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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] WWYD? DS (27 mos) has brown hair between his shoulders and down his back. Of course I won't do anything now, but I'm worried about his being teased once he's older in school and gym class. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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It'll probably go away, but even if it doesn't, he's wearing a shirt most of the time, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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Yes, I was most concerned about when they are changing in gym class. They did some mean stuff to a guy in my middle school class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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there's something tease-worthy for all dcs. I wouldn't worry about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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You're right, thanks. Now I'm getting more worried about the sexually active kids they're discussing below. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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My DS had this and it went away, but my DD has it and it isn't going away. But as my oldest says, 'mom, they'll always find something to tease you about.' Cant fix everything (and they can wax themselves when they're grownups). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 08:03 PM Flag
[ - ] So tired... and sometimes I think: just bring on the divorce, I don't care, just let me get my payoff and get out of this life 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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so what is stopping you from pursuing a divorce? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:23 PM Flag
[ - ] inside schools is unavailable right now. is that common? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.06.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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it works for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you teach the difference between tattling, betraying a confidence, and telling what should be told to a primary school kid? Child A told child B and C that teacher was an a$$---. Child B told the teacher. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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how old are the kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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9 years old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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A 9yo would have had the intent to get the kid who said it in trouble. That's not right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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I say to my almost 7yo DD: "you can have secrets, but the secrets can't be about something that's hurting your friends or other people." Here I'm thinking of the future when girls know their friends are vomiting up food to stay skinny and what not. Another thing I say is "never pass along anything someone else said bad about someone else." Which is the answer in your case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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How old? Doesn't sound like tattling or betraying a confidence to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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^^can't reply to you b/c of bug, but that is totally tattling and betraying a confidence. there is no reason to say that to a teacher unless you want to get A in trouble. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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depends on age. 9 yos, yes, I can see that. I thought we were talking about 5 yos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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OP: having trouble replying also, but then this is the new and improved ub.... I believe it's tattling also, under the circumstances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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I read an article recently that said most kids lie, and it said one reason is the mixed messages they get -- "don't lie, honesty is good" vs "don't tattle, white lies are ok" etc. I decided I'm ok with tattling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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so it's okay to repeat something said in confidence for the sole purpose of getting someone in trouble? sorry, i think tattlers take pleasure in seeing others get punished. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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so your kid go in trouble for bad mouthing the teacher? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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no. my kids are little. I just feel for this kid. you never said anything to a friend that shouldn't be repeated? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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What kid is it? And what happened to the child? Where was this said? I don't know enough about this situation to judge what happened. If Child A is talking smack about the teacher in the hallways at school, then I think Child A is the problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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what would be gained by telling teacher this no matter where it was said? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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Bc the child knows that you're not supposed to name call or disrespect your teachers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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can't reply below but he was in a private conversation and did not name call or disrespect his teacher. He expressed his opinion (right or wrong) to his friend and trusted the conversation would remain private. Telling teacher was a betrayal on part of child B. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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What happened to your child? The school punished or called you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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I am not OP. just stating my opinion of the situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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I am OP, and you stated it correctly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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neither, mother of child B called to tell me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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To let you know that she thought her ds had tattled or bc she thought your child had done something wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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it was one comment, one time, it's not chronic. there's a difference between venting frustration to a dear friend and spreading malicious rumors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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she is not OP, I am, and yes my child got in trouble. but this was said to his bf of 5 years and he was shocked that his friend repeated his statement. He's really bummed and it's shaken his confidence way more than he would have been upset about being caught cursing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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don't lie and don't tattle are not the same things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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We say, tell the teacher is someone is getting hurt - also say - try to work it out with the child if its a conflict between you and someone else and if you have tried everything, ask the teacher for help - And add, if you find children doing things that might very well get them in trouble, go somewhere else [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 04:35 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone crate trained a puppy recently? My puppy is peeing in his crate (even when I'm gone for only a short time (2 hours). Should I just open up the crate (I have it partially blocked right now as per crate training instructions) and put paper down in half of it and hope that hell go and stay on the dry side? It's my 1st puppy so sorry if this is an idiotic question. tia 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I thought you were not supposed to leave a puppy in a crate when not at home? I thought crate training was just for evenings. We paper trained our dog by locking her in an enclosed space with wee wee pads, and using positive reinforcement. We kept putting less and less pads, and she is perfectly wee wee pad trained. I never crated her during the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Now "they" are saying to crate train you should leave in the crate when you are not around to watch them because they have a natural instinct not to soil where they sleep. Obviously this doesn't work with my puppy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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OR: make sure you clean the crate very well after every accident. i think some it might be a remaining smell so now the puppy thinks its ok. this is what i did when my dog had accidents on a rug/carpet. maybe it'll help. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Don't open the crate up. Keep cleaning it, keep taking him outside as often as possible, and keep up with the positive reinforcement. That's what we did and we've got a very happy, well-trained pooch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:45 PM Flag
[ - ] How can I convince dh to go for #3? We already have wonderful dd/3yrs and ds/2yrs. I would like to have #3 sooner than later (I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to spread their ages out too much) 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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Why is he against it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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He never even wanted one, but agreed before marrying that if it's with me he will do it. He doesn't think he can handle it, too stressful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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just get pregnant "accidentally." worked for me!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I just don't feel right doing that. I was living with him for 10yrs(!) before even getting engaged and had plenty of opportunities then but didn't. I'm secretly hoping that the Loestrin will fail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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My friend did that. She's divorced now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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I convinced DH to go for #3 and she's very like his mom and whenever she's annoying (or like his mom) he reminds me he didn't want her (not in front of her). But he's not the most mature man in the world. And he's doing this less as time goes on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 08:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Possible that we're just running out of oil? How huge could be the impact on our ordinary lives? My God 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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We're not going to run out of it in our lifetimes, but it'll run out eventually and by then the people who are in charge of this stuff will have figured out some alternative fuel. Oil is a choice. The auto industry can build cars that run on other things, it just doesn't have to right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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because our politicians have not made them...gas has been $5 a gallon elsewhere for years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Divorced mom..dating divorced dad for 3 months ..want to get something nice/special for father's day..any suggestions? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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a good lay will do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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he gets that 4x a week..anyone else? ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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wow then a nice leather wallet will do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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wow, you make divorce sound appealing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 09:04 PM Flag
[ - ] God, I had such a f**ing bad day, dh is working until midnight, and I think I'm going to finish a whole bottle of wine. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Go for it. It's Friday. Just drink some water before going to bed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Dh is here and i'm still finishing a bottle of wine, had a crappy day too and dh is watching battlestar *barf*..cheers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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it's friday -- go for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Wow, thanks for the support, everyone--I really appreciate it. I don't normally finish a bottle of wine but... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
[ - ] we're on night 2 of cio and it seems to be worse. db cried twice as long--an hour and a half, and then woke up again twenty minutes later. not teething, as far as I know, but maybe hungry (he didn't eat much for dinner); dh is feeding him now and I am trying not to fall apart. did anyone start out this badly and have it turn out all right? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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is there really no one here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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2nd night is often worse according to the books. 1.5 hours of crying is a lot though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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I'm so miserable. dh sent me out to the corner bar to have a beer--a nice idea, but now I feel like crying myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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How old is db? straight cio or ferber? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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he's 8 mos. we tried ferber, but he got so angry when we came in, so we've been trying it straight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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I think straight cio is better too. GL. Keep trying for a few nights and if no improvement, start something new. It's really hard, but don't give up yet--or these 2 nights db willhave cried for nothing. Go have that beer. DH can handle things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:15 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age did your kids experiment with cursing? How bad did it get? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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actual cursing or potty talk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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actual cursing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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My 6yo dd started saying "shut up" when she was 5yo and gave me a side glance to see my reaction, which always was a calm, "we don't say bad words like that." So she stopped. Then she started saying "shxt" to see my reaction. I reacted the same way. Same result [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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ds was cursing at his cousin's house today, according to my sister. F'ing this, F'ing that.... 10yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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We have the same child, except mine is a ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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honestly, as long as my kids use a word correctly, I don't care what they say. except stupid. they're not allowed to call anyone in the family stupid. and I suggested that my 5 year old not call the crossing guard an asshole for almost getting us run over today. Though I was thinking the same thing! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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lol. Use correctly? So if your kid said "the teacher totally fxcked us over with homework" that would be ok, since it's the proper context? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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well, the homework would really have to be extreme... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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To a 5yo that could be anything! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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huh. that wouldn't fly with me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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I'm thinking it's something I want to curb, but I'm definitely not as up in arms as my sis. you'd think he sold drugs to her kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Do they know about appropriate speech for a situation? BC I wouldn't be happy having your kid in my class if they spoke like this in school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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lol, yes. I haven't heard anything from teachers yet -- and I have actually asked. my theory is that the shock value won't be there when he's 10. We'll see! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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but where does he pick up this language? do you talk like this around your 5yo? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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of course i do! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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When dd was about 21 or 22 months old she started saying "dammit!" when she dropped something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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about the same age my ds told his father to "put that f&*^ing stick down". LOL. We don't use the F word. Must have heard it at the playground. My dh almost fainted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 04:37 AM Flag
[ - ] My 12 week-old just had a blue poop - literally blue, not green, but blue. It had a clay-like consistency. Any advice? What is this? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.06.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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They do this. It's probably nothing. The poop changes all the time as you will see [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I was going to say a popsicle, then saw how old the db was...but for future reference, it's when they've had artificially colored food [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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poopsicle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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np: hee hee [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] I am not sure I'd be friends with some of you in real life. Parenting style very different from a lot of what I see here. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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that's the best part about ub -- seeing all the moms who are doing it all wrong! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] How many after-school programs do most Kindergarteners do? I am trying to figure out how much is too much. TIA! 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 06.06.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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I'd pick no more than 2 -3 things and make them active if a boy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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per week?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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whoa! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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i'm confused. is that too many or too few? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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too many! for a 4 or 5 year old? yikes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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There are no 4yo's in Kindergarten! And many kids who are in full day school to begin with, it's no big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Yes there are in public, cut off is 12/31. My DC will be 4 years old when he starts this fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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Oh, most public K's I know don't offer classes per se for afterschool. It's just gym time or library where kids just chill out. I don't see why this is too much. Besides, most parents work, so the kids all do afterschool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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my preschooler has two afterschool activities and so do the majority of his classmates. and not because their moms woh without a nanny, either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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np. Preschool, even a full-day 5-day/week program, is not kindergarten. A K dc's school day is a lot more demanding than a preschooler's, especially if it's public K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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why active only "if a boy?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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np: right? my girl needs LOTS of active stuff -- she's still wired at 8 o'clock at night, she has tons of energy that one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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I wouldn't do more than one or two. Keep lots of time for downtime. You can add more in the spring if your child has energy, although I would note some kids have a delayed reaction to the stresses of starting K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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I would think even one afterschool thing during the first half of kindergarten is too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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My dc is already used to full day (daycare prek), and I need to work, so dc will be in afterschool program everyday. I was going to have her take 2 or 3 "classes" like jewelry making or cooking wihch she likes to do. And I still need extra childcare until I can pick her up, so she will be in fun house which is quiet time in the library or some space where kids just relax and have down time until parents can pick them up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I am in the same situation. For my older child we still had a babysitter for the little one so we had her come home a few days a week, but she begged to stay after school every day with her friends! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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My child was also in an afterschool program everyday to 5:00, but I think this is less stressful than taking child to other venues for classed, which I think is what OP may asking about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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I'm not planning to do any first semester. I'll see how school is going before I decide on 2nd semester. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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my ds goes to therapy sessions 3x/wk and one gym class. and he still has energy to burn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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depends on the kid -- DS does one cooking class and one sports class. the rest of the days, he usually has playdates... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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cooking? for a boy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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Boys eat, don't they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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np: this question is so so sad... on several levels. I cannot believe it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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ITA. When my ds got a kitchen for his 2yr bday, 1/2 my relatives were all "a kitchen?" IT's great for pretend and he loves it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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yeah, or is weird. cooking should be for girls, sports should be for boys. Isn't that obvious? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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yes. cooking for my very manly man boy... are you forgetting that many of the best chefs in the world are men? stop being so close-minded and simple... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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also, his cooking class takes place at an amazing play place -- when things are baking, they play in a 4-story indoor play structure... another benefit of the burbs... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.08, 08:25 PM Flag
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lol, neither my sister nor I cook, both of our DH's do. My nephew thinks cooking is a male activity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 02:46 PM Flag
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We did none. Knew it would be tough the fist half of the year, thought we might sign up for something the second half, but dc didn't ask and we didn't offer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 04:38 AM Flag
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Well I need extended day so mine will have an activity everyday. Most are pretty relaxed though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 04:46 AM Flag
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most kids in my dc's class have things 3-4 days a week. my dcs both did things 1-2. I think the former is excessive-it is a big adjustment for kids to transition to K. limit it first half of the year and see how things go. both of my kids were in day care full day too before entering K [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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I think it depends on how long the school day is, how "academic" the school is, and whether the classes are at school or at another location. Some private K classes are very gentle and end early. at a school like that, you could do an hour long afterschool class at school every day, or 3 classes outside of school. But if it is a public K, which is generally much harder for kids to get used to, and generally includes hw, I wouldn't do more than one class at school and one class outside of school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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