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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Need advice on weaning. DB is almost 11 mo, nurses in am, takes 1 bottle/day and 1 bottle at bedtime. Have started adding some cow's milk to the bottles of bm in small amounts after DB rejected cow's milk on its own. Want DB on cow's milk at a year. How do I proceed over the next 5 wks? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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I thought that you weren't supposed to start on cows milk until 12 mo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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Ped said it's ok to try at 10mo. We tried at 10.5mo and DB has no probs digesting it, which is the concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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learn something new every day;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:16 PM Flag
[ - ] what is your definition of "affectionate"? Give an example of how this plays out between you and DH. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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my dh can just pass me and slap my ass or touch my shoulder..that's affectionate to me. He can kiss me passionately or just hold my hand..it's what I love (the little things) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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DH says it's all about physical touching, hand holding, smacking his ass I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:42 PM Flag
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Kiss him on the lips, hug him from behind when, tell him how sexy he is. Whistle when he gets out of the shower. Let him know you are interested, they love it and appreciate it, just like we do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:51 PM Flag
[ - ] how can i find babysitters for weekend nights, so my dh & I can go out. haven't been out in months. asked friends, but no one knows anyone to sit. families are out of town. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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sitter city [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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try the college campuses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Ask at your school -- office usually has suggestions of good sitters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Anthony Bourdain married? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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yes, and he has a little girl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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I love him. he recently married an Italian woman and they have a daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 03:44 PM Flag
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and his wife used to UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:37 PM Flag
[ - ] DH told me last night I wasn't affectionate enough toward him and he threatened to go find someone who would be. We will be getting counseling, but I'm a SAHM for 8 years -- what should I do now to protect myself and my kids in case this goes badly. We've been married for 15 years. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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Can you just be more affectionate toward him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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Mine has said this on more than one occasion. I spend so much time w/ the kids,i don't have a lot of energy to be affectionate. I am trying to make a real effort to do it though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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I heard great advice on UB about going to every hard a** divorce lawyer you can find and have a consultation, that way dh can't use them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Do you really want to "go low" this early? Give the guy some attention, he's actually telling you what he needs and wants, maybe there is something you'd like him to do to help you more in the marriage, like the dishes or something. If you don't want to got down that Divorce Road at least tey to accomadate him (write it down to remind yourself) he doesn't care how you get there, just that you do. It's a small price to pay instead of a Divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:43 PM Flag
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That's great advice, going to all the "hard ass lawyers"? You are a moron. A bitter desperate, vengeful woman does stuff like that. Why would you suggest that as the first thing she should do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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I think "more affectionate" might be code for--he wants more sex. Just basing this on men in general--I feel like 90% of the time they view their happiness in a marriage on how much they are getting. Of course this might be too simplistic, just a thought. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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no, it's really not about sex. he says it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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^^^ is more about touching and "noticing he is around". I was not raised in an affectionate home, so it doesn't come naturally for me, though I have made a concerted effort with the kids and that is pretty natural now. romantic affection is very foreign to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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ok. Then you are the one who should get real help in this department. Have you tried therapy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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I was also not raised in a very "touchy-feely" family--I know it can be hard. I am verbally affectionate but not always naturally physically. I think it would be a great idea to try it--give him a back-rub, take a shower together, hold his hand, sit close on the couch. Maybe ask him what kinds of touch he is talking about. The more you do it, the more natural it may become. I am concerned about the fact that he threatened to leave though--that seems very extreme. Counseling will probably help. I wouldn't talk to a lawyer just yet--he may feel very threatened by that move. There will be plenty of time to explore that option if efforts to repair the marriage don't go well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:35 PM Flag
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Your options are pretty limited. Obviously, try to work it out. Ask DH for a postnup to protect you and dc financially. And think about what you will do for money if you do divorce. Many SAHM get screwed through divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:29 PM Flag
[ - ] does it matter which bedrail we buy? any recs? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I like the extra-long one from One Step Ahead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone recommend an entertainer for a 5 year old's birthday party in the Hamptons (specifically the Quogue/Westhampton/Remsenburg area)? Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Sammie and Tudie are based in NYC but will travel out to the Hamptons. You can find them at www.imaginationplayhouse.com. We've used them quite a bit in NYC, but I have friends who are further out east than you are, and they've had Sammie and Tudie at their parties. They do a 45-minute show plus face painting and balloon animals/sculptures. Both are very talented. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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jlo and mark [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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If jlo says no (rumour is she's the boss, he's too thin as a result of the stress) Broadway Babies goes out there too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:04 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a part-time babysitter who is a real busy-body. It is great that she is friendly when w/ ds (to other nannys and moms) but she is always digging for 'dirt' with me. It is annoying. I really don't want to talk with her at all. What would you do? Or am i being unreasonable? tia. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Is she trying to find out things about you by asking you questions directly or is she asking other people about you? If she is asking you directly about things that are just a bit rude/personal, she may be trying to be friendly but just doesn't have very good social skills. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:17 PM Flag
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just be honest and up front. call a spade a spade. say, you know what, I'm not comfortable talking about other people, or fill in the sentence to fit the question. Honesty is always the best policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 10:57 AM Flag
[ - ] anyone had a massage at Equinox @ Columbus Circle? thinking of getting dh a gift certificate for anniversary. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I've had them at 63rd and 54th. They're ok, but not the best - I found that the therapists really cheat you on time. For a FANTASTIC massage I go to Ettia on the UWS. Tiny, dinky place but their therapists are awesome [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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great! thanks! i will try Ettia. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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don't be put off by the "look" of the spa - I go there monthly and it is honestly the best in NYC. Basically a small apartment but the therapists work at it. My spa addict friend says it is the best spa she's been to as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:02 PM Flag
[ - ] do dbs sometimes stop liking their solids when their teeth are coming in? 8 mo ds was loving his food until last few days, but sucking down those bottles... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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yeah, happened with mine for a few days when his second bottom tooth came in. 7 mo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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DB definitely took a hiatus from eating or even talking much bm while his teeth were breaking through. After a few days, he was back to normal appetite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you ever have those days where no one calls or texts you back? I am having one of those days. They make me very paranoid. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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OMG totally. Usually when Im PMS ing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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op: oh, how funny. i just got my period. hadn't thought of that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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Often - makes me crazy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Have been struggling with childless friends since I had db and sent them an email to say I missed them and let them know when we were free to get together and that I was willing to get a sitter to see them in the evening. 2 out of 4 responded and essentially said, 'we're not free when you are'. Pretty sad. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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then they aren't your friends (that's sad of them). You told them you are willing to get a sitter because you miss them and they don't have the time? Screw them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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Sounds like you need to make some new friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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aww not nice. I'll be your friend :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Designer moms:getting a wall-mount vanity made for new sink and can't decide which look to go for: vanity to be slightly smaller or vanity to be exactly same size as sink? Had decided to go for slightly smaller but now can't decide between the looks! Can you weigh in, please? Tia 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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A top-mount sink? If so, choosing a vanity that is either smaller or much bigger would look more dramatic than one the same size. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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op:thanks! It's a wall-mount sink but we're getting a unit put underneath as we need the storage space. Would love to go much bigger but not much space to play with in bathroom. Okay, you helped me decide! Will go smaller. Thanks again [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:59 PM Flag
[ - ] Good thing I wore dark jeans to work instead of my khakis. Otherwise, I'd have to explain the red spots. Ugh. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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yeah, you're me. 39 and still that happens to me almost every month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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op: I'm 42! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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this is why I always wear black or dark jeans when my period arrives. I bleed like a homicide crime scene [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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np: That was how it was for me after having kids. Had to sleep on a towel, would bleed through a tampon/pad combo in no time. Had to have a hysterectomy for another reason, so happy now with a period! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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or: yes this is worse since having kids. I have 2 horribly heavy days then it's normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:01 PM Flag
[ - ] My marriage is not what I thought it would be. DH was successful on track for partner lawyer who doted on me when we met. Now he is not v. nice, yells at me a lot, is very restrictive in raising dcs and his career has gone off track. When do you know its time to divorce to time to get help? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.07.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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What has changed for him? What accounts for the shift in behavior? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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Sometimes I wonder if he was always like this but I didn't see it. He is so so so conservative, he freaks out over anything that is messy or out of order. I just can't take it but everyone thinks we are the perfect happy couple including my parents and I don't know what to do! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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The abusive types always hide it well. They can't keep it in for long though. He has always been this way, don;t blame yourself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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Thats what I was thinking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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maybe you were too busy looking ahead to "partner" and didn't notice he's an asshole. in which case, it is your fault. I'm in the same position by the way, but it's not law. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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I'd say getting help can be any time you think you need it, and it sounds like you are looking for help now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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you are right, I think I am looking for help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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it's time to get help. now. not time to divorce, at least not yet. try getting help first. and main thing you should fix first is yelling at you. that's no good. probably all related to career unhappiness, etc. but make that stop. let him know you're serious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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Called my sister's therapist and have an appt next week [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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My dh is successful and i went through the same thing. We have been seperated until he decides that he wants to be part of a family. How old is he? this may make a difference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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he is 39. I think a lot of his issues may be tied to not being the successful lawyer he thought he would be but the screaming and the restrictive environment is too much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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wow, I hope this isn't me in a few years... we're still at the on track for partner lawyer who dotes on me but we have a few issues stage... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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Well wake up and realize how few make partner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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Not every lawyer can become partner, right? I hope your marriage does not rely on him becoming partner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:36 PM Flag
[ - ] DD was cut by an energy saving light bulb a few years ago. She's been tested many times for mercury poisoning and all have come up negative. Are we lucky or is all this insanity about the expensive and issues with clean up just hype? Or will it possible show up later. Ped said not to worry. Your thoughts? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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When I called poison control (we had one burst), they said the biggest risk is in a closed environment upon initial release of the gas - it is micronized (sp?), so you can inhale it. Touching it and then later ingesting the mercury was also an issue, but less so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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she's probably fine. Was the bulb broken? It is all vapor, so I don't think that much would have transmitted via the cut. That said, I have a friend who had one break in DD's room and she called the company that cleans it up. The DD's room tested at twice the recommended exposure. So I don't think that it is hoax. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:56 PM Flag
[ - ] How old were you when you had your first dc? How old was your mom when she did? Why do you all say 25 is too young? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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i was 36, my mom was 24. I dont' think 25 is too young necessarily, though it would have been for me. Depends on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Mom was 25, I was 27; I was definitely not too young; my mom is still immature at 56 so she's not a very good example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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I was 34 when we adopted our first. My mom was 37 when she had me (but had my brother & sister at 20 & 22). For me, 25 sounds young, but then I haven't btdt so I don't really know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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I was 24, mom was 26. You have to do what is right for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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I was 34 my mom was 39. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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I was 34. My mom, however, was only 18. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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I was 37, my Mom was 26, I don't think 25 is too young but you are giving up part of your young adulthood if you have a baby at 25. It's a choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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i was 29. my mom had her first at 20 (she's from down south, that's how they did it). my friend had her first at 24 and it was perfect for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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I was 32 yr old..my mom was 23yr old. She was wayyyy too young IMO but in those days (1968) it was the norm. I know I wasn't ready for a dc in my 20's. Looking back I thank god I waited. I was still growing and maturing. In my 30's I was really ready [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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^^I say my mom was too young because she got married and in a month was pg. She never had the time alone with my dad to be a couple. Never traveled and I think it made her miserable after a while [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:04 PM Flag
[ - ] need advice .. I'm a first time mom, my dd is 2.6 yrs. She has terrible tantrums (1-2 hrs, will hit self, throw things). Worst part is she demands I sit in certain places, drags me around house demanding me to do certain things, etc. If I ignore her, she chases me down. If I go to her when she asks she then sends me away. Are these symptoms for anything other than the toddler years and possibly my lack of knowledge/skill in dealing with this? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.07.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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Have you always done exactly hat she wants when she wants it? When I was a first time mom I was so scared to tell dc no and then slowly I started and the behavior stopped about 6 months after I started laying down the law [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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hmm, i think some of both. I think you need to institute a little discipline, 1/2/3 and time outs. punishments & rewards. IT won't work perfectly, but it'll help and she'll start learning if you're serious and carry through with things. She's old enough to get the picture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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She is walking all over you and will likely continue to do it until you put your foot down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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Classic case of terrible twos. You have to start telling no to dd - and stick to it. she needs to respect you. Will take 2-3 months. worked like a charm for us once I finally decided to be the person in charge. Read 1-2-3 book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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could be either. Does she have other Sensory integration symptoms? Like being very sensitive to noise, taste, texture? any speech delays? any walking on her tiptoes? all SI symptoms. Try setting boundaries.they get scared if they are allowed to run the show; they know they're not up to the job. being scared makes them anxious, anxiety leads to tantrums and overly controlling behavior. it's a vicious cycle. If no improvement after 4 mos. get evaluation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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Thank you for comments. Hardest part I have in trying to discipline is she goes from happy to meltdown and there is no time in between to try to do the time out. Then when try to discipline via time outs she is physically out of control and I can't keep her there unless I am so physical with her that I feel like it is inappropriate physical behavior. She is not sensitive to noise, taste, textures and has no speech delays and doesn't walk on tiptoes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:28 AM Flag
[ - ] need a recc for a self tanner that is not orange and is fool proof for idiots like me to apply. can be $$. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:37 PM Flag
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I like the tinted lotions, like jergins, it builds up gradually, which drastically minimizes streaks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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