.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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no. none. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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haha, the most anxious moms I have ever met live here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 09:50 PM Flag
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cymbalta here -- great stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 05:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Had children very close together. Had anxiety problems before and now suffering again. Anyone here taking medication for anxiety? I feel so ashamed but I feel like I am losing patience with my children and I want to be a great mom. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.25.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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same poster from below? get help if needed nobody is supermom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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just get help. no shame in doing so. if anything, smart and brave for getting help. not everyone gets help. it is REALLY hard to be a mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I just have 3 under 3, husband who has a time cruncher job and want to just sleep at night, instead I make lists and worry about finding a house, I just feel like I can't be there for all 3 all the time, i feel divided [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I always opposed meds, and figured I would work through my own anxiety but this is a tough time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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sometimes life overwhelms us. kids are tough, esp with 3 under 3. just get help to get you through this time. ita on other poster's comments about seeing a psych and doing talk therapy. cognitive beh therapy may be helpful too in helping you id ways to cope. meds can be helpful too but it is a good thing to find the right psych. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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get to a good psychiatrist right away. combined medication and short course talk therapy are very effective for anxiety [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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have a therapist, and she would give me a psychiatrists name I just had such a stigma against meds like klonopin and stuff, feel guilty like it is a cop out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Don't prescribe for yourself. Many anti-depressants in low doses are effective against anxiety. Let the pro figure it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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it isn't a cop out. if you had cancer, you wouldn't be against chemo, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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yw. gl to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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Wow I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. Same story. Find someone- therapist, doctor, friend-- you need support however you can get it. All moms need support to be good moms. No one can do it alone. I learned that after I had my meltdown. It gets better once you gets some help. You'll make it!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Hey, I had 3 under 2 & husband was out to lunch (now oldest is 4). Cymbalta has been great for me. My frustration def. effects how I handle kids so Cymbalta has been a Godsend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 05:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have healthnet? Do they cover first trimester screening, nuchal translucency and serum? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.25.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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most insurance companies do but you should call them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have children very close together and have problems with anxiety? thinking on going on meds but feel terrible 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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having small children close together is hard! if you need meds to relax it better for dcs. do you have help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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have help but feel like I am copin g out when I leave them with kids, I am a stay at home mom but it is a full time job one is 2 1/2 and the other 2 are 15 months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a friend who has a DD in the same preschool class as my DD, and lately she's been acting very "single white female" on me. I told her several months ago my DD really likes having playdates with another girl in the class, and have recently found out she has become this girl's mom's new BFF, even down to copying this girl's bedroom for her own DD's new room. This isn't the 1st time she's glommed onto one of my other friends and become her BFF. It's really strange, and the worst part is when she's glommed on to these new BFFs, she's very aloof with me. WTF? I don't know what to think. Does she have some type of personality disorder? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.25.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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there are so many strange people out there. i've seen this happen and experienced in high school. immaturatity try to ignore it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Your focus is in the wrong place. You need to ask yourself why you continue to have this person in your life? What need is she fulfilling for you? And then hopefully, you will be able to recognize why you continue the pattern and be able to break it. It's about you, not her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 06:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Dd climbed out of her pac n play while on vacation and then came home and used her newfound skill to climb out of her crib. I took off her bumpers to no avail. Time for a bed? She's 2.2. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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put my ds in bed at 20 months he hated his crib [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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yes. I put both dc in beds right at 2. I was too worried about them falling when trying to climb out of crib. They were both fine- after one night experimenting with the novelty of it (coming out of the room, etc.) they settled in for naps and nighttime with no problem. We put rails on the bed for six months or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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absolutely. unsafe to continue with crib. take off gate and lower mattress to lowest level [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:56 PM Flag
[ - ] when do you get your period back. stop bfing a month ago db in 8 mo got no signs nothing. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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I stopped bfing about 5 mos ago and still no period. But I did have a mirena IUD inserted, so that could be the reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] why cant i get on u b mom? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Some people say to wait until toddlers are "ready" to potty train. Some say you just have to do it: put them in underwear, let them pee their pants and show them how to use the potty. But my almost three year old just pees in his pants and that's that. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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I think once dc gets close to 3, the 'ready' argument is not really relevant anymore (though every child is different, I would say most almost 3 yos are ready). How long have you been doing the "just pees in his pants"? He'll get it eventually- no pressure, remain calm, this is a new thing he's learning and he'll figure it out. And bribes too, at least in my house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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my ds just peed in his pants for a week before using the potty- I was just done with diapers so I wasn't go back come hell or high water. After the first couple of days I made him take off the wet clothes and try to put on the dry clothes. I did lots of laundry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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I used a dirty trick. I bought cheap, nylon underpants. No absorbency whatsoever. He wet his pants once and was so uncomfortable that was the last time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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summer is an excellent time to let babe run around naked. Have the potty at hand. He'll sit down when he's ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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people always say this but i don't get it. where are kids suppose to run around naked in the city? never worked for my dc. they would just squat and pee where they were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Your living room. Yard if you've got one. Dofferent strokes. Worked for mine but they were ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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pee soaked rugs isn't something i would want to deal with ever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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sometimes you need to wait till the mom is ready its a commentment on your part. you need to be prepared for battles and messes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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Do not fight about the toilet or food. Read Freud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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OP- I'm ready but just need to hear from someone that this actually works. We're doing underwear only. Diapers only for nap and bedtime and he's only peeing once or twice a day in his pants. What about getting vinyl pants to go over the underwear? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] how much does a legal live-in housekeeper who can watch your children too cost and where do you find them? tia. having an argument with dh about this! :-( 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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$700-$1000 a week. There are many agencies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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housekeeper or nanny? $700 for a housekeeper seems high. is that the going rate??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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i thought they make about $400-$500 in the burbs. am i mistaken? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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Legal and on the books for $400 a week? Wrong ballpark. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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You want a housekeeper who is also going to watch children? Then you pay significantly more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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I would think the rates for housekeeping would be around $20 an hour....also it depends on if the person in living in 5 days as a convenience to you or living in 7 because she has no other residence to maintain. I agree with OR though that someone who would do both well would expect to net $700-1000 a week for 50 hours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.25.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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