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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Our HHI is $100K but we own our apartment w/o any debt (inherited) and we have about $600K in investments and retirement savings. Will we be eligible for financial aid from private schools? We expect to contribute of course but don't think we can swing the whole tuition. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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no. you have assets [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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well, of course. But we were also hoping to (1) retire (I'm 42, DH is 50) and (2) send our son to college. So we can't really afford to spend $25-30K annually AND do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:04 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm so mad at dh, and sad. He went to this work thing last night and got totally drunk. It's a wonder he made it home. He knew he was taking the day off becasue it is our dd's graduation from preschool, and we had a meeting with an architect today. Anway, he is a mess and hung over and back in bed. I'm sad becasue I really think he as a drinking problem (ok, I know it) and it is just hitting me today. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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i feel for you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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Good book "Over the influence" or is it "Above"? Anyway, it's by Little and Denning.He would not be intimidated by this book. Has helpful info on how to try to control drinking and start thinking about your relationship to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. Check out this link: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/newcomer.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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thanks, I have thougth about going before, maybe I will now. I've been in denial for a while about this and today it is just hitting me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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when things finally "stick" it's tough, but it's also the beginnng of being able to deal which adds other stresses... feeling like now you HAVE to handle it and how to do that properly... get a friend to help you out.. seriously... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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thanks, I have a friend who has been sober for 2 years now - he might be a good [person to talk to. Though it is hard to open up to people about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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have you confronted him about his drinking? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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we've had talks before, but we are going to have to have a big one today, or tomorrow. I am really sad and scared, I feel like this is some kind of turning point as I can't ignore it. I just don't want him to end up like his father who was a raging alcoholic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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the good news is you know this and you are willing to try and help him. You can only hope that he is sad and scared too and is willing to put in the effort to get better and be there for you guys. I wish you the best of luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 AM Flag
[ - ] I think I'm a crappy mom. I curse around my kid and tell him to shut up. But he is driving me bonkers. 5 years old and has become a brat. Probably al lmy fault. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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can't say shut up... remove yourself and take a break for a minute, but you can't say shut up... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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i'll try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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no really... i know it sounds trite, but when you feelthe anger boiling up (and we all do at some point) just walk away... it'll only take a moment to regain your composure... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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I have lost it with my 4yo dd too. It's not that often but I just yell really loudly at her. Sometimes I feel kids act out to see you lose it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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yes--exactly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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my MIL who is sort of wise and sort of crazy says that sometimes they "need" to be yelled at as it's a release for everyone... i don't know if it's true, but my DH is the greatest man (12 yrs married and BF's for 6 yrs beofre that) and he lived in a house with lots of yelling... not nasty yelling or venemous yelling, just yelling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:28 AM Flag
[ - ] To those who mc: how many weeks were you? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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7 the first time; maybe 8 or 9 the next, hard to tell exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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had you seen hb already? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Michelle Obama looked incredible last night. On a separate note, I'm so happy for them. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.04.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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She always looks incredible. (And I'm a hardcore HRC supporter...) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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she is always perfectly done, but does anyone see a little orthodontics necessary ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:23 AM Flag
[ - ] you know that polygamous compound where the moms are going to court to get their dcs back? did you notice that htey all have exactly the same clothing and same hairstyle? i'm wondering if the clothign was the "dressy clothing". and i'm really wondering if the hairstyle is a fashion or a rule. or one of those fashions that have become a rule. wdyt? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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it's a rule. they covered this in the news pretty extensively. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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thanks. i didn't see anything about it. the clothing and the hair are both rules? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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not totally sure about the clothing - i think the full coverage aspect is a rule, but i suspect the form is too - since the foster care homes had to learn to sew those particular dressses for the children. the hair thing is interesting. the only form of vanity that is tolerated is the "poof" thing in the front above the forehead. so a bigger poof is deemed more attractive. so they kind of compete to see who can have the bigger poof. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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oh, i read the best book about the history of hte polygamists a few years ago for a book club. what was the name of it! i loved it, i'm so fascinated by them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer -- the same guy who wrote Into Thin Air. Fascinating! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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he's a great writer. i'm not sure how good of a researcher he is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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i think polygamy could be OK... theres so much freakin' laundry around here, i could use the help... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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i love it! yeah, me too! Where is my sister wife? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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i know ! childcare, an additional laundress, and someone to have sex with our DH when "House" is on and I don't want to be disturbed... not so bad to me ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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About the hair: the thing is, they're not allowed makeup or anything overtly artificial. BUT, women being women, they want to look attractive (it's all relative) and compete with one another, so one of the few things they can do is create elaborate hairstyles. AND, I believe they're very into skincare (no makeup but pretty skin). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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not true... the hairstyle is pretty much dictated... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I just read an article on it. Maybe the basic shape--long, modestly pulled back is dictated--but the elaborte teasing and updos is definitly a style choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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i wouldn't be surprised if it's a combination. like that hair has to be pulled back but the long hair and the teasing in front is a style [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:55 AM Flag
[ - ] how do I clear history on my mac computer? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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when you're in safari, go to the "history" tab and see "clear history" on teh bottom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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what about firefox? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:17 AM Flag
[ - ] how crowded would train to amagansett/montauk be on a saturday morning? insane to go out for a day-trip? (i know it's far, but we're wanting to check out a potential vacation rental and the owner is only there til sunday) 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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You can't go out for a day trip. the trains don't have a schedule that would allow it. Believe me, I've looked it up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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thanks. i've been trying to decipher the LIRR schedule, and it looks like trains are very few and far between. was wondering if it was actually the case... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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You might be able to do it on the Jitney bus. But I haven't checked their schedule [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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was just about to ask if there was another way to get out there. will see if this is online. (we also have a car, but i was hoping that it'd be possible to get out there w/o driving. it's around 3 hours each way, no?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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If you have a car, you're best off driving. It will give you the freedom to go to lunch, beach, etc. The train is much slower than driving. Just get an early start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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so you think a day trip is not totally crazy? (somehow i was thinking train would be faster, so it's good to know it's not...) i'm hoping that traffic on saturday won't be so bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Saturday is best day for a daytrip. You'll probably hit some traffic between Watermill and East Hampton (if you don't know the back roads). Before we owned a place, we used to drive out for the day. There are some ocean beaches (Road D in Southampton for example) that don't require a sticker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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thanks. we'd be going to amagansett. just trying to imagine if 3 hrs each way is doable w/ 5 yr old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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I have a 5 yo ds and wouldn't think twice (we drive out east just about every weekend). Just build in some fun activities for your dc (e.g., there's a mini golf place on 27 a few miles before Southampton Village, so you can stop there). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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thanks for the tip. this is exactly the kind of info i need. she would probably love this. any ideas for good place for ice-cream? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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I posted below -- Candy Kitchen in Bridge has awesome ice cream. My dc also loves Maggie Moos in Southampton Village. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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thanks!! will bring this info with us this weekend. am starting to look forward to this (very last minute) daytrip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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np: driving vs train speed depends on the weekend. If it is sunny, the drive could be a hell of a lot longer if you are going Saturday morning or returning Sunday evening. Driving to Montauk and back means driving through every Hampton twice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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If she leaves early enough (7am or so), it should be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Go to Duryea's for lunch (if you're driving). So peaceful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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from op: where is that? would love recommendation for place to stop for lunch on the way out there. (or maybe a nice place for a picnic) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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it's in Montauk. http://duryealobsters.com Great place to stop if you're in the area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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ah...thought it was on the way out there. will definitely check it out if we go to Montauk. sounds really nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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I have done sat to east hampton for a day trip many times. Leave around 7:00 am - get there by 9:00am - we saty through dinner (usually at a freinds house), bathe kids, get in jammies and leave to drive hoem aroudn 7:30 and hope they fall asleep in the car. I have never hit bad traffic doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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'cause you are coming back Saturday night. You don't mean you have never hit bad beach traffic on the Saturday morning part, do you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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well, traffic doens't start backing up on montauk highway until about 8:30-9:00ish - so no, I don't usually hit bad morning traffic.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:53 AM Flag
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I guess I never hit the road THAT early... (Now that I really think about it, that should come as no surprise to me.) Good info. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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from op: thanks. your post reassures me that this will work. good idea to drive home around bedtime so dc falls asleep in the car. is traffic on saturday morning bad? maybe still early in season if we're going this weekend, i hope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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not or: Saturday morning traffic this time of year will be prom kids with sand in their tux cuffs; college kids looking for jobs at the bars/clubs; LI kids getting some early sun. The water is still too cold to swim (unless you are hard core.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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thanks. will be this saturday...weather looks not so wonderful, but still hopefully nice/warm enough for 5 yr dd to play on beach and enjoy a picnic + ice cream. good to know about water being too cold to swim...though i'm a polar-bear at heart, coming from the pacific NW where the water is ice even in august! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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np, Just leave really early so you don't hit the "trade parade" into Southampton. They've widened the road but it's still pretty slow from 9ish to noon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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I would zip car that trip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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would it be crazy to go out on saturday morning, and drive back saturday night? (w/ 5 yr old btw) how many hours each way? (mapquest says 2 hrs 20 min, but it's probably more with traffic, right?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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Not too crazy. Is this for a long term rental? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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it's for a 2 week rental later this summer. looks like a place we'd really love, and possibly return to in future years, too. (the owner is so nice...actually invited us out to stay there for the weekend with him, free of charge, but we have an event on sunday we can't miss.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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not crazy at all. you'll have a great time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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thanks. will try and get a super-early start so we have enough time to actually be there to justify the travel-time. any ideas re: good places to stop for ice-cream or lunch on the way out there, to break up the drive? (i totally don't know the hamptons or long island...have only been to montauk pre-dc). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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Candy Kitchen in Bridgehampton (can't miss it -- it's right on 27) has awesome homemade ice cream. Your dc would probably like the Children's Museum and/or South Fork Nature Center in Bridgehampton. They are pretty much across the street from one another on Bridge-Sagg Turnpike -- 2 minutes off Montauk Hwy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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thank you! i appreciate your suggestions & will bring this info along with us. : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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np, World Pie in Bridgehampton is right across the street from Candy Kitchen and has great pizza, also very kid-friendly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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Montauk is a nice laid back (for the area) place. Great breakfast place on south side of main street. If you drive, put this on your route for the 5 yo... http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2173 (I lived on the south fork for a few summers. The Flanders route may not be the shortest but it is the better way to hit the eastern part of south fork imho! Don't tell a lot of people though. 'k? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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omg, i love it. thank you! will definitely include this on our route. and will keep this good secret. ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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i don't think a day trip is crazy. you just do what you need to do and don't be in a rush. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 10:04 AM Flag
[ - ] what are some good toys for my infant? I know that no 3 wk old needs toys but my MIL is acting like i am cruel and mean for not filling her life with stuff. Any suggestions for things that might interest her now or in the next few weeks? I do have a play gym thingy. TIA 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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A 3 week old will have zero interest in toys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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I get that but it's easier to just stick a toy next to her than listen to my MIL bitch. What can I get now that she will be intersted in in a few weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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Any kind of small rattle-ish things she can grasp and jiggle in the stroller will be useful soon. Preferably things that are bright and have moving parts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Is it really bad that 5 year old girl still isn't night time potty trained? day time since 2.5. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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My friend's ds still wet at night until he was well past 6. I think some kids are hard sleepers and don't know to wake up when they have to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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She wears the GoodNites so we don't have a wet bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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np: have you tried putting down a pad underneath the sheet and having her go to bed in underwear? at this point, you are perhaps training her NOT to pay attention to her need to urinate at night, you know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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I haven't really tried to train yet. I'm cutting down on beverages at night and bringing her to potty before bed. But until the pullup is less wet, I can't have her soak the bed. Once or twice when we forgot, she didn't wake up and made a huge mess. If she falls alseep in a car ride, she may wet and not wake up either. She's a deep sleeper and doesn't repond well when we wake her. I'm not sure what do next, or if I should just wait until she's ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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I guess I'd look at the context and ask the ped - but I'd guess fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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my son occasionally wet the bed until he was 7. It just ended on its own [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] toxic/uninvolved mom only shows up for a party. as DB got icing on his face at his 1st bday lunch: she says sarcastically "gotta get the MONEY shot." she likes to make crude sex talk and it was a small family party. she calls since to put me down for being too "directive" and "hoooovering" (says it like hoover vacuum) - i was only with DB for photos, BTW. i may just cut her out entirely like she did her own verbally abusive mother out of my life. WWYD? 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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I have no idea what this post is about [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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read it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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op: you don't have to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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You do sound pretty intense. I can't believe you freaked out about that money shot comment -- your interpretation would never have occurred to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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lol, that's what that term means - there is no other interpretation that I'm aware of! np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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i agree that it's common knowledge it's a porno thing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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she's very abusive verbally and emotionally. she's dysfunctional. unkind. and ultra rude. this is not a nice, normal person making that porn comment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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np: she's also abusive sexually. it is completely inappropriate to insert a highly sexualized comment into the birthday party situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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of a sweet 1 yr old! i wish i could have her locked up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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op: she used to always hit and grab my butt constantly when i was a teenager. i'm so sick of her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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obviously if she has this effect on you you can cut her out. But i thought the "money shot" while used in porn, is ANY shot that a photog could sell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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no more invites absolutely - she's gross and rude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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so she's *your* mother (db's grandmother)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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op:yes. but she's always verbally and emotionally abusive. but then tries to play all innocent. will say 'he's sooo cute.' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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honey, i believe you. i do not question your experience of the situation at all. i too have a crazy mother. your *primary* and *overriding* responsibility at this point is to set boundaries that protect your child. and that includes protecting him from having his *own* mother (YOU) so disturbed and distracted that she cannot participate fully in his life. take care of yourself. btdt and with absolute compassion for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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op: ty. b/c people respond with 'you're a horrible person and you're crazy.' when i say she's v. hurtful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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i know. i get it. really. trust your gut and protect yourself and your child. people who don't come from families with crazy parents really can't understand. it's just beyond their experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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op: it really is beyond them to understand. they have no idea what it would be like to have a grandma liken a 1 yr old blowing out a candle to a man ejaculating in a porn movie -and right when he was blowing out his candle. i have had it. it's awful and too much to handle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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seriously, your child DESERVES to have you fully present during his life. your mother's participation distracts you from this. you don't necessarily have to disown her or anything. but you owe it to yourself to set whatever boundaries *you* need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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she can't visit with us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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then there you go. be present for your son and break the cycle. he deserves it. best wishes to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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I lost my mother when I was 17 and her mother became verbally horrible to my younger sister and I. At a certain point I had to just say "enough". I feel better for it. It's not healthy to perpetuate all that anger... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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^^ it all sounds very disturbing. i'm sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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confusing b/c she's also upbeat and the only family in the area other than my dad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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are they divorced? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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does she know what a "money shot" is or are you projecting? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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maybe she didn't really know what she was saying ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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True, until I read above, I didn't know what it meant. I just thought it was the best photo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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i once said something - granted I was a teen - but people were so up in arms and i just didn't know what i had said... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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no, it's the shot of the man coming - spewing sperm - lol - which tells me the grandma is sexually inappropriate at the very least [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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op: and it's abusive to denegrate a baby's birthday candle blowing out like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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exactly, which is now begging the question - why are you still letting her in your home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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ita. I didn't know what it meant...no way my mom would know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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but this mom clearly does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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op: too much coincidence. the icing on face. blowing out candle. and the sperm on face reference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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absolutely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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you may be right... but maybe she just meant that the best shot is that cute picture with the face all messy and the 1st birthday cake... it's the one you'd pay for... it's the money show... just saying'... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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np: you're kind of colluding with the grandmother's craziness by making excuses for her. not in a mean way. but i really am sure the op would not make up the tone in which she heard the comment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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you certainly know her... you should go with your gut and do what gives you peace in your home... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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I mean OP knows her and should do what gives her peace. i think someitmes I am quick to judge and i am trying to get better at deciding what other people's motives might be... that's my thing though... she has to go with her gut and past history [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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this is how I would interpret it, but OP's mother may be a nutter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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bad for you and your kid. give her the boot! life is too short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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op: well said. i started stammering. "that's ejaculation." why would you say that? and DB is trying to blow out the candle and i'm bright red and in shock. she wants to have that effect. she has to be center of attention [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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Ask your mom point blamk if she knew what that meant and if so why she's say that at a 1 yo b-day party? The ans should help you make a decision better that we can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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op: she lies and likes to lie to me and everyone. she uses a fake name usually at places - like the library. she said 'oh, i didn't mean it that way...' she was lying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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I have a very disturbed mother who has been in and out of my life for years. Right now out of mine, but I allow supervised visits with my dd ONLY because she is absolutely loving to her, gives her everything she couldn't give me and my dd loves her. But yours sounds creepy -- the lying, I mean. Mine doesn't do that. Lying means you can't trust her at all, and the thing she said about db is way hostile, however unconsciously. Sounds like she may have been sexually abused as a child, actually -- is that possible? Lots of borderlines have. Read a book on personality disorders and trust your instincts. Keep contacts structured and ask others to help you handle her or cut her out for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:13 AM Flag
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her need to be the center of attention is reason enough to dump her without all of the gross language. Your attention needs to be elsewhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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op - she always finds a way to damage my life and DB's life even when we only see her a handful of times per year. she's out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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good for you. the other option, if you want limited contact, is to see her a few times a year but NOT at events that she can ruin (i.e., no more birthday or holiday party invitations) but maybe invite her over for dinner a couple of times a year if you feel the need to have some continuity. But you certainly don't need to feel obligated to have her around at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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if she is overly critical of you that is one thing. I don't think the "money shot" comment is a bad one. Kind of funny, imo. But all this stuff is contextual, so only you can really say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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I think you're over-reacting. I doubt she even was making a true reference to porn. I've heard that used in other situations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:56 AM Flag
[ - ] do marriage counselors take health insurance? sorry completely clueless . tia 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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many, many, many health insurance policies will not cover marriage counseling. some will cover counseling if it is coded as family therapy. check your policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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blue cross/blue shield PPO covers it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:14 AM Flag
[ - ] We've had a lot of issues with our current nanny and recently found an awesome new nanny to replace her. However, I'm dreading firing current nanny and feel majorly guilty b/c I know she has a lot of financial problems. Any advice from those that have fired nannies? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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I just went through this. Give her some severance and do on the day you plan on letting her go. Don't let it go on too long or you'll drive yourself nuts. Bottom line, her personal life is not your concern and she may be used to this. She'll find another job. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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Thanks -- we were thinking of letting her work for a week and a half after we told her and then giving her a week's severance. She's only been with us for 7 months, and I'm sure it won't be a total shock to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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To be clear, I meant a week's severance in addition to paying her for working during the notice period. I don't want 10 people flaming me for only paying her for a week when she worked a week and a half! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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Better to make a clean break. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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do not have a notice period. Since she has only worked for you for 7 months, I would give one week severence on the day you tell her, get the keys back and that's it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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I would NOT give notice. You should let her go on the last day you want her to work for you. Give her severance at that time as well. You do not want a woman who knows she is fired taking care of your child, or in your home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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I just did this yesterday. Very similar situation (i.e. guilt about her finances). You just have to bite the bullet and do it. Be honest but a little fib to make the process easier is fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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We did this earlier in the year. Don't give her notice beforehand - on what is going to be her last day, talk to her in the evening, give her little information on why you're firing her (as in: "thank you for all that you've done for us, but it is time for a change"). Pay her for the week and whatever notice period you give her (we did two weeks) and ask her to give back the keyes. Don't let her come back, have new nanny start next day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 09:04 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone else dread seeing book mam's posts ? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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yeah, they definitely take up too much space on a page, for one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:01 AM Flag
[ - ] i have some numbness in my hands and feet-- very slight. anybody btdt. i've been exercising a lot, am 40, and slightly freaked out by this. i know it can be diabetes, ms, or even peri-menopause. just looking for some thoughts if anybody has any. tia! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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you need to discuss with your doctor. could be any number of things. some of them very serious, some not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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have you just gone to a chiro ? sometimes something is just pressing on a nerve and with all the exercising, that would fit... before you jump to MS, jump to something simple... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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just today or has been going on? that's happened to me when i've had too much caffeine or a migraine is coming on. def call your dr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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I get numbness in my hands when I get really stressed out about something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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op here: thanks all. appreciate it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.04.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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