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06.03.08, 18:47 PM New York City
26 replies
Helicopter mom sounds a little too obsessed with her older son's school work. I don't know why her dh and she both micromanage her older son's school work... Seems like a bright kid. And if the kids get answer sheets to practice midterm questions the day before the midterm, why is that so bad? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
New York City 06.03.08, 06:47 PM Flag
 

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that woman is crazy...much like the women here. we fret and fret, and yet somehow we all made it this far, most likely without all the worrying by our parents. makes me think this generation is trying to fix something about feeling unloved from their childhoods by obsessing over their kids' academic success, performance and homework. it is weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Do you have experience with a child in middle school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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You ask that as if inexperience would explain by ignorance and real lack of understanding of what it takes to have a kid in MS. but I know a lot about adolescents and still believe most of us did not have the crazy focus we see here and on helicopter mom blog. I think we need to let kids develop and guide them, not control them and everything in their environment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I know that expectations for my 12 year old from her school are higher than any I ever had in any of my schooling (including college). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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but its not just expectations. its a hyper focus on everything and anything the dc is doing, learning, reading, computing, etc. I actually think it will hamper their development. this is not being more attentive. this is interfering with child development and helping our kids grow into adulthood with ideas of their own and learning to be resourcefull and ambitious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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^^^for eg., even all the posts requesting book recs for kids who are old enough to pick out their own books. i remeber going to the library with my mother as a child. she would go get her books and I mine. I loved picking books and reading everything from a biograohy of jim thorpe to harriet the spy. I cannot see figuring all this out for my dcs all the time. i want them to seek out things that interest THEM, not those people on a message board recommend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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There's room for both: a child can pick their own books and a parent can introduce good books to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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yes, but that is not what happens in typical ub land [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I am here way too much, and it is bvious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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best way for a parent to introduce a book is put it on your shelf [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:16 PM Flag
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exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 08:30 PM Flag
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New to this thread - yes the"expectations" are higher. Because of a vicious circle of parents and teachers. We need to stop the madness and give our children their childhood back. Does anyone think the increase in teenage drinking, suiside, bi polar disorder, anxiety medication might be related to the undue pressure parents and schools put on their shoulders? Just a thought. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 05:15 AM Flag
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OP: I think it's strange that her dh reads and does every question on practice test with/for his son... highlight important stuff on the materials for his son... like a secretary. I think it's going too far. Doens't the son have to learn how to figure out which information is important? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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that is my point. the kid has to learn, and they are interfering with this process. they are not the first to have a MS dc and somehow others learn to learn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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HM writes that by 8th grade, she no longer knew nor worried about what her son was doing in school--and that he got into his first choice high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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I guess Stuy. I'm glad to hear it. But most kids who go to Stuy probably made it without all this parental involvement (big immigrant population) and HM's son might struggle at least initially... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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lots of new immigrants are strongly involved in pushing their children forward, especially those who test well on achievemetn type tests [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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Many immigrant kids do weekend prep for years before taking the test for Stuy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Those classes are nothing compared to HM and her dh doing everything. An hour of vocab class and an hour of math class do not equal HM and her dh going over every single homework, review, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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I doubt that she stopped worrying and obsessing. she has a blog for chrissakes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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It hasn't been updated lately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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maybe she found a good psychiatrist. therapy and meds can work wonders [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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No one ever says, "figure it out for yourself" anymore. What will happen to these children when they become adults. They have to practice and fail in a safe environment or they will fail in an unsafe one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 05:17 AM Flag
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If high school admissions is based on middle school performance, you betcha many, many parents will be just as involved. She says she is trying to compensate for the inadequate preparation his elementary school provided for middle school. How do we know this isn't true? How old are your kids? I suspect you're a backseat driver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.03.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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because her dc went to LL and it is a great elementary school. The vast majority of its 5th graders get into their number one choice for middle school. Her child got into nest - the elementary school must have done something right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 05:19 AM Flag
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