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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I have a meeting on Broadway & 9th St. Are there any good mix-up salad places in the area? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.26.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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yes there is a deli next to Sbarro [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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or it is famigilia's pizza? The deli is called Bully [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:02 AM Flag
[ - ] hermes offered me a birkin - should i buy it and resell on ebay? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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You'd be buying high and selling at a reduced price, since technically it'd be used [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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not true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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there's no way she's going to be able to sell it on ebay for what she paid for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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yeah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 AM Flag
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who are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:20 AM Flag
[ - ] what is that website that is always posted here for online coupon codes? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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there are hundreds of sites out there. just google coupon and the name of the store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 AM Flag
[ - ] 6 wks post partum, 5'11", 155 lbs - does that seem reasonable? Feel like I still have a long way to go ... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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just shoot me now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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how much did you weight pre preg? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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5'8" 145 pre preg, looked great then. 157 now and am striving toward 150. But I'm in my 40s, not a youngster. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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that is godd, I'm sure you look great still. But actually the question was for op. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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you're crazy... that's well within healthy range even if you weren't post partum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:17 AM Flag
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Oh PLEASE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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what was your weigh pre pregnancy op? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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133 - that's why it seem like a lot. but i was probably too thin before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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yup... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:37 AM Flag
[ - ] looking to buy stuffed animal chair for my 18mth old son - can't find one anywhere. have you seen one? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.26.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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Yup, babystyle has them. Lamb, dog, bear. Really cute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:23 AM Flag
[ - ] have a new laptop, and want to burn a dvd, how can i do this? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.26.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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PC or MAC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:14 AM Flag
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its a hp,what more info do i need to tell? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 AM Flag
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not enough information.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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HP is PC format. In order to burn files to a CD/DVD you need the proper software. If you sure your computer came with it, click your Start button on the bottom left of screen, scroll up to the "programs" and look through the programs for something that might indicate the program. If the names are not obvious, click though each option unfamiliar to you and see what comes up on the sub menu. If you do have a program, you'll see somethng with the words Record or Burn in them. Also, unless it was advertises as part of your package, burning programs do not automatically come with your PC. If you don't have it, go to HP's website and see what they recommend (they may have their own proprietary program you can dowload). You won't learn unless you explore! ;-) Good Luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:29 AM Flag
[ - ] potty training help. we have been doing great for about 3 weeks with peeing, no accidents, diapers for sleeping. this morning, ds pooped in his underwear after refusing to sit on the potty for a few hour. he was SO upset and i felt awful for him. we ended up putting it in the toilet and flushing, but how do I get him to the next stage and help him not freak if he goes in his underwear again? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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try to just return to the normal routine tomorrow. do not refer to today's accident, just praise anytime he sits on the potty and definitely anytime he succeeds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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You don't get upset. Tell him no big deal, next time we will get it. When your tummy feels funny tell mommy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:13 AM Flag
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thanks. I didn't get upset and told him all of this, but am worried that this will make him put off the pooping part of potty training even longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:16 AM Flag
[ - ] Fashion Moms: How to spend $500 NeimanMarcus gift card? I'm WAHM, stick to jeans & tee shirts but still like fashion. I don't spend much on clothes (H & M, J Jill, stuff like that) but the giver really wants me to enjoy myself. I'm thinking DVF Wrap Dress. Want to buy something that will last a long time. Any suggestions? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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Shoes, shoes, shoes. Nothing like a pair of manolo or jimmy choo kitten heels that you can wear to dress up jeans or go to dinner in to last a while and make you feel great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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Oops, should also have mentioned I'm a comfy shoe girl. Not going for the gift of pain. LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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I think DVF dress is a great idea! Or what about a few pairs of nice jeans? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 10:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you know of any class options for next wk for nearly 4 yr old? Looking for 9-12 on UES or close by. I did not sign DC up for camp that wk -- oops. thanks 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.26.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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Our DC did Fastrackids kids for the mornings last week and this week. Fastrack also has an afternoon take a trip to somewhere cool in the city adventure on M, W, Th. (1-4). DC likes the afternoon stuff too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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huh, I thought that was a tutoring center. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Nope - no tutoring there even if you want it. It's called something like an "enrichment" center but the program is geared around topics the kids "study" by working together. Last week camp was a space theme and every day DC did different space related things - learned about gravity, built a space station with the other kids in class (I have a huge control panel at home now just in case), learned about stars, constellations. But its active learning not sit and listen to a lecture. My DC couldn't sit still if it wasn't hands on stuff. Might not sound as fun as soccer or ballet camp - but if your kid is an experiment kind of kid it could be fun for them. You can pay by day to check it out. They send little video links home for the parents to see something the kid did in class that day. Seems like all the kids in DC's class are into it even the shy ones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone explain the whole "citywide" thing to me? We have 2 DCs (finishing 1st & 3rd grades) in the G&T program at a school close to us (PS 230/Bklyn) and I don't remeber this being such a big deal...we took them to get evaluated, they got accepted, that was the end of that. They're getting a good education a block and a half from our house, and that seems like a good deal to me. Are citywides really worth all the trouble? Are they that much better than a district G&T school? Asie from Anderson & NEST, is it really that tough to get kids into G&T? To me, it mostly seems like they were looking for decent social skills and curiosity more than anything else, and I just don't understand the degree of agita some here seem to be experiencing over this process... maybe I'm just clueless, but the whole thing seemed very easy to me. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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I think of the reasons people are so focused on Citywides is Anderson goes through 8th (no middle school stress) and NEST goes to HS (I think, but not certain). do not know about TAG. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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OP: well, I mean, we're starting to have to think about middle school, of course, but it's, again, not the sourse of existential dread that some many here seem to feel it is. If DD gets into NEST, great! if not, McAuliffe or whatever is fine. I guess I just figure they'll test into whatever is appropriate for them... if she doesn't make NEST, the school probably wouldn't have been a good fit anyway. The saddest thing, in our dinky regional G&T, is watching some of the kids from park slope whose parents really pushed to get their DCs into G&T, and the poor kids are in over their heads academically or socially. I'm all for pushing kids to do their best, btu sometimes their best isn't going to be achieved in a super-selective accelerated program and even though it's imperfect, I think the tests help with that. For us it was never really about "making" G&T but more about making sure our DCs were in classes that were suitable to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:21 AM Flag
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The reason we wanted NEST really badly last year was it goes to 12th. I think any good elementary teacher can educate a 5 or 6 year old. It is junior high when your peer group becomes really important. I am so glad to not have to worry about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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btu what if it turns out that stuy, or a non-g&t program, or private is a better fit? I have a hard time thinking "OK, my 5 y.o. is in the school she'll attend til she's 18...I can check that off the list!" Even with our DCs in G&T we talk all yer long aboout whethere they're best served by this program or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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Being in NEST doesn't mean he has to stay there till 12th grade. I know of several older kids going to Stuy, Bronx Sci, etc. next year. Being at NEST just means that he doesn't have to go to John Jay (or one of the three John Jay spin offs.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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but not being at nest doesn't mean he has to go to john jay either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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Granted. In truth I can't remember the name of my zoned Jr High... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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One of the reasons we ranked Nest over Anderson is that it goes to 12th. The middle school and high school are amazing and improving each year (ms test scores fantastic). This whole school process is very stressful and not needing to go through it again is great. We can focus on other things and not worry.. We may choose to leave, but the transitional bumps can be avoided for our dd if she chooses to stay at Nest. Also, how sweet would it be if she can hop downstairs when in HS to visit with her 2nd grade teacher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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They changed admission criteria this year, so kids in citywide programs are guaranteed to be 97% or above, which means your very bright kid guaranteed to be in class w/only other very bright kids. You are lucky you had district G&T right there. Live in Queens and there are no programs locally. Citywide is our only option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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Really? I thought every district had a program! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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Citywide G&T was our only hope because our district didn't have a district G&T. Otherwise I would have stayed local. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 11:54 AM Flag
[ - ] OMG there is a kid on Maury show that is 2 yr old and weighs 92 lbs..another 2yr old weighs 62 lbs. I don't think they have any syndromes causing the obeseness (sp?). One the moms says her son just throws a tantrum if she doesn't give in. WOW 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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^^^the mom's dd died at 9yr old since she was 179lb and slept so deep that she didn't wake up when the house was on fire [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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ugh. awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:09 AM Flag
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that's sick... but why didn't she learn for the second one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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You think it is just ignorance here? There are obviously mental health issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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why are you watching Maury? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:18 AM Flag
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lololllloooll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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op: I was changing ch. and their commercial for the show was on..I couldn't stop looking. Just so sad [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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suuure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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op: believe what you want [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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Obesity is the noun [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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yey grammar police are on! Please Please Please teach us how to speak our native language.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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Didn't the OP ask for help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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usually you put (sp?) in to acknowledge that you're spelling is off so you don't get flamed. Sorry though, I didn't realize you were trying to be helpful, not snarky... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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And I always thought that people put (sp?) in to ask what the correct spelling is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone see Baby Borrowers last night? I thought it was pretty good, just wouldn't dare leave my ds alone with any of those teenagers!! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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I couldn't believe these parents were willing to do this. And then got so self righteous when the kids didn't know what they were doing. Hello! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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I'm assuming they did it for one reason: They got paid to do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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Fine, whatever but the righteous indignation by these moms was hilarious. "Don't call my child an it..." yet they are using the kid as a television prop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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hypocritical is what I would call it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:01 AM Flag
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you do realize that they are never actually alone, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:57 AM Flag
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A registered nanny in the home 24 hours a day to sit in only and not offer any advice counts for nada in my book. Scary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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what exactly is a registered nanny...registered wth whom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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I don't even know. Doesn't even sound legitimate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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the producers would never let anything happen to one of those kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:02 AM Flag
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ITA. The liability risk is too high. The production crew had to be under instruction to get the kid out if anything looked like a real, serious threat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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I'm sure the parents have to sign some sort of release (which is sort of horrifying, if you think about it), but if something bad happened that wouldn't be worth the paper it's written on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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which is why the crew was going to be very cautious. there was no way they would let any of the DCs get hit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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Liability risk is high, I agree. But children are quick. Hell, anything can happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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I don't get parents that would allow this. Development during infancy is so key to so many things, why would you let your kid be exposed to this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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because it was 3 days - do you really think their development would be harmed?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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Um, did you see the show? One child wasn't even getting fed. And that was Day 1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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oh good greef... I can [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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^^^^I can't imagine doing this to a dc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Which address falls into ps87 zone? Trying to move with young DC. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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nycboe.net [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:54 AM Flag
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Thank. I just went there, but can't find my way around to nail the page that shows zoned areas... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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There's a map here on inside schools: http://insideschools.org/fs/school_profile.php?id=74 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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^^^Basically it's the north side of 72nd St north to the south side of 80th St, but with additional blocks in there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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It goes up to the south side of 82nd on the block next to CPW. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:27 AM Flag
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Thanks all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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Always call the school before signing that lease or contract, just to double-check. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anybody know which area falls into PS 87 zone? Trying to move with young DC to avoid this craziness... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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You can look up zones on insideschools and schools.nyc.gov, but it's always possible that zones will be adjusted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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Check the address on streeteasy.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:53 AM Flag
[ - ] My 2yo dd is naturally skinny but the ped says I need to get more protein in her. She won't eat yogurt, cheese or eggs. Any suggestions? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Does she eat meat? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:51 AM Flag
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she'll eat steak and chicken every few days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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hotdogs, start with the veggie/soy but even a regular hot dog. Peanut butter, ricotta cheese mixed with spinach, rice and beans [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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tofu blended into other things... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 AM Flag
[ - ] help, had my second dc over two years ago and I have never been able to get rid of that little tire around my mid section. I have always been what people would consider skinny and still am but now have this new addition which ruins everything I put on. I watch my diet, work out about 3x per week and it is sticking to me...what gives? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:46 AM Flag
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Sadly, you might be stuck with it. Is there a small wardrobe adjustment you can make? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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why would I be stuck with it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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pretty much stuck with it unless you get a tummy tuck... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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8 years since last baby, and I've got a pooch there, too. The more I work out, and the less I eat, the less I notice it. Very easy to say, very hard to achieve. It's where my food goes first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:11 AM Flag
[ - ] I need help. This morning I hit my son. He's almost 3 and I have read all the nice parenting books. I do timeouts, take away toys he throws, try as hard as I can to stay calm and patient and discipline him rationally and calmly but I'm home full time with him and his 1 year old sister and we can't afford much babysitting. This morning I put him in his room for timeout after he burst into his sister's room while I was putting her down for her nap to scream at her, and in his room he took a special book his dad bought him and ripped it to shreds. I lost it. I screamed at him and he just stood there and screamed back at me so I picked him up and spanked him. It's not the first time. I used to work with children who'd been abused. I know all the info about spanking and discipline and offering choices but I am horrified at the rage I feel at sometimes. I don't want to do this. I've been wondering lately if my son is just at the very difficult end of normal (I think he is) because none of my friends have kids quite so defiant and violent. I know everyone will tell me I'm a horrible person and I feel that way already. Are there books I can read that will offer me more solutions than the normal timeouts and preventative discipline? I don't want to be like this and I don't know how to discipline my son effectively without yelling or worse. He doesn't watch TV so I can't take that away. Thanks. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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just relax and talk to him later. Sit him down and apologize. Explain to him that hitting isn't nice and mommy was wrong. Also tell him why you were upset with him. I have a 3 yr old (and an 8 yr old) and talks usually help after blow ups. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:39 AM Flag
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Get some counseling for yourself, now. You can overcome this, and will feel some amount of relief right away just talking about it to a professional. Ask a friend, your doctor, anyone, for a recommendation. I did, when my parenting got raggedy. It has helped SO much. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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i am in the same boat. i have spanked my dd 2x in the last month out of anger and frustration. i know it is wrong too, but i get so tired of being ignored. i don't think we are awful (although i too don't want to be this kind of parent). it is when i run out of "tools" that i lose my mind so i too need some solutions. you are not awful. think about all the parents who spank and think it is fine. i know how you feel though. i do not want to be that kind of parent even for a second. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Oh honey take a deep breath. Nothing is wrong with either of you. I took a great workshop when my son was that age (S.T.E.P. parenting - a very good experience) but mostly you need to try to rise above it. Think about what is crucial to insist on (safety) and let the rest go. This time will pass and it will get easier. Dont forget to praise him when he is doing something great (even playing quietly) and please get as much babysitting as you can - even if it means Ramen noodles for a while. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:43 AM Flag
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Did the spanking help? I grew up in a home where my parents spanked us (down South), and we learned fast! I'm not promoting it, but just wondering how he reacted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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I was wondering the same thing. I get that there might be a fine line between spanking and abuse, but I don't think the occasional spanking is abusive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:48 AM Flag
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op: yes, it helps in that it breaks the frenzied defiant behavior and he dissolves into tears and then wants hugs and says "I'm sorry" and we talk about what happened. I was spanked, too, but I remember how much it made me hate my father and I always swore to myself I'd never hit my kids no matter what... and here I am. When I worked with abused kids we always told parents "hitting works in that it stops the behavior but it doesn't work in terms of teaching the kids long term problem solving skills". Plus, of course, it teaches them that hitting is okay if you are bigger than the person you are hitting. See, I freaking know all this and still, I find myself doing it and feeling so terrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Have you read "Happiest Toddler on the Block"? I went to Dr. Karp's lecture and it was azazing how you can stop a tantrum by empathizing with the kid and giving him full attention for a few seconds to stop the behavior immediately. I recommend the DVD so you can see the procedure being used. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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It seems like the frenzied behavior needed to be stopped. The responder above is right about sitting him down when he is calm and talking to him about it. But don't put it all on you. He needs to hear what he did wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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This is a 3 year old, I dont think a conversation is going to be helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:55 AM Flag
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Not the first time, no. But the pattern over time might. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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My parents hit me quite often and I didn't grow up thinking hitting was OK. So don't worry that the occasional spanking will send this horrific life long lesson about hitting. I empathize with you though, have a 3yo and 7mo, know all about the disruptive behaviour when trying to put baby down for nap. It can make anybody feel very crazy when that happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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ITA. Assuming it was a spank and not abusive, I would have wanted to spank him, too, and I'm not a spanker (I'm a curser, which also sucks.) That was bad behavior. He probably deserved a spank. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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I'll definitely get flamed for this, but if you step back and assess what is going on, what you did might be OK if it were done rationally and purely as discipline. It sounds, though, like it was at least partially done to release your own anger, which is not acceptable... when you're in a high emotional state like that, that's when you can go too far and really hurt a child. I think this is probably why, when we were kids, my mom would tell us that dad would spank us when he got home... he'd just be enforcing disipline whereas she would have been, at that moment, releasing anger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Screw that counseling advice. You weren't abusing the child, you were disciplining. There is a huge difference. Try to let go of this idea that your child has to be your friend. You are the parent, you are the authority figure; there is acceptable behaviour and unacceptable behaviour in your home and you are enforcing it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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The problem is not the spanking, it's doing it impulsively and out of anger. The best advice I've ever heard about this is that the purpose of discipline is to correct and help the child behave, not to make the parent feel better. If you're doing it out of anger or to release emotion, you should not be doing it. If you are doing it out of reason, in a calm state of mind, as a rational considered punishment, that's different--as long as the spanking is controlled (e.g., never hitting with a closed hand, on the buttocks not in the face, etc.). It sounds like OP lost control and that is the danger sign--not the spanking itself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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I suggested counseling, not because I think she was abusive, but because of the way the situation made her feel. She did not sound on top of enforcing right vs. wrong. To me, she sounded stressed and upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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I never understood the idea that if the kids are spanked they will learn it is ok to hit people smaller then them. I was spanked, but not very often, and most of the kids in my neighborhood were as well, and none of us thought that was ok. I agree that doing it in the heat of anger isn't a great thing for other reasons, but I seriously doubt you are bordering on abuse. Sometimes kids just don't listen unless you do something to shake them out of their meltdowns. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:05 AM Flag
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I am pg with 1st and have discussed this with DH. I was spanked every now and then as a child, and don't see it as an abusive act, however now that I am a mom to be, I keep asking myself if hitting (regardless of reason) sets a bad example - meaning there is no reason that one person should ever strike another (want DC to not even consider this is acceptable to do to peers if angry, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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I'm afraid we over-think this. We all want to be perfect and hitting is not perfect. Sometimes, however, I think it is the right tool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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I am not a regular spanker and I try everything in my book of tricks first, but sometimes it is really as if a child needs a whack on the bottom. It is almost cathartic for them inthat the issue has finally reached it's climax and it has been ended by mom or dad. I was spanked maybe two or three times in my life and am no worse for it and I also never have done it unless mychild did something that could really hurt him or his brother, but you should not beat yourself up. A spanking - in my mind - is not abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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you are not abusing your child! I agree it was wrong (as it was done out of frustration and lack of control), but you are aware. What I would advise is when you feel you are losing control, take a time out for yourself -- just tell ds you are very upset and need a time out to relax and think, and just sit and collect yourself. It sounds silly but it really helps (me, anyway). I haven't spanked my child, but he is on the easy side of normal (3yo), and I lose it sometimes in terms of yelling, which I am working on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:52 AM Flag
[ - ] Fat moms: I need a dress for a casual summer wedding. Can you recommend some web sites I might not have thought of? Thanks! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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lane bryant? I just got a wrap dress there (really cute and I was SHOCKED) a few wks ago. I'm pg and will use it for a wedding in a few wks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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Skip the websites and go to Talbots Woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:37 AM Flag
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If this is tmi I understand but the disgust I feel for my body makes me hate shopping. I like to buy something online and just shove it on when its time to go. Health right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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I'm right there with you, but honestly, you'll look better in something that really fits and it's hard to get something online that fits well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:41 AM Flag
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Sigh, I know you are right but it feels like putting lipstick on a pig. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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I know....it's hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:58 AM Flag
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and yet not so hard that I can keep myself from eating when I see the reprecussions. How does that work? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:00 AM Flag
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ITA Talbots woman. and the customer servie there is really great, they treat you with respect. Nordstrom has an extensive line of plus size dressess--I ordered 5 to try on and send back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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I find those clothes very ill-fitting, cut very oddly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Hmmm...I don't have a lot from there, but I have 2 really great dresses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Macys and L&T have some great plus size dresses and not too $$$$ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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Saks is better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 09:50 AM Flag
[ - ] looking for a good kid friendly place for lunch on uws, nyc 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.26.08, 06:36 AM Flag
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There are tons! I especially like EJ's (Amsterdam Ave. @ 82nd Street) and Patsy's Pizza (74th Street just east of Columbus Ave.). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:38 AM Flag
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thanks...i need something to make my dd happy and my 2 friends that I haven't seen in ages happy...if you have any more suggestions, I'll take em! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 06:52 AM Flag
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Homer's 84&Amsterdam (not so great food but fun for kids), Uno's 80&Columbus. Pizza by the Inch 83&Columbus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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my ds loves the pizza at PINCH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Homer's is so completely repulsive. I would do EJs myself... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.26.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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