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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Can anyone offer me an alternative to CIO to get 1 YO to eventually be able to be left in his crib alone to fall asleep? He currently will only sleep if nursed or rocked to sleep. I wouln 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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dn't mind but it's taking up so much time that it's really taking a toll on me, my marriage, my other DC, basically the entire family is suffering. i dont' want this to turn into a CIO fight so please just respond if you have other suggestions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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Reduce your contact gradually. There will be some tears but if you go gradually it will be less difficult. Start by rubbing back, then just stay nearby, then near door, etc. I had to do this with all 3 of mine, and for each it played out differently, but I didn't do CIO except with one, and for that it was never more than 4 mins (by my watch) before I went in and patted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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when you did this did it get worse before it got better? my little DS becomes LIVID if i am near him in the crib and do not pick him up? my mom has done the back rubbing successfully when she visited but for me he immediately sits up screaming hysterically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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i think with middle one it did get worse before it got better. just kept soothing tone, tried singing, tried finding a song that worked. could even walk away and say something like, i can't stay if you scream. then he realizes that having you there is better than having you far away. good luck--it is not easy but you'll get through it if you are consistent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Help! I am a seperated dad with a 14 month-old who I will have on weekends in Manhattan. I love my son! Is there a nyc guidebook for rules for babies in NYC (taxi cabs; strollers, etc). I need a guide like "raising a baby in NYC". Any ideas? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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why not ask your ex about what your dc likes to do. that would be a great start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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Ummm...how have you survived the past 14 months of your sons life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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did you just move to the city? go on urbandady.com. they probably have something there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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that's just mean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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I just moved to the city - I am more asking about "rules of the road" with infants in the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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I'm not trying to be funny, but I bought a book called Dogs in NYC so I'm sure there is something like that on amazon.com. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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http://www.amazon.com/City-Baby-Ultimate-Pregnancy-Preschool/dp/0789308320/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1215737004&sr=8-1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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there are no real rules per se. make sure to bring snacks, change f clothes, etc. and head out in teh stroller. you can hit a park, playground or indoor playspace and just let your son do his thing. I'm sure you will both have a great time. 14 months is still a little young for a lot of organized activities but I find that my 15 month old son loves being outside, playing in the sand or water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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Not sure about the rules of the road type books but maybe you should subscribe to some magazines like Time Out New York Kids and look at websites like GoCityKids. Also, if you go to any Barnes and Noble they have books on raising kids in NYC. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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there is a book called city baby - new york which I think may give some advice - haven't read it myself though, so not sure how good it it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I am feeling completely overwhelmed. I am expecting my second child in a few months and my 15 month old son is driving me crazy. He has always been a very bright boy buy is VERY challenging--always testing me and pushing my buttons. I feel like all he does is do the things that he is not supposed to do (trying to pull cords out of the outlets, throwing food on the ground, running away from me when I am trying to change his diaper or get him dressed. My husband works crazy hours so I am essentially doing this alone. Mammas of 2 kids under two, how do you deal? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Somehow kids seem to know when we are overwhelmed and the day just goes down hill. Try to get a good night's sleep and take care of yourself and you'll be better able to put up with your 15mo kid's antics. Your ds will also calm down in time. hang in there! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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i agree. they pick up on everything. you might want to try to just be calmer in general and not make an issue out of every little thing. the kid obviously senses that soon he is not going to be the #1 priority. once the baby comes you are going to have to set aside "alone" time with him. i would comfort him and try to be as reassuring as possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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From someone who was in a very similar situation, accept that this next year or two will be really hard. Try to get some outside help if you can (babysitter and/or cleaning person) and don't be too hard on yourself if you need to take some shortcuts (i.e. putting on a video to give yourself a break, especially when the new baby arrives, sometimes feeding them food that might not be the most nutritous but is easy, etc.). Your 15 month old is at a very difficult age so it is going to be tough when the new one comes but he will grow up a bit, go to school, etc. eventually. In a couple of years when things start to even out and they are great playmates for eachother things will feel like a piece of cake compared to these first few years. Good luck - I'm not going to lie and say it will be easy but try to enjoy it as much as you can because they really do grow up so fast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:26 PM Flag
[ - ] is there a stomach bug going around? both dc's have diarrhea for the past 2 days. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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not that i've heard of but could be water at park or just being out in the filthy city everyday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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my dd is at camp all day and swims 4 days a week. she has a little diarreha but i chock it up to swallowing the pool water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] yes, he said that 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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sounds like it's time to take a mini-holiday just the two of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:26 PM Flag
[ - ] can you do low-carb while breasftfeeding? is it safe? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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your milk supply will most likely diminish but other than that no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Please no flames. Broke up with affair recently. Miss him so much. Tell me to be strong. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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You broke up with him for a reason. Don't forget that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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just remind yourself of why you guys broke it off. it will pass. stay strong. btdt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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why did you break it off (besides the obvious) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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DH found out and how supportive and loving he has been since made me see him in a completely new light. I really love(d) the affair but I want to give my marriage another chance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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wow, your DH was supportive when he found out you had an affair?! Hold on tight to this one!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:34 PM Flag
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seriously. good luck to you both, try to get over the affair and be happy with your clearly great dh who obviously loves you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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was he married as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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be strong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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Grow up. Have some dignity and class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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You don't get it till you have been there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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I think it's natural that you miss him. Hang in there, and don't expect that you won't feel pain and loss. I wish you and your H the very best. A PP says that you broke up with your AP for a reason, but there must also have been reasons why you had an affair with him. I would look at that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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I'm sure you feel in love with this man, but look at the situation from a non-romantic way....like a therapist would see it. Truth be told, affairs are often an "escape", particularly to women who feel their entire identity is wrapped up in being mommy and wifey. (ie-maid, cook, nurturer with no paycheck or appreciation) It's no wonder that you feel so connected to this man....he probably made you feel like [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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I agree but I don't think only women whose identity is wrapped up in being a mom and a wife have affairs. I am a MW having an affair with a MM, and I also work fulltime. My AP and I have tried breaking up many times, and always ended up in the same place as the OP -- missing each other and then someone breaks down and calls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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(sorry, i accidently hit post when i wan't done with this) Anyway, he probably made you feel like yourself for the first time in a long time. Like a woman, like a sexual being. That's very powerful. Try to see that it's probably not HIM you miss as much as the way being with him made you feel. That helps take away some of the power from the person you miss, if you identify exactly what feelings his presence in your life evoked, and know that it's how you felt with him is really what you miss. You may truly love this man, but if you want to move on, you're going to have to take this approach. One other thing I would say is if you truly, truly want to move on, and not love him anymore, pray about it. I'm not religous at all, so it's funny that I would even give that advice, but I know that if you ask God or the universe or whatever you believe in to help you with this, it can be comforting. I'm sorry for your heartbreak, I know it's not easy, but you can do this. Don't be hard on yourself...you're mourning a loss, so allow yourself to be sad and miss him, but again, begin day by day to balance that with seing the situation as a therapist would. You are stronger than you think you are. I hope you find peace of mind soon - trust me that it will get easier every day, but you do have to reassure yourself that you ARE strong, and I know that you will stay that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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Very good reply. Much hard to say than do, but it is best to leave while it is still beautiful. You know that some day the end is inevitable. Do no wait until the luster is gone. It might sound unbelievable right now, but if you wait long enough, the affair itself will find a way to erode your love. There is so much anguish that goes along with the love, and in the end it erodes the ground you stand on. Do not wait till what is beautiful gets mared by ugliness. Get out now. It is better to sob into your pillow and miss for a while and have fond memories with 'what if' feelings to remember than to have nothing but emptiness left. Trust me, leave while you still feel deeply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 02.12.09, 09:54 PM Flag
[ - ] At what grade do kids in public schools start reading and discussing the same books (or is reading always done independently)? If they do read the same books, can you give the grades and examples of reading books, please? Thanks. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.10.08, 05:24 PM Flag
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In K. The teacher will do read-alouds and there will be group discussion. Many teachers continue read-alouds all the way through elementary. It sharpens kids listening skills and is an important pre-cursor to being able to take lecture notes in middle and high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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Do they read and discuss the same book? I'm not asking about books being read to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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Well, it starts with read-alouds and then by probably 2nd grade when all the kids can read comfortably they'll all read the same book as a class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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in our school it was k and it was called DEAR time. drop everything and read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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All kids read the same book in K? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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no they were assigned levels and there were various bins with the levels marked on them. each child knew there level and so went to their bins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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I'm asking when (or if) kids in the same class ever read and discuss the same book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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At LL yes, K kids all read the same book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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What book? Not in our K, considering some kids did not really read at all until close to year-end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:35 AM Flag
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DC was in 1st grade this year and they did character studies so they all read the same books - Poppleton, Cam Jansen, Henry and Mudge and Judy Moody [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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seems like all girl books. why can't schools ever focus on boys? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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yup...and I have a boy too....what sucks is most early chapter books are geared toward girls...although I've noticed there is a Stink Moody series no (about Judy Moody's brother)...but it's no wonder boys lag behind girls in reading when so many of them have no interest in the subject matter available to them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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ditto. so annoying. everything is so girl oriented in elementary school. no gym, and judy moody books. my kid will be bouncing off the walls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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when your dc is ready, keep these in mind: captain underpants, James and the Giant Peach, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Stink Moody series (if it catches on) and I just bought dc a book called Diary of a Wimpy Kid which he seems to be enjoying now (he's going into 2nd grade)...but it is a challenge to find material that he finds interesting. Also, when he is a level 2 reader there are some Sponge Bob Square Pants early readers an some level 2 books in the Teacher from the Black Lagoon series..but make sure they are the level 2 ones, there are other ones that are more advanced [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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There's the Encyclopedia Brown series (boy detective). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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also Nate the Great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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also the Time Warp Trio [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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also the Shredderman series by Wendelin Van Draanen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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and The Great Brain series. Also, Ricky Ricotta and his Amazing Robot Series for early readers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:32 PM Flag
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The Giggler Treatment by Roddy Doyle (yes, that Roddy Doyle). Books by Andy Griffiths (gross but popular with boys). The Phantom Tollbooth. There are lots of books for boys, but the schools don't use any of them. They only use sappy books for girls about girls adn their search for their identiies. Try complaining to principal. Did at my school and a few boy oriented books were added. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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My son likes these books Jake Drake(by Andrew Clements),Roscoe Riley Rules(by Katherine Applegate)and the Ready Fredy series. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 10:40 PM Flag
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There are all these mystery books, things like Magic tree house series that are for boys and girls alike, IMO. Also, every school will be happy for you to buy books for the classroom, many have bookfairs and B&N fairs for this, so feel free to buy books your ds would like to read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:42 AM Flag
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Henry and Mudge is girl oriented? What? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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In public schools, classes rarely do "whole class" books--it's usually independent reading. This is the workshop method. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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All the way through 5th grade? Don't kids in 3rd, 4th and 5th grades read and talk about the same books? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 09:48 PM Flag
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In 4th the teacher still did a read aloud which they all talked about and then the kids broke into small groups by reading level. Each group read a book at their level and talked about it. This is great because the top readers aren't bored and the slow ones aren't frustrated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:24 AM Flag
[ - ] So here i thought i had it great -- a nanny that actually likes to go out and do things with my dd. But is it possible she's doing too much? DD is extremely cranky at night, b/c she's not napping well, is eating snacks late, so won't eat dinner. And I'm afraid she's going to think everyday should be all day park day. Help? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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just write out a schedule for you nanny and explain the situation to her. something like from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. go to park, 11:30 to 1 be home for lunch and rest time. 1:30 to 4:00 outdoor time and home by 4:30 for rest and at home play. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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op, thank you. she had made comments when i wanted dd home to nap, instead of the stroller, so i thought i was being unreasonable. but other issues now have piled on. give an inch, they take a mile, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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np: Your nanny should listen to your requests, you are the boss. If you are micromanaging her then of course she would be pissed, but to ask for nap at home every day is totally reasonable, and if she can't do it she is not the nanny for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:40 AM Flag
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this is a common problem with a lot of nannies. Honestly, it's not a great sign. It means your nanny cares more about her social life than your child's well being. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:20 AM Flag
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yes, nanny wnats to be out and about becasue for her downtown is boring. she doesn't wnat to play with your child in your apartment, she wnats to be meeting meeting her freinds and their charges at the park, museum, etc. YOU need to set the scheudle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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meant "downtime" -she probably loves "downtown"! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:59 AM Flag
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I would enforce the nap in the crib rule after lunch. My nanny always takes dc out too, but nap needs to be at home. Otherwise it just does not happen, and dc still needs it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 06:39 AM Flag
[ - ] my husband doesn't find me desirable anymore. i'm still 10 pounds overweight from the baby and it's been 10 months. my stomach hangs like something awful. i work out everyday. it's not a lot but i'm petite and it shows. what can i do? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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10 pounds overweight is not a big deal. Is this in your head? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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i wish it was in my head. he tells me at least once a week. and i get livid about it because i'm trying and he knows it. i'm also breasfeeding so i don't want to diet necessarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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Wow, so 10 months after giving birth, he wants you back in perfect shape? He is a jerk then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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did he say that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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yes, he said that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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The extra ten pounds is HIS problem, not yours. Is he always a jerk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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no, amazingly this is the one thing he's a total jerk at. everything else is cool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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Tummy tuck, then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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if he doesn't find you desirable then it's him with the problem, from what you describe. i think i need to lose weight and my dh can't keep his hands off me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:26 PM Flag
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get a trainer if it bothers YOU. not for your DH. he seems shallow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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i'm so sorry to hear that. you deserve a supportive mate in this time of your life. take heart and be good to yourself, spiritually and through your physical health. and i hope that things look up for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
[ - ] my soon to be first grader can barely read Dick and Jane. I am feeling anxious. Is it time to get him a reading helper? 52 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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My soon to be first grader can't read anything but a few words and a few sight words. That switch has turned on for him. If he's not reading on level by end of 1st, then I'd get him a reading tutor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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i think the rule of thumb is when they start losing teeth they should start to learn to read but everyone goes at their own pace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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hmm. never heard that connection - teeth and reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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i know it's weird i just heard it last week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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nope. Kids normally learn btwn K-2nd grade. Many schools dont' teach formal reading until 1st grade because they know all dc aren't ready in K [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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my dc was reading freckle juice by judy blume in the summer btwn K-1. and finished all HP books by end of 2nd grade. She's not a genius, just happened to be a good reader. There was definite peer pressure b/c other kids she was friends with were super bright and very early readers. She's not in 5th grade and, truly, very little difference in reading skills among the kids, except that mine actually LOVES reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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oops....typo. she's NOW in 5th grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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or: my dd was the only kid starting K reading. She just finished 2nd grade and many that started the yr not reading are reading now..not great readers but improving. There was no peer pressure according to her for the other kids. I heard that by 4th -5th (like you mentioned) they will all be pretty much equal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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np here. actually, i have kid going into 5th grade, and while all the kids CAN read the same words in the books, most are very slow readers, don't enjoy reading and have difficulty with language arts, in general, including writing. i think it's the way it's taught here in the U.S [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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What age did she start K? 4, 5, or 6? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:29 PM Flag
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she's a late november birthday and was the second youngest in her class. she was 4.9 years old when she started K. Public school, not G&T. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:30 PM Flag
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wait - are some kids 6 years old when they start K? WHAT???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:31 PM Flag
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Most are! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:33 PM Flag
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when they start K? 6? my dc was 4.9. how is that age disparity possible? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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How? Most are five, some are 4. Very few are 6 when they start K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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Not in public school in NYC! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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So many boys with summer b-days are held back, so they're 6 when they start K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:35 PM Flag
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OMG [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:36 PM Flag
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Not in NYC, in the burbs maybe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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Private schools, yes, b/c the cutoff is different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Both my sons did not read until the end of first grade. Then it clicked, and both are reading above grade level now. Don't worry yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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same here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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You could be me. Every night my soon-tp-be 1st grader and I grab a new Level 1 book (from a huge box donated by friends whose children have long since moved on to more complex books) amd he painfully, agonizingly lurches through the book witha 3-% accuracy rate. My heart is breaking, he seems so smart and I am a voracious reader. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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Your heart is breaking? I hope you're not pressuring him before he's ready. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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He will be 7 this fall. When should he be ready? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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op here. have you had him tested for eyes? or special issues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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yup, he is right as rain [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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then. it's just a matter of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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thanks for responding. i sometimes feel like other moms restrict playdates with my son b/c they dont think he's smart enough or mature enough. their kids are better athletes, readers, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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Maybe it's just you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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very possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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I felt this way and posted here for support and a bunch of moms said exactly that: "maybe it's just you." They're just being nasty: how could they have a clue whether it's you or your kid? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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so sorry that you encountered nastiness. i also deal with it, it's not in my head. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I have a son who has a speech problem (articulation delay, not language problem) and I know at least one mom who nixed playdates with my son b/c she thinks he is not her son's caliber of friend. I am still outraged about it and can only remind myself of his many other skills and the fact that childhood is short and he has many opportunities to succeed ahead of him. But still, there are times I want to just smack that mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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so sorry for you. i know how you feel. my dc also have articulation (not language) issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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so hard for them, b/c they get shy, and they finally find someone they want to play with, and then the mom goes and crushes it. how can she not see the value in my son? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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it's very unkind. i don't have answers for you. there is such beauty in childhood, and some moms can't be bothered with less than their definition of perfection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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NP: But just look at yourselves -- you are also setting up a hierarchy by saying "only articulation problem" not language. It is clearly a peking order, and you're just as much a part of as the mother who nixed your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I didn't say 'only,' you did. And I clarified b/c if a kid has a true language problem it interferes with capacity to communicate. Artic. problem is like an accent. Makes a difference when you're talking about friendships. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ew. Send her address so we can all smack her. Her kids will end up hating her - don't worry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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Really, this was me with my first. So painful for me, one of those top reading group kids blah blah. But honestly, it clicked at the end of first and now he is a middle schooler and reads like me and we talk about books and it's what I had hoped for. Don't despair. I also think (but have no data to support this) that it may be different for boys. At least in my house, my boys read relatively late but my daughter seems to be on a different path. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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thanks, I appreciate the encouragement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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I also did not push too hard until first had begun (so it was like homework, not me freaking) but I kept reading to him so he'd love stories. In the end, it's the love of stories that drives you to keep reading, and the more you read, the better you get. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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Look, my little guy is 6. He'll be in 1st grade this fall. He sounds just like your kid. A lot of the kids in his kinder class came in reading or were reading fairly well by the end. I am a NOT stressing. I read to him from long chapter books every night--right now it's Catwings, lately a lot of Little House. He LOVES it, loves being read to. Likes to talk about the books. He said to me one day w/ a happy sigh "I just love books." That's what I'm after. He will eventually read--and once they read, they don't unread. I don't want the time we spend w/ books to be stressful for unhappy. I really trust this will work out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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op here. you sound like a great mom. i envy you terribly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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Wow, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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You know, you and poster above just knocked some sense into my head. You're right. I need to go back to enjoying books and reading to him regardless of who is reading them. Thanks a million, I'm headed to the library for my Little House books first thing tomorrow! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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If you have a boy, try Farmer Boy--it's terrific. DS also loves Roald Dahl and Rudyard Kipling and it's so fun to read aloud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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The BFG (Dahl) is a hoot. Also all the Fudge books by Judy Blume. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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my dd clicked with her reading jan of first grade - she is now an amazing and avid reader. she reads by herself on her own accord all the time. She is still struggling with bigger books (liek magic treehouse) on her own, but overall is doing great. DO NOT WORRY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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My d. could not read at all in English even after 1st grade (pre K - 1st grade in another language). She figured it out after 2 days of 2nd grade and never looked back. You should not worry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Dh has a demanding job and does a ton of things around the house, including financial stuff, all things car and computer related, etc. I want childcare to be 50/50 when he's home...is that fair or am I being unreasonable? He's not sitting around relaxing when home (he's doing house stuff) but as a pg SAHM I need a break from ds. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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sahm too- watching this post :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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i would say no it sounds like you get way more than most. i work full time and still have to most everything with the exception of cooking dinner as my dh thinks he's the next iron chef! he does help with dinner dishes occasionally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:20 PM Flag
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do you have a housekeeper? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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Offer to do some of the house stuff in exchange for him taking ds out for a couple of hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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I think in your case, you should get a sitter once or twice a week so you could do "you" stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] think i can take my 15 month son to sesame place? really wnat to go. Also, where should we stay? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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no it's for older kids and very very busy in teh summer, you'll be crazy tryign to keep track of him and make sure he doesn't get lost [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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i can push him in the stroller around no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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Most kids this young are scared of giant walking creatures [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] oh my gosh craving craving craving a twix...kids sleeping about to call a friend to bring me one! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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twix is by far the best candybar out there imho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:22 PM Flag
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i'm partial to watchamacallits [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:25 PM Flag
[ - ] What is the best way to cancel with a babysitter you have no intention of using again? Just isn't the right fit. Just an occasional babysitter too. Not a regular nanny. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.10.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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don't call anymore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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I have her scheduled to come and want to cancel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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you really need advice on this? Call and say, we don't need you to come anymore...we have a change of plans. Not that hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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Dc is sick, so have to cancel, and then never call [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:14 PM Flag
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do you want us to wipe for you too? seriously, just call and say you don't need her services at this point. thanks anyway. if she is coming tomorrow, mail her $20 for her time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:21 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm about to do this whole K admissions thing entirely on my own...DD is in an ongoing pre K that won't help. What do I do about the teacher evaluations? Do I give them right to the teacher and ask her not to tell the director? This is scary but I think we need to apply out. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.10.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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Of course everyone has to do it on their own. What do you mean? I did it on my own and nobody else can do it for you. PSD's role is really overblown - to justify their charging $20k for what every daycare does for a whole lot less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:12 PM Flag
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But she needs teacher report, so she has to tell the school she is applying out. No way the teacher would hide it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:13 PM Flag
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OP: I'm so scared of this. How will it look? What if DD doesn't get in anywhere and then we have to stay at the ongoing school with them knowing we tried to escape? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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You won't be the first nor the last if that happens. It will soon become water under the bridge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:27 PM Flag
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seriously, you are less important to the school than you think you are right now. no offense meant [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:28 PM Flag
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hand it to the teacher and ask her to get it in by the due date. That's it. That's what I did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:15 PM Flag
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we had friends who just did this-they worked through the teachers. it was fine, the dc got into the school they wanted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:18 PM Flag
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Definitely. I'm sure it's totally the norm. Most kids don't go to K where they went to pre-K. And if you end up staying there another year, I'm sure they'll happily take your child and your $. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:33 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone want to chat about the trials and tribulations of planning a wedding? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:07 PM Flag
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I had fun planning mine. What are you stressing about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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at this point things are coming together, but planing something in nyc on a budget is tough! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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I'm surethat would be hard. I got married in a small town and things were pretty cheap. Happiest day of my life. I hope it is for you also (and yes - I know that sounds cheesy!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:11 PM Flag
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it will be. we have actually decided to elope in a few weeks and i am really excited. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:21 PM Flag
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I loved planning mine. Wasn't stressed, everything went fine. I did everything myself and went off without a hitch or me stressed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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^^^I had a tight budget but with enough time and research, it can be done and with lots of ease. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:17 PM Flag
[ - ] My 4 yo dd is super wiggly and talkative...even slight ocd maybe. when i read to her she interupts constantly to ask questions...not directly related to the story but things like, "is that a boy or a girl?" or pointing out her favorite color. I know these are important to her but it is non-stop. It drives me crazy...we can't get through a book. I often tell her she needs to stop and listen. Is this bad? Shoud I allow her to interupt anytime to interject comments? I don't want to stifle her thoughts, but I would like to read a book without all the starting and stopping. Any thought? Tia. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:00 PM Flag
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I think it's a good time for her to learn that when someone is reading she isn't supposed to constantly interrupt with Q's..she can ask at the end of the page [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:01 PM Flag
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op: that is kind of what I was thinking...i was just worried that she would feel like I didn't want to hear her thoughts...she is very sensitive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:02 PM Flag
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if she must ask questions then you need to make a deal that all questions have to be asked when the page is read..if not she will ask after every few words. This will be good practice for school too. She can't be interrupting in class [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:04 PM Flag
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good point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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^^^My dd is 4yr old also (and does this a lot) and I will let her ask a Q but if it gets to be too many I tell her she can ask when mommy finishes the page. I also remind her that if she isn't sitting quietly she will miss the story. She got it..she forgets at times but I just remind her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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my 3.5yo is often the same. I think (I hope) it's a phase. I try to let her ask or comment within reason but sometimes I do tell her just to listen quietly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 05:03 PM Flag
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