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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] nanny mom where art thou 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.30.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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spinning new tales for everyone's amusement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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what [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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probably trying to console her poor kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone heard of a gift registry for a birthday party? Makes me kind of uncomfortable. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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Totally inappropriate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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what!? no way are you kidding? where did they register? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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i dont want to say incase they are on. im torn. buy a gift from the registry or not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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yikes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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mu sis did it for her ds 1st birthday and just registered for her second child, a girl. both i think are tacky! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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I think it's okay only for family and only if they ask - like if there are a bunch of grandparents all over the place. Totally tacky to send out to friends! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:00 PM Flag
[ - ] does msc do standardized testing? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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all public schools do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:20 AM Flag
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Technically, Hunter is public and does not, but all DOE schools do, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:29 AM Flag
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They test as well, just not the same DOE tests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 09:11 AM Flag
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what is msc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:28 AM Flag
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Manhattan School for Children, I think their number PS133? - lottery school on UWS. People confuse it with MCS which is private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:31 AM Flag
[ - ] okay need help...ita? codes for urbanbaby...? do help new here and so out of the loop w/ shortened words 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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along the side there is a link for help with board abbreviations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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It says "Boards Help" and under that "abbreviations" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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got it thanks...that helps [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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ita=i totally agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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Me TOO!! And who is too lazy to write I totally agree!? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
[ - ] do we need passports if we will be driving to canada? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.30.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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oui [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone see the article in the Post about Dalton's poor exmissions (I guess compared to previous years). No Harvard, Yale, Princeton acceptances for kids who applied there. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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Well connections may not matter so much anymore. Maria Shriver's daughter was wait listed at Boston College. I was floored. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Don't they live in LA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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there have been a few Kennedys in the boston area over the years... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I've heard of one... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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So what? She's a Kennedy, remember. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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gee...let me think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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I don't think the article says anything about Yale and Princeton vis-a-vis Dalton. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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It mentioned HYP, specifically, but focused on Harvard admissions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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people need to get over the holy trinity HYP. there are at least 40 other top caliber schools that i would be proud to attend htat are not ivies. And btw i did attend two ivies so i know of what i speak. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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The article gave no statistics on Dalton's Yale or Princeton admissions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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I didn't say stats. What I said was it mentioned those 3 schools. To quote: "She says: “The consensus is that the school took its eye off what it’s supposed to be about”—that is, getting kids into Ivy League schools or, more specifically, the holy trifecta of Harvard, Yale and Princeton." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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Here's the article, btw: http://www.nypost.com/pagesixmag/issues/20080629/Private+School+Rejects [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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and the NYPost tends to be such a well-researched publication :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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You misplaced the quotes in the article.. Honestly, you guys would fail the 4th grade ELAs. You can't read and interpret correctly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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She was mistaken. Dalton is not about getting kids into ivy league schools. Not do I place much importance in someone saying they will not send their grandchildren to Dalton. My parents (may they rest in peace) did not choose where my child goes to school. that's something i do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Regarding Down's post: Recently had a conversation with an OB who is totally pro-choice and speaks out on the subject. He says he often advises patients who are adamently pro-life to do no pre-natal testing. He explained by saying that when faced with the enormity of certain defects, people many times choose to abort and then they feel guilty and like sinners the rest of their lives. He feels that feeling wrong with your God is worse for many of these patients (who do choose to abort). I thought is was very interesting... 48 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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not sure i follow. he thinks pro-lifers should do testing to see if they abort upon hearing the reults? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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He thinks that Pro-lifers like everyone else can get overwhelmed with the gravity of a deformity, choose to abort, and then never forgive themselves for what they have done. He says sometimes they also face terrible recriminations form family and church members. Therefore, he advises them to pass on the testing. I thought it just sounded very sensitive and respectful on his part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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so he wants to make the decision for them? And why recriminations? The pro-life people tend to not broadcast having abortions and such. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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I think it's probably advice they can take or choose not to take. They ultimately decide what to do ! Your doctor is there to guide your medical decisions and show you options and what her experience has shown to be true. You make the ultimate call as the patient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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I think advising no pre-natal testing is hugely irresponsible if that's something you would recommend otherwise. I would hope most OB's are not in their patient's business like that. Also, most really religious people would not go to pro-choice OB that speaks out on the subject. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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But I don't think OB's are in the business of recommending prenatal testing. I would say they should let patients know what is available should the patient WANT testing, but if patient asks for their advice, I think that HAS to take patients beliefs and circumstances into consideration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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Seriously ? That's what you got from the post ? He is doing some wacky "check and see" if they will or won't ?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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This is an interesting viewpoint, although I really do wonder how committed someone is to their belief if they go ahead and terminate anyway. I wonder if sometimes, it's the guilt of not having had enough strength to consider raising a severely disabled child or to "let nature/God/etc." take its course" that is what is later so difficult for people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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Maybe you're right, but even a committed person must really freak out under certain conditions and this man is at a teaching hospital so apparently sees really difficult cases as well as normal cases. I was just impressed since so many people seem to think that if you're pro-choice you feel that everyone else should be too. He has genuine concern for his patients. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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i don't doubt what he's seen, but i really wonder what the aftermath for people who choose not to test and end up dealing instead with late term in utero deaths, stillbirths, newborn deaths or severely disabled children to raise. i know many parents who chose not to test bc they though that it was mostly for DS and then were definitely traumatized with the severe conditions that were discovered later and dealing with those repercussions too. i am adamantly pro choice, but i believe that people should make informed decisions - whether it be to continue or to terminate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:17 AM Flag
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I am sure it is a tough way either way. I think he would say that it if in the end it is terrible and tragic, they can turn to their God. If they about, they feel they have no one to turn to as they violated something they feel to be vital to their relationship with God. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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^^ meant to write "If they abort" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:20 AM Flag
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you may be right and i simply may not be spiritual enough! i personally think an active choice is better either way then letting it just "happen" but i imagine that that is a matter of faith. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:31 AM Flag
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but you - or I - would not be the person he is thinking about. That's exacly why it struck me. We like science and technology. he does too. he is simply saying that if your faith in your God is so great that you have always felt that abortion is murder and there is no justifiable termination, go with that... These - presumably - are people who feel an active choice has already been made by God. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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But they don't if they end up having an abortion, do they? They should not be deprived of the facts, nobody should. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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OP Nobody is deprived of facts. He tells clients that testing can lead to lots of really difficult questions and he lets them decide for themselves what to do. He is a doctor, not a dictator. I think he is just sensitive to his patients' stated views and looks out for them if they are pro-choice or pro-life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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We obviously have very different opinions on what OB's job is. My OB has no clue whether I am pro-choice or pro-life, nor should she. Her job is to provide me with medical advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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I have a long erlationship with my OB and he knows a lot about my life... If I were pregnant now (past 40) I assume he would know my feelings about testing and whether or not I would ever terminate a pregnancy too. I don't think it's odd. It's part of your reproductive health. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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Nobody ever really knows what they would do until faced with the decision. You may think you do, but unless you have been there you really don't. So there is no way your OB does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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No, but if my OB knows that I find no excusable rationale for abortion, telling me that testing may present more problems than benefits is fine advice IMHO. Why bother with the testing ? Why put yourself through the months of anguish and second-guessing yourself if you do not need to ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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The point is that you never know whether you'd abort or not until presented with the situation. Many people thought they'd never do it and at the end they did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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He is saying that he is concerned for the faith / mental health of these people. I think he's a good doctor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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Sounds like he should be a psychiatrist or counsellor of some type not an OB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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Read all the posts on UB. Most of these women want their OB's to be mind-readers, doctors, counselors, child-rearing experts, dieticians, and probably attorneys, dry-cleaners, and accountants too ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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That makes no sense. God forgives that stuff too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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I think lots of people think it's the gravest of sins. a fall from grace kind of sin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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The most religous person I know had no trouble to seek out abortion for his teen daughter when need arose. Lots of them are complete hypocrits too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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that is the truth. dad is an OB and the pastor of the largest most vocal Southern baptist fire and brimstone church came in (I was working at the desk) to get a termination for his daughter. Saw it with my own eyes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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really? you know MANY parents who did not test and then had severe conditions that traumatized them? What issues? I simply don't believe you, unless you work in a pediatric specialist's office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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I don't know many, 'only' 3 but they all have extremely hard time with the situation and would have aborted had they known in advance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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due to personal experience, i belong to a group for this, so yes, i know many. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:15 PM Flag
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That is me. I am personally pro life. Then tests came back showing very high probability of Trisomy. I was at a complete loss for what to do. There was no heartbeat when dw went for amnio so we never had to make that decision. My heart goes out to those parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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i am also sorry for you and what you went through. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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just curious, why did you test if you are pro-life ? Just to know what you would be facing in the future ? To prepare should there be a problem ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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You know, it is a fair question but I don't think I have an answer. I mean how often do you do those kinds of tests thinking, "Well, if the worst friggin' thing I have ever heard of happens, what will I do?" And what if the result is even more horrible? We saw dw's OB for the results and when we walked out, my wife turned to me and said, "I was ready for my worse nightmare, she (OB) was going to tell me the baby had Down's. And I could have dealt with that... but this is so much worse." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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i think your situation is the one that most people really aren't considering - not the things that you and db could live with, but the ones that are life-ending. bc DS is the most common and therefore well known and also one that can be mild to moderate for many, I think people forget about the other things. I am sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:33 PM Flag
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I was numb at first. Then, being a guy, I decided I just needed more information. So I read up on what was wrong (I assumed) with my baby. Holy shit... that was a bad idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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This is crap. If you know you'd abort for some defects you should do pre-natal testing. Many people regret having the child too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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np: did you not understand the original post? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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I did, and still think OB advising patients not to get prenatal testing in spite of knowing it would make a difference to the family is highly irresponsible. I would livid if my OB did that. OB should not pry religious beliefs of his/her patients to begin with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:35 PM Flag
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Maybe you read the original post, but you didn't understand it. The OP said that the OB counseled his patients who are adamently pro-life and say that their religious faith and teachings on this are not changeable and do not have a grey area not to test as - in his experience - they sometimes abort, regret it later, and cannot turn to their faith for support as they have violated a key principle. They are then bereft and lost. It says that he is pro-choice, and I assume he regularly advises most patients to test. This is an exception. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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I think that doctor sees in his practice that the "difference to the family" if they do abort is a giant tragedy for them and they have regretted it. I assume you would be counseled differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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Sorry but you sound like a religious freak. OB should give sound medical advice, religious people have their other people to go to for spiritual advice. In any case, hopefully few people are moronic enough to listen to such lousy advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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God bless you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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I think there's a difference between saying that one should think long and hard about what they hope to gain from prenatal testing before they opt for it, rather than just telling people to do it and deal with the results later. some people want to be able to terminate, others want time to prepare, but there's definitely a group that is not sure why they would test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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Thank you. I agree and thought I was in the Twilight Zone reading these responses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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i think though that the OB in the OP was not willy nilly asking people re religious beliefs and tellign them not to test, but rather when prenatal testing is offered, many people have no idea what they want. i think that OB probably says "if if you are adamantly pro-life in your personal beliefs, then what would be the purpose of testing? because if you are faced with the worst case scenarion, you may be tempted in spite of your beliefs to terminate and you may later regret that decision." most people i know DO ask their OBs what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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OP Correct ! He is a great guy and I'm getting all upset that people are interpreting this so negatively. Maybe I didn't explain it well enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 02:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. I'm a realtor who tried to get a listing from friends of friends - Sellers never once returned my call. Just found out they bought the house next door. How do I deal with this? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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what's there to deal with? It's business not personal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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Never returning a call is gross - rude people make for yucky neighbors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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probably felt uncomfortable. Realtors call way too often, sellers hate using someone who sounds desperate. They were friend of a friend, they had no responsibility to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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Oh please, I called twice - hardly desperate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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gross? Do you call people back all the time when you don't want their services? They probably had a ton of calls if they interviewed multiple people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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I treat people the way I want to be treated. I've lived in my neighborhood a long time and have lots of friends. They could have been polite and it would have gone a long way towards smoothing their welcome here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Oh let me guess - SAHM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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OP: I struggle to understand people who justify tacky manners - I have to believe this person has been long out of the work world too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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Sounds like you all will make a lovely crowd! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Are you sure they knew you were a friend of friends? I probably wouldn't call a realtor back who I thought was just cold calling me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Lawyers moms: One of zoned public schools my dd applied to for one of their extra spots will not explain their admissions/wait list criteria. They just keep it vague, no top, bottom, just say there is "a list." Grounds for a lawsuit? How make accountable? 88 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.30.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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For Gods sake! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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please what is ITA mean? new here LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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i totally agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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tri-ta-ta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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call the doe and explain the situation. it will go around and around for awhile but eventually you will hear. but i think you just have to deal with the fact that dd is not going to this school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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So, you want to know where your dd is on the wait list and they won't tell you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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OP: Exactly. I pushed them on it & they couldn't tell me what their criteria was. But it is clear that they take people from certain PreKs and certain neighborhoods/buildings. They operate like a private school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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you're making a lot of assumptions here. there's always something nefarious going on if you aren't one of the chosen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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Um, yeah if it is a "public" school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Yes. Anytime you don't get what you want, you should sue. That's how we Lawyer Mom's make our living. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Lets make it a Class Action - after all this is Big Time damages. Why OP is frustrated and we can't have that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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And we should fight it all the way to the Supreme Court! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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Certainly not as english teachers! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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Moms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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if it was a lottery administered by the doe, you need to speak to the doe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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not a lottery, just up to principal... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:00 PM Flag
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first you should sue the obstetrician who delivered YOU. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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OP: Replies here make it pretty clear that you either don't have a really crappy zoned school that you are trying to get out of OR you don't have any expectation that a "public" schools will behave accordingly, with fairness & the uqualiy expected of a public system open to all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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you can move. I chose to live in a good zone. If I couldnt afford one I wouldnt have kids in nyc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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The point is the zoned school has quite a few open spots for non-zoned kids, but instead of doing a lottery they handpick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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you should be happy you even have a shot living outside the zone. at most good schools this is not the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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I don't believe this in the current era. before it was true. now its centralized. you are wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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what school is this? where is it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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261, Brooklyn. Great school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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np: yeah, we applied, too. It was pretty obvious that they pick who Carmen likes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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ooooh! now were naming names! lol! maybe you should try eastern europe with that mentality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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She's the parent coordinator. It's not like it's a secret. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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Hello. I feel like I know the entire staff at Anderson from the posts here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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She is going to be replaced next year. Too many people complained about "The List." Job became too big for her, didn't use to be 200+ kids applying out of zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:37 PM Flag
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so why are they replacing her, if its a systems problem? typical govt agency. blame the little person behind the desk. look like you are taking action. sheesh.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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i think it is a combo of problems. basically horrible communication all around. next yr will all be centralized. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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here's my carmen quote: "we don't have a g&t program here. zip thinks all the kids are gifted. and anyway, that program ended up just being for one race." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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np: I think I like carmen. very cute! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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yes, except i'm hispanic and the parent i was with was black. so she was telling us that our kids wouldn't hack it. it was insulting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Are you kidding?! Did they offer you a spot? I am assuming, you'd decline, but of course Carmen is just one person. Heard something similar from a black friend of mine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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no serious. but i am a parent at 261 and heard a rumor there was going to be a g&t. so i asked carmen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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maybe you have made yourself a PITA, and they are not picking your dc because they don't want a problem parent in the school. getting a spot when you are non zoned is a privelege. they are not likely to offer it to someone who is threatening and crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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OP: Ahhh, yes, that is it. I am threatening & crazy. I see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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I think calling and demanding to know their criteria, and then threatening a lawsuit is a bit much. I would run from someone like you if I had a few extra spots to dole out. Yes, you are a bit crazy, and certainly threatening. Most of us are just trying to get by. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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Didn't threaten lawsuit to school, duh. Point is DOE does jack, so there is no channel to point out that admissions are not treating applicants equally. If yo looked at my question above, I asked for other ways to create accountability -- any constructive ideas? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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write an email to joel klein requesting that the current system be replaced by a lottery like the one held in D3 or D1. if its only one school, it may be quite easy. put 200 names into a computer and announce the winners around the time when G&T placements come out. a lawsuit seems extreme for this situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, yes, much fairer. And next yr when everything is centralized it will work like a lottery. If they can get this years kinks out (preK....) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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so why even discuss lawsuit then. the system is changing for the better. more fair, more transparency. frankly, non zoned spots will soon go the way of dicretionary spots. there will be no room anymore. lotteries will no longer exist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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sorry, but i agree with poster above. if you want a guaranteed spot at a good school, move to the zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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ding, ding sing! but then that would require Op to retire her love of confrontation and bullying. she would actually have to put her energy into something positive. might be a huge letdown. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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OMG! Just cannot take this public mentality of suing over anything and everything. You people need to make better life decisions, and not put all the responsibility on these govt agencies to take care of you. the doe provides schools. if you don't like the one near you, try moving. move anywhaere, but do what is best for your dc, even if it means moving to atlanta or someplace. you cannot go around suing for everything. it will not help your dc in a timely enough way to make a difference. you need to have a better back up plan than tying yourself up in a lawsuit for the next several years. do something now for the sake of your dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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OP: it is not about my dc at this point, but it is about making a public system transparent & fair. I would never talk about a lawsuit, but the DOE has no accountability. Read the press -- They don't respond to appeals by politicians or the Public Advocate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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what are you talking about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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maybe you should read something other than UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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why so insulting? frankly, I feel these calls by politicians on behalf of one dc to get into a school are just BS grandstanding for the politicians own gain. sort of ridiculous, and I don't think the doe should cowtow to politicians calling like entitled, demanding bigshots who are making a scene to get publicity. screw them, I say. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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NP: not about 1 dc -- there were a couple hundred kids waitlisted at 261. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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not sure what the beef is. of course a couple hundred are w/l'd. if too many apply, most will get w/l'd. if the school has discretion, and there is no official lottery, they have to choose somehow. I suppose a lottery makes sense. would save them major hassles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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Hey my ds got waitlisted at 261 too. Maybe I should sue also. I had figured that there were simply too many kids for too few spot but clearly there's something insidious going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:16 AM Flag
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so you are not even seeking a spot for your dc? just calling them and harassing them about their criteria? I think you need a new hobby. the DOE is overhauling the whole system. if there are a few discretionary spots left, so be it. hardly worth some big lawsuit. this is not communist china. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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hope you are all set for the Fall! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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if I did not like where I ended up, I would figure something out. you obviously have a lot of energy, and should put it to better use helping your dc get into a better school you would be happy with, not harassing the doe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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OP: my dc has a spot, but there are plenty still scrambling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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why are you leading the charge? write a letter, get a petition requesting a lottery and be done with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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NP: the idea of discretionary spots is antithetical to public school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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maybe each principal should have 5 such spots for kids whose stories move them, or whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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I actually think they should do away with all lotteries and spots for kids out of zone. I think this policy allows for people to go elsewhere, and no one then works to make local schools better. DO YOU HEAR THAT JOEL? GET RID OF ALL UNZONED SPOTS!!! Then there will be no fighting about transperency or the poor 200+ w/l'd kids. let them all stay in their zones and make the school better. all zones are so crowded these days that the lotteries will soon be a thing of the past [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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yeah, then schools will be completely segregated socio-economically. Corcoran will be determining zone lines. Forget about diversity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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oh please! the people rushing to claim non zoned spots are whitey white! probably with $$ to boot! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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sure, but once those zoned lines are enforced next year, it will all be about real estate & if you don't have the $ you can't cross the line. Big effect on transitional nabes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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that's the way it is everywhere in the country. how would you do it? give everyone a lotto #, and may the best woman win? please, people in wealthy nabes would never stand for that. it has always been about real estate, and it always will be. plus, it would cost way too much to bus kids all over the city, and would have deleterious effects on community and quality of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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The school is probably being vague because the DOE has centralized the process but they have not yet received clear instructions from headquarters on how they should handle admissions/WL, signed non-lawyer mom who works for a non-profit watchdog group full or lawyers who take on the DOE when warranted. I don't think the school folks are holding out on you, they just really don't know because the process has been so confusing for them, even more so for them than for us anxious parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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thank you. people here are so quick to jump on the anti bandwagon. paranoia prevails at every turn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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the WL at 261 has been like this for a few years. Preference given to certain Preschools & people who have friends in the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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that is your paranoia. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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why do you say that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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you have said yourself that there are too many applicants for too few spaces. they will also have a lottery down the road/ they have to decide somehow at this point. doesn't seem all that nefarious to me, and you seem like a trouble maker, and being sure that particular people are getting something over you just sounds paranoid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:02 AM Flag
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OP: if they can't manage a lottery, they could do it first come first serve, but handpicking for a public school is nefarious. For ex., no kids from one PreK get picked, but all of the kids from another do. Maybe if your zoned school was overcrowded and handpicked kids you would get the point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:07 AM Flag
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I would figure their criteria include giving preference to one preK. Don't see why that is a problem either. they have to choose somehow, and perhaps that preK is closer or has longstanding ties to the school. whatever. you sound quite crazy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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I don't think it is paranoia. I have heard people talk openly about "flagging" applications for the wait list at Midtown West. I think schools had to clean up their lotteries, but the wait list is still open to pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:17 AM Flag
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np: in addition to their own admissions this year, they got 34 extra Kindergarteners as OSEPO was doing admissions, too. While a number of parents pointed this out to Carmen & OSEPO, neither could get it together to call each other & straighten things out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Please ask your organization to provide a better forum for us to discuss this instead of this joke site where no one would take us seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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sounds like they got too many kids, and the w/l is meaningless. will have a lottery next year, so this is all a moot point, and you are wasting everyone's time. np, btw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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There is a forum at insideschools.org where real discussions about stuff like this goes on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:36 AM Flag
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I believe there are changes afoot on the IS site, but as it is now it doesn't encourage quick exchanges like this. I am torn, but I think the discussion would probably be more constructive if it weren't anon. That said, there are juicy -- and important -- things people say here b/c it is anon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:27 AM Flag
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Op: Yes, lawsuits seem extreme, but the DOE is a recalcitrant beast. If poitning out the err of their ways were as simple as inviting Joel Klein for coffee we wouldn't have groundbreaking change like Brown v BOE. Clearly not about $, but about getting the ear of the policymakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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np then you should study what's wrong w/the doe on a broader scale and make a better lawsuit. this is a small part of a bigger problem. and btw, don't believe the hype about 261. we were there. we left. yes the administration is open to parent involvement, but just over 10% of parents participate. in a school that size it makes a small ripple. and the principal, need 2 assistants, not 1. she's overtaxed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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OP: ITA, way more probs here; i do think they need to pinpointed individually but perhaps as part of much greater effort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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but who is the lawsuit serving in the end? middle class parents? all kids? a city like our should be providing a decent education across the board. the best schools are propped up by $$ from the middle class. then we all fight about getting in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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It makes the DOE enforce their own policies & it makes them think to respond to parents who need help, i.e. no placement in sibs school, no mid. school asst. DOE doesn't care about its constituents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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You can sue. Anyone can sue. It won't get you what you want, however, in this case. If the school is Midtown West, I hear they cleaned up the lottery but there is still some "flagging" that may go on for the wait list. I agree that this is unfair, but here's the question: do you want the spot for your child or do you want justice? If you want the spot, then I think the best course is to be friendly rather than confrontational, make them aware of how much it means to you, to your child, tell them all the things you love about the school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:15 AM Flag
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i think the vagueness for a wait list in this case is ok, can help people who are not as 'in the know', aggressive, etc. we got an out of zone k spot at that school, i think primarily because of (respectful) persistence. not in either 'certain' pre-k or neighborhoods/buildings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 02:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Will be taking the subway to bring DS to a new school in the fall. At what age does he pay his own fare? I still have him going under the turnstile. Is that wrong? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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he can get a student metrocard from school otherwise i say let him keep going under. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:58 PM Flag
[ - ] what other normal "Z" names are there besides Zachary and Zoe?? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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Zelda, Zane, Zander [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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Zena [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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yuck, yuck and yuck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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it is yucky and not really normal but I couldn't think of anything else LOL!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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totally normal if you are Greek [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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I like Zane [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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love Zane [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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I like Zane [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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Zela, Zenia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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Any name can be a Z name. Zames, Zoug, Zeter, Zohn, Zella, Zadison, Zophie, Zindy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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are you kidding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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Zrooke, Zoah, Zamantha, Zaniel, Zussel, Zomas... You don't like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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LOve Zeb ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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Zealand - only the cutest name EVER! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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Zane, Zawadi, Zahara, Zebulon [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Apropos of nothing, but you'd think, after Jude cheating on her while they were engaged, Sienna Miller wouldn't then hook up with a married man (Balthazar Getty, according to gossip sites) with FOUR kids. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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of course, she hooked up with jude while he was married with 3 kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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She did? I hadn't known that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 06:06 PM Flag
[ - ] my dh is about to start crying as he watches the mets game right now 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.30.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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is yur DH my dad ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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your dh? please - i am about to cry! my dh keeps telling me to calm down! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Tonight is another of those nights that I don't think dh and I are going to make it. I am so angry at him all the time. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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why ? what does he do ? what do you do to add to the situation ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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it is such a long story i wouldn't even know where to begin. sometimes i just feel that we've reached our end. nothing horrible is wrong, we just don't get along about anything at all anymore. we live together and raise dd together but there's no real connection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] what did your parents do for a living? what do you and dh do? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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[ - ] Is decaf bad to drink when preg? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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