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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] 2 yo is a great kid but we are having real struggles with listening, following rules, etc. He doens't seem to understand timeouts. Sometimes he responds when I tell him no, sometimes not. The only thing that is effective is physically getting down, grabbing him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at me, and then telling him very firmly (kind of meanly) what he's doing wrong and what he should do instead. What am I supposed to be doing? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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not that...he's 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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So what should I do? It feels a little harsh which is why I am asking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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geez, he's not a dog (and, frankly, i wouldn't treat a dog that way). he's 2--ignore annoying behavior, reward good behavior (this will also work with most dogs, btw). stop mauling your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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OP: Today this was when he was playing with an outlet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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get outlet covers. Child proofing does wonders for lessening the need to discipline. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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OK. It was at someone else's house but I hear your point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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stick a couple in your purse--they take up very little space [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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^^^also, distraction works wonders at that age [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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Thanks. How about earlier today I was trying to change his diaper and he ran away from me and then kicked me while I was doing it despite my saying no kick, trying to distract, etc? What to do in that situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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sometimes you just need to calmly repeat things. No kicking mommy. Don't get worked up. Look him in the eye and say it. When my dd was around that age she ate sand at the playground. I jsut had to say it over and over...no eating sand. One day she got it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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I wouldn't even bother to say no after the first time. If distraction doesn't work, just wordlessly change his diaper--it's fine to hold him down while you're doing that. Remain calm--toddlers love big reactions. And keep rewarding good behavior. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:58 PM Flag
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my ds is the same way, and I feel as if he listens to my dh more than me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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Think of your disciplinary techniques as a toolbox -- you need to match the tool for the job. What you described is fine for playing with an electrical outlet IMO, as long as you use gentler techniques for milder offenses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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That's a good way of looking at it. I let a lot of things slide b/c I don't want to constantly be nagging at him, but safety and hurting others seems like it should be taken seriously. I want to be effective but not mean! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Hunter mom observation - I can barely think of a child who is not (1) an only or (2) a first born or (3) if has an older sib the older sib is also at hunter. Plenty of hunter kids with younger sibs at other schools. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.30.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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The two I know who got in are both younger sibs whose older sibs did not get in [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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are the older sibs same sex or opposite sex? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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Why would that make a difference? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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just curious - just for fun - no biggie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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One the same, one opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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My kid headed to Hunter and is a second child older sib NOT at Hunter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 07:03 AM Flag
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I don't think any sibs got in this year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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Of course. I know four kids in my dcs public with siblings at Hunter. Such is life, it is not really a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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There are also many children who are twins where the twin does not attend Hunter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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I know 3 sets of sibs at Hunter. They're now older, but started in K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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3 sets is definitely not a lot compared to if it were a zoned school--where likely half of each class would have a younger or older sib. That is definitely not sibling preference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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Are you sure BOTH dc started in K? I know a few sets of sibs, but in each case one of the kids entered at a different point. One set, the first dc entered in pre-K and the other in K, the other 2 sets one dc entered in pre-K or K and the other one came in at the HS level. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:32 PM Flag
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Does it matter whether they started in K or pre-K? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:34 PM Flag
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Not sure what you mean does it matter? I only mention it because in the past you could try to get dc in for pre-K and if it didn't happen you got a second chance the next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:39 PM Flag
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i know two hunter dcs whose younger sib did not get in and one set of sibs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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Hmm.. you got something there. My only dc got into Hunter and 2 kids I know at Hunter are either only dc or a first dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 03:20 PM Flag
[ - ] ttc but no success so far (over a year). I stopped doing alot of things I enjoy because I didn't want to risk anything. Would it be so bad to go horseback riding with some friends this weekend? Is that only a risk in later pregnancy? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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Yes, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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you're not pg? honey, go horseback riding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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if you limit your life to what is not risky, you wouldn't do anything [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:33 PM Flag
[ - ] So sad. My good friends' kids say the meanest things to my ds. I guess I have to tell my friend no more playdates and explain why. Awkward. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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^^^How is this for a note cancelling plans to go to the beach with my friend and her kids and my kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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After thinking about how things went today - I think maybe a long car ride & day at the beach isn't a good idea now. The chemistry between the kids just makes me so sad and anxious. I know A is no angel and can add fuel to a fire, but I just feel like I'm not a good mom by putting him in a situation where he is being criticized. I try to come up with ways for him to talk and defend himself (and to explain why it's happening), but they backfire and add fuel to the fire (for example, I said, "Z is just being cranky" instead of saying "Z doesn't like you any more." but then when A says in response to something "Z you're being cranky" he is told he's doing something wrong...I have run out of ways to deal with it ). I know A is a little eccentric and is an easy target because he's different in some ways and is stubborn with his ways, but Z started a year ago saying really hostile things to both kids. I also know it's a stage that A will likely go through too, but it makes me very uncomfortable placing A in that situation. Then when L started criticizing A's dancing at the party - when I was SO proud of A for doing so well at that party where he was so out of his element and he only knew L who was participating and he danced in front of a crowd when he had no idea what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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eccentric and is an easy target because he's different in some ways and is stubborn with his ways, but Z started a year ago saying really hostile things to both kids. I also know it's a stage that A will likely go through too, but it makes me very uncomfortable placing A in that situation. Then when L started criticizing A's dancing at the party - when I was SO proud of A for doing so well at that party where he was so out of his element and he only knew L who was participating and he danced in front of a crowd when he had no idea what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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do you really have to say so much? how about stopping after the first sentence? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Dude ... just cancel, talk about it in person. Do NOT send this e-mail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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I think this is too much detail and her feelings are bound to get hurt. If her kids are doing this with yours then then it is probably happening with other children as well which is probably painful for your friend. How about suggesting shorter playdates together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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where there is not as much time to fight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Simple. Your ds doesn't have to be friends with your friend's ds. Your ds decides who his friends are, not you. So basically say ds isn't interested in playdates with this mean kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I wouldn't send that email. Too much info, too many words, too much emotion. Don't call for playdates and if she calls tell her A doesn't want to but would she like to get together with you for coffee or something. That way you maintain your own friendship w/o force-feeding the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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These suggestions are better (more diplomatic) than how I dealt with a similar situation in the past, which was distance and cutting off the friendship! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:50 AM Flag
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to the OP: you sent that email, didn't you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know anything about Saratoga County? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Ethan or Ezra??? DH and I are trying to decide -due in a few days. Thanks 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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Ethan, Ezra sounds like a girls name to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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Ethan. who is Ezra Pound? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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neither. i have an ethan and i can tell you there are way to many ethans. i love my ethan but i regret choosing the name. Now for Ezra...I can't imagine ever being turned on by a guy named Ezra. I know this is a bit premature but it certainly isn't sexy or manly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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neither [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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I like Ezra. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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does it have to be an E name? What about Gideon instead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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does it have to be an E name? how about Evan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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ethan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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I prefer Ezra. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 07:00 AM Flag
[ - ] i lost my job last december and decided to stay home with my 1 and 3 yo until they'll both be in school. Now my husband has a lot of stress at work and is accusing me that all the pressure to secure our family's future is on him and that i am walking the easy road. Basically he wants me to get back to an ambitious job asap but my priority is with the kids right now and i know the two are hard to combine. Any advice? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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you should read the book The [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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The Ten Year Nap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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yes, realize it's not all about you--you and your dh need to make a decision that works for the whole family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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It sounds like this whole decision has been up to you (not getting fired but choosing to stay unemployed). That is a decision that affects him and the whole family and it doens't seem fair that you get to make it all by yourself. You need to explore the options together and decide together what works for your family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Ethan or Ezra? Due in a few days. TIA 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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Ethan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Traveling with 6 mo triplets. 3 adults. How many kid seats should I purchase for a 2 hr flight? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.30.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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If money is no object, 6. If it is, 3. Check with the airline, some offer discounts for infant seats, but only on the phone--not online. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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skip the infant ticket. when you check in ask if there is a free seat and bring the car seat on. i do this on jet blue flights. they are accomodating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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triplets. she is traveling with triplets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:25 PM Flag
[ - ] why am i atching jo and slades show on bravo...ugh bedrest what are you doing to me 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.30.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Do you have a Netflix membership? You can stream some movies/shows on their website. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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