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06.30.08, 19:10 PM General Topics
11 replies
So sad. My good friends' kids say the meanest things to my ds. I guess I have to tell my friend no more playdates and explain why. Awkward. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.30.08, 07:10 PM Flag
 

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^^^How is this for a note cancelling plans to go to the beach with my friend and her kids and my kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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After thinking about how things went today - I think maybe a long car ride & day at the beach isn't a good idea now. The chemistry between the kids just makes me so sad and anxious. I know A is no angel and can add fuel to a fire, but I just feel like I'm not a good mom by putting him in a situation where he is being criticized. I try to come up with ways for him to talk and defend himself (and to explain why it's happening), but they backfire and add fuel to the fire (for example, I said, "Z is just being cranky" instead of saying "Z doesn't like you any more." but then when A says in response to something "Z you're being cranky" he is told he's doing something wrong...I have run out of ways to deal with it ). I know A is a little eccentric and is an easy target because he's different in some ways and is stubborn with his ways, but Z started a year ago saying really hostile things to both kids. I also know it's a stage that A will likely go through too, but it makes me very uncomfortable placing A in that situation. Then when L started criticizing A's dancing at the party - when I was SO proud of A for doing so well at that party where he was so out of his element and he only knew L who was participating and he danced in front of a crowd when he had no idea what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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eccentric and is an easy target because he's different in some ways and is stubborn with his ways, but Z started a year ago saying really hostile things to both kids. I also know it's a stage that A will likely go through too, but it makes me very uncomfortable placing A in that situation. Then when L started criticizing A's dancing at the party - when I was SO proud of A for doing so well at that party where he was so out of his element and he only knew L who was participating and he danced in front of a crowd when he had no idea what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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do you really have to say so much? how about stopping after the first sentence? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Dude ... just cancel, talk about it in person. Do NOT send this e-mail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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I think this is too much detail and her feelings are bound to get hurt. If her kids are doing this with yours then then it is probably happening with other children as well which is probably painful for your friend. How about suggesting shorter playdates together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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where there is not as much time to fight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Simple. Your ds doesn't have to be friends with your friend's ds. Your ds decides who his friends are, not you. So basically say ds isn't interested in playdates with this mean kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I wouldn't send that email. Too much info, too many words, too much emotion. Don't call for playdates and if she calls tell her A doesn't want to but would she like to get together with you for coffee or something. That way you maintain your own friendship w/o force-feeding the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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These suggestions are better (more diplomatic) than how I dealt with a similar situation in the past, which was distance and cutting off the friendship! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:50 AM Flag
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to the OP: you sent that email, didn't you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.01.08, 04:53 AM Flag
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