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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Suppose Obama does not pick Hillary as VP, but McCain picks a woman (let's say Carly Fiorina). Would that affect your vote? How? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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i'm a hillary supporter, but nothing short of a lobotomy would make me vote for mccain [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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Nurse Ratched here [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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i would vote mccain/woman in this situation, even though i don't like carly much [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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if he chose a strong woman and obama picked an idiot like richardson, it would be hard. but the supreme court would make me pick the dems still. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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Carly Farina? Oh oh now I get it. Farina = Rice. Wow, you're clever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Helicopter mom sounds a little too obsessed with her older son's school work. I don't know why her dh and she both micromanage her older son's school work... Seems like a bright kid. And if the kids get answer sheets to practice midterm questions the day before the midterm, why is that so bad? 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
New York City 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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that woman is crazy...much like the women here. we fret and fret, and yet somehow we all made it this far, most likely without all the worrying by our parents. makes me think this generation is trying to fix something about feeling unloved from their childhoods by obsessing over their kids' academic success, performance and homework. it is weird. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Do you have experience with a child in middle school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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You ask that as if inexperience would explain by ignorance and real lack of understanding of what it takes to have a kid in MS. but I know a lot about adolescents and still believe most of us did not have the crazy focus we see here and on helicopter mom blog. I think we need to let kids develop and guide them, not control them and everything in their environment [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I know that expectations for my 12 year old from her school are higher than any I ever had in any of my schooling (including college). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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but its not just expectations. its a hyper focus on everything and anything the dc is doing, learning, reading, computing, etc. I actually think it will hamper their development. this is not being more attentive. this is interfering with child development and helping our kids grow into adulthood with ideas of their own and learning to be resourcefull and ambitious. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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^^^for eg., even all the posts requesting book recs for kids who are old enough to pick out their own books. i remeber going to the library with my mother as a child. she would go get her books and I mine. I loved picking books and reading everything from a biograohy of jim thorpe to harriet the spy. I cannot see figuring all this out for my dcs all the time. i want them to seek out things that interest THEM, not those people on a message board recommend [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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There's room for both: a child can pick their own books and a parent can introduce good books to them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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yes, but that is not what happens in typical ub land [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I am here way too much, and it is bvious [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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best way for a parent to introduce a book is put it on your shelf [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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exactly. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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New to this thread - yes the"expectations" are higher. Because of a vicious circle of parents and teachers. We need to stop the madness and give our children their childhood back. Does anyone think the increase in teenage drinking, suiside, bi polar disorder, anxiety medication might be related to the undue pressure parents and schools put on their shoulders? Just a thought. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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OP: I think it's strange that her dh reads and does every question on practice test with/for his son... highlight important stuff on the materials for his son... like a secretary. I think it's going too far. Doens't the son have to learn how to figure out which information is important? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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that is my point. the kid has to learn, and they are interfering with this process. they are not the first to have a MS dc and somehow others learn to learn. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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HM writes that by 8th grade, she no longer knew nor worried about what her son was doing in school--and that he got into his first choice high school. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I guess Stuy. I'm glad to hear it. But most kids who go to Stuy probably made it without all this parental involvement (big immigrant population) and HM's son might struggle at least initially... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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lots of new immigrants are strongly involved in pushing their children forward, especially those who test well on achievemetn type tests [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Many immigrant kids do weekend prep for years before taking the test for Stuy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Those classes are nothing compared to HM and her dh doing everything. An hour of vocab class and an hour of math class do not equal HM and her dh going over every single homework, review, etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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I doubt that she stopped worrying and obsessing. she has a blog for chrissakes [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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It hasn't been updated lately. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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maybe she found a good psychiatrist. therapy and meds can work wonders [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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No one ever says, "figure it out for yourself" anymore. What will happen to these children when they become adults. They have to practice and fail in a safe environment or they will fail in an unsafe one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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If high school admissions is based on middle school performance, you betcha many, many parents will be just as involved. She says she is trying to compensate for the inadequate preparation his elementary school provided for middle school. How do we know this isn't true? How old are your kids? I suspect you're a backseat driver. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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because her dc went to LL and it is a great elementary school. The vast majority of its 5th graders get into their number one choice for middle school. Her child got into nest - the elementary school must have done something right. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 05:19 AM Flag
[ - ] oh shut up already hillary 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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STOP DISRESPECTING HER. change the fucking channel if you don't want to hear it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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that's all you can come up with? It's a great speech. You shut up. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
[ - ] How would you fix public education without throwing money into it? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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put all the names in a hat and you go to school you pick, end of story. All schools would be good then [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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money is a good start, to be honest. get rid of unions. mandate class size to 20 students. mandate that doe is part of urban devleopment/planning process. set up competency guidelines and compensation structure for every single psition (teachers, admin, etc). keep arts/gym as part of education [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Not every state has unions btw. Do you research. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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whatever. speak in english, while you are criticizing. but unions are a part of the problem or have been, at least in ny [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Money is a big part of the answer, though. I sit on the board of a private school, and it costs about $15,000 per year to educate a child. This is consistent with the better suburbs. NYC spends about $7,500 per child, but this includes federally mandated dollars spent on special ed and low-income children. In schools w/o a lot of special ed and low-income children, the real per-pupil spending is closer to $4,000. So, how can money be left out of the solution? That's like asking how you can find good child care for $4 an hour. One in a million. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:54 PM Flag
[ - ] I hope Obama picks Sebelius as VP 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Pregnant and unsure what is new in terms of infant gear/ care that I'm clueless about...it's been five years since we had ds. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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I'm in the EXACT same situation. #1 will be almost six when #2 is born. And I just found out car seats "expire" after six years. I have nada. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:46 PM Flag
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What do you mean expire? That sounds like a marketing ploy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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np: plastic degrades [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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Oh that sounds really unlikely to me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Catch 22: chance you want to take? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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so it's toxic? or isn't as resilient? what happens when it degrades? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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Plasticizers tend to leach out after a certain number of years which makes the plastic more brittle and likely to shatter. Same thing happens to old ski boots, sporting equipment etc. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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^^From polymer chemist mom [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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but does the plastic also release toxics that would be harmful to breathe? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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yes, and this is a myth. I really thought a chemist would know a little better than frightening the public. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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bah! you go ahead and throw some more money at the makers of car seats, I will happily keep that car seat we have and use it until #3 doesn't need it anymore (another 5 or 6 years). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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That's what I've heard. I hope it's wrong. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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not a chance i'm willing to take [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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where'd you hear this? (my snugride is 5 yrs old...also expecting #2 this year). [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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google "Car seats expire"... also there's a date on yours [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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thanks. this hadn't even occurred to me. why do car-seats actually expire? is it really because of the plastic, as the above poster says? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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because the safety standards change, has nothing to do with the plastic. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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ok. That makes sense. So, that just means you shouldn't buy a used car seat from some stranger. If you bought it, though, new from the store and keep yourself informed about standards etc. and you know the history of your seat there is no need to replace it just because it hit six years of age. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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Yes, and there is a NY Times article that debunks this. See link somewhere above. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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better strollers, for one! and NYers have discovered slings. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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which one? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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improved Mountain Buggy comes to mind.....nto sure which slings are popular. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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i have used our sling since our first was born 6 yrs ago. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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Slings have been around like forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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Peanutshell sling is the bestest! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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total marketing scam [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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I'd get an Ergo baby carrier. Other than that, not really a gear person... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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Mine are 8,6,1, and what changed between #2 and #3 was the swaddle me blankets. I always sucked at swaddling - now they have them with velcro. Who knew? And now you dont start food until 6 mos. Other than that, its btdt. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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Bottles have changed, obviously. You should buy the BPA-free ones. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 09:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Just got DD to sleep & now DH is home, so disappointing. I wanted time to myself 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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awwwww, man. i hear you. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] when did you start showing with #1? I'm almost 8 wks and feel like I'm already showing. Could all this be bloat?? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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I started showing around then...congrats!! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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20 weeks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Isn't "Yes we can" Obama's chant? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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farm workers, actually. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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op: Or the Little Engine that Could... no? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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did she say "Si, se puede" too? ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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Bob the Builder [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:43 PM Flag
[ - ] dds old "best friend" gave her the heave ho in April and is so mean to her now(moves away when she walks past, won't say hello etcc) - am I right to thing this is awful behavior for a 7 year old!!!!!!! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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That's really really awful. Maybe you can talk to the parents or teacher--they don't have to be friends. But bullying is unacceptable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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the mother is an acquaintance - I left her a msg this am but she did not call - I basically want to say that they don't have to be friends but they should be courteous - dd is upset but ok [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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this is bad. How is Dd taking it? Do you know the parents? the child has issues if doing this so young so best for DD to be away from this friend early and find out meaning of true friends. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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I agree. Get her away for her asap. It's not like they're 13 (when they have to work it out themselves). 7 yos are really fragile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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This exact thing happened to my 6 yo in second grade last year. I don't think it's so unusual among girls. It was painful for my dd but it worked out fine -- she made a new, better friend (they always do). Also I personally don't consider coldness something the teacher should be involved in, though it might be appropriate to mention it to the parents. But not expect them to enforce social sensitivity to that degree. Children are social amateurs and some bruised feelings are inevitable IMO, so might as well just help your kid to deal with it by helping her to express her feelings (to you, to her ex-friend) as much as she can, then let it go and look for someone nicer. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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It's not really the coldness that bothers me. The fact that the ex-friend moves away when she walks by is an agressive act. And I've seen 4yos with sophisticated "social" skills that make my skin crawl a bit. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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I define it as passive agressive, myself. And it's something women do to each other all the time in the play yard, just a bit more subtly. I was the class reject for few bad years and I survived, have a great social life now. You can't really do anything about it but give your dd a lot of friendly encouragement and sympathy. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 07:17 PM Flag
[ - ] was just reading news online that Clinton is seeking VP spot. has this happened in past elections that such strong rivals end up on the same ticket? (trying to remember back to the most recent elections and i am blocking on this...) 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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Kennedy and LBJ hated each other [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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from op: thanks. didn't know that. so maybe an Obama/HRC ticket is not totally impossible... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.03.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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I'd like to keep her as our senator. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 05:20 AM Flag
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yes, but Kennedy won the election because of LBJ and Texas. I don't think anyone thinks Hillary will give Obama a state. The more contemporary model is Clinton/Gore where the VP doesn't bring a state or anything but somehow makes the ticket more appealing. I fear Obama/Clinton would be a freak show. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:10 AM Flag
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No, I think it would be a great ticket. Clinton would bring in the working class dem white vote that might switch to McCain if it weren't for her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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totally not true... hc brings a lot... pennsylvania, older white voters, the jewish vote, etc. she brings a lot if they can get over the past few months' rancor... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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I think that for a political campaign, they've remained pretty civil [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:18 AM Flag
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Obama does not need Hillary to win PA. But my main problem is that they won't be able to work together if Obama does win. It will be a daily fight just like in JFK/LBJ scenario. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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i guess i'm just pollyanna about it.. i think they can win, i think they can get past the nastiness, and i think i can't wait to vote in november ! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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I so hope he doesn't pick her for VP. She's so polarizing I think she'd kill his chances for winning. Many Republicans who might ahve voted Dem this time would be way less likely to with Clinton on the ticket. I'd even really question Obama's judgement if he picked her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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